Stuck in Oz

I guess a new title is in the near future

2008-09-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

So, I'm preparing to leave Oz, hopefully for good. Yesterday I turned 26, and celebrated by having lunch at the kids' school, and signing them out early so we could hang out. The ex and I argued all day via text, but I was very surprised when he attempted to make lunch plans together. The kids and I had a great time, they were so excited to show me their school, and introduce me to people there. We had a blast at the park, and I was really determined to not let anything ruin my day. When we got home, it finally got to me... he was just ignoring me and staying out of my way by that point, and as angry as I was, that hurt. I guess I just really wanted him to still be my friend, to wish me well, to acknowledge me.

I got that wish when I broke down in tears, and it came with a hug, and some conversation. I've never felt so desperate for something as I did that moment, just an overwhelming need to be held, to be close to someone. I got my wish, we hung out through out the evening, and I actually felt ok sleeping in the same bed again. I can honestly say I was mentally begging him to touch me, just put his arm around me, all night, but when I went to bed, I had given that thought up. Surprised again, he did reach over, for the first time in weeks, to pull me closer to him. It felt like a drink of water in the desert... and we all know where this is going. Honestly, we both hesitated, although my hesitation was clouded by my mind screaming "Please touch me!!!" That's pathetic, I know, but true nonetheless.

So, I went into it, even in the moment, knowing it didn't change anything, and I thought I was ok with that. But when I was thinking that, it was on the grand scale, like this doesn't mean we are getting back together, or even that I want to, and that's fine. I took it as we can at least enjoy whatever is left, and this will make things a ~~little~~ LOT less miserable while I'm still here. I mean, given the choice between sharing the same space and being so miserable I want to kill myself, or sharing the same space and enjoying each other's company, it's a no-brainer, right?

Wrong. I didn't realize how different I was seeing it. I took that intimacy to be an olive branch, and to indicate we would be able to be affectionate with each other in the last days of our time together. I know that sounds dramatic, and I don't mean it to be, but we are going to live half a country apart, and will probably never really talk again after I leave. So... I thought maybe this meant we would make the most of it. I feel like I'm dying every time he's near me, and I can't lay my head on his lap, or have him kiss my forehead. The little things that I wanted more of, but didn't appreciate in the first place. Now, he hasn't done anything wrong, really... He hasn't made me feel like he just wanted to get off, and I was there. He hasn't been cold, or mean, or anything like it was for the past couple of weeks. He just hasn't been the snuggly, cuddly person he was 24 hours ago either. I'm a fucking idiot for thinking anything otherwise though, because that really isn't how our relationship was to begin with, and it's a major part of why we broke up... I needed more of the touchy-feely stuff than he did. I actually don't know how he would act right now if I made the first move, and sat next to him, but I haven't because he has been playing a new game he's really excited about. But when I went and rented that game for him today, I also picked up movies, hoping maybe we could watch one together, and that's not happening.

I was really foolish to think things would be great today, as if sex changed it at all. I'm even more foolish because I *really* want to do it again, for both the sexual satisfaction and the closeness of the act. Because even though I know it's a bad idea, after 2 weeks of total iciness to each other, I'm going insane. It's not the same to snuggle with someone else, and I completely shut down at the thought of anyone else in bed, so I totally understand why so many couple have sex after the break up. I'm just surprised I've let it get to me, that's I can't seem to shake off the hurt of the break-up. I went through this with Brian, and the feelings are so similar that I feel nauseous... it took me 2 years to stop feeling that way about him. The ironic part is those feelings for Bri lasted through another long relationship, and didn't dissipate until I started dating Jeremy. I saw Brian a week or so ago, and it was the first time I had seen him since I started dating J, and also the first time I had absolutely NO desire to be with him. Too bad I might face another year or two battling off the residuals of this relationship now.

All said, I just want him to hold me... It calms me like nothing else I can find, and there have been hours at a stretch where I have sobbed, and repeated that statement like a mantra. Whispering to myself, begging him to just put his arms around me. I haven't really dealt with the fact that he doesn't want to anymore. That he doesn't want me anymore. I just don't know how.

Well, so I thought...

2008-09-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

I honestly thought I had hit a low when writing my last post, but things just keep getting worse!! He dumped me, and the honest truth is, all I wanted was affection. So, instead of giving me affection, he decided he couldn't meet my needs, and the best way to handle it was to dump me. Really, our entire relationship played out in times of high stress, and we probably didn't have a chance because of it. But... we had agreed when we started dating that we would walk away friends, no matter what. When I had tried to call it off (and to cancel our trip to Alpine because I didn't think I could afford to go if I had to find a place to live on my own) he kept telling me I wasn't keeping my word of remaining friends. Now it's him who is saying "Fuck you" to that idea.

Let me give credit where credit is due... he hasn't thrown me and the kids out on the street. He has, however, made my life so miserable that it's a battle to make it through each day. I could move back to Junction to live with my best friend, but I don't want to change the kids' school only to change it again when we move out of state, which I am hoping is very soon. The few friends who know what's going on have all said I should just move out now, because changing schools may suck, but me being so depressed and angry is definitely worse for them. I tend to agree, but this whole situation sucks, and it will suck no matter what I decide. I'm selling pretty much all of my earthly belongings, because I can only take what I can fit in my truck, with 2 kids, a dog and a cat, since it doesn't have a tow hitch. That is supremely depressing, because after nearly 10 years on my own, I have acquired some nice things, and will have to start all over again. The plus side is I will be able to store the stuff I can't part with, but can't take, at Miah's, until (god knows when) I can come back and get it.

I've put in the SOS calls to all the appropriate people, my ex-husband is asking his parents for help, my grandmother is giving me whatever help she can, and Miah has gone so far above and beyond the call of duty that I would nominate him for sainthood if I could. I'm lucky enough to have a few people in this world who love me and my children unconditionally, but I don't know if that is going to be enough.

There is more going on, but that's the big stuff. Don't get me wrong, I made my mistakes in the relationship, and there were a lot of outside factors that really hurt us, but the bottom line is I fell for him, he didn't feel the same, and yet he let me totally screw myself and the kids by calling it quits right after we moved in, and went on vacation together. This has absolutely been the worst month of my entire life, and that's including a very difficult divorce and custody battle. Happy fucking birthday to me.

A record low

2008-08-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

It's official, I've hit a total record low. Lovely, entertaining thoughts of throwing myself off the dam. Now, before you (in the off chance someone stumbles upon this) go emailing me the suicide hotline number, I'm not actually going to do it, it's just a nice thought at this point. It seems that everything deserves more attention than I do. NCAA 2008 DEFINITELY gets more attention, I have to listen to how the computer-generated recruits respond to his recruiting, as in "Watch how this makes him smile!!" as he offers them a guaranteed championship. I get to listen to him ask the cat how he's doing, and offer snuggles to him, while he tells me he'll come to bed as soon as his week 1 of the game is over. It's 0120, he just got into bed to watch sportscenter, which DEFINITELY gets more attention than I do (I certainly don't get his undivided attention multiple times a day, and it's not me he wakes up to and falls asleep to), but I can't tell you the last time he stayed up until 0100 on a work night to just hang with me. I don't understand why he doesn't just kick me out, it would hurt less. I'm jealous of a cat, an Xbox game, and a TV show, because I don't even get a percentage of the attention he gives those things. I'm so fucking lonely, and so miserable, I just want to spend a year in bed, because my dreams are way more interesting than my miserable fucking life.

So many things that eat away at my mind...

2008-08-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

Where do I start? Isn't that always the hardest part... getting the ball rolling? Well, I'll start with the facts. I'm depressed. Genuine, bona fide depression, the kind that makes it hard to get out of bed each morning, and almost impossible to fall asleep each night. I'm already on anti-depressents, and they can't be adjusted, because I have no health insurance. So, I've resigned myself to just being miserable. It's going to get worse soon, because the fall always has that effect on me, I hate the cold weather and shorter days.

Why am I feeling this way? The reasons could take up an entire notebook, it seems. I won't sit here an list them, because it would only make me feel worse, but I figured I could get some things off my chest here, knowing the person behind them won't ever come here and read them...

I feel completely worthless lately. I moved in here with him because our plan to get a place in a new town didn't pan out, the stress of finding a place, new employment, making the move, and our trip to WI proved to be too much, and he offered to have us (the kids and me) move in here, rather than have a breakdown of astronomical proportions. I appreciated it, since I had moved out of my place in preparation of moving out of town, and basically had no where to go with my kids. In hindsight, these are horrible circumstances under which to move in together. To make matters worse, I quit my miserable job right before we went to WI, and haven't been able to find another yet. So the cycle goes, because I am so depressed I don't want to try, and even more depressed that I am not contributing to the household income.

Let's talk about the real issues since moving in together... the ones that are the underlying factor in every argument. I told him I love him, and he doesn't feel the same way. That's not really an issue, because he cares about me (or at least says he does) and I figure if the feelings are meant to happen, they will in their own time. The problem is he doesn't convey any emotions towards me, and it has made me completely self-conscious. I know it sounds stupid, but I just want him to tell me I look nice (he's only said that once in 6 months) or that he appreciates me, or I'm sexy, SOMETHING along the lines of a compliment. When I compliment him, I get no response, and I can't remember the last time I felt truly attractive or wanted.

We talked about it last night, because once again, I tried to come on to him, hoping he would show some interest in me, and it blew up in my face. He's tired, and we've been fighting, so he just wanted to get along for a day, I tried to entice him into sex, and humiliated myself. I put it all out there, explained that I didn't want sex so much as I wanted attention, told him how I was just dying for him to say something nice about me, even admitted that it was pathetic to have my self-esteem tied up with someone else, but that I couldn't help it. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. Imagine admitting to someone you care so much about that you have no self-esteem, and pretty much begging them to compliment you, pay attention to you, soothe you. I'm supposed to be this strong, independent woman, and I'm sniveling like a spoiled child.

I don't even like myself, how can I possibly make this man love me? I have been in relationships where the other person is constantly begging for attention, and always showering me with affection, and it's a huge turn-off. Yet now I understand why they were doing it... and I hate myself for doing the same thing. Of course, I don't see any solution, because the more pathetic I become, the less he is going to want to be with me, which will only make me more pitiful and desperate. Now I'd kill for the attention my exes lavished on me, which only makes me more humiliated... I'm an attention whore.

I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. It's like a great trainwreck that I cannot stop or even give warning about. I've wanted to be with him for so long, pretty much as long as I have known him. And now that I have him, I'm fucking it all up, and it's all out of control. To add insult to injury, he has a mind that never forgets a single fuck up, so even though he can move past my mistakes, I can't because I know he remembers every detail of them. Pity and self-loathing are the dishes of the day, and they make for horrible, bitter meals. It's no wonder I'm so depressed.

It's crazy, thinking, knowing that the world is round

2008-06-24T19:00:00.000-07:00

How to know I have no good title? When I resort to lyrics...

So, after over a year of not even opening this page, I decided it was time to start writing again. Mainly because I have thought about it multiple times, but lately I've had a severe increase in panic attacks, and writing was one way to keep that crazy under control. My life continues to be a roller coaster, and maybe that's the only way I know how to do it. My children are doing so well, on all fronts. They are these amazing creatures that make my heart burst and my brain spin, and somehow I know that even though they were born when I was so very young, it was the single best decision I have ever made. They are such a driving force, on days like today when I'm ready to throw in the towel, they become my reason for taking my next breath. They went to Nebraska Sunday night, and will stay there for the summer. If we get our plans figured out, they may stay with family for a few months, so I can leave Oz (I guess I will need a new title for this site, maybe I'll go back to my original one, "A Peek Into My Insanity"), and that is the most difficult decision I have ever made. It's really the only feasible way for me to go back East though, without being terribly disruptive to school and life for them. It's going to be amazingly hard though, I've never been away from them for very long, and lately time with them has gotten so precious, because soon they will hate me. That makes the thought of losing this time very painful.

So when I logged in today, I read my last few posts, and realized my boyfriend had made it to my blog long before we had ever even looked at each other as more than friends. I found that to be pretty cool, although it validates something he teased me about way before we got together... I did have a crush on him for a long time. We did end up going to that DMB show last year, and this year we are making what is almost a pilgrimage for us... we're going to East Troy, WI to see 2 days of DMB at Alpine Valley. It's not the Gorge, but it's as close as we will get right now. I could say a lot about him and what he means to me, but I'm almost afraid I'll jinx the whole thing.

Work... do I even want to go there? I guess I probably should, since it is currently the reason for about 97% of my stress. I left my old job because I just got tired of being treated like we didn't matter, the management staff was just treated like we were sub-human so much of the time. I went to a call center closer to my house, it has been the worst experience of my life. I would actually go back to being shit on at my old job (which is saying a lot) if I could. I was offered a position on a new team to work on a special new project. I was chosen along with 5 other people because we were the "best of the best" at what we do. Last week was the first week working on our new tasks, and by the end of the week I had inadvertently pissed off the rest of the group. So, all the tension led to me having a couple of panic attacks right on top of each other today, leaving work at lunch time, and I'm pretty sure I'm leaving the team on Monday.Considering one of the other people was a friend of mine, and she was the one the most upset with me, I texted her tonight to apologize and let her know I was stepping down because of it. She is a natural peacekeeper, and has been trying to tell me everything is ok, etc, but it's not. It just sucks all around, and makes me want to leave this state that much more.

I have a lot to say, it's just all swirling in my brain right now, so I'm sure I'll be posting quite a bit soon. Welcome back to my insanity...

And...

2007-04-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

I'm still not really doing anything write-able. Honestly, this blog has pretty much seen it's last days, there was a point in time where I had a bunch of regular readers, and now I have only a couple that stop by once in a while, thanks to my lack of writing and having to move my site because of the ex. I may just wait and see if the urge to write comes back, but I make no promises. I hope everyone is doing well, one of these days I'll log into bloglines, stop by, and catch up.

I hate moving!!

2007-04-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired of moving it's not even funny. And I get to do it all over again in 6 months! Ugh!!! The house we moved into has very little storage space, something my old house had plenty of, so I've tossed/donated/given away a ton of stuff, with more to go. Of course, it couldn't go smoothly, I can't get DirecTV installed at the new house, because there is no direct line of sight. Now I have to cancel my contract and sign up for cable, and I have no TV for Sopranos and Entourage tonight. I'll be watching it at a friend's house, provided I get the rest of the cleaning and moving finished.
On the relationship front, my ex-boyf has officially pissed me off. We've been on good terms through the break-up, and I've desperately wanted to keep our friendship together. It's kinda hard to do so when someone is constantly acting like the world revolves around him. I'm done caring so much for someone who cares so little for me, it's not worth it... The sad thing is my friends have been trying for months to point out that obvious fact, and I refused to see it. *sigh* Otherwise, life is good, I'm stressed out, but have been enjoying spending time with friends and I'm so ready for summer.

Yum!!

2007-04-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

I watched Jackass 2 last night, and I have to admit I have a huge crush on Bam Margera. Of course, I was watching it with a friend who was quick to point out that Bam got married. Still, those eyes... so gorgeous!!!
On a separate celebrity note, it's no big secret that I'm a huge fan of Dave Matthews Band. There is another manager at work that is also a huge fan, has seen more shows than I have, has about a million t-shirts, etc. We have a competition between our teams for stats, and I joked that I would bet him tickets to the next show. Well, I had missed the Warehouse announcement, they scheduled an August show in KS, the only one in this area. He told me just in time to go onto Warehouse and reserve my tickets before the early reserve period ended. Anyway, he brought a huge CD book to my office a few minutes ago, and it is filled with possibly the best collection of DMB EVER. I want this book!!!!
Ok, that is all.

Ouch!!

2007-04-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

So, I spent my Saturday evening with some friends, who had ordered crabs from Maryland. My hands are all kinds of cut up from the shells. Yeah, yeah, I know... cry me a river, right?
It was funny though, because we all work together, and the husband is actually one of my employees. They have great kids, all girls, and had been threatening them all week long with my presence, as in "You'd better clean up this house, Daddy's boss is coming over!!!" You gotta love that, I know I'd use it if given the chance. (Mental note: make plans to hang out with Jerry.)
Today was a ridiculous day at work. My team is great, we always have a good time, but on holidays there are often long periods of availability (no calls coming in) that leave us to entertain each other. This can be dangerous, and today it included people walking into walls, falling on the floor, laughing until we cried, and just generally acting quite unprofessional. I'm glad senior management is not in the building on weekends.
Last, I watched the season premier of Entourage, and will watch The Sopranos in and hour and a half (HBO west is great, since Sopranos and Desperate Housewives are conflicting on the DVR). I'm so hooked on all 3 shows, I can't believe Sopranos is ending! After this, it'll be hard to convince myself to pay for HBO just to see Entourage, no matter how much I love the show. Mmmmm, Adrian Grenier.

Hello!

2007-04-07T14:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the hiatus, it's been insane here. My ex-husband was sentenced to prison, reduced in rank and pay while in prison, and a bad conduct discharge, so things are finally over with that hellacious experience. Honestly, I look back through my archives, and see happy times, a person who was not the man I faced in court last week. It's depressing, because he had me so fooled, had so many people fooled. I spent a total of 21 hours over 2 days at his court martial, testifying multiple times and having to defend my credibility in front of senior-ranking officers. I'm glad it's over.
Life is busy here, the kids are still giving me a run for my money. We were on the way to the grocery store today when Madison said she wanted her black blanket. I told her no, it was at home, to which I got a resounding "Duuuhhhh!!!" Wait a minute. You're FOUR, you're not allowed to have that attitude! That kid is going to give me grey hair.
My laptop is screwed up, it's currently with a co-worker who does IT work, I'm hoping he can retrieve my data off of it if it needs to be formatted. There are all kinds of pictures on there that cannot be replaced, and I was too dumb to back up. I feel so naked without my laptop!!
Well, I need to get ready for a get-together with some friends, and get my house cleaned up. Fun stuff, I'm telling you... never a dull moment.

Again STICKY POST! Scroll down for new stuff!

2007-03-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

So, if you go make a donation and this charity is one of the 6 charities involved that receives the most donations between now and the end of March, Kevin Bacn's organization, SixDegrees, will match it every donation. Think about how much good that can do. MajorDad already has $800 raised, think about how much just that $800 will do, and how much more we can do by just donating $10 or $20 (or more) to this wonderful cause. Let's put a little perspective on life here... I spent $30 on a carton of cigarettes for the week. So, for something that can kill me, I'll pony up the money, what kind of jerk would I be if I didn't give some money for a GOOD cause? Before you buy that latte at Starbucks, or order in for lunch at work, consider skipping the indulgence, and making a difference in someone's life. The badge below is MajorDad's, so I'd like to see the donations rising!!

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Hey there

2007-03-23T01:40:00.000-07:00

I'm still alive, just been busy getting divorced, finding a new place to live, etc. It's been a long few weeks. The kids' are with their aunts in Nebraska, I don't know how their dad's sisters ended up in Nebraska (we're all from the East Coast), but I'm REALLY glad to have some of their family nearby. I was considering moving back to FL, but decided to stay here for a while longer, and am about to sign a lease on a house in the town where I work.
Ok, so one of the cool things about having this blog for the last 2.5 years is that I get cool stuff from time to time, to try out and review. So, I got a great package from Keri lotion, I'm really picky about my lotion, so I was hesitant when giving the new shea butter lotion a try. I must say it's awesome! I've been using it for about 2 weeks, and I'm a big fan. I used to use the 4 butter lotion from Bath and Body Works, and I have to say that the Keri is just as fab, and a third of the price.
The other was one of my favorite foods, cereal. Nature's Valley is about to release a cereal version of their yummy granola bars. I hate to admit it, but I ate the whole box in less than a week. By. Myself. Now I'm craving it, and it's not in stores yet, at least that I can find. Seriously, I'm going to buy out the store as soon as they are stocking it.

Ding, dong...

2007-03-17T00:51:00.000-07:00

The bastard is dead... at least to me. My divorce was finalized Thursday morning. It's funny, the divorce took less time than the courthouse wedding. So, after I testify against him in his court martial, that man will forever be out of my life, and my childrens'. So, as you can imagine, I'm celebrating tonight...

So...

2007-03-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

I'm in the middle of apartment/house hunting, and trying to get caught up on the rest of the things I've been putting off lately. Of course, the kids make life interesting. I dyed my best friend's hair, and the kids slept at her house since it was already bedtime when I started the dye job. The next morning, Mads woke up and said "Miss Tasha, is my mommy coming over?" Tash told her yeah, but not until after work. Her reply? "Well she needs to fix you're hair, it's yellow!!" Um, thanks Mads, what a compliment!
My poor boy has been sick, started complaining of a sore neck yesterday. He has a fever, too, so my first (over-reacting) thought was meningitis. Of course, I'm terrified to take him into the hospital, because they will need to do a spinal tap to check for it. I don't really think that's what it is, but what if?
Other than that, it's life as usual. This weekend is going to suck, because of the time change. I love knowing spring is around the corner, and warm weather is on the way, but the whole "spring forward" thing kills me.
One thing to look forward to is the KS NASCAR race (September), I'm planning on going again this year, with a co-worker. I was just beginning to think I wouldn't find anyone to go with, but he's never been to a race and wants to, so it's going to be my bday present to myself. YAY! Now I just need to stay healthy long enough to not eat all my sick and vaca time up.
I'll be posting soon with a couple reviews, since the cool free stuff fairies have bestowed a few nifty things upon me. A kick ass cereal, and some Keri lotion (I haven't tried that one yet, just got it today), I'm a happy girl.

Hectic

2007-03-05T21:53:00.000-08:00

Things are hectic right now to say the least. I'm going to be moving in a few weeks, so hunting for the right place is fun. *eyeroll* I'm actually going to have a roommate, which should be interesting. It works out well for both of us, but it's been a long time since I've lived with anyone I wasn't dating or related to.
Otherwise, it's been mostly work, trying to get healthy again (talk about a shitty month!), and other boring stuff that has left me with NOTHING to write about. I'll think of something soon, hopefully!

Mental Jukebox Selection

2007-03-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

Do It Anyway~ Martina McBride

You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin
One storm could come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You could chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all you heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk anyway
love em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singin'
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yeah sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love anyway

Something about this song struck me, and it's been stuck in my head all evening. I guess it's a good reminder to keep pushing through all the hard times in life, though.

Normalcy

2007-02-28T20:19:00.000-08:00

I hadn't been in my house 10 minutes tonight when the MP investigators were knocking at my door. They are looking to violate asshat on his bail, and a few other things, as well as telling me to get a restraining order so he'll have to hand over his handgun. I found his site, and his girlfriend's, which were created with the sole purpose of bashing me. It's funny, because they claim I denied being married (albeit separated) and dating someone else. And they are so certain I'm not single, I'm lying to all of you to get sympathy, and I've made up all of the harassment stuff. So, I'm amused by their hypocritical crap, and how absolutely ridiculous they are. I've wasted enough of my site's space on him, I'll only be posting on him from here on out if there is a major change.
So, today was a rather strange day. Every manager freaks out on the last day of the month, because we have quotas that have to be met. This month, I was done already, so I spent part of the day at the dentist, and the other part just doing random stuff. I have a to-do list sitting on my desk for tomorrow, to tie up loose ends before the weekend, but really, I was one of the only relaxed people around today. The pain meds didn't hurt, I'm sure, everyone kept commenting on my good mood, which may have been affected by the painkillers the dentist had given me.
I'm really happy with most of my life right now. I certainly wish the drama with my ex was over, and justice was served there, and of course, I'm still a bit heartbroken over B, but in general life isn't so bad. A week or so ago I couldn't say that, but I've realized this week that I have good friends, a good job, 2 healthy kids, and the basic things I need in life. That's not such a bad deal.

And that's done...

2007-02-27T22:47:00.000-08:00

I just went through over 275 post that had tags on them that would be easily Googled. I'm SO glad that the tags weren't on all of my posts, because I'm nearing 1K. In the meantime, my new digs may not be as nice as my old ones, and my sidebar is sadly bare, but it will have to do for now. My privacy was being violated, and I was getting cruel and harassing comments thanks to my soon-to-be-ex-husband. I'll be re-vamping the site soon, and hopefully now that I'm not censoring myself, I'll be posting more. In the meantime, I never got to post pictures of my first NASCAR race, because I didn't want to piss the STBEH off. I got to attend the Kansas City race last October, and sit 12 rows off turn 4. It was an awesome time, Kasey was on the pole, although he spun out right in front of us with about 6 laps to go. I even got to drag B's Yankee ass along, to everyone's surprise.

Jeff Gordon being pushed behind the wall

The starting line, pre-race

Dale Jr walking to his racecar

Kasey on the pole!

Just an update edited

2007-02-26T07:14:00.000-08:00

You'll notice that the comments by my ex-husband (and people claiming to just be posting from his house, apparently he has lots of roommates, or multiple personalities) have been deleted. His IP address has also been banned, since there are already pending harassment charges against the moron who doesn't understand the concept of "Don't contact me." I am working with his unit and the military police to stop the harassment, but I am likely moving my site to another address soon. If I decide to do so, you will need to email me for the link, or leave a comment here with your email address letting me know you would like the new link. I apologize for that inconvenience, and hope those of you who I've gotten to know here will continue to read my new site.

The definition of harassment, for those too stupid to understand it.

**Edited: If you post an anonymous comment, regardless of content, it will be deleted. I'm tired of this bullshit. And to the anon who left the comment about me having a boyfriend, actually, I do not, I'm quite single. You're buddy Nate, however, has been seeing a pothead named Courtney for quite some time, and is screwing around with a few other people. So before you attack me, get the facts right. And if you have something to say about my parenting, say it to my face. You obviously know enough about me to know where I live, so you are welcome to be an adult and stand behind your words. Otherwise, don't bother, because your comments will not be approved on this site.

Drama, Drama, Drama

2007-02-24T22:05:00.000-08:00

My life is full of it, never a dull moment. It's getting old, and god knows I'll be glad to be rid of it. No wonder I'm so exhausted, who wouldnt be? But, I have some wonderful friends, both IRL, and online, that have been so great, so concerning, and for that I'm grateful.
Tonight was one of those mommy moments that made me feel like maybe I can do this after all. The power went out on the whole block during story time. My best friend lives a street away, and called to see if it was the whole neighborhood, which it was. The kids had opened all of the glowsticks I had for power outages, so it was emergency candles and my cell phone to light the way. My son was distraught, he's afraid of the dark, so I crawled into bed with him, and my princess on the other side of me, and we all fell asleep. Every once in a while, they are so cute it makes me think I might survive parenthood.

Again, please go to MajorDad's, and contribute to this very worthy cause. If you doubt for one moment the importance behind this fund, take a look at the conditions in Walter Reed, the most prestigious name in Army medicine, and how many of our soldiers leave medical care with the bare minimum of tools needed to survive after their war injuries.

Hey, I'm alive!!

2007-02-24T08:26:00.000-08:00

I'm recovering, and am able to actually have some kind of social life now, as well as get my house together, and spend time with my kids other than laying on the couch while they watch movies. That's a vast improvement.
I just found out one of my good friends had an emergency appendectomy in Kuwait. Poor thing, she's had the worst year, a broken foot that took the better part of a year to heal, then as soon as she was cleared to start running again, a broken toe. Then, just before she headed north into Iraq, wakes up with appendicitis. Yuck!! But she's fine, as far as I can tell, and will be back in action in a couple weeks. I think all of the Catholic medallions her roommate has might be better served handed over to her! His family had a medallion for just about every Saint who is remotely involved with military or dangerous work blessed and sent to him, to the point that he joked he couldn't accept any more, he'd be weighted down by religion. Pass those along to Meegs, B, she needs all the protection she can get!
On that note, head over to MajorDad's and DONATE to the Soldier's Angels fund. They provide voice activated laptops for soldiers who have lost the use of their hands. I only ask y'all to donate to a case about once a year, so take a moment, be generous, and make a difference in the lives of soldiers who made a huge sacrifice for your freedoms.

So...

2007-02-21T19:09:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty much still out of commission, becuase I'm more exhausted than I ever thought possible, and that includes having twin infants. Other than trying to sleep every chance I get, I've been working my ass off to get caught up, and dealing with a bunch of other drama in life. Nothing too interesting to write about. The kids are doing well, keeping me on my toes as usual.
How about some news? Marcia Cross (Bree Van DeKamp on Desperate Housewives) gave birth to twin girls. They weren't due until April, but are reported to be doing fine. Hopefully she'll be back on the show soon. Of course, we all know CrazyBritney shaved her head and checked into rehab again, then out again. Apparently, rehab is a one day process. There is still a ton of violence in Iraq, particularly Baghdad, which scares the hell out of me since a lot of my friends will be in Baghdad soon. The KS senate passed an anti-picketing law for funerals, in response to the asshat church whose members were protesting at military funerals. The world's youngest preemie went home, born at just under 22 weeks gestation. So, there you go, caught up on news for now.

Update

2007-02-12T16:47:00.000-08:00

I'm doing somewhat better tonight, thanks to lots of pain meds, antibiotics, and anti-nausea medication. Of course, being completely knocked out on the pain meds, the kids took full advantage of my state, and destroyed the house. I am really NOT looking forward to all of the cleaning it will take just to get the house acceptable. In the meantime, I'm just watching Entourage, and having crazy "morphine dreams". (I'm not actually on morphine anymore, but the crazy dreams still persist.)

This post is brought to you by the letter "K"...

2007-02-11T19:40:00.000-08:00

K is for "kidneys". Mine are infected. Let's talk about how much fun THAT is. I'd been having back pain for about a week, but assumed it was just a pinched nerve or something. I never put 2 and 2 together that it got worse when I drank alcohol Thursday night, because that night I couldn't sleep, and chalked it up to stress over my friends' deployment. So, I went out last night, had a couple drinks, let a friend of mine sleep on my couch, and went to bed. I woke up in so much pain I couldn't breathe, ended up calling Tassi into my room to help me, and having to call 911. Luckily, the kids were at the sitters, because I ended up being taken to the ER, having all kinds of tests run, getting morphine, and zonking out. They were going to admit me, then decided to treat me outpatient, as long as I can keep my fever and pain under control. Not sure how well that's going to work, because I have a fever and pain again tonight. This bites.

Who do I have to kill...

2007-02-10T18:10:00.000-08:00

To get some GD Sudafed. The REAL kind, not the PE crap they sell now. I had some that a friend of mine got at sick call (so they still make it, because the Army hands it out), and it's the only thing that has allowed me to breathe in days, but I'm out. So, I go to my trusty PX, because it's the closest thing that is open, and NO GO. All of the pharmacies that keep it behind the counter and require a DNA sample to obtain a single dose are closed, so I'll be suffering through without it. Stupid M(=th heads, I REALLY hate your drugg!e asses for making this wonderful medicine so impossible to obtain.

We Were Soldiers... Once and Young

2007-02-10T01:17:00.000-08:00

I had watched "We Were Soldiers" shortly before my first husband was deployed to Iraq with the 4th Infantry Division at the beginning of the Iraq conflict/war/disaster-in-the-making. I remember crying my eyes out, thinking about what our soldiers faced heading into this hellish battle, in a country that resents our presence, and praying to every god in the universe that I wouldn't have to bury anyone I cared about. Over the past 4 years, I've done this more times than I can count, and rarely have I had to lay a friend to rest. I've been lucky. Why am I bringing this up? Because once again, my friends have departed for the middle east, and I'm watching that same movie, praying that each of them make it home safe. For the first time, I wish I was going with them, I wish I was fighting along side them, because at least if I were there I wouldn't be sitting here feeling helpless. Miss you guys, I can't wait to be buying rounds at Porter's next year. Be safe.

YouTube

2007-02-04T21:05:00.000-08:00

It's like the black hole of the internet, you can't help but get sucked in! I just lost an hour of my life to that damn site, watching some stupid videos made by a couple of roommates in NYC. How does that happen? I originally went there to see Paula Abdul's drunk interviews, since I missed them, and was tired of hearing about them, and after an hour had to force myself to leave the page. It's a good thing YouTube is banned at work, or I'd never get anything done!!

WTF

2007-01-31T16:02:00.000-08:00

I've been blogging for over 2 years now, and NEVER had a problem with spam comments until I turned on comment moderation. Now I'm getting all kinds of crazies, most recently a rant about baseball and steroids. Um, ok, sure.

Aloha!

2007-01-28T21:30:00.000-08:00

So, I took a weekend trip to Hawaii to see a friend of mine that I hadn't seen in almost 7 years. I must say, Hawaii is the most beautiful place I've ever seen, and 2.5 days there is NOT enough, even if you're just staying on Oahu. I'll probably go back in the early spring, because it was just painful to leave so soon... if not for the kids and work I wouldn't have gotten back on the plane!! I'm uploading pictures now, and it's taking forever because there are about 200 high res pics (and a couple short videos) from my trip. I'll make a slideshow out of them, and just post some of the best here.

Lava rocks off the beach at North Shore, where the big surf competitions are.

North Shore

North Shore

I can't remember the name of this little island, but we had to go through the tunnel in the next pic to get there.

This tunnel goes through the mountain

Honolulu and a big mountain, I forget it's name, from the top of a hill near Schofield Barracks

Honestly, the pictures don't do it justice. I'm going to have to upgrade my Flickr and Photobucket albums to Pro to show the really beautiful shots, and make slideshows of the entire album. It really was an amazing trip, I can't wait to go back!!!

My new header

2007-01-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

Thanks to MajorDad, who adjusted my template to reflect my current status.What do you think?? Well done, MD!!

And that is quite enough of the bullshit...

2007-01-19T15:47:00.000-08:00

The posts are coming down, because I do not feel my site deserves to have such bullshit posted/commented on here. Thank you to all of you who have shown support, I appreciate it. I know what really happened, and as much as my ex doesn't want to admit to it, he does as well. I'm going to be moderating comments from now on, in order to protect a few people who are innocent in all of this mess... Sadly enough, most of his family are good people, my children and I loved them like our own, but it's not my place to make them see their son/brother for who he has become. The dissolution of my marriage is not something I ever wanted to happen, but these things do, and unfortunately the ones who suffer the most are the kids. I'm tired of hearing them talk about Nate going to jail, and when can they see Oma and Opa and Ducky. It's painful, and shouldn't be something that is publicly drawn out, however some people want to force that issue. One of our friendly anon's is Nate or his girlfriend, to which I will remind them there is a no contact order, and I'm going to take the screen shots of the IP addresses and comments to the city attorney. They other is obviously his cousin. I have banned a few IP addresses from commenting, so if you leave a comment, know that I would normally approve you, and don't see it on here, please email me, and I will make sure you weren't accidentally banned.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming!!!

A man after my own heart...

2007-01-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

And I quote...
"Hey I gotta run out real quick to the class six I need to pick up some Jager for ya! It's on sale!"
Thrifty, prepared in advance, AND knows what I drink. LOL!!

Fairy Tale

2007-01-15T15:39:00.000-08:00

Life isn't a fairy tale, things don't always work out happily ever after... or do they? I'm going to be a bit mysterious right now, all I can say is life just got very interesting, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here. Suddenly, one of my favorite lines from a song makes even more sense. "It's crazy, I
'm thinking, just knowing that the world is round, and here I'm dancing on the ground. Am I right side up, or up-side down, is this real, or am I dreaming?"

"I do not have to tell you who won the war. You know, the artillery did."~ Patton

2007-01-15T02:06:00.000-08:00

You'll know if this is meant for you.
You are pathetic. So much so that it's funny. "You can't spell FAG without the FA!!", what a BRILLIANT my*space screenname. Just remember, he didn't take anything from you, you gave it up...

Because I AM that bored

2007-01-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

Stolen from Melanie, a little horoscope game...

It's about as accurate as MASH, but it was cute.

Chinese Horoscope
1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.

2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?

3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.

4. WRITE ANYONES NAME next to 4, 5, & 6.

5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11

6. Finally, MAKE A WISH

1. 16
2. 3
3. Brian
4. Tasha
5. Madison
6. Erinn
7. Shane
8. Lover Lay Down
9. Promiscuous Girl
10. What Hurts the Most
11. She's Everything

ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME

1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in SPACE 2
3

2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE
Brian, and this is true, in a way

3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7
Shane, our relationship is typical parent/child, and has it's stressors, but Brian would be a more appropriate answer here

4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4
Tasha, and she is one of my best friends

5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.
Maddie, and I doubt she knows me best

6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR LUCKY STAR
Erinn? Ok.

7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3
Lover Lay Down, it's appropriate

8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7
Soemhow, this doesn't fit for my son...

9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND
OMG, that's dead on...

10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE
This is how I WISH someone felt about me.

11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER
16 is my lucky number, for reasons I can't explain.

So how was your horoscope…did it get any right?

The new tat

2007-01-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

Here it is, it's on the inside of my right forearm.

The trinity knot is shaded blue, and the heart pink, I would take a better pic, but my camera needs to be charged. The story behind it is it's next to a scar (left side of the pic) that I got this summer. The summer meant a lot to me, I learned a lot about myself, and how to trust again. I wanted a Celtic tattoo that meant something to me (I'm half Irish), and since the Claddagh worn on the right with the heart facing out signifies an open heart, this seemed an appropriate reminder to always go through life with an open heart. So, there you have it...

Tattoo V4.2

2007-01-09T19:14:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking about getting another tattoo this weekend, which isn't surprising since I generally get a tat, piercing, or make a drastic change when life is changing. Of course, I hesitate, because it's going to be in a spot I normally wouldn't consider for a tattoo on a woman. And no, I'm not telling, unless I get it, in which case I'll post a pic.

The joys of management

2007-01-08T21:58:00.000-08:00

I have officially had my team for 2 days now, and it's been interesting so far. Getting all of my permissions adjusted to access programs, and keeping tabs on 18 (soon to be 19) people is a pain in the ass. Still, I'm enjoying the challenge, and the distraction from my personal life is helpful right now.

The kids are doing great, although they still like to be terrors from time to time. I still haven't taken down my Christmas decorations, partially because I've been busy, and partially because I can't bear to right now. Hopefully they'll be down by spring. :)

Its De-lurking week, so I promise to stop by and leave a comment this week, as soon as I get some time.

Mental Jukebox selection

2007-01-05T17:29:00.000-08:00

Song for the Dumped~ Ben Folds Five (anyone remember them? They were insanely popular back when I was in high school)

So you wanted to take a break
Slow it down some and
Have some space
Well fuck you, too
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You bitch
I want my money back
(And don't forget to give me back my black T-Shirt)

Wish I hadn't bought you dinner
Right before you dumped me
On your front porch
Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You bitch
I want my money back
And don't forget...
And don't forget.

(Don't read into it too much, it's been amicable so far.)

Book reviews

2006-12-27T17:01:00.000-08:00

I've been tearing through novels like crazy lately, and finished another one last night. The last two I read were Jonathan Kellerman novels, Rage, and A Cold Heart. Rage had a disappointing ending, in my opinion, but A Cold Heart was great. The only thing I dislike about Kellerman's "Alex Deleware" series is it is very similar to James Patterson's "Alex Cross" series, and even more like Stuart Woods' "Stone Barrington" series. I think Patterson and Woods do a better job on bringing the characters and the stories together, but Kellerman's are decent reads. I've read at least 5 of Woods' novels since November, and he is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. Oh, and Cross, by James Patterson is excellent! I'm probably a bit biased there, since I've been waiting for years to find out who killed Maria Cross, but I was pleased with the way the story wrapped up. It did have a feel of finality to it, like this may be the end of the "Alex Cross" novels, but only time will tell. I've exhausted a decent amount of B's library, but have already warned him that I'm adopting his books while he's in Iraq. The great part about having similar tastes is we can just trade off when we finish a book, so whenever he's away for a period of time I can just snag a few from his bookcase, and get lost in the books. So, read any good books lately? Got any recommendations?

Expect them sometime around Valentine's Day

2006-12-27T16:25:00.000-08:00

If you're on my Christmas card list, please don't hold your breath. I've still got to pick up the pictures from Wal*mart, and get them mailed, so you will DEFINITELY receive them by next Christmas, but I make no promises for anything earlier.

And when I should be doing something productive, I'm going to do a meme instead. Stolen from Lisa...

(I’ve done the bolded items)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game/event
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper (Had two of them in diapers at the same time!)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends Still have them
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach (The sand on Jupiter Beach in FL glitters when you kick it at night)
50. Gone sky diving (I booked my jump, and 4 weeks in a row it was postponed for weather, I took that as a sign)
51. Visited Ireland (I want to!!)
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karoke (see drunk on champagne)
59. Lounged around in bed all day (Some of my fave days!!)
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married (2x)
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced (about to be again. :( )
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo (Three of them)
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason (not nearly enough though!)
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date (The last time I remember wondering "Is he ever going to kiss me?" I'd about given up!)
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children (working on it still)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour (no but I want to!)
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback (PTSD is a bitch.)
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears (technically 3x)
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Para sailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair (only for the past 12 years)
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident (a minor one)
150. Saved someone’s life (How about italics here, a few close calls, my daughter, my ex, I didn't save them, but I called 911 and provided care until the medics arrived. Ironically enough, someone saved mine, quite literally)

Christmas Photos

2006-12-21T04:22:00.000-08:00

As promised, here are the pictures for Christmas this year. Shane is going to be a big guy, they don't even look like twins anymore, Madison just looks like a little pixie!

And me and my munchkins together...

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Last minute shopping?

2006-12-21T04:08:00.000-08:00

Are you still trying to figure out what to get that hard to shop for person for the holidays?? Best Buy has a cool new tool to help you find the perfect gift. It's called the "Wow Factor Finder", you enter some information and it helps you pick out a gift that will really "WOW!" your loved ones. Believe me, after the trouble my friend Meegan and I went through picking out gifts for our boyfriends, I wish I had known about this sooner! (Men DEFINITELY have it easier, you can never go wrong with jewelry!) Check out the FAQs, great gift-giving suggestions, and they even compare how men shop differently than women, along with things retailers are doing to make shopping fun and easy for both sexes. The even have live chats to help you out, there is one for the Friday after Christmas in case youre still trying to figure out how to work your new gadgets. The only thing missing is an actual human to be your personal shopper, but at Best Buy shopping around is half the fun. Enjoy!!

PS: Case in point, I received a gorgeous pair of earrings to match the necklace I got for my birthday. Aren't they to die for?

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Finally...

2006-12-21T01:31:00.000-08:00

An update of some sort...
Thank you all for your get well wishes, it was just a 24 hour bug for me, poor Mads was sick for 3 days or so. Shane must have a Fort Knox-esque immune system, because everyone (the sitter, her kids, me, and Maddie) else got sick, and that boy was just fine, eating like there was no tomorrow. I've been busy at work, plus last-minute Christmas shopping, and trying to sleep every once in a while. Tonight is going to be an all-nighter, because we had some drama at work while I was manager on duty, so I'm fairly wired, and have a TON of gifts to wrap, laundry to finish, and stuff to put away so I can actually take a break this weekend. Of course, a meeting all day tomorrow (or today, actually), and then a shift until 0130, I'm going to be one CRANKY mommy on Friday. I've promised the kids some good old-fashioned spoiling, including a movie and pretty much anything else they want to do to make up for me only seeing them an hour or two a day for the last couple weeks. Of course, I still haven't had the satellite repaired, because you actually have to be HOME in order to do so, so I think we'll be spending a lot of time away from the house to keep them entertained.
B teases me about being an eletronics geek (ok, so maybe I am...), but I think the kids' electronics have officially gotten out of control. They already have the VSmile system, the handheld VSmile systems, My First LeapPads, and now my grandmom has gotten them the Leapster handhelds as well. Oh, and the portable DVD player, TV/DVD combo in the playroom, and even the StoryReader electronic books. Who knew pre-schoolers could be so high-tech?! Thank god for rechargable batteries.
Speaking of God, it's no secret that I'm not religous, although I was raised in the church. My family is Methodist, but the kids' father and Nate's family are all Catholics. I swore I wouldn't raise my children Catholic, but I'm actually reconsidering that stance, and thinking about starting them in the church studies. They were going to a non-denominational church with Tasha (their sitter/second mommy), but her husband wasn't happy with that church, so they stopped going. I'm not sure if raising them Catholic means I have to have them baptised (christened, whichever), or if I have to convert, but I think it's time they learn about their family's beliefs. Anyone know how all of that works? Do you just pick a church and enroll them? It almost feels hypocritical to teach them something I don't truly believe in, but I made up my mind before they were born that I would make sure they learned about God and Christianity, and then be given the opportunity to make their own decisions later, just as I did.
On a lighter note, I am seriously upset by the Sixers trading Allen Iverson. I know that's what he wanted, but he would have stayed in Philly if they hadn't thrown away their championship-caliber 2001 team, and self-destructed as a team. I am officially no longer a Philadelphia 76ers fan... GO NUGGETS! Of course, it'll be interesting to see how Carmelo Anthony and AI get along, it's always touchy to have 2 superstars on the same team, and AI is used to being the brightest star on the court. Now I'm just crossing my fingers that he can get a championship ring on his hand before he retires, it's be a damn shame for a player of his caliber to never see that trophy.
Well, I'm off to chip away at my to-do list, and prepare for the longest day imaginable. I hope everyone is having a good week, and that you are all surrounded by those you love over the holidays. I'll post the pictures I took for our Christmas cards later, it's amazing how much the kids have grown since last year!!

Filed In: Daily Insanity

To those taking bets...

2006-12-16T12:59:00.000-08:00

House wins, it was just a stomach flu. And bite your tongues.

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Famished, sick, and utterly exhausted.

2006-12-11T22:34:00.000-08:00

Well, some of those apply to me, and some to my kids. I got the call this morning that Madison was sick with a stomach bug, and might need to go to the ER because she couldn't hold anything down. I *still* struggled to get up, I've been exhausted lately and just not sleeping well. I went to the sitters, took her to the ER, where she was just fine, and then came back home to let her rest for a while. Poor baby hadn't had any sleep, so when we were at the hospital she was out cold, and was still pretty lethargic the rest of the afternoon. I, on the other hand, was famished, I have no idea why I was so hungry, but I felt like eating everything in sight. It's bad when you're falling asleep waiting on the doctors in the ER, and dreaming about food. Luckily, she's doing just fine, she held down the popscicle and pedialite they gave her, so she was spared the anit-nausea meds. So, come home, pig out, fall asleep with Maddie, get up, give her a bath, and it's back to the sitters, so I can head to work for a couple hours. I came home from work, decided to go for a short run, and am now wondering if I'm ever going to improve my stamina. Over the late summer, early fall I was running almost a mile without stopping to walk. I stopped running for a while, and now I can't even run 2 full blocks without my lungs feeling like they are about to jump out of my chest, kick me in the face, and walk off on their own. It's pitiful, and as much as I'd love to be a runner, it's never been a strong point for me, even when I played sports all the time and didn't smoke. Oh well, I'm off to snack on something, and go to bed.

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Seriously?

2006-12-10T23:11:00.000-08:00

It's mid-December... did you get that memo? Because I don't know about you, but I am NOT ready for this!! I haven't finished shopping yet, I don't even know what to buy for my little rugrats who have everything, or a couple other people on my list. I have to take Christmas photos this week, like TOMORROW, for my kids and my best friend's kids, so we can get cards out ASAP. Oh, and I'm working odd schedules for the rest of the year, until I get official position the first week of January or so. Of course, 2 weeks after I get my team, I'm taking a long weekend to LA, so something tells me my laptop will be coming with. *sigh* Time is going way too fast.

So, have you finished your holiday to-do list? Are you prepared for the holidays, or running around frantically like I am?

psst... you'll soon see a new and improved look around here, so stay tuned for the blog makeover!

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Pictures from this weekend

2006-12-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

I don't have very many, unfortunately, because my camera was too bulky for my purse. There were people taking pictures at the actual ball itself, and I'll get copies of those, but this series cracks me up. We went to our normal bar afterwards, and this is doing a round with one of the bartenders.

How to scare the daylights out of me...

2006-11-27T20:14:00.000-08:00

I came home today to find my DishNetwork is not working. Uh, this means no local channels, no satellite channels, NO DORA, NO DIEGO, NO FREAKING BACKYARDIGANS!!! The SOONEST they can come out to fix it is Monday, yes NEXT Monday. I may just die. Not to mention I have Desperate Housewives and Entourage to DVR, and I can't do that without service. I can't even WATCH DH without service. I think I'll go cry now.

Filed In: Daily Insanity

A Different Christmas poem

2006-11-26T13:19:00.000-08:00

I've come across this twice today, once in an email, and again at MajorDad's, so I thought I would post it as well.

A Different Christmas Poem By Michael Marks

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done, For
being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret, "
Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.

Filed In: Dogtags and Combat Boots

Pictures, as promised

2006-11-26T12:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I attempted to retrieve pictures off my digital, since soem of you had asked for updated pictures of the kids, but both cameras are currently dead. The one that has pictures on it just will not work, no matter what I do, which pisses me off since I've only had it since September. My Canon's charger died, so until I get the one I ordered in, I have no access to that either. Anyway, I have one decent picture from Halloween, so here you go.

As you can see, Maddie's hair is finally growing back in. I will take pictures with my phone later today, and post them. We were at the zoo for Trick-or-treating, and they had a blast, but keeping them in one spot long enough to take a picture was nearly impossible. I'm going to be VERY upset if I can't get my Vivitar working again, because there are quite a few pictures of my kids on there. And it goes without saying that they are the last ones to have their hands on it, so it's probably in electronics heaven now. *sob* I should get a bunch from this week, because they were visting their aunts in NE, hopefully I'll get those by the end of the week.

I also promised pictures from my birthday party, so here ya go...

Me and one of our hosts, Mike

Mike the Pilot and me, it was his birthday too. **note: gorgeous necklace was one of my bday gifts, love it!**

Ryan, MTP, and Tasha

Me, Pat, and Meegs, they are so cute... and yeah, this was towards the end of the night.

This party was an interesting night, to say the least. It will probably be a long time before we allow certain people to mix their own drinks, after the debauchery of that night.

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Big surprise

2006-11-21T19:59:00.000-08:00

I laughed when these results popped up, because I really do have the Philly accent. It's not like any other East Coast accent, and there is a huge difference from South Jersey/Philly to Central Jersey/Lehigh Valley to North Jersey/NYC. B grew up about 40 miles north of my hometown, and our accents are totally different, and neither one of us has that "Josiey" thing going on. I'll take my Phildelphian accent over that any day.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: Philadelphia Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.
The Midland
The Inland North
The South
The Northeast
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Germ factories

2006-11-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

The kids seem to have brought home some kind of plague, and I'm paying the price. TheraFlu is some nasty stuff, in case you were wondering. I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck, twice. If anyone needs me, I'll be sweating out this fever, and praying for death.

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Meme

2006-11-12T00:32:00.000-08:00

Blame Nicole for this one...
10 first

First best friend - Nicole Harris
First car - 2001 Lexus RX300
First love - probably Zach Devenny
First vacation - Either Cape Cod, or Boynton Beach, FL. My grandparents had houses in both places most of my life, so I travelled a lot as a baby.
First job - Working at my family's deli, Nixon's General Store
First piercing - my ears when I was a baby, and a bunch of times as a child... they kept closing up
First concert - Bush at the Civic Centre in Philly (Razorblade Suitcase tour, Veruca Salt opened)
First record/cd bought - Probably Skid Row
First real love - IDK, honestly.

9 latest
Latest alcoholic beverage - Um, either a UV Blue Lemonade or a Sex on the Beach
Latest car ride - to Walmart, ugh!!
Latest movie watched - The Wild
Latest phone call made - Tasha
Latest jacuzzi bath - probably in 2001
Latest played cd - a burned mix
Latest time you cried - either yesterday or the day before, I had a total breakdown
Latest meal - I can't say I've had an actual meal today (B will bitch at me when he reads that!!), so Chinese last night??
Latest curse - Fuck!!

8 have you ever

dated one of your best friends - yes
been arrested - yes
fallen in love at first sight - no
been in a TV program - I don't think so
had your heart broken - yeah, who hasn't?
said you love someone without meaning it - no
made a prank phone call - yeah

7 things you wear

1. t-shirts
2. jeans
3. hoodie
4. fleece pants
5. watch
6. necklace or dogtags
7. undies

6 things you've done today

1. Hit snooze one too many times
2. Made lunches and packed clothes for the kids
3. Rushed to work
4. Worked all day
5. Talked to Tasha for a while
6. Surfed around on the web

5 favorite things

1. My kids (although they make me want to throw myself in traffic most days)
2. My friends
3. Laptop
4. Camera
5. My hoodie (yeah, I've officially claimed it, never getting it back *wink* )

4 people I can tell anything
1. Tasha
2. Bobbie
3. Brian
4. Meegan

3 choices

Black or white? Black
Summer or winter? Summer
Chocolate or chips? Chocolate

2 things to do before you die

1. Get my undergrad and Masters
2. Raise my children to be productive members of society

1 thing you regret
no regrets

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Randoms

2006-11-11T23:55:00.000-08:00

First, I log into Bloglines for the first time in a couple weeks. No big suprise here, over 2000 feeds that are unread. Wow, talk about behind, that's so far gone you might as well just start over!! So, I read a couple, make some comments, let people know I'm alive. If I haven't gotten to you, I will, bear with me. Now, CMHL... honey, your site and my computer do not get along. I don't know what it is about your site, but it freezes my browser, and crashes the whole damn thing every time I try to access it. I love you, but will never be able to comment. Sorry!!!! Now, I'm back to the trenches, hopefully I'll be caught up before my 30th birthday. Speaking of which, I have some pictures to post from my 24th birthday party back in September. That was an interesting night, one which I will address at a later date. ;)

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Non-stop

2006-11-11T21:58:00.000-08:00

I have been going non-stop for the last two weeks, and it's finally kicking my ass. If anyone can figure out how to add a couple more hours to the day, please let me know, because 24 isn't cutting it. I've been pulling overtime every chance I get, but it means feeling like I'm never home, and my kids now live at the sitter. It's worth it in the end, because Christmas is coming up, but I'm tired!! I've got an interview for team manager on Monday, I'm hoping I'm not dead by then. Honestly, I feel like the house is a wreck, and I can't muster the energy to care, it's terrible.
Other than working way too much, I've been busy with the kids, and trying to have a little fun along the way. I swear I have a million things that I think of to write about, and by the time I sit down to type it up, I've forgotten. So, in the interest of seeing if anyone is still reading, I'm opening up the comments for open questions. Anything you have ever wanted to know, go ahead and ask, you'll PROBABLY receive an honest answer. Want pictures of something? Ask, and ye shall receive. I need something to get me posting again, so this seems like a good way to do so. That said, ask away!!!

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Tides of change

2006-11-07T21:00:00.000-08:00

Things are looking good for the Democratic party... so far we have a nice lead in the House, tied in the Senate, and as for KS, we are now a "BLUE" state for Governor, with no real results in on the Congress races. I am beaming looking at the breakdown so far, because a lot of traditionally "red" states in the mid-west are now "blue". It appears that Bush and Co. have driven their party into the ground. I hope this continues into 2008, and we can rid ourselves of this ridiculous administration (Obviously we'll be rid of Dubya, but do we want to get stuck with another moron like him??) and anyone affiliated with it. I love elections time, and am slightly obsessed with the up-to-the-minute interactive maps right now.

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Vote

2006-11-05T18:18:00.000-08:00

Elections are Tuesday. Go vote. It takes a few minutes of your time, and makes a big impact on our government. I'll be at the polls before work, come hell or high water.
I'm one of of VERY few Democrats in my family, I was raised thinking the Republican party was the only party, and there was simply no other option. I called my grandmom to ask if I could vote this time, even though I didn't make it to the primaries. I mentioned my party affiliation, I think she still can't come to terms with her own flesh and blood being a Blue party member. :)

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Halloween, Insanity-style

2006-10-31T16:33:00.000-08:00

I have completely dropped the ball this year with decorating and other Halloween stuff. I managed to get some of my decorations up this weekend, and took the kids to the local zoo on Sunday for trick-or-treating. Tonight they had trick-or-treating at the PX, but between work and dinner, there was no way we were making it in time. We won't even mention the unpainted pumpkins that are sitting on my counter... I've been meaning to let them decorate them, but haven't made it to pick up the paints. So, to make up for my lame mommy-move of cancelling Halloween tonight, I'm going to do something special for them this weekend. I'd get them dressed up now, but NO ONE on my street has their lights on, indicating they are all either out with their kids, or not handing out candy. It's cold, I can't wait for the day the kids are old enough to beg for candy without supervison. Happy Halloween!!

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Entertainment review

2006-10-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

So, I'm one of those people who hasn't seen any movie you bring up. Conversations tend to go like this. "Have you seen XYZ?" Nope. "How about ABC?" Nope. "Really??? EVERYONE has seen that!!!" Nope not me.
You get the idea... movies are generally not my thing. Anyway, Deuce brought over a bunch, one I had seen (Crash), one I had attempted to watch, and didn't follow (Munich), and a few others I hadn't seen yet. We ended up watching "The Notebook", which I really enjoyed, even though I teared up at the end. My great-grandmother had Alzheimers, and that story really struck a chord with me.
We also watched "The Producers", which was hilarious. I normally wouldn't watch a musical, but Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick are awesome in this, and it had me cracking up. I'll always see Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller in my mind, no matter how old he gets, but this was a different role for him, and he did it fabulously.

Now, onto book reviews. I've read 4 Stuart Woods novels in the past two weeks, and I'm hooked. He has a series similar to the "Alex Cross" series by James Patterson (Kiss the Girls, Roses are Red, Along Came a Spider), his character is Stone Barrington. I really enjoyed the Stone Barrington novels, as well as his other novels. The one I finished today was actually not up to par with his others, in my opinion. It's called "Blood Orchid", and my only complaint stemmed from continuity issues. There were little mistakes made that affected the continuity of the story, and became distracting. Still, a fast read, and well worth picking up if you enjoy that genre. I'll be picking up a few more, since I borrowed these to pass the time while my friends are in training, and have only one book left to read. (Sidenote to Patterson fans: His new book, "Cross", is out the second week of November, and he's onto his wife's killer. This should be the best Alex Cross book yet!)

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Fall back

2006-10-29T08:17:00.001-08:00

This weekend's time change totally screwed me up. I usually look forward to the time change in fall, an extra hour of sleep is always a good thing. However, my friend Deuce came over last night to watch movies, and sometime near the end of the second movie I fell asleep. I woke up at what I thought was 3:15 or so, left him on the couch, and went to bed. This morning, the kids woke up at the crack of dawn, and wouldn't go back to bed. I was up and down for a while, and finally Deuce came up to my room to see if I was getting up. I look at my watch, it reads 10:15, ok cool, I'm up. We go downstairs, and he looks at his cell and says "I can't believe it's only 9:20." Aw man!! Stupid time change!!!

So, Deuce is one of my favorite friends. His name is actually Justin, but we all call him Deuce, including my kids. He's leaving, getting out of the Army, very soon. We thought he'd still be here when our crew got back from training next month, but he found out this week that may not happen. If he's gone before everyone gets back they will be really disappointed... I'm just sad he's leaving, period. The funny thing about it is he's the only lower enlisted in our crew, which is mostly commissioned officers. So, I met this whole crew, and Deuce and I were pretty much instant friends, he's just that great of a person. I'm gonna miss him!!

My friend Tasha and I are taking our kids to the local zoo for trick-or-treating this afternoon. Shane is SO excited about being Spiderman, and Madison is going to be an angel, at least for the day. We've finally reached the point where they understand trick-or-treating, because they remember getting candy last year, so it's all I've heard about for weeks. God help me, I'm going to have 2 sugar-high 4 year olds running wild for the next week or so. Thankfully, I get to go back to work tomorrow!

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Ouch!!

2006-10-26T16:12:00.000-07:00

So, I spent last night, and today laid up with back pain. That is possibly the worst feeling, because you're pretty much helpless. I called in to work, ended up going in for an hour during mid-morning, and coming right back home. After a couple hours on the couch with a heating pad, no kids to tend to, and a good book, I'm feeling better.
Thanks to all of you who commented and emailed your support, it means a lot to me. I've got some great friends, am dating a wonderful guy, and am doing just fine. The kids are slowly coming to understand what's going on, and are handling it well, considering.
So, has the year totally flown by for all of you? I cannot believe it's almost November!! I haven't done ANY Christmas shopping, and it's unlikely I'll be able to go on Black Friday this year, so I need to get a move on it. We're not doing anything notable for Thanksgiving, pretty much the entire month of November is going to boring. I've got to go shopping this weekend for a ball gown (KState is having Homecoming this weekend, so l should find a ton of sales), and I'm taking the kids to the local zoo for Trick-or-treating rather than try to go around the neighborhood on Halloween.

Untitled

2006-10-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well, there is a fairly good reason I haven't been posting much as of late. Beyond working full-time again, there have been a lot of changes in the Insanity household. Nate and I separated a few months ago, before our cruise. A few of you know that, from emailing with me, but I figure the only way to get back into writing (which I crave so much, but have felt unable to do) is to come out with it here. There have been some rough moments, but it's a fairly amicable split. It's been incredibly painful for everyone involved, not just us and the kids, but our families, our friends (nothing like a split to show you who your friends are). So, things have been turned upside down, to say the least. I started this blog shortly before our wedding, and have written through some hard times in the past 2 years. This is probably the hardest of them all, the last thing we expected, or wanted to go through.

So, yes... changes. From the biggest things, to the smallest, everything changes. Six months ago I was a SAHM, living with my husband, and planning out the next decade of our lives. Today I'm a single mom, dating again, and trying to figure out what tomorrow brings, who has time to worry about next year? My appearance has changed, my interests have changed, my opinions have changed... I've gone through a metamorphosis of sorts, and I hope that whatever the end result is, I come out better for it. After all, isn't that what life is? Constantly evolving until you've reached some specified point, a stage of some sort of completion? I hope so...

Drama Drama Drama!

2006-10-12T18:57:00.000-07:00

You know, at 24 I never thought life would be so much like middle school. I swear, drama everywhere. First, there is my ex-friend, who posted on a message board we belong to about how she lost a friend who was very important to her, a very obvious reference to me. Bullshit... if I was so important, we'd still be friends. And since one of the reasons she gave for not wanting to be friends was her "finding God" again, and my non-Christian beliefs, I wanted to suggest a Bible study when she needed suggestions for a girls' night out. I kept that one to myself, but it was tough.
Then there is work. We're only a few weeks into our training, and already there is a sexual harassment issue. The 19 people in my training class are ages 18-43, we're all adults, yet most of them act like children. So, another employee walked into our room yesterday, some comments were made and lewd looks given (she is a very attractive woman), and people were written up for it. So, my friend and I were talking, and she decided we should create a reality show about our job. We'll sell it to MTV and call it "Training Room". We'll vote people off, much like "Survivor", except instead of torches they have to hand over their ID badges and log off their computers. We'll have a confession room, a la "The Real World", where people can vent about each other. There will be the cliques and gossiping, it'll be great. Last one standing gets a promotion and raise, the rest are banished to Cubicle Hell. *sigh* It's a grown-up version of middle school, really.

Race Fever

2006-10-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

I'm in total race fan mode, with the Chase to the Nextel Cup well under way. Today's race was Talladega, one of the most exciting of the year, and it didn't disappoint. Of course, any of you who watch NASCAR know what I mean, the wreck on the final lap is going to lead to some nice revenge next week. Vickers may have won, but taking out Little E and Jimmy Johnson in the process is pretty shitty. And for the love of god, every time a Hendrick team driver has won a race in the past two years, they've dedicated it to the victims of a plane crash that killed some members of the Hendrick family. The crash was 2 freaking years ago, it's time to close that book. You don't see drivers dedicating wins to Earnhardt Sr. anymore, and while it's sad that those people died, it's time to move on! So, Vickers looked like a schmuck, I nearly stroked out during the race (Kasey had a good shot at winning, so close...) and Junior fans everywhere are out for blood. God, I love the Chase! (And no, my driver is not going to win the cup, but it's still exciting!)

Eyebrow ring v2.0

2006-10-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up a few weeks ago with my eye nearly swollen shut, and my eyebrow ring infected. I figure it was from taking it in and out for interviews and work, so I let it close up. I had it redone Friday, let's hope this one will heal better. I'm on a dangerous kick though, I got this one slightly to the side of my original one, and will probably get a second one in the same spot my first one was soon. Plus, I was discussing some other piercing with my piercer, and may have them redone... I'll be airport securities worst nightmare. Really, though, I'm having way too much fun with body mod, which tends to happen when I'm going through lots of change, like I am now. I guess that's one advantage of working in a call center... I'm dealing with large corporations all day, but they can't see me, so I don't really have to look the part.

Vacation update

2006-09-26T19:48:00.001-07:00

Anon pointed out that I never posted about our vacation. I totally forgot, with surgery and starting a new job, so here goes. Sorry about that!!!
So, once we finally got to Galveston and onto the ship, we got some time to explore the ship, which is HUGE. You can see the pics on my Flickr, I never did try the big slide in the main pool. So, they had art auctions most nights, with free champagne. I spent an insane amount of money on art, stupid free champagne did it. Wonderful pieces, but still, my wallet still hurts from that! So, we missed the sit down dinner the first night, but went the second night, for the formal dinner. There is a picture of us with the crew, Carnival really has a fabulous crew, and I think I want to work on a ship after my kids are grown. It seems like the coolest job ever! So, we spent the first night and day at sea, with pretty good weather, although it was pretty windy. We finally got to Progreso, which is a really neat city to explore. We went into the downtown area, and had breakfast at this little Mexican cafe, amazing food, and it only cost us about US$6. So, we walked around, shopped, and then headed to the beach. I had my hair braided, then we rented a waverunner. The water was great, we rode around for a while, and then went combing the beach for shells. Of course, at this point we're drinking Coronas, and thoroughly enjoying the sunshine. So, we board again, another night at sea, with rain. There were tons of things to do... shows, kareoke, casino, just hang out on the deck, pretty much whatever you could think of to do. I spent a decent amount of time hanging out on the decks, or sitting by the windows reading. One thing about cruise ships, or at least this one... they are FREEZING cold. So cold that when we would get off the ship, my camera took 20 minutes or so to adjust, and take a decent picture. So, we get to Cozumel, and the weather is kinda iffy. We rented a scooter, and took the long way around the entire island. I didn't like Cozumel as much as Progresso, the people were pushy, there wasn't as much to do unless you wanted to spend a shitload of money, and the public beaches weren't very convenient. We actually never made it to the public beach, but we did have brunch at this awesome place by the water, with the best fresh salsa I've ever had. We did go down on the sand for a bit while waiting for our food. We made it back to the downtown area near the port, and had to hunt down a tattoo shop to buy a replacement stud for my lip ring, lost on the scooter ride. Some more shopping, and we headed back to the port, for drinks at Senor Frogs. Finally, the weather had cleared up, but now it was so freaking hot we could barely breath, so we got back on the ship a bit early. The rest of the cruise was a blur of drinks, dancing, laying out, and just being lazy. We did end up in the casino, although we swore we wouldn't, but it was a lot of fun. All said, it was a great time, I highly recommend Carnival for an affordable cruise experience. The only thing I would have changed was choosing an adults only cruise, because there were close to 400 kids, and the parents of some of them were not the most observant people. Thank god for the topless deck, no kids allowed, for some peace and quiet. So, go on over to my Flickr badge, and check out the pics. :)

Ow

2006-09-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

Someone please pass me some asprin, and ear plugs. My head is killing me, and the kids have some kind of sensor that tells them to turn up the volume on everything when mom has a headache. That is all.

The Answer

2006-09-23T01:11:00.000-07:00

Normally, I wouldn't use Allen Iverson's nickname for such a somber post, but I got my answer on my friendship. It's not lack of time, or personal issues, it's me. I've had a couple of seriously painful blows in the past week, and honestly this one hurts the most. I sent one last email after posting about it, simply saying I missed her, and our friendship, but I wouldn't bother her again if I didn't hear back. Well, I heard back tonight, and basically I'm a shitty friend with too much drama, and my beliefs (or lack thereof) in God all add up to the end of a great friendship. I'm crushed, really... I know I'm not perfect, and I know that she's seen me through a lot of really hard and dramatic times, but I tried my best. Criticism for the choices I make in my marriage are painful enough, because I don't expect everyone to do things the same way, and I've made some non-traditional choices in that department, but the part about my kids always getting on my nerves being a problem for her hurts the most. Yeah, my kids are in a rotten stage, and they usually do have me at my wits end, but I looked up to this friend (whose children are all older than mine) for advice and support in that area. I never realized this would cost me my best friend.
So, I shed a few tears, and mourn the loss of a friendship, but it's not the first time, and won't be the last. Moments like this are the reason my signature on my email is the Maya Angelou quote "You did then what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." I really try to live my life by that, learn lessons and do better. Goodbye, friend... thank you for the past few years, I hope I brought something positive to the table during that time.

Birth control for the masses

2006-09-21T22:17:00.000-07:00

How to know you're raising little terrors? I fell asleep on the couch this afternoon before dinner. I was only asleep for about 30 minutes, but when I woke up my daughter was wearing my lipstick, my wallet was empty of all money, and the chocolate bar in my purse was gone. OK, no big, I got my money back from them, the lipstick wasn't destroyed, and all was ok. Well, I was just making the rounds, picking up the house, and noticed 2 pills on the dining room floor. At first I panicked, because one of them looked like a medication I take that could be very dangerous for them. Then I noticed the other was identical, except it was lighter in color. Oh shit, those are my birth control pills. I run upstairs, grab the pack from my purse, and EVERY PILL is missing. There were 10 actives, and 7 inactives left in the pack. I go get the little insert, because the kids have been asleep for 4 hours, and this happened 2 hours before bedtime. It says no serious illness has been found with accidental overdose in young children. OK, no need to rush to the ER or call poison control. I don't know which one, if either of them may have ingested them, but if they did, someone is going to have a whole lot of hormones running through them tomorrow. Ugh... who said parenting is easy?

Still here!

2006-09-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

My lack of posting is because I started a new job this week, and have been busy as hell. Yesterday was my 24th birthday, and I definitely participated in Get Drunk Friday in honor of my birthday. We had a big party hosted by a couple of my friends, it was actually a joint party for me and another friend who shares my birthday. So, I'm alive and well, and hope to return to posting regularely very soon. Have a great weekend!

Filed In: Daily Insanity

On a serious note

2006-09-07T15:49:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sad about my best friend... she's just stopped talking to me, and I don't know why. We've been friends for a couple years, and seen each other through some hard times, but suddenly she just dropped out of my life without so much as an explanation. My emails have been blown off, under the guise of being too busy at the moment. I've given things a couple months to settle down, and still nothing. Have you lost a close friend? I'm fairly used to it, because military life doesn't lend itself to long term friendships very often, but this was a non-military friend, and someone I used to talk to daily. I'm really depressed about it, I miss her. Life goes on, of course, but good friends are hard to find, and it's hard to not feel like I wasn't a good enough friend, or did something wrong that made her discard our friendship. :(

True Friendship

2006-09-07T14:17:00.000-07:00

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of
promises that really speaks to true friendship:

(1) When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against
the son of a bitch who made you sad.

(2) When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

(3) When you smile - I will smile, knowing you finally got laid.

(4) When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

(5) When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to quit whining.

(6) When you are confused - I will use small words.

(7) When you are sick - I will stay the hell away from you until you are
well again. I don't want whatever you have!

(8) When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Healthy eating

2006-09-05T17:29:00.000-07:00

On the urging of a good friend, who was concerned because my body wasn't healing from cuts, among other things, I've promised to improve my eating habits. Ok, I admittedly don't have great eating habits, and they could definitely use a revamp. This weekend that was down the drain, because I ended up so sick from the pain meds I was lucky to keep anything down. Since I'm feeling better, I decided to work on keeping my promise. What's your typical diet like? I can't imagine cramming all of the recommended servings in every day, that seems like an awful lot of food, and I don't want to pack on a bunch of weight. I know I *should* eat what I prepare for the kids, but that's damn near impossible. I don't know the first thing about eating healthy, and I certainly don't drink enough water (although I've been working on that.) Being an incredibly picky eater doesn't help, although I love fruits and veggies, and those are the things I lack most in my diet, go figure. So, any suggestions??

Weekend update

2006-09-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all your well-wishes and concern!! I'm feeling ok, a little sore, but should be fine in a couple days. This weekend was pretty bland after the surgery, I spent Friday at a friend's apartment recovering sans kids, and didn't have my laptop, so I didn't get caught up on blog reading until today. I FINALLY made it through all of my bloglines, and realized how much I miss everyone!! I stayed in Friday night (obviously), and spent Saturday sick from the pain meds, so when I tried to make it out with my friends on Saturday night, it didn't work out, I ended up coming right back home and going to bed. Sunday we did go out, although I wasn't 100% (freaking out because Kasey won, while at a rather yuppie college bar is funny, no one really understands why you're so excited), and yesterday was spent at home relaxing. How was your weekend??

Still Alive!!

2006-09-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

I'm still alive, I've just been busy as hell, and haven't had time to post anything. I had surgery today (outpatient, I'm fine), so I'm resting and recouperating for the day. I'm still insanely behind on reading all of your posts during my vacation, so please excuse my lurking!!

Summer Anthem

2006-08-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado

"I'm only trying to get inside your brain
To see if you can work me the way you say
It's okay, it's alright
I got something that you might like"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

The funny thing is this has been my summer anthem, and is currently one of my ringtones.

Back to reality

2006-08-27T14:25:00.000-07:00

Well, we're back in KS. I'm in the process of putting my house back in order, and trying to unpack everything. Here's a synopsis, I'll give the full report when I've had some more rest.

Get to Dallas Saturday afternoon, in-laws pick up kids, we see a kick ass DMB concert. They closed with the most amazing version of Rapunzel, the whole show was just insanely energetic, as usual.
Start driving towards in-laws house before heading to Galveston, something tells me to double check that we don't need our birth certificates for the cruise. OH SHIT! We do, and it has to be originals, which are at home. HAUL ASS to D/FW airport, book flight to Kansas City for me, N drives to his parents. I drive the 3 hours to Ft. Riley, get BCs, sleep a couple hours, and head back to KC to fly into Houston. This brings us to 11am Monday, the ship leaves mid-afternoon. Drive to Galveston, board, sail, awesome day in Progresso/Meridia, sail, rainy but fun day in Cozumel, sail (and whenever I say "sail", I mean spend WAY too much money, and drink way too much alcohol), get back to the states yesterday morning, drive to Central TX to pick up kids, eat, rest for a couple hours, drive home. Get home this morning, try to normalize as quickly as possible. Stay tuned for the full report and some pictures.

Vacation time!!

2006-08-18T04:44:00.000-07:00

We leave 7am tomorrow for Dallas, and I'm such a procrastinator that I haven't even packed yet! I have to get my van in for new tires this morning, pack for me and the kids, pick up some last minute items, and drive the sugar gliders to the lady I got them from, about 2 hours away. This is going to be the LONGEST day ever. Thank god for Starbucks!!! So, I'll probably have internet access at some points during the trip, I know they offer wireless on the ship, but I intend to spend a great deal of time drunk and laying in the sun, so not too much blogging will happen. I promise to post some great pictures when I get back, and visit (and comment on) every single blog in my Bloglines. Adios!!

Only me

2006-08-11T13:29:00.000-07:00

I swear I am the ONLY person in the world who can injury themselves in the stupidest ways. For example, I regularly fall UP the stairs. I did yesterday, carrying the kids food, and bent my nail back past the nailbed. Then, while out last night, I managed to cut my arm on my jeans. There was NOTHING in my pockets, I was not near anything sharp, but I moved my arm, skimmed my leg, and suddenly I'm bleeding, and have an inch long split in my forearm. I go outside, and call Nate to see if he thought I should go for stitches (how I expected him to DX it over the phone I don't know, but I did), and it was decided it was too shallow to need stitches. Still, I've got two butterflies and a guaze pad taped to my arm now. Ridiculous... So, at the end of the night, I walk into my friend's apartment to get my stuff and head home, and realize I've lost one of the beads to my eyebrow ring on top of everything else. I'm falling apart here, and it's only Friday!!!

Cock Soup

2006-08-09T15:15:00.000-07:00

Go visit Karla, and read about the most unusual birthday gift ever. My bday is next month, and I can only hope my friends are creative enough to come up with something so hilarious... after all, blog fodder doesn't produce itself, ya know?!

Wired

2006-08-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

A sign of our world, I'm sitting here on my laptop, listening to my MP3 player, and text messaging. Shane is plaing his VSmile, and Mads is watching some TV. A few people I know are doing an "unplugged" month, no computers, no TV, etc... I don't think I could survive. I like my electronic luxuries, thankyouverymuch!

Filed In: STFU, K? THX!

WIC re-vamp

2006-08-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

The WIC program, a program providing supplemental foods to pregnant/nursing women, and children birth through age 5, is undergoing it's first signifigant change since it's conception. I have been on WIC for most of the last 5 years, and since the programs are state-run, each state is different, but runs within the same guidlines. A certain amount of milk, eggs, cheese, specific cereals, peanut butter or beans, and 100% juice is allotted to each child over age 1. (There is a different list for pregnant/nursing mothers, and formula is provided for non-nursing children up to age 1) They have decided to reduce the amount of juice and add fruits, veggies, and whole grain breads to the list. I think this is a wise move, because the juice is the one part of the program I NEVER use all of. I have more Juicy Juice in my pantry than any human can possibly need, and have often decided to forgo the juice, or give it to a neighbor rather than continue to build my supply. Juice makers are not pleased with this, since it means less profit for them, but I think more than 6-8 oz of juice a day (of course, my children get the rest of their servings in other forms) for a small child is TOO MUCH, and WIC currently provides for much more than that. Considering about half of the children in America are eligble for this program, it could definitely make a difference in bringing healthy foods into low income homes. Think about it, a mom is shopping, and can buy the cheapest white bread for $1, or whole grain bread for $2 or more. This doesn't seem like much, but to a family on a budget, it is. Those fresh veggies that provide way more nutrition than canned or frozen are also more expensive, and some children living in low income homes never get the opportunity to experience them. Excellent move on the government's part here!

I quit.

2006-08-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

Today, Shane cut off his mohawk with safety scissors. Then Mads let him cut her hair. It was horrible, she has bald spots, and her once shoulder length hair is now a pixie cut.

Aftermath...

Waiting to get it fixed...

After the salon. It doesn't look too bad from the front, but there are a couple of noticable bald spots on the back, and it's going to be hell growing back in.

I'm exhausted, I don't think I can take any more of this stuff!! Call your parents tonight, and apologize for every evil thing you ever did. Grrrr.

Weekend Recap

2006-08-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

Well, my Saturday was much better than my Friday night. My friend Meegan and I convinced another friend of ours to host a party, because he has a loft above tha bar we hang out at, and it's an incredibly cool place. So, it was originally going to be a toga party, but we couldn't find enough women to make it anywhere near an even ratio, so we scrapped that idea, lest it be 2 girls, and 20 guys... awkward. So we showed up with an insane amount of alcohol, everyone else brought some as well, and we got to drink, laugh, and act like idiots all night long. I had my camera, and one of the guys who lives there had his as well, so lots of incredibly hilarious photos were taken, I'll only post a few.

The beginning of the night, part of the crew.

Me and one of our hosts, Mike (Apparently I decided to attack him for a picture. Oops!)

Our other host Joe, and Mike the Pilot (we actually do call him "Mike the Pilot", to differentiate between him and Joe's roommate.)

Of course, today wasn't so great, because Kasey wrecked on the last lap of the race, and got a DNF. Not. Happy. Oh well, shit happens. I'm tired and cranky, but it was well worth it. Of course, I haven't got an Idiot of the Week this week, although Floyd Landis is a prime candidate. I'm slacking, so we'll just give it to him. Congrats, dumbass... you can't get away with doping on the Tour de France.

Cranky

2006-08-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

After a week of tantruming kids and more stress than one could possibly imagine, I'm not a happy camper tonight. I'd go as far as saying I'm downright pissed off at the world. Oh, and it's Get Drunk Friday, and guess who is remaining painfully sober. Yep... not a good night.

Once again, I'm incredibly behind!

2006-08-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

I had finally caught up with everyone's blogs, and then I find myself way behind again. Ugh... either way, I made it through most of my bloglines, and if I didn't comment it's only because my eyes are about to start bleeding from too much time staring at the computer. Go give Katy some support, Clint just came down on orders for Iraq, when they thought he was non-deployable. That's a tough thing to deal with (actually this time last year the same thing happened to us, but the orders were cancelled 5 days before his flight), especially when she only has until October to prepare.

Argh!!

2006-08-04T11:54:00.000-07:00

So, I finished my donation for Shannon's Blogathon, and I must say that the United Cerebral Palsy fund makes donating a bit of a headache. Shannon is trying to pack for her trip, and I'm bugging her for her address, because it's demanding I provide an honoree complete with name and address. What happened to anonymous donations? Is anyone else having this problem, or am I just retarded? (Don't answer that...) Seriously, I think I make my life harder than need be. Either way, go donate!! The Blogathon is over, but this disease still needs support.

A reminder

2006-08-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

I was looking through my Flickr album, and the pictures of Maddie in her cast, and thought I should write about what happened to her again, in hopes that it prevents another baby from getting hurt. In Novermber 2004, my daughter woke up, stood up in her toddler bed, and broke her leg. You can read the original post about it here. She caught her foot in the slats circled in red.

She then fell over the railing, and hit her knee on the floor, causing a spiral fracture of her left femur. Nate had gotten the kids up that morning, and didn't instantly realize anything was seriously wrong, he just picked her up to comfort her. When he realized she was really hurt badly, he laid her down and yelled for me. I came into my living room to find my daughter screaming, one leg an inch shorter than the other. She spent the rest of the day, and the entire night in traction at one of the best hospitals in the country, they had to keep her so doped up on morphine she was near comatose. They set her leg the next morning, in a hip spica cast.

She spent 4 weeks in that cast, my baby spent her Christmas in that awful thing. She then spent 2 weeks in a walking leg cast. We were lucky, because although the break was severe, it didn't require surgery, which could have stunted her growth plates. This entire nightmare was caused by a railing that is supposed to protect your children. Believe me when I say the 6 inch fall off the bed is much safer. These beds are still on the market, sold under the Graco name, and manufactured by Simplicity. We bought ours at Walmart, and I've seen them at the Walmart here recently. Graco did a recall on over 3 million beds in March of 2005, because of similar injuries, but because they don't MANUFACTURE this one, it was not included, and the design never changed. The CPSC sent an investigator to our home, and filed a report about Madison's injury, I called both Graco and Simplicity, but nothing was done to prevent this from happening to another child. Please, when shopping for a toddler bed for your child, do NOT buy a bed with this type of railing. Honestly, you can skip the toddler bed altogether, a twin mattress on the floor may not look as cute, but it's a lot safer. I knew at least 5 other parents who had this bed at the time of Maddie's injury, and thankfully they got rid of them after hearing what happened to my daughter. If you have one like it, please do the same!!!

Retail Therapy

2006-08-04T07:03:00.000-07:00

So, I was pining over some shoes yesterday, and kind of going "Eh, I don't need to spend $60 on a pair of heels." I mentioned this to a (male) friend, and he said "Hell, most of my shoes cost more than that... that's not too bad." Well, all the excuse I need, if a straight guy doesn't see any problem with it, it must be reasonable. So, I ordered shoes... (neither pair ended up being $60 anyway... sales rock!)

Thing is, this first pair, I have a pair very similar, but dressier, that I wore to a ball. I'm kinda having buyer's remorse, I should have at least ordered them in brown instead of black. Oh well!

Second pair... so cute!! I cannot wait to get them in. I ordered a shirt, too, because it put me over $100, and therefore I got a discount anyway. Ahhh... feel better now!

I don't know if it will have quite the same effect, but I will get some instant gratification shopping therapy later, I have to go to the mall and buy running shoes. Does that even count for a girl with a new-found love of shoes?!

A year ago...

2006-08-02T13:54:00.000-07:00

So, I decided to look back into my August 2005 archives, and see what was going on a year ago. There were some good posts in there, like this, this, this, this, and this. What the hell happened, that I have nothing substantial to write about anymore? (Actually, I know the answer, but we're not going to discuss that.) The only bittersweet part of looking back is references to a friend who I've just lost contact with. (Not for lack of trying, I don't know what happened to our friendship.) Still, it's pretty neat to go back and read your old stuff. What were you writing about a year ago, assuming you've been blogging that long?

As a bonus, here are some posts from early 2005 as well.

More Eye Candy

2006-08-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

First up, Tony Stewart, although he's packing on some weight this year.

Keeping with the NASCAR theme, Carl Edwards for Tonya

And for Jazzy, a double shot of Matts... (I have no idea who the second Matt is, I've never watched Gilmore Girls!)

Message in a bottle

2006-08-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

This is so neat, a virtual message in a bottle, and you can receive messages that come "on shore". I sent out three so far... try it out!!

Eye Candy requests

2006-08-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

Marsha pointed out that Mike Rowe, from Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs, is a hottie, and should make my lineup. I also neglected to add my love, Joaquin Phoenix, and babyfaced Kasey Kahne, so we'll throw them into the mix as well. Any other hotties you guys want to see? It'll brighten your day! *wink* I'll even take requests for females, in the name of equality.

Of course, I had to choose a pic of him winning. ;) Now if he wins the Brickyard this Sunday my weekend will be complete!

Reverting

2006-08-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently I've reverted to toddlerhood, at least in my eating habits. I've been eating pretty much nothing but burritos with melted cheese for the last couple days. Suddenly, I completely understand why kids can eat nothing but chicken nuggets or mac and cheese for days on end... mmmm comfort food. Hey, at least it's not pints of Ben and Jerry's!!!

After a day like today... (edited)

2006-08-01T17:48:00.000-07:00

I've decided on my own version of Buzz's ECF, and it's only Tuesday. Og, and unlike the great Buzz, I'm being totally selfish and only posting for my choices. *wink*

Nicole must have been thinking along the same lines, because she posted this and this... mmmmm!!

The gorgeous D. Beckham. I don't care what anyone says... Metro is hot.

Mmmm... some Vin Diesel (Again, the metro is HOT)

And Allen Iverson looking oh-so-adorable with one of his babies (I think it's Tiaura, but hard to tell)... who can resist a cute Daddy pic? (Anyone who says he is a thug gets their ass kicked. I mean it!)

Edited 2 Aug 06: It's only 0951 CST, and I already have a headache. I think I'll leave this post at the top until I feel better. Mmmmm... eye candy.

UGH!!!!!

2006-08-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

I've swept the floors 3 times today, cleaned the house up, and have done tons of laundry, but it still looks like a freaking tornado came through!! The kids have the habit of peeling crayons, which means I keep sweeping up wrappers. I am considering unwrapping all crayons before giving them to the kids, just to keep my sanity! Then there is the dog who refuses to poop outside. WTF?? The piles of laundry that never seem to be done, the errands than keep getting put off, and of course I forgot yogurt for the gliders at the store today. ARGH!!!! Not having a fun day!!

Where's Yours?

2006-07-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty neat site, especially if you are looking for outdoor activities to do with your family. It's sponsored by Nature's Valley (mmm, awesome granola bars), and users can add a pin to a location they enjoy in nature. I added one for whitewater rafting on the Deleware River in the Poconos. (Of course, it's been a few years, I was totally guessing the location... Anyway, go check it out, you're likely to find some cool spots in your area.

Pig

2006-07-31T12:40:00.000-07:00

My MIL sent this to me. *wink*

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road...

They pass each other..
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells back out window, BITCH!

Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.

Thought for The Day: If only men would listen...

And this is why I don't hang out with many women....

2006-07-31T09:20:00.000-07:00

Buzz mentioned the drama started at BlogHer over a post bashing "mommybloggers". That shit is hilarious, the ONLY reason I'm giving the dumbass who wrote it a link is so you can read the comments, and laugh at the arguements. Hey ladies, and this includes you, Sherri, why don't we all act like big girls? The closest thing I can compare this to is watching the guys talk shop, and bash each other's MOS, unit, division, etc. "Oh, infantrymen are nothing but stupid grunts." "Oh yeah? Well if you ain't Cav, you ain't shit." "Yeah, well, you're nothing but a finance REMF" (Rear-echelon motherfuckers, for those of you who aren't familiar with the term) Or, the different branches making fun of each other. So, when we are sitting here arguing over blogging, and bashing each other for the types of bloggers we are, especially at a convention created for WOMEN, we've officially hit a new low. I'm just going to print that post out, and hand it over next time one of my male friends asks me why I don't hook them up with a friend... because hanging out with women creates drama.

Edited: I said "dumbass who wrote it", and then realized this may actually be a pretty smart woman. There is no quicker way to bump up your stats, and your links, than piss off the "mommybloggers". A face-to-face with Dooce was mentioned in a later post, and Sherri has been posted a few times now about the whole drama. I don't know who she is, or what her stats were like before this, but I'd have to say this falls under the "bad press is better than no press" rule. WTG, enjoy the traffic while it lasts.

Stuck in Oz

I guess a new title is in the near future

Well, so I thought...

A record low

So many things that eat away at my mind...

It's crazy, thinking, knowing that the world is round

And...

I hate moving!!

Yum!!

Ouch!!

Hello!

Again **STICKY POST! Scroll down for new stuff!**

Hey there

Ding, dong...

So...

Hectic

Mental Jukebox Selection

Normalcy

And that's done...

Just an update *edited*

Drama, Drama, Drama

Hey, I'm alive!!

So...

Update

This post is brought to you by the letter "K"...

Who do I have to kill...

We Were Soldiers... Once and Young

YouTube

WTF

Aloha!

My new header

And that is quite enough of the bullshit...

A man after my own heart...

Fairy Tale

"I do not have to tell you who won the war. You know, the artillery did."~ Patton

Because I AM that bored

The new tat

Tattoo V4.2

The joys of management

Mental Jukebox selection

Book reviews

Expect them sometime around Valentine's Day

Christmas Photos

Last minute shopping?

Finally...

To those taking bets...

Famished, sick, and utterly exhausted.

Seriously?

Pictures from this weekend

How to scare the daylights out of me...

A Different Christmas poem

Pictures, as promised

Big surprise

Germ factories

Meme

Randoms

Non-stop

Tides of change

Vote

Halloween, Insanity-style

Entertainment review

Fall back

Ouch!!

Untitled

Drama Drama Drama!

Race Fever

Eyebrow ring v2.0

Vacation update

Ow

The Answer

Birth control for the masses

Still here!

On a serious note

True Friendship

Healthy eating

Weekend update

Still Alive!!

Summer Anthem

Back to reality

Vacation time!!

Again STICKY POST! Scroll down for new stuff!

Just an update edited