My third attempt at becoming a non-smoker

You know, I honestly enjoy smoking. I know very well what it can do to your body, but, in the last 2 years or so, it's often been the ONLY time I get 5 minutes to peace. I get aggrivated when people tell me how horrible it is, and it pisses me off that I find myself feeling ashamed for being a smoker. I like my cigarettes! I don't begrudge you your vices, whether you overeat, drink too much, bite your nails, or whatever. (Ok, that's a lie, I yell at N constantly for biting his nails... drives me nuts!) Anyway, sadly, the time has come to quit. Why? I feel guilty spending money on cigs for both of us (N smokes, too) when that money could be used for so much more. N is unfazed by the removal of a long habit, he's been taking it in stride. Yeah, he's cranky, but not too bad at all.. Now let me tell you about my attempts. I first quit while pregnant, though I'd be lying if I said I quit cold turkey, or that there weren't a few cheats. Two weeks after the twins were delivered, I broke down and started smoking again. My second attempt was a few months ago. I was just feeling ambitious, and made it about one and a half days. I actually wouldn't have given in if N hadn't gotten very frustrated with my attitude. That brings me to the current attempt. 10 hours in, and I'm not really feeling *too* bad, though I'm quite edgy, and keep feeling like I'm forgetting to do something. N's solution to my lack of will power was to picture the kids sitting at the table with empty plates crying "Mommy we're hungry!". That did it, regardless of the fact I would NEVER allow them to go hungry like that. So with just the thought of that hypothetical crying, I'm determined to quit. I've given up stronger addictions with less struggle. I think the habit of smoking is the thing that gets me, more so than the nicotine. Either way, I'm going to document the experience on this blog, since it at least keeps my hands busy. If you notice a certain mean streak in my writings, please forgive me, I'm battling a demon. If I stop posting, it's entirely possible N and I have killed each other. If I catch ANYONE taking bets on how long it will take me to cave I will be kicking some ass. Idle hands and low nicotine in the bloodstream may cause serious side effects. Now THAT ought to be a Surgeon General's warning label! Pass the gum please!