Fear and Loathing

Overheard from my kitchen a few moments ago.

"Uh oh... a meh (mess in Shane-glish). Sissy!! MEH!!!"

This is my cue that all hell has broken loose, something has spilled, and I will probably need to bathe both children immediately. I got lucky this time, it was just a small lake of milk pooling on the kitchen floor. It is not unusual to find my whole house destroyed while I do something as frivilous as pee with the door shut. One of these days I WILL have a clean house AND be able to use the bathroom without fear. In the meantime, does anyone know where I can get a dairy cow cheap??