You've got to be kidding me

Interesting things going on in the world today....
This makes me sick, mainly because Graner, a Spc, got 10 years for a much lesser crime, and this 1LT is going to stay in the Army, and only serve 45 days for killing someone. The UCMJ is a beautiful thing, folks. It's not what you know...
Another bit of sickening news? Robert Blake was aquitted. Yeah buddy, you and OJ can go play some golf now... it's an elite club.
Things in the blogworld?
Jay and his tea
Tish has a new career prospect
Melissa's house is talking, it might be time to up the meds ;)

That's all I've got right now, talk amongst yourselves!

Grrrr... Blogger is being a punk!

Blogger hasn't let me in in over 24 hours, so I'm pretty happy to just get into my dashboard today, and hopefully get this post up. You ever wake up and know it's going to be one of those days? That was yesterday. I went to put my contacts in, and noticed a chip in the edge of one. Ok, throw them out, get a new pair. Open the new pair, and the right lens was torn in half. This is a new brand for me, and their packaging is a bit difficult to get the lens out of, so I don't know if I sliced it or it was defective from them. Oh, well... open another one, and now have an uneven amount of lenses. Grrrrr. The kids chose yesterday as official "Act Like Brats" day, and their daddy must have been in on the plans, because it was a bad mood day. Grrrr.... Ok, we get a phone call with less than stellar news. Nothing major, just a speedbump to put a damper on our evening. GRRRRRRR! Finally, the kids were in bed, the house was quiet, and I quit for the night. I try to blog and Blogger is giving me hell. Of COURSE!! The day wouldn't have been complete without it!! I took a sleeping pill and went to bed, wishing I had just stayed there all day instead of even bothering with the whole deal. Today is shaping up to be a *little* better, so we'll see how it goes. Pray for my computer, because if this post doesn't go through I'm taking this hunk of crap down to Michael Dell's house and throwing it at him. (Of course I realize it's Google/Blogger's fault, but Dell lives closer.) Is 2pm too early for a drink? I need one!

**editor's note** Check the time on this post. Blogger is not posting it, so it will stay open on my PC until I get it to go through. I'll post the time it goes through later. 8:51pm it finally went through... twice. Silly program!!

Reason # 1,239,572

To De-lurk... since we are all (or at least a couple people) experiencing some technical difficulties with blogrolling, I'm visiting sites off my comments. So... if you didn't comment, I can't come see you! Comment once in a while... I need the reassurance, I'm terribly insecure!

Wait... come back!!

Monica... you commented on my last few posts, presumably here from Musikdude's, but your site address doesn't work! I want to visit, so if you stop in please post the correct link. Hmm... I'm off to track you down! ;)

Randomness at it's best

First of all, why, oh why, can I not get my blogroll to load?! I'd say it loads correctly 4 times out of 10, and that's on a good day. I will be doing my rounds tonight, if only I get the stupid list to populate! Ok, next topic... how to get hung up on. Call my house and ask for my ex-husband by first name. When I tell you that he is my ex, and I have no idea why he would give out my number as a contact number, quickly ask if we were together when he bought something he didn't pay for. When I let you know it is nearly 8pm, and I am not appreciating this call, rudely let me know that you are allowed to call until 9. Um, I don't care what the state or federal laws are, you are not allowed to call this house after business hours for a business matter. Also, when I let you know you need to take said collection up with X and please stop calling me you know you are about to get hung up on. Fair warning. The last thing I heard was "We will continue to call..." CLICK. No, I'm pretty sure you won't, I'll be happy to send a cease and desist, because X doesn't live here and is not my problem anymore. I mean, just in case you were wondering, that's the quickest way to get hung up on. :D Anywho... on to bigger and better things. Things have been more than hectic with N's Army (re) enlistment. Prior service enlistments are usually a bitch anyway, but this one has been particularly trying. We had to open a congressional inquiry, which still didn't clear up our problem. (I'm not surprised, our congressman is a Republican't) FINALLY, after rattling quite a few cages in the high tiers of the local command, (as in a Colonel, a couple Generals, the people who would rather eat rocks than talk to lowly former Sergeants) shit rolled downhill as N predicted, and the recruiters started being pleasantly cooperative. As in the guy who had previously blown us off, hadn't lifted a finger to get this processed, and had been as rude and unprofessional as possible is now jumping through hoops for us.) The error the Department of the Army had made was a serious one, one we could have sued for had it come to that, when all we wanted was N to be enlisted as he deserved to be. Hopefully, our battle is coming to an end, and it looks good for us. We are supposed to find out something "concrete" tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for us?
The kids are blossoming in language and skills, it's funny how we thought they might never catch up to other kids their age, and all of a sudden you BAM! Were they holding out on me or something? Shane knows his colors well, and they are working on counting. (I think Mads is just playing dumb about the colors, she used to have them down pat but now everything is "green") Mads loves to sing her ABCs, and she is getting closer to the right order everyday. That girl is going to be a star, she LOVES to entertain and sing and dance. Is it wrong that we encourage her to "shake her butt"? It all started with the "We did it!" song from Dora... they do a little butt shake there. Either way, their intelligence sometimes surprises me, not because I didn't think they had it in them, but because they seem to pick up stuff out of the blue. The bad thing is they sometimes pick up stuff they shouldn't. I'm in trouble, I need to start changing my habits!

Eeeek!

I feel like I've been caught in my pjs at 3 in the afternoon or something. I just found out that I'm Musikdude's Mystery Site today, and of course it's at a time that I've been slacking! So... don't mind me, I'm not usually this lazy! ROFL. I promised something worthy of your time today, and I'll deliver on that promise in a few hours, but in the meantime feel free to grab a Coke, put your feet up, and have a look around (ignore the dust bunnies, they don't bite). My good friend Cori posted about our crazy conversations, so you can go here to see what I'm really like (don't forget to say hi, she's one of my bestest friends!). Also, I have a bit of a game for you. Post a comment with the address to one site you read that you think deserves some recognition. I'll post the whole list tomorrow, and we can all find some new sites to add to our never-ending blogrolls! Thanks for stopping by!

Well doesn't that suck?

Nothing like finding out your lifespan is short for brightening up your Sunday night. Ok, so I know this isn't a "real" assessment, but still...

You Will Die at Age 58

58 Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What Age Will You Die?

I promise to post something worthy of reading tomorrow, I've been neglecting my poor blog lately. Have a good night!

I'm Baaaccckkk!

Did ya miss me? You know you did! (Or not... but let me pretend, it makes me feel better!) Anyway, I'll be spending most of my night catching up on my blogroll, I've missed you guys. It's funny how attached to this blog I've become, it's a nice little outlet for adult thoughts and "conversations". Anyway, enough babble-assing (Jenn, I LOVE that word!) on to the good stuff. We've had a blast hanging out with Uncle "Ducky", the kids just adore him. He must have great luck because his trip here has been blessed with our spring best weather, 70s and beautiful all week. The boys have been having a blast catching up, the kids just love playing with their uncle, and I enjoy having him around, even though the typical 19 year old in him can be frustrating. Anyway, he's a great guy, and we've been trying so hard to convince him to come to TX next year, go to school down here instead of Indiana, but I doubt it will happen.
We took the kids to the park the other day, and spent all day playing on the playground and looking at the ducks swimming in the pond. When we were leaving Madison was mad, and had a tantrum. Nate was carrying her and she did that silent, red, angry scream... you know, no noise just open mouth. She then stopped breathing, eyes shifted to the left, body locked up, and face turned blue. Nate laid her down on the sidewalk (stiff as a board and blue), and gave her a quick sternum rub, which made her take a breath, but it was terrifying. Meanwhile we're getting the evil eye from other parents, like we're just beating our kid or something. People, if you see someone's kid throwing a fit, it is not helpful to stare and whisper like your child *NEVER* has a tantrum, and how awful are those parents. Seriously. Also, if your child likes to hold their breath, stay calm, and blow in their mouth. If that doesn't work, rubbing your knuckles on their sternum will. Worse case scenario? They'll faint and start breathing again, they cannot hold their breath forever. Funny thing is Dusty used to do it, and the ped told my mother-in-law just let him pass out. He's now a healthy 19 year old college baseball player, it didn't kill him. No one said parenthood wouldn't be scary.
Ok, just a couple quick rants. First of all, am I the only Desperate Housewives fan who is a little pissed about the lack of new episodes? It's been a couple weeks now, and there will not be an episode this weekend or next weekend. The 20th is the next episode, and it's an older one, which means well over a month without anything new. How can you have a top rated show, and then just not run episodes? That's a quick way to lose fans, especially if they are like me, and can't even remember what happened last. Come on ABC, this is cruel. Besides, I wouldn't watch ABC at all if not for DH, it's definitely the best thing they have going for them!
Victoria's Secret... let's talk. I've been a good customer, I spend lots of money on my Angel card, I pay it on time, and every undergarment I own bears the VS label. That said, I bought a new bathing suit, VS brand, through your catalog. It was not a cheap suit, but I liked it a lot, more than any suit I've found since having the kids. The bottom didn't fit so well, even though I bought the same size I always buy, I guess your panties and swimsuits use different measurements. Anyway, not only do you charge me $5 to send it back, but I called to order the next size up, and again put it on my card. The rep tells me it'll be shipped right away, and I would be refunded for the other one when they received it. No problem, right? Well, it took 5 days for an in stock item to ship. FIVE DAYS. If it was in stock, what was the problem? The email you sent said it would be shipped pending credit card approval. I used YOUR CREDIT CARD! You already know that I have the available credit considering you issued me the card and credit line, so why the wait for the approval? Also? You send me my items USPS using the slowest method possible. I paid an arm and a leg for shipping, only to take for. ev. er to receive my stuff. The return label you send? UPS, and it's cheaper. Why is that? Not only do I have to wait forever to my items, and pay to return them, but I have to drive into town and find a UPS store. Not. Happy. Do you hear me? Customer not happy! I spend way too much on your products to be unhappy, so if you could kindly fix it I'd appreciate it.
Ok, I'm done ranting now, especially since Tish says it will give me wrinkles. She forgot to mention the high blood pressure and stress headaches, but it's whatever. :) Off to visit everyone, have a great night!

Making a date

With the blog world that is! I will be up and running tonight with new posts, my week in review, and a couple of rants. Who is on my rant list? ABC, Victoria's Secret, and anyone else who manages to piss me off before the kids go to bed tonight. I'll see you tonight, don't forget to bring flowers and wine , after all, I am an old fashioned girl sometimes!

Still here!

I'm still alive, and I haven't forgotten about the internet. My brother in law is visiting from Indiana, so we've been hanging out with him, and enjoying some great weather. The kids love their Uncle Ducky, so I'm sure to have some great pics for you this week. In the meantime, check out some of the blogs on my blogroll, there are so many interesting read out there you never know what you are going to find!! Feel free to talk amongst yourselves!

A Peek Into Their Insanity

Today I'm going to distract you from my insanity to take a look at a couple other crazies. Now, I say crazies with the best intentions, because both of these bloggers are wonderful, interesting people, but they're mommies, and parenthood is nutty. First up is aka_monty from The Daily Bitch. A real life Supermom, she spends her days juggling kids, work, blogging, and writing a book. She's snarky, entertaining, and honest, never afraid to tell it like it is! Let's see what kind of information I can drag out of her!

1. I've got to know about the pencil lead. How'd it get stuck in your thigh, and why didn't you get it taken out?

2. What can you tell us about your book? How long have you been working on it, and are you working on any others?

3. You have your choice of any man in the world, and you are guaranteed to have a long, happy marriage. Who do you pick and why?

4. What do each of your kids do that makes your heart just melt? Do they use that to get their way?

5. Money is no object, and you are planning your dream home. Tell us about it, what special features are you putting in?

Ok folks, check back with aka_monty for her responses, and don't forget to say hello!

Our other guest is also working on a book (or 5) and is the physical therapist we all know and love. Between patients, kids, and some huges dogs, she finds time to work on her novels and keep us entertained with her incredible blog! Let's get the dish from Tish!

1. You have writer's block (Tish? Never!), and you have a deadline to meet. What remedies do you use to get the creative juices flowing again?

2. You have some crazy relatives, including a klepto grandma. What is your craziest trait?

3. What has been your biggest adventure so far? Was it planned or spur of the moment, and are you glad you did it?

4. You are hosting a dinner party for 10, including you and your hubby. Who do you invite? (Dead or alive, choose anyone you want)

5. What are 5 things you are determined to accomplish before you die?

Again, check back with Tish to see her responses, and let her know you stopped by. Don't forget to snoop around at both of these wonderful sites, and see what wonderful insanity they have to share!

So what?

I'm sure you've heard about the chimpanzees who attacked some people at a sanctuary this week. I actually saw it on CNN headline early yesterday morning, but I decided to look up an article last night, after a commentor on Brando's blog mentioned one of the victims had his testicles ripped off. Yeah, that seemed worth looking into. Well, the Houston Chronicle ran this article, and the man did indeed have his nose, foot, and testicles ripped off. Wow, talk about your bad day right? Well, the couple who was attacked was visiting a 39 year old chimp named Moe who had lived with them for decades. He was removed from their home for biting off part of a woman's finger, but he was not one of the attacking chimps in this incident. At the end of the article there is an old quote from the victim about the incident that caused Moe to be removed from his home. "Animals bite, people bite, Mike Tyson bites. So what?" You can't help but wonder if he still feels that way now that it was his nuts and not some woman's finger.

Tish uncovers the truth... film at 11!

Tish is enjoying her childless break, as the kids are with Grandma, and she even got some alone time since the Hubs went golfing. During this break, she managed to put together an in depth look into the lives of 5 bloggers. I'm one of them, so here's where I bore you with the details. Actually, it shouldn't be too boring since Tish came up with the questions, so stay tuned!

1. What started you in blogging? Well, Cori and I belong to a message board for parents, and the topic of blogging came up. We read a couple of the blogs, and in order to comment you needed a blogger account. So we both signed up, and decided it would be fun to give it a shot. Now, the fun has spun out of control, and I'm in need of a 12 step program, but I'm loving every minute!

2. How did you meet your husband? I had started working in car sales shortly after deciding to divorce. Nate started at the dealership a week after me, newly split with his wife as well, and needing steady income while getting his EMT certifications completed. After about a week of meetings, I came in one morning to find him sitting at my desk. He told me "I'm moving in" (there were not enough desks on the showroom floor) And we spent 12 hours a day sitting across from each other, with a few pesky customers interrupting. After a couple weeks we started seeing each other, got the rumor mills flying, and I moved to the pre-owned side so business and pleasure wouldn't mix. 4 months later we moved in together, and we married 16 Dec 2004.

3. Tell us three stupid things people say to mothers of twins, and your retorts. Somewhere in my early archives, there is a post about this very topic. Hmmm, my favorite three?
"Are they both yours?" (yes) "Well how many months apart are they?" (2 minutes) "Oh! They're TWINS?" (Here's your sign) No real retort here, because really, what can you say?
"Are they identical?" Um, no... only one of them has a penis, that pretty much rules out being identical. (This inevitably leads to "I thought all twins HAD to be identical." Oh, yes, you're right, one of them isn't actually mine, I just like to pretend I have twins. You caught me!) You'd be surprised how many people obviously failed Biology 101.
"Oh, two boys?!" Yeah, we just pierced that one's ears, and dressed him in ALL PINK because we REALLY wanted a girl.
Granted, that last one is specific to me, not all MoMs, but all three of these have actually happened. More than once. They happen less now that the kids are older, but as infants it was a "Here's Your Sign" marathon.

4. If you had one day to replay, what would it be and why? I wouldn't replay any bad days, even if I could change them, because those experiences made me who I am today. I'd replay the day the kids were born, only if I could take Nate with me. It breaks my heart that I can't share that with him, because he loves them more than I could ever imagine. I'd want him to witness it, and get it on tape. (Before you go "EWWWWW!" I delivered by C-section, Shane was breech. I didn't have a video camera then, and my dimwitted Ex bought an outdoor disposable camera, so there are no good hospital photos.)

5. What is your advice to women going through a difficult time with an ex? WRITE IT DOWN! All of it, dates, times, phone calls, missed visits. If your state will allow it, record all phone convos. Trust me, this will pass, honesty will prevail, but you can speed up Lady Justice's hand if you are armed with the right information. If you aren't divorcing, just broke up with your boyf or whatever, keep your chin up, get dolled up, and go out. Believe me, there are BETTER fish in the sea. Have fun!

Well Tish, thank you for having me on your show, it's always a pleasure to sit down with you. Remember folks, have your cats spayed, or you'll end up like the CCL!. Good night!

That *is* the highway

I'm usually not good for much early in the morning, other than stumbling around and being grouchy. On mornings that I've not slept, except for the 40 minutes or so before you call my house, it is not wise to call me for driving directions. My 19 year old brother-in-law called this morning asking me where the highway was. He flew in last night, and is driving his dad's truck up to Oklahoma to visit a friend for the weekend, then spending next week here before heading back to college in Indiana. He was telling me something about being at the Jack in the Box and the Exxon, across from the bank, which is on Hwy 190, but I think he might have been asking where I 35 is from there, and I gave him some useless gibberish. "That's the highway right there, runs east/west. You're good. Be careful" Dusty, I hope you found I 35 all right, and you learned a very valuable lesson today. Don't call before 9AM unless someone is dead (in which case ask to speak to N), because I lose about 75 IQ points until mid-morning. Sorry bro...

A Public Service Announcement

Have you seen Saw? If not, I don't recommend it, especially if you are a scaredy cat like me. Ok, ok... you say you have to see this movie? Well, let me tell you what NOT to do. Don't watch it at night. I barely slept last night after watching this movie, it took quite a while to get the images out of my head. Don't watch it the day before you'll be all alone all night. N had off last night (thus the movie viewing), but is working all night tonight. As in, left at 4PM, won't be home until dawn. I've never been one for horror movies, I didn't watch a single one until Scream came out. You think I would have learned my lesson, because the next night I babysat my toddler sister, on my parents' 15 acre property, and spent the whole night in their bedroom holding the phone and a butcher's knife, German Shepard at my feet. See? Big sissy baby right here, I'm not ashamed to admit it. Scream was a joke to horror movie fans, but it had me debating whether I should call the state police (and surely die because their response time was like 12 hours), or bypass them and call my dad's coworkers in the next town, in hopes they'd take personal interest in my limbs staying intact. That is, if the killer didn't cut the power lines that ran down our long, dark driveway. How about the time I tested my courage by watching one of the old Halloween movies with a friend? Screamed so loud I set off my parents' burglar alarm. Didn't even know that was possible! What was I talking about again? Oh, yeah... Saw. Fucking horrific, there is no other way to describe this movie. Infuriating at times, completely confusing, nasty, scary, psycho movie. Nate even commented on how twisted the guys who wrote it must be. Now I'm alone, and spooked. There is no way I'm going to sleep tonight. Great, huh? In my defense, I've seen quite a few horror movies in the past few years, and I haven't lost sleep like this before. The freaking cats from the CCL? They keep setting off my motion detector, just adding to my anxiety. It's just pretend, it's just pretend, it's just pretend... (that worked better when you were a kid and didn't know about the real life crazies out there) I want my husband to come home!!

Tag, you're it!

First, let me say Blogger is a meany stupidhead program, because I had this post completed, and hit publish, and Blogger ate it. I hope you're happy Blogger! >:P

Ok, now on to more important matters, or something like that. Cori tagged me with the interview thing that's going around. (That makes it sound like the flu, but it's a good thing, it's fun!) This means I get to post my answers, and then interview 5 more people. Staying with the trend, I'll interview the first 5 commentors. (Of course, I don't often get 5 comments per post, so I may just hand pick a couple victims!) But first, I need to answer the questions Cori left for me. I should add that this wasn't an easy task for her, we've been friends for about 8 months, and talk daily. That doesn't leave much mystery about the other person!!

1. What is the sexiest part of N's body? That's an easy one... his shoulders and arms. Muscular and snuggly, I adore having his arms around me!

2. Do you have any birthmarks? Nope. My kids have some, but not me. The oldest mark on my body is a pencil point in my face, it's been there since I was 4.

3. Besides mine *wink wink*, what is your favorite read on your blogroll? Ha! I know your tricks! I plead the 5th, your honor, there are too many really great ones to choose from!

4. Nate is told he can be stationed anywhere in the continental US. What post would you choose for him? 'Cause I totally know you would end up making that decision! You're absolutely right, I would be the one to choose, if only because Nate would do anything to make me happy. This is a really tough one. Sticking to just Army posts, (and since you said "continental US" the really cool ones like Puerto Rico and Hawaii are out) I'd probably choose Ft. Dix, NJ. It's about 20 minutes from my hometown, I miss my family. (Unfortunately, Ft. Dix is scarcely populated now, we'll never be stationed there.)

5. If you found yourself in front of a crowd of thousands and you had to entertain them, what talent would you whip out? (And flashing doesn't count) Damn, you know me too well!! Actually, I have terrible stage fright, so my only "talent" would be standing frozen and saying "Uh... um... oh God... um..." and stuttering. I have very few performing talents, so I'd have to grab my husband and stick him out there. He's a great comedian, he'd definitely keep them laughing!

Well, who wants to be in the hot seat next? Just leave me a comment, and consider yourself tagged! Oh, and don't forget to head over to my good friend's site, and let her know how awesome she is!

Confessions

Jenn came clean with the world on her blog, and did a great service to the moms out there struggling with addiction. She posted this about an article on the "rise" of meth use among moms, and I think she is hit the nail on the head. Now it's my turn. I am a recovered addict. A mommy who ended up addicted to drugs in order to take on the world. I didn't do the NA/AA meetings like Jenn, I quit cold trukey, but I've relapsed once. And I battled again, hopefully I've won for good. That relapse almost cost me my children because it came in the midst of my divorce, with a medication prescribed to control my anxiety disorder. This happens every day around us, even though we think it could never happen to us, or our neighbors, friends, or family. I am not pointing the finger at society for my battle with addiction, I know all too well that I made that choice, took that rocky path. However, I do recognize the pressure of society to "do it all" when you are a parent. To cram 36 hours of activity into 24 hours a day, to function on little to no sleep, and still be Supermom at all costs. Will people judge me when the find out I've battled addiction? Of course, because in our minds addicts are only homeless bums who would rather get high than work. But as Jenn has said, this demon knows no social status. It's the young mother trying to stay afloat and raise her children, it's the soccer mom with a PDA full of PTA meetings, Scouts, playdates, and school functions. It's the wealthy socialite with lunch dates and charity functions. It could be your next door neighbor, one of the people in your car pool, your boss. It could be you. For Desperate Housewives fans, I know more than a few moms who could relate to Lynnette, frazzled, over-worked, out of control, and trying to get it all done. As I watched her addiction to Ritalin unfold, I told a close friend how I wish we could have the benefits of endless energy, without the pain of addiction to pills. She has 3 children of her own, and she agreed, it would be so great to be able to get it all done effortlessly. The most honest thing the writers of the show put in there was Lynette asking her friends why no one talks about the feelings of failure, though we all face them at some point. It would be so much easier if we supported each other, instead of telling every other parent out there how they are fucking it up. I'm sure you read about the Mommy Drive-bys at Chez Miscarriage. Well, they happen, every day, and it needs to stop. This job isn't easy, and no one knows all the answers. And when one of us falls down, we need to pick them up, help them brush off, and get through it.

The Common Denominator

I had a bit of a guilty moment. There are so many blogs I love, too many to really read each day, but someone had surfed by mine on Blog Explosion. This person also had twins, and I checked out her site, and immediately realized I would never want to know her in real life. Seriously, there are a lot of you I'd like to meet one day, but this was a definite no. So why do I feel guilty? I feel like there is a bond between us as mothers of multiples, and that I should become insta-friends with her. She doesn't discuss her children at all, her whole site is discussing a toxic relationship she cannot seem to break from, and I really didn't want to bother reading past the first post. We really had nothing in common other than boy/girl twins. Yet, because of a not all that uncommon experience we've both had, I feel this silly urge to force myself to like her. That is so not me, I'm very cut and dry. I either like you or I don't and you know, because I tend to lack the internal censor that people refer to as tact. Maybe it's because it's that time of the month. Yeah, that's it... I'll blame it on the hormones... why else would I stress about something this insane? Pass the chocolate please!

So excited!!

All of the words I'd use to describe Hello! image hosting are not suitable for family entertainment, and are probably illegal in many states. The Webwench turned me on to Imageshack's free hosting, which is how I got to finally add my Genuine Bash buttons and my Certified Redhead barcode. Yea!! So, in honor of my new found image hosting abilities, I'm going to share a few pics of the kids. Enjoy!!


Madison sleeping in the car


Shane playing outside


This is in the hospital, they are in the incbuator together... see how tiny they were?


Nate and me at a club a year ago. That's the last time we went clubbing, how sad. BTW, his name is Nate. Nathaniel. He asked me today why I only refer to him as N. I don't know, force of habit. Either way, now you know. Are you happy, honey? I love you even though you're a pain.

Part time job

Reading my blogroll is like a part ime job with crappy pay. Seriously, I just spent 3 hours reading blogs, and I frequently do from 9 or 10 pm until I go to bed. Is there a Blog Anon? I think I need to go there. Now.

Not what Victoria had in mind

My underwire broke (a $40 bra and the underwire breaks? WTF is that?) so I took my bra off, and laid it on the couch. We go through bathtime, and the kids come into the living room to get dressed. I walk in to see Mads wearing my bra, looking like something out of "Honey, I shrunk the kids" after a fall in the laundry basket. I really couldn't help but laugh, and actually thought of grabbing the camera, but is that really one for the scrapbook? She takes it off, and I go into the battle of combing her hair, and getting her into pajamas. While I was distracted, Shane grabbed the undergarment, slung one strap over his head, creating an interesting bib. He then tried to swing it around his neck, and when that didn't really go according to plan, he had some fun pulling it like a bungee necklace. Should I have been disturbed or laughing at this point? This is a kid who helps me sort laundry with color commentary. "Shane's pants, Madison's pants, Daddy's pants, and (grabbing my tinest pair of undies) MOMMY'S PANTS!" Um, thanks son, give mommy her underwear and go play. No, don't put all of our underwear on your head and run around. Where did you learn that? N!!! Come look at your boy, where did he get THAT idea? That's it, Mommy is going to start folding laundry alone. (All part of their master plan) Is this life with boys? I grew up in a female household, things like putting underwear on your head didn't happen. God help me, I need some Valium.

I said so!

Madison's new thing is "I said so!". Apparently, we have given that answer one too many times, because she is picking up on it. Tonight, as I tucked them into bed, though that was nearly 2 hours ago and they are still up, she kept saying "Mommy wait!" Why Mads? "Just wait! Because I said so!" But Mads, it's bed time, we have to go night night now. "No Mommy! It's not nap time! No night night! *insert toddler speak that I didn't understand here*" Yes baby, it is night night time, see? The sun is not out, we need to go to sleep so we can have fun tomorrow. Do you want to go to the park with mommy and daddy tomorrow? (from both kids) "NO!" Ok, well we have to go to bed. "No Mommy! it's not nap time I said so!" Ok, I give up, night sweetie! Give Mommy a kiss? "No! (I start to walk away) MOMMY!! (in that exasperated tone usually reserved for the teen years) Kiss!"
I think she won that round, though I'm not really sure. Either way, I can see the little mommy in her, and something tells me her brother is going to get bossed around frequently.

Song for the moment

I'm just really not feeling up to updating, but I'll try to come up with something tonight. In the meantime, have some song lyrics

"She wants someone to call her angel/ somone to put the light back in her eye/ she's looking through the faces/ and unfamiliar places/ she needs someone to hear her when she cries/ and she says take me away/ and take me farther/ surround me now/ and hold... hold... hold me like Holy Water/ she just needs a little help/ to wash away the pain she's felt"

Anybody? Here's a hint, the guitarist has the words Love Everybody on the back of his guitar, he's known for turning it over to show that at the end of a song.

*** Updated*** Since Cori scrolled down and commented asking for a little assistance, the song is Holy Water by Big and Rich. More country, I know darlin'! 3 years I've lived here now, almost to the day... it has an effect on you!

Not a meme

Tish made me curious. I used to be a Girl Scout. Up until high school I sold cookies outside my mom's store every year with my troop. The were called different things back then, and the names of the cookies the girls around here are selling aren't familiar to me. Being the neurotic person I am, I had to find out what happened to my favorites. There used to be just one bakery that supplied the cookies. ABC Bakers. Now Little Brownie Bakers also supplies cookies. Here's a breakdown for you cookie fans. Carmel DeLites/Samoas are the same. Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs are the same as well. Shortbreads are also called Trefoils, we all know Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Sandwiches are also called Do-Si-Dos, Lemon Cremes are not the same as Lemon Coolers, and I've never had or seen the other cookies. There you go folks, a GS cookie education. And seriously, I know it's like 5 bucks for a dozen cookies, but this is a great cause. These girls learn a lot, and experience great things with the money raised from selling cookies. Buy a box or two, it won't kill you! Give up your latte one day, and enjoy some cookies instead!

10 things I've done that you probably haven't

Per Christine's request, here it is...

1. Had 12 teeth pulled (not all of them were adult teeth)
2. Had 6 addresses in 5 years
3. Witnessed the Columbia tragedy in person, standing on my back porch
4. Broken a pencil point off in my face (it's still there 18 years later)
5. Said "I'm pregnant" to my (now ex)husband while he was holding a loaded M16
6. Attended my parents beach wedding in Key West, all in swimsuits
7. Had sex while driving (well *I* wasn't driving, you get the point)
8. Fished in the "Bermuda Triangle"
9. Stopped breathing for nearly 10 minutes
10. Sorry folks, I can't come up with a tenth one, I've just not done that many interesting things!

Sunday is now Meme day

It's the attack of the memes! I'm going to do some memes today, because Sunday is a lazy day.

bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C /

Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you.

Another Q&A

Daxahol asked me what the craziest thing I ever did was. That's easy... marry my ex-husband. Not only was it stupid, but it came with a long punishment and cost a lot of money. Ask my lawyer, it was by far my most insane moment. Honest. Ok, that doesn't count? How about got my nipples pierced on my 21st birthday. I took the rings out 18 months ago and they still haven't fully healed. I don't suggest anyone try that!

Answers

I only had 7 takers for the Questions and Answers post, so let me answer those now. Christine passed on a meme of sorts, so I'll answer that in my next post. It's hard coming up with 10 things I've done that you probably haven't.

Cori asked what I would be if I had another set of twins, would I be SeeingDouble squared? Yep, sounds about right. Honestly, I think it'd be way cool to have another set, even if my little moniker would need an update.

ShaLovee asked if I could do anything without the fear of failure, what would I do? Hmmm... maybe go to Law School. I need to get my undergrad first though.
AND
Do I keep my peanut butter in the fridge or cabinet? Cabinet of course, who puts it in the fridge?

Cyli asked what color I would be. Well, normally purple, but in honor of being certified, I'd be RED!

The Webwench herself asked what is the first thing I see when I open my fridge? Milk, and lots of it. Most of the top shelf has milk, 2% for us, whole for the kids.

Tish has passed the witness at this time, but reserved the right to question me later. Bring it on counselor!

And last but not least, Puglet asked me what I would name my pug, if I had one. Smooshy? I love pugs, their smooshy little faces are too cute.

Questions anyone?

In honor of my Redhead status (see previous post), I figured I'd open up the comments to questions. Want to know something about me? Just ask. I'm pretty much an open book here anyway, but I figure I'll give any readers who stumble upon my site something entertaining to do. I'll post the questions and answers in my next post. Come on, take your best shot!

Like you didn't know I was Certifiable!!

Welcome! If you got here from Resplendently Pedestrian, you already know... I'm a "Certified Redhead"! Oh, that's not what they meant by "certifiable"? Damn! Well, I'm still proud of my new title and barcode. If you aren't reading the Webwench's site (I just found her a couple days ago, how did I miss this?) Go. NOW! Don't worry, I'll wait... **files nails, checks email, waits for you** She's wonderfully real and just adorable, isn't she?

On to other news, I watched some good movies this week. I love Blockbuster.com, if you haven't tried this, or are a current Netflix user, you've GOT to try it. Oh, yeah... the movies.
Cellular: Very good movie, but I'm so not a Kim Basinger fan. I can't think of a single role I've liked her in. Definitely worth renting anyway.
The Forgotten: Julianne Moore? Love her! She plays an awesome role in this movie, with a hell of a twist. Even N was impressed with this choice, he hadn't heard of the movie before it came in the mail. Creepy plotline, keeps you guessing, good movie. I loved Anthony Edwards in ER, and he's got a short role in this.
(For the family) Shark Tale: Listen folks, I haven't been to a theater since my 20th birthday. My kids were newborns, I was still married to Jackass. You do the math. I hate going to the theater, I'd rather rent the DVD, so I hadn't seen this wildly popular kids movie. It was fun for the whole family, definitely one I might consider buying, if only because it's easier on the brain than endless Dora DVDs.

Reasons being a mom can suck: I've noticed I ALWAYS have an abundance of posts on Friday night. N works nights, and his days off are during the week, which means my Friday nights are lame. My only entertainment? Blogs and Yahoo Messenger. My brother-in-law (an almost 20y/o college kid) signed on, and I sent him an IM which he ignored. He's probably partying with his friends, so I can't blame him. Ah the childless days of partying all weekend are a distant memory now. :)

WTF is this stupid TX weather. 2 days ago it was in the high 70s, we all wore shorts and tees to Mads' final Xray appt on Wednesday. (The leg looks AWESOME! She's healing beautifully) Yesterday and today? Bitter fucking cold. WET and bitter fucking cold. Only in TX, I'm telling you! Ok, Ok... I'll shut up now. Have a great Saturday!

Song of the moment

I'm currently addicted to "Gone" by Montgomery Gentry. I think I need to start a little thing in my sidebar like Christine, it's just such a cute idea.

(Sidenote: While typing this post I hit the lever that moves my chair up and down, and quickly lowered mid-sentence. Only I could manage to do that, I swear I'm retarded.)

Furious

Something was charged to my credit card in error, and I called to have it refunded. I did my part, and expected the company to actually refund the money to my card as they promised. I got my bill in and low and behold it was not refunded. So, I replied to the email they sent me to confirm the refund, adn asked WTF was the problem. (I was nicer than that, have some faith in me people!) The lady responded back with (paraphrased) "We did an internal investigation and pulled up the timeline of events. **insert list of events ending in cust refunded $56.90 on 2/10/2005** (this part is verbatim) Due to a glitch in the payment processing system, we cannot refund the money directly back to your card, you need to call your credit card company to get your money back." WTF?? I've worked for my credit card company, I know there is no reason I should have to involve them at this point. I email back asking where the money was refunded to if not my card, since in the list of events it OBVIOUSLY says refunded. She tells me it was not, in fact, refunded, I need to request a chargebacl through my CC company. Now I'm boiling mad, I've already told her I will contact the BBB if this is not handled immediately, since I incurred charges from them charging my card by mistake, and this was just unacceptable that they would not put the money back as promised. The customer service rep's emails were poorly written, with horrible punctuation (this coming from someone who is not the best writer to begin with) and this is probably the shittiest business practice ever. So, tomorrow I will call my CC company, and file a report with the BBB. What a wonderful hassle for a mistake that was not even my fault. Shitheads!

Such a whore!!!

I'm going to bump this post so anyone who is interested can get in before the rates go up. Come on, you know you wanna!
Helping me keep my sanity is one of the many reasons I blog. Since starting my blog, and reading many others, I've found wonderful people to talk and email with. People who have been through similar experiences, people who share my beliefs and opinions, people who disagree with me, aspiring writers, stressed out parents, city dwellers, country folk, and people from other nations. When writing your blog you can speak your mind, regardless of what anyone else thinks of it, because it's so simple to just move on to the next if you don't like what you see. This is unique compared to other online adventures because it filters through the masses of surfers, and helps you connect to individuals you want to connect with. The one thing we all have in common is blogging, and it's become an important part of many of our lives. Well now there is a web mag for us, something that celebrates, informs, promotes, and connects bloggers and blog related topics. In honor of it's debut, Blogging! Magazine is offering 2 free issues, so you can give it a try. Looking to promote your blog and increase your traffic? You can advertise in Blogging! Looking for a new host, a better template, or sites to help you make the most of your blog? Blogging! promises to deliver! Articles written by bloggers, reviews of blog-related services, interviews, and more will all be sent to you in a digital PDF magazine using Adobe Acrobat Reader. So, why not give it a try? If you don't enjoy it, there's no harm, no foul... but if you do, you can subscribe at a great price. Let me say this again... 2 FREE issues, and if you don't like FREE STUFF, you're crazier than I am. Just give it a shot... come on, all the cool kids are doing it!!

*** And for the record, I'm not being paid for this, nor do I benefit from you signing up. A blogger many of us know and love has asked some of his blog friends to pass it on, and because I think this will be a great project, I'm happy to do so. Enjoy!

Huh?

Someone out there found my site from searching "Poke her" on Google UK. Personally, I suggest not poking her with a sharp object, it's mean.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys...

We were watching Cops earlier while making dinner, and when the theme song came on Shane said "Fire, Daddy! Fire!!" because to him anything with a siren is firetrucks. We told him no, this was police officers, like Pop Pop (he's only met my dad once, my parents live on the East Coast), and he ran into his bedroom. He came out with a toy cowboy gun, went right up to the screen of the TV, and pointed. Now this isn't meant to start a debate on toy guns, but if you read my blog before you know my policy on hate mail. :) We just cracked up laughing, because he was so serious, pointing his little weapon at the bad guys on TV. My sister was obsessed with Cops from about 18 months old, she would run around the house singing the theme song. I can't wait to tell my dad his grandson is another little devotee to his favorite TV show.

Reasons I'm so glad TX has express lane death penalty

TX is known for carrying out death sentences quickly , and people like this guy make me happy about that. This won't make as big a story as Laci Peterson, but the murdered woman was 7 months pregnant, and her 7 year old son was killed as well. I can't even express the hatred I feel for this guy and others like him.

They said it was advanced!

I've come to a realization in my adult life, and I think I'll have to do something about it. If I don't I'll be completely useless when helping my children with homework, let alone if I decide to homeschool. I never learned the real "basics" of English, the stuff you need to know to write a sentence. Honestly, I shouldn't be allowed to have a blog, but dammit, this is America, and free blogging is an American right! Or not, whatever. Oh, yeah... my point. In 5th grade I was put in a creative writing class instead of English class with my peers. It was an "advanced class" by invitation only, and I was so proud to be in it. We wrote poetry, short stories, and other "creative" projects, while our classmates learned to do frivilous things like use punctuation! Bah! Who needs to know how to conjugate a verb, or the what a participle is. (Is that even right or am I making stuff up? See? I seriously lack in this department!) Though I've known for a while that I really have no clue what I'm doing in this department, the recent chatter about the self-esteem article brought this to the surface. I didn't really belong in the creative class, I'm smart but not altogether creative. They put me there because I got high scores on standardized tests. Granted I have always been ahead of my peers on the learning curve, but did that mean the school decided they didn't need to teach me certain things? In 8th grade our district decided it was a good idea to mix the advanced English/reading classes with the remidial. It was bad for the remedial kids' self-esteem to be in a separate class. I spent that year HATING a couple of kids who could barely read, while they stuttered through simple paragraphs. THAT'S bad for self-esteem, those poor kids were made fun of relentlessly, because that's how 8th graders work. It was also horrible for the rest of us because we were bored, and unchallenged. Let's talk about high school. I doubled up math classes Freshman year so I wouldn't have to take one Senior year. This meant that Junior year I had the option of Calculus or AP Statistics. I still have my AP statistics workbook as a reminder, I damn near failed that class. That was a rough year for me, and I was WAY out of my league in AP Stat. Even Freshman year Geometry, I just do not get geometry. I had the same teacher for Alg and Geometry that year, and he knew I was just barely gonna make it through the Geo 1 class, no matter how well I understood algebra. Why am I rambling on about high school? Oh, I remember. (see what I mean about the attention span?) The end result of my schooling is I can write a haiku and solve X, but somewhere along the line I managed to skate through never knowing how to properly use my native tongue. The saddest part is I'm better off than some.

The stages of return, start at the bottom!

under the table, and pissed off

drying off

Bathtime

They're baaaaaack!

The cats are back in the house. I was standing at the back door smoking a cigarette, and the door was open so I could talk to N. All of a sudden he yells "Callie just ran back in!!" and sure enough the muddy little furball had returned. We gave her a bath, risking life and limb, and about half an hour later Squeaker appeared. I've got pictures of her bath, she has fluffy hair, it made for an interesting sight. Wow... my life is so boring, I'm reduced to talking about my cats. I feel sad, I'm going to go eat some ice cream now!!

The latest from Miss Obnoxious

Miss O lives in CA, has one child, and doesn't want to work outside of the home. She's actually been talking about selling Avon or something, just to make some money to buy another vehicle. She is constantly telling us what new expensive thing she has bought, or how her hubby is working extra jobs besides the military.These are 2 recent (untouched by me) threads she started.

"He had a meeting today with the boss of his home exteriors job this morning because he's bascially sick of how unorganized they are. From everything including payroll, phone etiquette, basic respect, and everything in between, that company is lacking. So today he went in and gave them an ultimatum and they were being wishy-washy with that so he said it's yes or no...Still no answer so he quit. Simple as that. Only the funny part is that he walked next door to the vanishing screens company that just bought the building next door, said that he wanted a job doing outside sales and was hired on the spot. He has to train for the next few days but the pay is pretty much the same which is great. It just cracks me up how easily he can get a job while other people I/we know have been searching for a while. But I guess that's the perk of loving sales... there's always a demand for salesmen!"

"DH and I went to look today and get price quotes so we know how much to save and what we need to do to get the monthly payments we want. I love the Tahoe, love the look. But the bad thing I saw today was that the third row had literally no feet room. It didn't drop down like regular feet room does. I think the floor started like 6 inches below the seat. I think I've read that car seats aren't a great idea for 3rd row seating (I wouldn't prefer that anyway) so what good does a #rd row seat do if there's no feet room? So the Suburban has the feet row I like, and need for the 3rd row. But it feels too long for me. If I could have an SUV between the length of the Tahoe and the Suburban i'd have the perfect vehicle. But I don't want to feel like I'm driving a bus. I like Chevy so I want to stick with them. They have great resale value if I ever need to resale it later in life and DH and I will get the 3k GM loyalty rebate since we already own a Chevy. So, once again for those who have experience or know of someone with experience of either of these vehicles, let me know what you think. Gas prices are not an issue as I already know i'll be paying a pretty penny for that but everything else is what i'm oncerned about."

Now there are people on this board who are struggling pretty bad, job loss, downsizing, illnesses, whatever you can imagine, and I thought it was tacky of her to rub it everyone's face that her husband just waltzed from one company to another. Whatever, we already knew she was a tacky bitch. Then, the whole SUV thing came up because they have 3 cars already, and one baby, but are trying for another. She wanted to buy a big SUV when they get pregnant again. She's been trying since July, and is whining about it. There are moms miscarrying, moms on Clomid and doing IVF, and she's all "Oh my GOD! I'm not pregnant after 6 months of trying!! It only took 2 weeks last time!! WAHHHHHH!" Um, can we all say insensitive? So next was the Kirby incident, how she was going to write it off, but she has this wonderful expensive vacuum, isn't it great? Now back to the SUV, and how she NEEDS a third row, but it doesn't matter if it's a gas guzzler, even if she lives in California. Because ultimately, having a 3rd row SUV is a dire need!! She's WAY too cool for a minivan, and she needs all that leg room for her imaginary friends to sit in the back!! Look, I'm all for people spending their money however they want. You want to drive a Hummer? Whatever! I just cannot fathom having so little class that you need to flaunt it in a community of women you don't really know, where many members struggling in this economy. The pregnancy thing? If she gets pregnant that's wonderful, one more spoiled child for the USA. The rest of us used tact and gentleness while other moms were having trouble conceiving, or were losing pregnancies. She is just a crude, insecure person, one I'd avoid like the plague if I could, but I value the other members I've come to know in my 2+ years on this board. Don't you wish some people could be banned from the internet?

I think I'll buy a boat!!

You know part in Corky Romano where he's trying to talk to the kids all jacked up on coke? What?! You didn't see Corky Romano? Ah, forget it! Anyway, that's what my attention span is feeling like today. I tried to sit down and read some of the blogs on my blogroll, but I can't seem to concentrate. My apologies if I haven't left a comment on your blog, it's not that I'm not reading them (well, besides today), it's just that I haven't got anything useful to say. I promise to lay off the caffeine (ok that's a lie, I just checked my Coke can for the spelling of "caffeine") and catch up with everyone soon. Oh, and for those who are concerned, we're a couple of softies in The Nuthouse, we've decided to let the cats back in, even if it means kittens. Unfortunately, they are no where to be found right now. They'll come back, right?

Am I Next?

I could be the next CCL. Well, actually, I'm at a crossroad that I have to choose my path. We woke up this morning to the back door open, and both our cats were outside. They've never been outside before, and we had sworn if they ever made it out, they could never come back in. This was the agreement between me and N, from day one. (They've never been brave enough to walk out before) Add the fact that the older cat was in heat, and we know she went to find herself some fun. The younger cat is not old enough to have kittens yet, but she went on an adventure of her own. They are both sitting at the back door now, wondering when we'll let them in. I'm about to go put their bowls outside, and leave it at that, but I'm a bit heartbroken. We've had Squeaker for a year, and Callie for about 4 months. They tear up the curtains I sewed for the living room, scatter litter everywhere, and pee in corners, yet I will miss them.

And people wonder why I remarried so soon!

I was only legally divorced a couple months before I remarried (N and I had been together over a year by then). I had been separated from my ex for about 6 months when N and I got engaged. People generally look at me as if I'm nuts, but when you know, you just know. He can drive me insane, but I have the sweetest husband in the world. So, to my wonderful husband, who had a blog friend of mine post a sweet message to me, I love you. Who wouldn't love a man is this sweet...

Yesterday, once he went to work, he called pretending to be taking a survey, and asked what my husband could to to make me smile when he came home in the morning. I told him I ould love a macchiato, but Starbucks© wouldn't be open yet. :( I woke up to find a note taped to the bathroom counter telling me to look in the fridge, and on the kitchen counter. In the fridge I found 2 bottles of Frappuccino©, and a Double Shot© with instructions to mix together and heat to make a Triple Caramel Macchiato. Come on smile... that's cute! (I decided to drink just 1 Frap. cold instead) On the counter was a box of Krispy Kremes© 2 with rainbow jimmies for the kids, and a couple of my favorites. Fast forward to the afternoon, we went to run some errands, and he insisted on buying a new computer chair, since I was currently using a broken dining chair. Then, we went to the scrapbooking supply store, and I bought some fun things to work on my scrapbook. The reason he wanted to buy all these things? Because he knows I am on the PC a lot, and I enjoy relaxing and working on my scrapbook, and he wants to make me smile. If that doesn't make you go "Awww" you have no heart!! With that, I'm going back to work on my scrapbook. I hope everyone is having a good Saturday night!

The Crazy Cat Lady

I actually know 2 Crazy Cat Ladies (CCL), but the one I'm going to tell you about lives across the street. I live in a rural area, and we moved here because we couldn't stand the neighbors at our townhouse, it was a street full of people with no respect for other's property, kids climbing on our cars, trash thrown everywhere, loud music all hours of the night, it just sucked. Anyway, we live on an acre right now, but there isn't much privacy between us and the people across the street. This lady feed cats outside, not cats that she "owns", but just strays. Her entire front yard will be covered with at least 75 cats, all up on her porch, on the grass, running around. The guy next to us has chickens, which come on to our property, and the kids like to chase them. The chickens are brave, because they also venture into the sea of cats congregating at chow time on CCL's yard. Chickens like cat food too, so it's just a major feast over there. Now, this wouldn't even faze me, except the cats then roam my property all the time, and I'm sure every other neighbor can say the same. Ever walk out your front door at night and see glowing eyes next your car? It will scare the living daylights out of you sometimes. They will also trip the sensor to our motion light, and I'll occasionally get spooked when 'm home alone, and the light flips on. I'm actually pretty used to it, my parent's house is in the woods, and had the same problem with deer setting on the motion light, but every once in a while it gets you. We've only talked to CCL a few times in the last 6 months, but we know she has an adult son who is handicapped and lives with her. Being out here, you don't see many people, and human interaction is scarce, so maybe the cats are her way of having company. I don't know how many she lets into her house, but it's not a large home, so I can't imagine she takes them all in. Either way, my 2 female cats are never allowed out, but when they drive us nuts we threaten to send them outside to live with the CCL, and never come back. The local strays probably spread the word that this is the place to get chow. "Hey Fluffy! Notify the contact chain, we've got a feeder!" Meow code? A meeting at the local scratching post? All I know is there are more each time I see them, and soon we humans going to be overthrown. If I suddenly disappear, you'll know what happened.

Austin

Must. Step. Away. From the computer!!! Seriously, I'm dragging myself offline to go to Austin today, because I'm tired of the same four walls. This should be fun and interesting, because Austin, TX is always an interesting place to be. I promise to bring back stories of freaks and snobs I run into today, and I also have a crazy cat lady to tell you about. Have a great day!

No place like home

I actually started this post with a whole different topic in mind, it didn't quite work out as planned. Anyway...

I grew up in a small farm town in South Jersey. My family has lived there for generations, and my whole "block" was made up of blood relatives. The Middle school separates my uncle from the other houses, it's baseball fields back up to my parent's property (which was WAY convenient when I was running late and missed the bus! ie: every day) That property used to belong to my great-grandparents, they sold it to the school board, if that gives you any idea of how long we'd been there. I recently asked my Grandmom about the generations I don't remember, and things I never knew. I'm really lucky to have grown up with my extended family around, one of my cousins is 10 months younger than me, and like a brother. We shared a playpen many times, and my Aunt joked I was her "oldest", she had 5 kids instead of 4. I asked Grandmom how we came from Mt. Holly, NJ, where my great-grandmother grew up, to Tabernacle, and the story she told cracked me up. My great-grandparents got married, and my great-grandfather was living with an aunt and uncle in Tabernacle. This was back in the mid to late '30s, and apparently they did things a lot different. He brought his bride home with him, and his aunt, upon hearing a female voice in the house, confronted him. He told her "It's ok, I got married!" and that was that. There was one problem though. They didn't have indoor plumbing in the house, they had an outhouse. My great-grandmom told him "Ill only move there if you put a bathroom in" (she was accustomed to city life, this was totally unacceptable to her) and she gave him 3 weeks to do it. Well, I knew this woman, she had a big hand in raising me, until she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when I was 15. This is totally her, I can just picture her handing down that ultimatum. He did put that bathroom in, and she stayed, and got pregnant with my grandmom. This wasn't the house where I knew them to live, but was across the street. After Grandmom was born, my great-grandmom wanted to move out, because the aunt had dementia, and great-grandmom was worried she would harm the baby. They bought the old house across the street, and spent forever remodeling it. We talked about WWII, and how my great-grandfather was drafted when Grandmom was a baby. She told me about my great-grandmother working in the factories while he was at war, all of the things you read in history books about the depression, but it becomes real when it's your family's history. I asked how our family acquired all the land we have now, which is now her sister's house, the store, and the properties my mom, uncle, and their 2 cousins all built houses on. A TON of land, plus the Middle school property. A lot of the land was given to repay a debt to my great-grandparents, though I don't know what for. The rest was bought, because the owner died, and my great-grandfather disliked the people who wanted to buy it. The man who liked everyone? Seriously, this man was known for being friendly, he loved to talk to people. She told me how the general store came to be, turns out the building attached to the house had been a store years before, and she was bored one day in the late 1950s, so she re-opened it. My uncle now runs it, has since I was a baby, and it was all on a whim. I listened to her tell me about the Grovatts, the Hillman's, the Parks' and all the other families in the town, she grew up with a generation, my mom grew up with the next, me the generation after that. It's really amazing to look at a small town like that, and the degrees of separation involved in so many decades. She would point out the ties from us to one family, or another, and how the people she knew related to the ones I grew up with. My uncle was mayor for about 10 years, and in a town that small everyone knows everything. Politics put us under a microscope even more than normal. The rumors you'd hear during campaigns were horrible and hilarious at the same time. Privacy was non-existent in my childhood, because there was always someone that would say "You're Tina's little girl!", and though you didn't know them, they obviously knew your mother. Honestly, for all of that, I still miss it a lot, and would go back in a heartbeat if I could. What was my point? Oh, yeah... bloom where you are planted, but always know where your roots are.

Name that tune

This isn't the song I have stuck in my head, but I'm trying to coax that one out, so here are some lyrics. Yes, Cori... it's country, but I promise to pick another genre later tonight. :)

"There's a carrot-top who can barely walk/ with a sippy cup of milk/ little blue-eyed blonde with shoes on wrong/ 'cuz she likes to dress herself/ and the most beautiful girl/ holding both of them/ yeah the view I love the most/ is my front porch looking in

Get a clue!!!

I always leave my Yahoo! Messenger on "invisible" status, because there are a few people out there that I'd rather avoid talking to. About a half an hour ago I decided to turn it to "available" in case anyone I do want to chat with is not busy. Well, wouldn't you know... one of the people I "avoid" IMs me, and I haven't talked to this person since before Madison broke her leg (Thanksgiving weekend). **sigh** It's been months, don't you think they would get the message by now? I'm too lazy to give everyone a new screenname to contact me, and I don't want to be rude (ok, that's a lie) so I try to have an abrupt convo with said person, basically trying to blow them off without being a total bitch. I think I'll go back into hiding. If you're reading this, you know where to find me!!

The search beings

Someone came here from this Yahoo search. I definitely am ashamed. Must. Attempt. To Quit! Grrrr... stupid addiction!

So bored!!

N is working tonight, and there's no one to talk to since everyone is celebrating with their honey. I'm bored... anyone out there?? Oh well... I guess I'll go clean something.

Only because I love you

I really like the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Those guys crack me up, there are jokes I've heard over and over that still make me laugh. Tonight, on Comedy Central, they showed the original, and the newer one "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again" I've seen both, and listened to each comedians albums, but I watched it anyway. I'd never heard of these guys (except Jeff Foxworthy) until last year, so it's new to me. Now, here's my plea to Ron White... we might need to start a petition or something.

Ron, darling, I think you are hilarious. Really, I do. And to be honest, you were even kinda sexy in the first BCCT. Your Sears bit? Gets me every time, that is some funny shit! ("It fell off. It FELL OFF! It FELL the fuck OFF!" priceless!) Then, when Blue Collar TV came out, I wondered "Where is Ron?" Jeff, Bill, and Larry were all in the show, but you only showed up in guest appearances. Well, those guest appearances made me think "Man, Ron is drinking a *whole* lot, he looks like shit." Ok, maybe it was just the thrill of the success, you were having an extended celebration. Then came "Rides Again". Oh. My. God. Honey, you looked like a lush in some seedy lounge, the one who stumbles up to you with a lame ass pickup line, and spills his drink in your lap. I know you just got re-married, you're wife should not let you leave the house like that. Come on Tater, you are a funny guy! At least you were before the alcohol took over. Drinking may have been part of your bit, but damn! The jokes? They were the same ones from before, and weren't even as funny now that they are slurred and recycled. Please... go to the Betty Ford clinic or something. While you are there, write some new material... after the shakes wear off, that is. Come on, Ron, put down the scotch, take a shower, get a haircut, and start over. Believe me, it's time. When Larry the Cable Guy shakes his head at you in sympathy, you know you're in trouble. Good luck, man!

Insomniac Hell

!!! Tish: Don't read this, there is mention of carb-a-licious treats! Don't say I didn't warn ya this time!
I currently have scrapbooking supplies strewn all over my bedroom floor, and was pasting the last peice of a page down when I ran out of the adhesive roller. Great... not I get to be pissed off that I'm thisclose to finishing the page and there is one loose photo. I should really pack it all up so the cats don't destroy it. My incentive to take my butt to bed is N coming home in the morning with Krispy Kremes, and if I'm lucky he'll surprise me with Starbucks, though I forgot to ask. Yet I sit here on the computer like a fool at 2:45am, unable to sleep, and torturing myself with thoughts of a triple venti caramel machiatto. **sigh** On the bright side, the kids went to bed without a hassle tonight, of course they woke up 20 minutes ago, so it may not be a bright side after all. Is insomnia genetic?

Another song

Candy man tempting the thoughts of a sweet tooth/tortured by the weight loss/ program cutting the corners of a loose end/ loose end cut cut/ on the fence/ cut not to offend/ cut cut

Come on Cori... how about this one?

Frustrations

Generally, I try not to blog too much about my ex-husband, he just generally doesn't warrant space here. Tonight I am going to write about the "current events", because I need to vent these frustrations. He's pretty much been a non-participant in the kids' lives, and we're fine with that. He was abusive during our marriage, and is no longer the type of person I want influencing my children. A little background... We had planned to split custody before we formally started divorce proceedings. Things started to not add up with his behavior, and I finally felt I needed to request full custody, and discuss restraining orders. We battled on this for a few months in court, where I was ripped to pieces and accused of the most horrid things. Finally, the attorney ad litem found out he had been arrested for DUI 6 months earlier, but had managed to conceal it until he was sentenced, at which point it was in the paper. He had been driving the kids around on a suspended license, and none of us knew. I was granted primary custody, and there were strict guidelines to visitation because of his DUI. He's in the military, and was being uncooperative with signing papers and handing over financial documents, so I finally got in contact with his chain of command for assistance. Well, there were more surprises to be found. He was being kicked out of the Army, and had been lying to them about various things in the divorce. Namely, he was saying we were still married and therefore collecting benefits from the government that he was not entitled to. I brought them up to speed on our divorce, showed them that not only was it finalized months earlier, but I had remarried, and needed my name and social taken off his papers. His command warned him to not use my social or the kids' for any reason, including taxes. Well, I filed my taxes with N this week, and it was rejected by the IRS, because my ex had used my children's' socials and claimed them as dependents. I went immediately to his 1SG, and was dealt yet another shock. He's being court martialed instead of chaptered out. There wasn't just one DUI, plus he had been caught with drugs on multiple occasions. The final straw that led to the court martial was forgery of government documents and impersonating a senior non-commissioned officer. Now he had added tax fraud to those charges. Basically, they can't actively help me clear up the tax thing (the IRS will do that but it takes 2 months or so), but the 1SG said "If they want to press charges, we will turn him over." Mind you, my ex has not even told us he's leaving the military (we would need to know since the children have health care through him) let alone the rest of the sordid details. Thankfully, he has not tried to take the kids for visitation, I'm terrified to think where he would run with them given the chance. Luckily, this isn't like the civilian world, the military has him on restricted duty pending the CM, he can't go anywhere alone. I'm really just angry and frustrated that I've spent thousands on this custody battle (and owe thousands more), almost lost my children, and no one would listen to me. The judge didn't believe me, and I couldn't prove any of it at the time, because he had been flying under the radar, so to speak. The military tends to keep things quiet whenever possible, and he had avoided the civilian police 99% of the time. Now, I can't afford to go back to court, and he has every right to take the children out of my custody, provided he follows the court guidelines. (Unless the military sentences him to jail time) It's my job to protect my children, and my hands are somewhat tied. For someone with anxiety disorder already, this is pushing my mind to the darkest corners of worry and fear. My family keeps asking "What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he doing this?" and I honestly don't have an answer. All I know is when you have nothing to lose anymore, you'll try anything, and that terrifies me.

A new thing

Ok, I love music. I relate my emotions to music, and most important moments in my life have a theme song. So, because I always have a song in my head, I'm going to post lyrics from time to time. Feel free to guess the song if you'd like, or make fun of my taste in music. Other than that, just try not to get songs stuck in your head because of me!

"Cause I'm "go for" and, chauffer and, company chairman, coffee maker, copy repairman, any more there ain't nothing, I swear man, that I don't do. Been jugglin', strugglin', closin' big deals, dancing backwards in high heels, just when it feels like I can't make it through... She said it sure is nice to just be the woman with you."

Do huh?

Dooce is talking about penises today, and I've learned something new. See, I've never taken an anatomy class (no, that's not what I learned, I have kids remember?!) but did you know that (at least some) anatomy classes dissect human penises? Ok, now like I said, I don't actually know, and maybe she's making it up for humor, but huh? I guess med students need to take that class, but I definitely could not be a doctor. Where do you sign up for that donation?! Does your driver's license say organ and genitalia donor? Man, that's gotta be bizarre.

The Other Side

**Gasp** I had to go talk to a Republican politician today. I know, I know! Liberals everywhere will think I've converted to the dark side. (Now don't go freaking out on me, I'm under a lot of stress and trying to find humor in it!) Seriously though, I had to visit our Congressman's office. Rep. John Carter (ER anyone?) has been enlisted on our side in a fight with the Department of the Army. You see, N served 6 years in the US Army, was an honorable and capable soldier and leader, was discharged honorably in 2002, and decided to re-enlist. No problem right? We've been through all the hoopla that comes with becoming a federal employee, background checks, statements, fingerprints, psych evals, medical evals, the whole freaking 9 yards. This is a lengthy process for prior service, but worth it since N would get his old rank (Sgt.) and everything back. No basic training again, no starting over. We are 3 months+ into this process, and the light at the end of the tunnel is shining bright. Yesterday, our train derailed BIG TIME. As in "Sorry N, you are barred from enlistment into the Armed Forces, so you have a nice day. Buh-Bye now!" Turns out that a police record from Jan 2004, that they have known about ALL ALONG, is suddenly a problem in the Army's eyes. Here's where it gets messy... you cannot enter the armed forces with certain criminal backgrounds. However, the police record is only that, court records show N was *not* charged with the alleged crime, and the courts have told the Army so. The officer's narrative is simply the opinion of the officer, and was later proven to be incorrect. I was there, people!! I was there when he was arrested, I went to court with him, we cleared his name, it was all cleared up in front of a city judge. So, based on Army regs N *is* eligible for enlistment, and the police record is simply a formality that must be disclosed. An eligible, capable, well-trained soldier is ASKING to be re-enlisted, which is his right, and the Army refused. The same Army who is hurting for soldiers, who cannot enlist enough soldiers to fulfill the needs of our military, the Army who is using a back-door draft of reservists to fill Active Duty slots turned N away. How many of you know National Guardsmen or reservists who were activated to go to Iraq? That happened because there were not enough soldiers on active duty. Well, we knew someone had screwed the pooch on this one, and set out to prove it. We pulled the enlistment regulations, and marched into our Congressman's office. The representative for Carter's office spoke with us, reviewed our documents, and agreed. He told us they are opening a Congressional review of it, and we are feeling pretty confident the enlistment will go through quickly. The funny thing is, the rep told us most people come to them looking for an exception to the rule, but we were simply asking for the rules to be enforced. Hopefully, the rules will in fact be enforced, and N's civil rights will be recognized. Why am I blogging this? Because it's one of the most intimitdating fights I've been a part of, but it's also an important one. For those of you who pray, to whomever you pray to, please say a little prayer for us. This is hugely important to my family right now.

Like, Gag me with a spoon!

I'm totally not into Valentine's Day. I just don't think it's worth the hassle. I don't like it with a boyfriend, I don't like it with a husband, I would not like it here or there, I would not like it anywhere! (Yeah, yeah I read too much of the good Dr.) I just think it's a waste of time and money. You want romantic? Take me to dinner on a night when the restaurant doesn't hike up the prices. Buy me flowers when they aren't at a 200% markup. Tell me you love me everyday, not just because it says 14 Feb on the calendar. (I should point out that I'm very lucky to be married to a man who does all those things, but I'm trying to make a point here!) Don't get me wrong, I'm all for romance and sweetness, but not by some Hallmark© holiday rules. Honestly? I dread the idea of choosing a gift for the Hubs, because everything seems either too girly, not personal enough, cheesy, or just plain too expensive. I don't want over-priced flowers or chocolates, and I don't want to give him over-priced flowers or chocolates. What kind of flowers do you buy a man anyway? And if you ask a man what he thinks a good V Day gift is, 99 times out of 100 he'll say "Sex". Yeah, yeah... I get it... all guys want sex, but feeling obligated because you bought flowers is so UNsexy. "Oooh baby, I'm so glad you can read a calendar. Here's your reward." Anyway, call me cynical, but I HATE this holiday. Too bad the Hubs is a diehard romantic, so we'll celebrate anyway. Anyone have a good gift suggestion? I haven't got a clue what to get him.

**editor's note: N, I know you read this blog... please don't be offended for my lack of enthusiasm by V Day. It's not you... I just suck majorly at this stuff! You should know that by now.

Dress the damn statue already

The Philly Curse lives. There were a few moments during tonights Super Bowl game that I thought I'd have to eat crow. Genuine called Philly as Super Bowl champs a few weeks back, and I nixed it, because anyone who lived in the Deleware Valley knows Philly teams choke. I'm not a football fan, but damn I wanted to see the Eagles win tonight. Do you know how long it's been since ANY Philly team won a championship?? 1982-83 season, the 76ers. I was in utero during that game. We've been to plenty of championship/playoff games since, but never all the way. I am a big Sixers fan, I cried when they lost to the Lakers a few years back. We all knew it would happen, and were pleased that Philly at least kept the Lakers from sweeping the playoffs, but it was still a huge loss. A couple years before that, the City of Philadelphia stopped their tradition of dressing up the Billy Penn statue with the appropriate gear when one of the tems was in the playoffs. It was said to be a jinx, and the tradition died. So I'm hoping they will re-instate that tradition now, since time has shown it didn't make a difference. The fans love it, so bring us a little joy here! The Eagles played a great game tonight, but the Pats made less mistakes, and now go home champs. Bah!! Who needs a dynasty, Philly just needs a freaking win! (And yes, I know there are other cities who have not won in forever, but this is my hometown!) Better luck next year... now let's go Sixers!!

Thank You

I just wanted to post a Thank You to another blogger whose story helped me. You know who you are, and I appreciate your courage to share.

Seriously the most fun I've had in days!!!

Michael Moore Ate My Banana Monkey Face

What's Your George W. Bush Monkey Face?

WTF?

The folks over at Gmail have lost their minds. I got rid of my initial 5 invites, and then had 4 more. I just checked my mail, and noticed I now have 50 invites to give away. I realize it isn't mandatory to get rid of them, but I couldn't get rid of 4, let alone 50!! Funny thing is, I was just feeling pathetic and miserable for my lack of a social life, and Gmail had to remind me just how small my circle is. Thanks.... Anyway, if you are one of the 5 people left on the planet who need an invite, you know where to get them. Cjaping at Gmail dot com.

Type A

The music meme a few days ago had me thinking "Where the hell are all of my files? I *know* I had more DMB songs on here!" so I went a-searching! Well, for some reason half the songs I DL are not making their way into my Windows Media Player library, and therefore go unnoticed when I'm making a playlist. This means N and I tend to re-download things, and make a big mess. Now, regardless of how you feel about file sharing, I've been doing so since Napster was the new big thing a few years back. I'm not giving it up anytime soon. I've only had this Dell pc for a year or so, but I've got a ton of music on it. The problem is not all of them are labeled correctly since some people just do not know who sings what, how to spell, or the correct names of songs. It's not uncommon to search a FS network for a song, and find it attributed to 10 different bands, 3 different titles, and usually something like "Mike's Shiznit". This means my laziness has caught up with me. I **could** have re-named the songs as I acquired them, and they would all be nice and organized, but are you new here? That would have made sense! Now I get to go through and re-name, delete duplicate files, and just generally make sense of the whole production. This should be interesting considering N and I don't always have the same taste in music, and I don't know a single song in Slayer's entire history. Maybe I should just format the whole drive and start over...

Wahhhhh!!!!!

I'm bored, and having a really shitty week, and tired of staring at the same things... I know! I'll blog!! Oh, but I really don't have anything to say but "Waaaaaahhhhhhhh!" Seriously.

Publik edjukashun

Someone got here from a yahoo search for "Desparate Housewives", meaning I'm not the only one who misspelled it. I feel better now!

Inappropriate

This post over at Sarcastic Journalist made me laugh, because I'm the same way. It also reminded me about the commercial I've been meaning to blog about. I actually had to wait until I could show the commercial to N, just to make sure I wasn't the only one who noticed it.

There is a Fruit Roll-Ups© commercial for the tongue tattoo roll-ups. In the commercial the "lab techs" look at a kid's tongue and say "Slammin". The female "tech" grabs the tongue with tongs and takes off across Hell's half acre to show someone. The tongue is stretched all the way to the person she wants to show, then she releases it and it flies back towards it's owner much like a measuring tape recoiling. The doors to the Fruit Roll-ups Lab© slide shut, and it gets stuck between them. Every time I see that damn commercial I think "That looks like a dick! That's horrible!" And since N agreed that it does indeed look like a dick, I know I'm not the only crazy one. It's not like you didn't already know I was nuts.

Art

Amber posted a neat link, so I made a little "painting". (press "view in gallery" or "skip to end" to view the finished product) Maybe I should sell it on Ebay. Or not...