True Friendship

TRUE FRIENDSHIP


Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of
promises that really speaks to true friendship:



(1) When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against
the son of a bitch who made you sad.

(2) When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

(3) When you smile - I will smile, knowing you finally got laid.

(4) When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

(5) When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to quit whining.

(6) When you are confused - I will use small words.

(7) When you are sick - I will stay the hell away from you until you are
well again. I don't want whatever you have!

(8) When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.