MajorDad's Rebuttal

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Idiot of the Week 3/20/06-3/26/06

LatteMan came to the rescue with the winner of Idiot of the Week. Man parks car, gets on train, forgets baby in the car. Anyone want to take a guess how long his wife will be making him sleep on the front porch?? "Hmmm, got my wallet, briefcase, cell, keys, PDA... yep, good to go!! Yet, it feels like I'm forgetting something. Oh well... off to work!!"
Yes folks, we have a clear winner here!!

BUSY

I didn't even get a post up for idiot of the week yet, so if anyone had any suggestions, please leave them in comments. We've been quite busy, with some work/personal problems, dealing with idiots and liars is always fun. Anyway, um... yeah... I am not ignoring you, I'm trying to keep up with the million cool blogs I read, but dammit, 24 hours in a day is not enough!! Anyone figured out how to clone me yet???

Some food for thought

Cori emailed me this link, definitely a thought-provoking piece.

Complete Bullshit

Wow, that sure was fast. They convicted Sgt. Smith of 6 of the 13 counts of abuse he went on trial for. He's here at Riley, which I was unaware of when I wrote my previous post (I guess I should read the post newspaper more often) and I really wish I could go see him, shake his hand, and tel him how sorry I am that the system fucked him. He'll be sentenced later today, this should be interesting. You know what chaps my ass the most in this case? September 11th terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui has been in custody forever now, and the crimes he committed were in 2001. We STILL can't seem to get his trial moving at any kind of decent speed, they are trying to delay it, trying to drop charges, trying to call the FBI liars to get him off on conspiring in the biggest mass murder in US history. However, a soldier lets his dog scare a couple of terrorists, and we convict him in less than 18 hours of deliberation. That, my friends, is BULLSHIT. What have we become if we can't punish killers, but we can ruin the lives of those defending our freedom from said killers?? Oh, and for those of you who haven't been paying attention to the news this week, Bush has asked us to look past the bloodshed in Iraq and see the good happening there. I guess the 2,219 US soldiers dead as of right now is a small price to pay, especially when we are doing such wonderful things as convicting our soldiers of abusing terrorists in WAR. I mean, didn't you get the memo?? We're supposed to invite them to tea and krumpets, and ask them to pretty please tell us when they plan on killing us. DUUUUHHHHHHH!

I guess we got lucky *updated*

Apparently we're the lucky ones, because while all of the areas around us are getting pounded with snow, we got about an inch, but then it's been sleeting all day. So, we have a nice, cold layer of slush. YAY! Happy Spring!!

Update: Spoke too damn soon, we're getting some more snow now. Maybe we'll get lucky and N won't have PT tomorrow... one can hope!!

Lessons learned

I've been learning a couple of valuable life lessons lately. There are very few people in this world who you can trust, and all too often people that you think are your friends are really out to stab you in the back. This is especially true in today's military life, it's one of the darker sides to our unique world.

Nate and I grew up in small towns, where everyone knew you, and your family, and had for generations. Most of my life was spent with the same friends I had gone to pre-school with, people that I had known since I was in diapers, whose parents had gone to school with my mom and uncle, etc. Back home, there were always people you could trust, you could depend on them, and we would all give the shirts off our backs for one another. We are still like that, but when you're military, and you move around a lot, you have to learn to make friends quickly, or stay to yourself. Of course, after I got stabbed in the back by a few military wives I had made "friends" with at Ft. Hood, I made up my mind to not get too close to anyone, because apparently I have SUCKER tattooed on my forehead. Hey, I'm not perfect, but I try to be a good friend, and not to hurt anyone, but it seems to mean drama will find me. Regardless, being social creatures, we made some friends here, and I broke my own rule of not allowing anyone to get to close to us.

It's usually pretty easy for the guys to create tight bonds, especially if they have been deployed together. The wives usually end up friends by proxy, because you always need someone to help you stay sane when your spouse is gone. Secrets are shared, recipes traded, favors exchanged and so on. Unfortunately, there always seems to come a point where things go wrong, usually because of the other stress thrust onto us, one too many deployments, a few too much time in the field, etc. Sometimes it's a divorce, sometimes it's a falling out between spouses, sometimes some bad blood between the soldiers, but whatever the reason the former friends are now sworn enemies. It's never as simple as "You leave me alone, I'll leave you alone, done." because the soldiers still have to work as a unit, there are mandatory events to attend, and so on.

Ultimately, it's the one thing I hate most about the military life. We actually thrive on being a military family, not everyone can, but we enjoy it. It is challenging at times, but can be greatly rewarding, yet when it gets ugly, it is really ugly. The good news is you can always move onto the next post, and work with a clean slate. Now, how much longer until we can leave this place?

The one thing I never thought I'd say

It's damn near blasphemy for an Eagles fan to say they like the Cowboys. My dad would stroke out if he heard me say I just might have to become a Dallas fan, because they are signing T.O. Honestly, we all know T.O. is an ass, and that he doesn't always play nice off the field, but he's such a great player, and entertaining as hell, so I'm glad he'll be playing again this season.

Who doesn't love new shoes??

Meet my new shoes... I ordered the black strappy ones last night... nothing like retail therapy after a bad day!!!

Category Help PLEASE!!!!!

The wonderful Laura hellped install categories on my site, with the instructions I had from another blogger, however, I'm not pleased with the way PicoSearch works. Do any of you have cetegories on a Blogger site?? Can you tell me how to do it? I'll love you forever and devote a whole post to how wonderful and intelligent you are if you can give me a hand with this!!! Come on, SOMEONE muct know a good Blogger hack for categories!! MUAH!

Idiot of the Week 3/13/2006-3/19/2006

This was too easy... sometimes the idiots just fall right into your laptop!! Man sues after hitting his own car. Wow... no wonder people think Americans are idiots.

Some military discounts and freebies

I came across this while looking for details on T-Mobile's military discount program, and was pleased to find some of the major theme parks have extended their offers for free or discounted tickets to their parks, including Busch Garden parks, which means we'll be able to take the kids to Sesame Place when we finally make it to NJ for our visit. Check it out if you are active duty or retired from the armed services, and see what discounts are out there for you! These aren't just theme park discounts and travel, but stores like Goody's, and other places that will offer you a discount with a valid ID!! Go on now, check it out!

OH. MY. GOD!!!

Remember Swiffer's Amazing Woman of the Year nominations?? Well, the asshole at IT2M that reviewed my site thought I had that post up to beg people to nominate me, but that was the furthest from the truth. In fact, I had it up because Swiffer sends me free things and asks me to review them, so I'm on their list to promote events like this. Anyway, I digress... I nominated the FABULOUS Grace Davis, I really could not think of anyone more deserving than a woman who so selflessly gave her time, money, and energy to organize relief efforts for families affected by Katrina and Rita. I had to actually let her know ahead of time, so I could get some contact information from her (to which she responded "Why do you need it? ARE YOU COMING TO VISIT? I expect to see you in the next 48 hours!!!" because she is just that sweet!), but honestly, I had no idea what kind of response this thing would get, or if she would make it to the semi-finals. Well, I got a phone call this morning, and she has been chosen as a semi-finalist!!! She doesn't know it yet, since it's still early on the West coast she's in Austin for SXSW, but I cannot wait to call and congratulate her. In the meantime, head over to her personal site, (and check out her relief blogs if you somehow missed them) and let her know how amazing she is!!!

I need a clone, a private island, and a cabana boy with some tropical drinks

I'm drained. Really. The kids, the house, some unexpected things to deal with in the Insanity household, helping one friend with her divorce and pending move, having my feelings hurt by another friend who has seemingly blown me off, dealing with insurance companies, daily chiropractic appointments again just to feel normal, spring cleaning... blah blah blah, the list goes on. We might be moving sooner than we expected thanks to BRAC, or we might get stuck here (oh HELL no!!) there are decisions to be made, stacks of papers to fill out, a million phone calls to make, and just a general sea of life crap dumped in my lap. I'm in desperate need of a clone, so Cori and I can run off to some private island where 21 year old cabana boys will bring us tropical drinks, and no cell phones are allowed. I'm seriously considering hiding in our friend's truck when he leaves here for Cali at the end of the month, just so my Cori can come rescue me and I can then kidnap her. Of course, the husbands and children might start looking for us... damn.

Looking up *random update*

Today started off better than expected, for sure! A call from my doc saying he'll call in a script rather than go through the hassle of an appointment. Hang up the phone, rings again, call from the insurance company of the person who ran into us last week (he was trying to deny responsibility and we've been FREAKING out over that), they are covering the claim and setting us up with a rental while our van is in the shop. So, we can get our sliding door fixed and not have to worry about transportation during the repair. Get the mail, my new debit card came in, since mine was deactivated last week when Visa had a little snafu in their system and some card numbers were compromised (which led to an embarassing situation at the store, when my card wasn't working after banking hours and I had NO idea why!) Not a bad start at all!! Perhaps I should buy a lottery ticket? Nah... why press my luck?

Update: In order to activate my card, I have to go to an ATM. Since my bank is a Texas bank, there are no in network ATMs, which mean even with a balance inquiry I incur a $1 charge from them. They now think I'm nuts, because I just called and asked them to refund that charge, considering I had to activate a new card last month when mine expired, and incurred the fee then. Yeah, it's only a dollar, but WTF? Why should I have to pay for Visa's mistake, just so I can use my freaking debit card?? *sigh* This stuff always happens at *that* time of the month, which just puts me in a fighting mood. Also raising my blood pressure today was the complete incompetence at Enterprise, where we had to get our rental while our van is in the shop. After calling when we left post (20 minutes away), then calling while at the bodyshop (5 minutes from Enterprise) we had to wait another 30 minutes for the stupid people to pick us up. Finally, when we couldn't get through on the phone the body shop told us to go over there, get our rental, leave the keys to our van their, and they would go pick it up, because we obviously have a little bit more to do with our day than sit around with our thumbs up our asses waiting on these idiots. I go to pick up the rental car, a new Trailblazer because they were out of vans, and the thing looks like it took a cross country mudding adventure. The guy tells me not to worry about cleaning it before we bring it back, but we're going to have the thing for 10 days at least, and it's white, we're NOT driving around this truck looking like we pulled it from the swamp. So, N is doing Enterprise's job now, and washing their damn truck. This is why I NEVER rent from them, and if it weren't for the fact that it's not my insurance picking up the tab, I would have walked 3 steps to the left and rented from Hertz. I HATE incompetence!!! IDIOTS, ALL OF THEM!! Still, it hasn't been a bad day, just the minor annoyances of people who can't do their job or act like normal human beings.

Again, I ask... who the fuck cares about them??

Not the accused soldiers, of course, I care deeply for them. The detainees who were "abused" are the ones I couldn't give a shit about. America has two more in it's sight, ready to put them in front of a firing squad for doing their goddamn job. Oh, the poor prisioners in Abu Ghraib, they were mistreated and not given the royal treatment!! WAHHHH!!!! The soldiers scared them, and made them feel like criminals!! The poor things!! What about the Americans who were blown the fuck up, or tortured and beheaded by insurgents?? Fuck the Geneva Conventions, our soldiers have to follow the rules while the enemy gets to make it's own, and then they come home and go to jail, or get kicked out of the service, because they did what they had to do in WAR. It's not a playdate, buttercup.... it's fucking war... it's you or me, buddy, and I want to go home to my family. It's no secret my husband hasn't served in OIF yet, but I've still seen the damage first hand. I've been to the funerals, I've sat next to friends who have PTSD while they twitch and jump in their sleep, I've seen the scars, the limps, the guys missing limbs, the widows with young children, the alcoholism, the drug abuse, the absolute HELL that is left in the aftermath of this little project we have going on in Iraq. I've listened to the stories of horror and terror endured while serving in Iraq, young adults who will spend the rest of their lives reliving those moments in their head, unless they drink or medicate them away, or commit suicide to make them stop. Don't forget, folks, we're not at "war" anymore, but we still lose soldiers nearly every day. We're "winning the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people" while they throw grenades at our soldiers' feet and plant IEDs for them to run over. Now, this incident happened during the actual ground war, the same time as the other "abuse" in this now infamous prison. I say "Job well done, Sgt. Smith, and Sgt. Cardona. Hooah." It's a goddamn shame that the other soldiers like Charles Graner and Lynndie England went to prison for doing exactly what they should have, and the unfortunate reality is these two sergeants will probably face the same fate. It's complete bullshit, and an insult to ever soldier who risks his or her life for this "project".

Curious George

We took the kids to their first theater movie today. I know I've mentioned my complete hatred for movie theaters, but we wanted to give the kids a cool experience, so we took them to see a matinee of Curious George. Unlike Cori, I've never been a big fan of the little rascal, but this movie was CUTE!! It was perfect for our kids, because there wasn't anything they would have been frightened by, but still funny enough to not bore the crap out of adults. The kids had a blast, except for some trouble with the fold up seats, which made paying a week's salary on popcorn and candy totally worth it! So, that's twice in less than 4 months, when I hadn't set foot in a theater in over 3 years. I'm getting weak!!

Nevermind

Trip home cancelled. Tickets to game up for sale. :( Oh well, such is life.

Idiot of the Week 3/6/2006-3/12/2006

Well, LatteMan found another contender for Idiot of the Week, and I'm not sure if this one is an "idiot" or just plain ignorance. At least this one knew she was pregnant, and decided to go shop for some last minute items for the baby, at Wal*Mart. Well, during her shopping trip she delivered the baby... with the help of the Wal*Mart management team. I barely trust those people to ring me up correctly, letting them pull a human out of my cooter is out of the question. I suppose you do save a lot on those pesky hospital bills... Clean up in Layaway!!

How do you say Spam en Espanol?

It seems spammers have figured out how to get past my Gmail spam folder, by sending spam in Spanish. I suppose it might have been a good plan, but I took French in high school, so the message was lost on me. I think the subject line had something to do with becoming a millionaire though, maybe I should have asked my friend Yeida to translate. Oh, well...

Give me a fucking break

"I didn't realize I was pregnant!!" is the biggest crock of shit ever. I've been pregnant, so I can safely say it's something even the most airheaded chick figures out after a couple months. If you are old enough to have sex (which is debatable here since she's 13) you are old enough to understand that sperm + egg = BABY, and that if you are gaining weight, your period stops, and you keep getting nauseated, you might be pregnant. I hope this child's mom smacked her upside her head, and put her on some birth control. I'm just glad it wasn't an American for once, I'm tired of us always being the idiots. So... it's only Tuesday, but I think I've found my Idiot of the Week, unless someone can trump that!

Might as well taken his wallet too

Joaquin Phoenix got ROBBED at the Oscars. I didn't watch it, I'm not big on awards shows, but he DEFINITELY should have won for Best Actor in "Walk The Line". I cannot believe he lost to the guy from "Capote". Has anyone even SEEN "Capote"?? I've read "In Cold Blood", but really couldn't care less about Capote's life. The only thing I know about the writer is that he was strange, or at least that's how my grandmom described it when we were discussing the book. I defintiely think Johnny and June Carter Cash are way more interesting. So anyway, the guy may have had a spectacular performance playing Truman Capote, but who the hell cares... it can't possibly hold a candle to Joaquin as Johnny Cash. At least Reese Witherspoon won for Best Actress, the night wasn't a total loss.

A near-stroke (A girl post... fair warning!)

Ever wonder how to give yourself a mini-heart attack, and nearly stroke out? If you are a guy, look away... girl stuff ahead. It's my blog, and I'll write about it if I want to! You've been warned. Anyway, I'm bad about tracking my periods, and since we decided to put baby-making on hiatus, I haven't been tracking them well. The last one I remembered included a trip to the hospital while N was in the field. So, I'm frantic, thinking I'm late, but got a negative pregnancy test. I do the reasonable thing, and go back through my message archives with Cori, you know, because those things ocassionally come up in our conversations. Realize trip to the hospital was 41 days ago... nearly stroke out, then decide to think rationally. Grill N about 4 day weekend, "For the love of GOD man, did I have my period that weekend? I should have! PLEASE TELL ME IT WAS SO!!!!" Ahhh.... it was. Not late. Not pregnant. Will have period on vacation. DAMN IT! **sigh** Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I was a guy...

The lip ring

Nate got this pic with his cell while I was getting ready to go out. As you can see I am less than impressed at being caught in my "unfinished" state!


And just to prove that I DO look happy every once in a while, this is me and our cutie friend Danny at Rusty's Last Chance, which was listed in Sports Illustrated as the #12 Sports Bar in the country. Of course, that's giving the KState people the title of "sports fans", but whatever...

Why my husband is the coolest person ever

It's no secret to those who know me that I grew up near Philly and am a DIEHARD Philadelphia 76ers fan. We're going on vacation in a week to visit my parents. My amazing husband got us tickets to see the Sixers play the Hawks in Philly, section 105, Row FOUR. Oh. My. GOD!!!! It's not exactly on the floor (we do live on military pay, remember?!) but it's still close enough to reach out and touch Allen Iverson if he inbounds from that side! I've never been to a live NBA game before, and while I expected to eventually see them play in Dallas or San Antonio, seeing them at home is a huge deal to me! I will be taking lots of pictures, so prepare yourself for the onslaught. So. EXCITED!!!

Like the new digs? I think Laura, from Swank Web Style did an amazing job. So, a big thank you to Laura, for putting up with me, and I highly suggest you check them out when considering a blog makeover. Their talented designers, great prices, and quick service make them tops in my book!!

George Bush: Heaven or Hell?

A friend, and fellow Texan, posted this on a message board, so I had to share. Note the factoid at the bottom, it's sickening.


Now for a public service announcement...
Red Bull and Blue Curacao, plus Corona and lime do not do a body good. Everything SEEMED Kosher last night, but I assure you it is not this morning. Happy hangover...

Too funny

Nate came home from work today (why yes, they DID have to go in at 0545 today, we were SO pleased about that!) and told me to read this. For anyone who knows the life of a squad leader, I promise you'll laugh your ass off. Some high points? Counseling for failure to make coffee for the dayhos, snobishness, when the counselee is the counselors sexual partner, and counseling armed soldiers, and counseling lieutenants. I almost cried when reading the part about LTs. It wouldn't be as funny if it wasn't so damn true.

A true sign of being swamped.

Most of my Bloglines subscriptions had 15 or more posts unread. I suck, bigtime. And I only made it through half of them tonight, but look!!! Something SHINY!!

A little excitement to jumpstart the night

Ok, as if there wasn't enough going on around here, I was TRYING to get some cleaning done, and went to the car to get the XM receiver, so I'd have some tunes to keep me entertained. Hmmmm.... there are an awful lot of MPs on my street. Huh... well, maybe there was an argument. No... wait... there are 2 MPs standing at the end of my driveway. Nosy me, I ask if everything is ok.
"Yes Ma'am, but we need you to stay in your house. There's been a bomb threat."
"Um, I was just going to get something from my car. Bomb threat... um, do we need to leave?? My kids are sleeping in there!"
"Well, you are less than 200ft, hold on... where is the kids' bedroom? (I point above us) Let me talk to my partner, to see what we should do."
I go inside, wake N up, who is OUT COLD from a new medication he's taking, meanwhile the MPs knock on my door and tell us we SHOULD in fact evacuate for a while, until they get the dogs out and figure everything out. UM... HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!
We grabbed the kids, and went to Yeida's, 3 blocks away. Poor doll was asleep, she got up and let us all crash until the police finally called and said we could come home, about an hour later. I have NO idea what happened, or how it started, I guess I'll have to read about it in the post paper, but DAMN... what a way to find out... do you think they could have given me a courtesy knock on the door or something, considering we may have been in danger?? It's been a bad month here, shootings on post, escaped soldier who was under court martial, an attempted murder, now this. Welcome home, boys... let the fun begin!!

Just to prove my mind has officially left the building

Ok, I go to check my gmail acct, and notice that it seems Military.com all of a sudden decided to send me the last 3 weeks worth of newsletters, WTF is up with that?? So, I delete them, still confused by the occurance, and then realize I've apparently emailed myself. It wasn't until AFTER I deleted the email from myself that I realized my husband had never logged out, and I was looking at his inbox. Um, wow... it only took me 2 minutes to figure that out, I might still be in the running for "Idiot of the Week".

I'm still alive and not ignoring you!

The total lack in comments lately is probably because I haven't been visiting your sites, and have been pretty MIA lately. I am SO behind on my Bloglines feeds that I am afraid to even look, but don't worry, I'll have plenty of time to catch up this weekend. In the meantime, I've been swamped with real life, my ex husband is coming to visit the kids (thus the extra time this weekend, I'll have no mini-tyrants running around!) and I've got a stack of paperwork as tall as I am for my little fender bender last week. Gotta love insurance!! So, I promise, I'll come see all of you, really I do still heart everyone!! In the meantime, some interesting things of my day... I found an Iraqi 10,000 dinar with Saddam on it in one of my old notebooks, (no I won't tell you where I got it), in mint condition. I'm sure it's something collectors might be interested in, but to me it's just this bizarre and interesting piece of paper that I'd forgotten I had. I used to have monies from all over the world, because my grandfather worked overseas and would collect such things for me, and I have no idea what ever happened to them, guess a call to mom is in order. A discussion on geneology on another site prompted me to renew (or rather upgrade to an adult membership) my registration in the Mayflower Society, and to start the papers for my children to be registered, which is just more paperwork "fun". I seem to enjoy making my life complicated, but I figure I owe it to my children and the rest of my family who did the research on our lineage to keep up with it. I know Ammie is interested in such things, I'm sure some of you have also looked deep into your family tree. Any interesting ties out there? Spring cleaning has begun, and I keep stubmling across the strangest things, things I had either forgotten about, or never realized I had, which is surprising since we've moved so much recently. Speaking of moving, N and I are discussing his career options, schools, assignments, just general direction of the next couple years to further his Army career. Throwing a nice little bit of spice to that is the brand new regs on tattoos, allowing tattoos on hands and necks (previously not allowed, although exceptions were sometimes made like N's wedding ring being tattooed on) and now he wants to get his hands worked on. It's hard because it's a passion of his, but it doesn't always appeal, the tattoos he has now have caused him to meet poor reactions in professional situations, any more visible tattoos can make or break a promotion or job offer, even the article in Army Times discussed the cons of it for NCOs. Ahhhh, the world of body mod... will it ever be fully accepted? Probably not, and that's ok, we like standing out. Speaking of which, I keep asking N how long it's going to feel as if I have a fish hook in my face, he's never had a lip piercing, and Jake had one get infected, so meanwhile I'm seriously wondering how insane I am to subject myself to such pain. Note to self, facial piercings do not heal easily. I don't remember having this much trouble with my tongue, but then again it was right around my 21st, and I spent a lot of time intoxicated. This post has been brought to you by my completely scattered mind (I'm seriously more out of it than usual this month, and cannot wait for March... this has been the month from HELL), once again proving you really are taking a peek into my insanity. I'm off to catch up on some email... anyone have suggestions for "Idiot of the Week" yet??

One Smack Only

I submitted myself over at IT2M to get smacked, and found the review up today. Ok, so it was bad, only one smack... I'm bummed, but hoping to get resmacked with some changes to the site. Of course, you don't get to pick your reviewer, and I got the one I would least like to choose if given the chance, but hey, no use crying over it, right?? Anyway, thanks to the Bitches for the traffic, although I have to say I AM pissed no one had anything to say for Randy and the other fallen soldiers I had devoted the previous post to. I'm probably just a little sensitive about that because it should have been Nate. There's a long and personal story behind that, but Nate wasn't supposed to be out of the Army at that time, Randy was his "replacement", and my husband is alive today because only because another man is not. Pay a little fucking respect to those men and women, they aren't just names on a list.

For Randy *UPDATED*

We just had to look up the exact information on the death of one of Nate's friends and former soldier, so we could have a memorial bracelet made. I never had the pleasure of meeting this young man, but he was my age when he died, just barely an adult, but fully a hero. Nate had the pleasure of serving with, training, and pinning Randy to Sergeant, Randy actually took over Nate's position in their squad when N left.

This post is for SSG* Randy Rosenberg, of Berlin, NH, who is survived by his young widow Misty, and so many friends and family who love him dearly.

KIA 2004Jan24 Khalidiyah, Iraq by a Vehicle-based IED. SSG Rosenberg was assigned to B co 1/9 Cav, Fort Hood,TX

*promoted to Staff Sergeant post-humously for his honorable service and ultimate sacrifice.

This isn't the only person Nate or I know who lost their lives in Iraq, and I'm sure most of you know at least one as well, so remember each and every one of the 2273 2276 soldiers who have died to date.
They haven't been forgotten.

Idiot of the Week 2/13-2/19 Part 2

Tax breaks up to $25,000.00 for people who buy gas guzzling SUVs like the Hummer and the Excursion. No, that wasn't a typo, the $3,100 tax rebates for people doing the responsible thing and buying Hybrids are a mere drop in the bucket considering the $$$ AND "prestige" of driving the Big Boys. The shared Idiot of the Week award goes to the Republicans who thought up that idea. I may be biased, but I think this actually TRUMPS my self-piercing, making me runner-up. Let's take a vote!!

Lips part 2 AND Idiot of the Week 2/13-2/19!!!!

I went and had the other side of my lip done last night, by a PROFESSIONAL, and it is coming along much better. So, in light of my incredible stupidity in insisting N pierce me himself, I am awarding Idiot of the Week to myself!! I may add a bonus IOTW if I come across anything INCREDIBLY stupid, but for now, I take the cake. I'll post pictures as the swelling from the home iercing subsides.

Patience is a virtue, Stupidity is a curse

Patience is not something I have a lot of. I had decided this week to finally get my lip pierced. Normally this wouldn't present a problem, except there are about 6 places in a 40 mile radius, and they all open and close at stupid hour. (Monday and Tuesday noon-8, Thursday -Sunday noon -8 kind of thing)
We'll Nate and I have had our share of time in body mod studios. We've seen this done, it did a little research, and decided we could to it ourselves. I wanted to go get a piercing gun from Walmart, but N didn't feel comfortable doing it that way, so a thick needle won out. Can I just say OWWWWWW??????
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
We had trouble getting the hoop in, and finally gave up op the capture bead and just closed off the hoop instead. Did I mention ow?? Yeah.... so N feels really bad, but I practically begged him to do it, so I'm really no mad. Just sore. Send popsicles.




Christine asked for it... blame her if you are grossed out!!!

Update: Shortly after taking this picture, something told me it was not a good idea to keep it in, so I took it out, and will let the professionals handle it next time. The only shitty pat=rt if having so few parlors in this area!!

Idiot of the Week for 2/6-2/12

I almost forgot, y'll need to remind me and send me stories!!! Since I'm late on this one, I'm awarding our esteemed Vice President as Idiot of the Week, for shooting one of his buddies on a quail hunting trip. Quail are smallish birds, right? How do you mistake a small bird for GROWN MAN, that you know is with your party?? DUH!! Maybe he needs his eyes checked. At least there was a medical team there, since they are part of Dick's entourage in case his heart gives out again.

Tagged, part 1 ***Repost for Phil***

Major Dad tagged me with this meme (and Phil tagged me again!!), and I have nothing to talk about, so I cheerfully abliged. BTW, go check out Phil's site. He's a soldier, and although he and I don't agree on too much, he has a very interesting site about life on the "inside".

Four jobs I've held in my life: Deli clerk, bartender, sales rep, and customer service in a call center.

Four movies I could watch over and over: As Good As it Gets, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Lady and the Tramp (yes! the Disney version!!), um... that's it. I'm not a big movie buff.

Four places I've lived: Tabernacle, NJ; West Palm Beach, FL; Fort Hood/Killeen, TX; Fort Riley, KS

Four TV shows I love to watch: Roseanne (reruns on Nick at Nite!), Desperate Housewives, Over There, Wheel Of Fortune (I kick total ass at that game!)

Four websites I visit daily: Gmail.com, Bloglines.com, my online banking, Yahoo.com

Four of my favorite foods: Pizza, crispy chicken salad, manicotti, brownies

Four places I'd rather be: Texas, New Jersey, the Florida Keys, hanging out with Cori

Four albums I can't live without: What the hell are albums? (KIDDING!! Don't throw things at me!) Under the Table and Dreaming~ Dave Matthews Band, Before These Crowded Streets~ DMB, Live at Red Rocks~ DMB, Crash~ DMB (Can you tell I'm a huge fan?!)

So, I tag you. Yes, *you*! Leave me a comment if you play along.

Ewwww

Once again, the search results amaze me. I had not 1 or 2, but 10 different hits for $e*ual relations with one's mom, or admiration of one's mother's a$$. EWWWWWWWW. What the FU{K is wrong with people?!?!?!

A lag

You'll probably see a lag in postings for a little while. One of my best friends is getting a divorce, and moving back "home", so my days are spent dealing with insurance from my accident, and crying my eyes out. If you come here looking for happiness and sunshine this week, you might as well keep on moving. I promise I'll be back in the near future, so in the meantime, check out some of my commentors' blogs, and stuff on my blogroll. Oh, and send me idiot of the week submissions, I could use a good laugh.

Another do-over

Today, while dropping off donations for the Disabled Veterans thrift store, I backed into someone. It's my first accident, she wasn't in her vehicle, so luckily she wasn't hurt. My van has just a bit of surface damage to the rear right quarter panel, but her car's whole left taillight housing was ripped out. I almost cried, she was sweet about it, but I've never been so embarassed.So, we'll be dealing with the insurance company this week! Yay!! Also, we got newe id cards, and the lady who worked there was SO evil, I ended up complaining to the manager, and demanding an apology. She was called in to apologize, and her apology consisted of looking away from me, and saying "Im sorry, but.... blah blah blah". I told her I'd appreciate an apology without the "buts": we have a thing in our house that apologies don't come with "buts". She begrudgingly apologized, and I took what I could get. The supervisor told me he wants to fire her, but being a goverment employee it's nearly impossible, so I guess this isn't the fisrt incident. I'm goign to apply for a G pay job, those people make decent money, and I can do a MUCH better job than many of them. Asshats!!!

Then, I cancelled my Children's Place card, and had N cancel one of his higher interest cards. Hr spent 73 miinutes on hold, he was *going* to keep the care if they would match our rates from other cards, but after over and hour on hold, there was basically notihng they they could use to retain him. Oh, well, their loss!!

We cut Shane's hair back into a mohawk, per his request, and he looks SO cute!! All in all, it's not been a fun day, and I'm ready to go hide for the rest of the week,

The winner for "Idiot of the Week"

And the winner is....
Mr. Pot Dealer!!!

If you didn't catch the story, and 18 year old called the police in Utah because someone broke into his house and stole the pot he had intended to sell. The robber had broken a window and cut his arm. The police caught the guy, and called the "owner" to come identify the weed. He did, and was promptly arrested for possession in a drug-free zone with intent to distribute. DUUUUUHHHH!!!!

In the crosshairs

I looooooooove The Childrens Place clothing. However, there are thousands of children near most military bases, yet TCP never builds a store less than 40 minutes away. OK, fine, there is the website, which is shitty at best. When you finally get fed up, and drive out tho bumfuck to get to the clothes (which are affordable, and well made, they usually last my kids a full year if we buy a bit big), you're happy to just get what you need and leave. Well, I have a TCP credit card. It's issued by a bank that is another word for metropolis. This means you call one number for TCP issues/orders, and another for credit card issues. THEN they have this program that you can earn points, and be issued a 10% off pass after a certain amount of money spent. This involves yet ANOTHER number, because there are invariably problems with using your rewards. So, even with all the stresses, I LOOOOOOOVE their clothes, and buy them almost exclusively for my children. Now, with my CC, I asked for a credit increase a couple months ago, and was denied, even though I have NEVER been late, and often pay off in full. (My divorce ruined my other credit, but this card and a few others are spotless) So, I spend hundreds a year, to be given the run around when I need assistance with an order, and then I'm denied a measly $200 more in credit. I. Am. Pissed. So, I made my final payment tonight, and when their banker's hours open next week, I'll be telling them where to shove their goddamn card. What ever happened to taking care of the customer? What happened to treating them with respect, and giving them advantages for being a good customer. Three years of faithful spending with these people, and they don't give a shit about me, so fuck them. P I S S E D!!!! I guess I'll buy off Ebay, or find another company who knows how to treat good customers. So, this is to make up for all of the wonderful recommendations I've made to other moms, encouraging them to shop at this store. Don't bother, you aren't worth shit to them.

Idiot of the Week 1/30-2/5/2006

I am going to go a little early with the idiot of the week this week, because my weekend is going to be insane. I'm still taking stories, so if you've come across anything extra stupid, pass it on to me!! For now, the nominees are Mr. "Someone stole my pot" (a quick nod to Phil on that one), Miss "check forger who can't spell" (sadly enough, I know someone who made that mistake forging military documents) and 100 Swiss policemen who don't have a clue amongst them. Who do you think the award should go to? I'll take votes in comments until tomorrow afternoon!!

Houston?? **updated**

We have a problem. You see, we were planning on buying a big screen TV on Friday, just in time for Super Bowl. We're hosting a SB party here, and N got a little excited and invited every. one. we. know. I'm serious, if you HAVEN'T been invited, it's only because you haven't run into N in the last week. So, we're planning on squeezing half of Fort Riley into our small house, but the "main attraction" was the TV. Except everyone in this state apparently had the same ambitions, and there are NONE of the TVs that we wanted, in our price range, ANYWHERE in 150 miles. (Well, I can't say none, because I plan on hunting one down tomorrow, if I have to rent it from one of those rental places.) Oh, shit. So, I get to spend the next 2 days desperately calling every retailer in NE Kansas, hoping to find a TV. Shit, shit, shit. Actually, fuck, fuck, fuck. I think this dilemma calls for a "fuck!" or three. As if the rest of the party prep, plus N being in the field wasn't enough!!
On a brighter note, he was promoted today, I got to attend the ceremony, pin him, AND stick him with the pins. (Tradition, but some people complained like little whiners, so the military doesn't allow it as "hazing" anymore, but I'm not military, so bite me) It was a pretty cool experience for me, I am so proud!!

Update: Problem solved, thanks to our friendly Ripoff Rent-a-center. I figure a 1 month rental (the minimum allowed) for under $200 is a small price to pay to save my husband's ass (and mine by proxy) from humiliation. Happy Super Bowl everyone! Party at my house!!

Is the job REALLY that bad?

I cannot figure out this whole "postal shooting" thing. Apparently, a former postal employee killed a bunch of people at a mail processing plant, then herself, this week. Another victim, her neighbor, has been found as well. So, what is it with these people?! Why do postal workers lose their shit and kill everyone?! What is so freaking stressful about that job that they need to start shooting people? I think it's been a while since a mail worker went looney, I was a kid when the term "go postal" was really popular. So, what gives? Why all the disgruntled employees? They get paid well (considering it's not a job that requires much education), get good benefits, and a hell of a pension plan... I just don't get it. My job is harder than that, and the pay fucking sucks. Any postal employees want to chime in on this?

Attack of the meme

Cori had tagged me for this meme, but I wanted to wait until I talked to my mom, since it asked abotu childhood stories. So, I didn't forget, Cor... here you go!

1. Hum a jingle of which you know all the words.
How the fuck to you hum in type?! Anyway... Hmmmmm hmm hm hmmmmmmm hm hm hi hmmm hmm. It's the Backyardigans theme song, an earworm for me.

2. As a kid you played a board game over and over. And you cheated, you little bastard! What was the game?
I really didn't play too many board games, being an only child for most of my life. I did play cards though, my great-grandmother taught me to play card games. I cheated at Solitaire, how lame is that?

3. What is the name of a song you've been singing incorrectly all these years? What were you singing, and what should you have been singing?
I'm really good at lyrics, most of the time, so I can't think of one. I did, however have an embarassing moment when I was about 10, over the song I chose. We were in Key West, and I picked "Why Don't We Get Drunk" by Jimmy Buffett. My dad asked me why I chose that song ("Why don't we get drunk, and screw?" is the hook) and I told him it had a good beat. I really didn't know what the lyrics MEANT at the time, and couldn't figure out why they were laughing at me!!

4. What is the most embarassing childhood story your parents always drag out just to fuck with you for their own private enjoyment?
Um, I had to ask my parents, since they generally don't tease me much (granted, this may change when they meet N in March!!) There was this trip to Cape Cod when I was 11 or so, to visit my grandfather. It was us in one car, and my parents' best friends in another, all with NJ tags. By the time we get to CT I'm bored out of my mind, and pipe up with "LOOK! Another car with NJ plates!!" like it was a miracle of biblical proportions. My dad teased me the rest of the way to the Cape, saying "What are the odds of THAT?!" Then we got there, and I (remember, I'm too old to be having tantrums at this point) had a meltdown, threw myself on the ground, and freaked out. They took a picture of me, and when they showed me later I completely denied it, claiming they were tickling me. My mom found that picture this weekend, I'm sure I'll see lots of it when we visit!!
See? I wasn't always the poised and articulate being you see before you today. Ok, even *I* can't keep a straight face there! I tag no one, but invite everyone, this is a fun meme!

Rough and tumble

Right now my children look like abuse victims. I swear these two can get more bumps and bruises than any other beings on this planet. We've already discussed Maddie's inability to sit still, which leads to things like the bruise on her cheek, and the scrapes on her legs. There have been more than a few times the kids have bruises down their spines from jumping off things or falling down. Shane's got a bruise on the side of his nose from a fit last night, as well as bumps and bruises from roller skating yesterday. So, tell me the truth... is it just my kids? I'm just waiting for CPS to come knocking, thinking we've been torturing them. *sigh* How do you teach equilibrium?

"Oh Shit!!" moment of the day

Nothing like an "Oh SHIT!!" moment to get your blood pumping on a Monday. Mine came about 20 minutes ago when I realized I forgot to put my wedding rings back on after my shower. Ok, no biggie, I'll go get them. They aren't where I left them. OH SHIT! Ok, don't panic, they are surely still in here, let's look around. OH SHIT!!!! OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!! I can't find them!! Fast forward through 20 minutes of frantic searching, and the missing rings were finally located underneath the kids' bath toys. Pass the Xanax, I can't handle this shit! Is it too early to start drinking?

Idiot of the month

I've decided to do an "Idiot of the week" post, with the stupidest person or people in the news. Since it's the last week of January, these people win for the whole month. From now on, I'll choose 1 of the weekly "winners" for the idiot of the month award. So, if you stumble across something extraordinarily stupid, don't forget to send it my way.

A nice hat tip to MajorDad for this gem. What's the thought process there? "Wow, I'd REALLY like to get that John Deere tattoo, but I don't feel like driving all the way to the tattoo studio. Oh, here's a guy with a homemade machine, he can do it for me!!" (BTW, artists get upset when you call it a tattoo "gun", it's a machine!) So, dipshits in this apartment complex let some door-to-door tattoo guy use his homemade machine to give them some ink, and only God knows what else. Then they got sick. Well, no shit! So, these retards in Springfield, MO win the "Idiot of the Month" for January 2006!! Congrats, and don't forget to take that penicillin.

Love it! (NSFW!!!)

My wonderful hubs told me about the Kid From Brooklyn. Even better, he got the link from a Major in his unit! It's hilarious, check out Bat Day, under Videos. Make sure there are no kids or bosses around, and turn up the speakers.

Be afraid

Host Name 70-58-53-237.eugn.qwest.net
IP Address 70.58.53.237
Country United States
Region Oregon
City Eugene
ISP U S West Internet Services

If this is you, I'd be VERY careful what you search from now on. You're lucky I don't call the police in Eugene, Oregon on your sicko ass. That is all.

Bite me

I hate my cable company. Thankfully, I have satellite TV, but my fucking internet is always wonky. I hate that there is only one cable company we can use on post, I'd switch to Cox in a heartbeat if I could, but noooooo... Charter has a contract here. So, I pay for shitty service, and have no other choice. Just like Sprint and local phone service, fucking monopolies. Anyway, I'm having an insomniac night, and every time I go to check something out, it takes for-fucking-ever. I'm so not in the mood.

Some random thoughts.
I was watching Maury today, and they had transgender and transexuals on. The one dude, who was born a woman, had changed to a man with hormones and all. The thing is, I think his testosterone levels were too high, because dude was so hairy he looked like he was wearing a sweater. And? He had male pattern baldness. Now, I know MPB comes from genetics, but how the fuck does a biological woman end up with it?! Totally strange.
This post was bad enough when we first moved here, but now we're getting all of the troops back from Iraq, and it's a freaking madhouse. Apparently, people just do not know how to drive, or even live like normal people. There are huge lines everywhere, you'd think they'd hire more clerks in the stores considering the rapid influx of troops, but no... we all must wait for hours to buy Coke or whatever. There is this lady who works at the shoppette up the street, and is slower than molasses. She barely speaks English, and whenever she's on the register I want to punch her in the fucking face, or at scream at her for moving at a snail's pace. People like that make me not want to leave the house.
I need a good book. Any recommendations? The only thing I really don't read is romance.

Congrats

Head over here and congratulate SJ and her family on their new little boy!!

My Grammy died last night. She was very ill for a while now, and it was only a matter of time, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm really sad, because I can't make it for the funeral, and it's been a while since I last saw her. Please keep my family in your thoughts, especially my Grandad. Thanks.

Avian Flu for you?

A parents board I frequent was discussing the Oprah show on Avian Flu. I didn't see the show, but apparently Oprah was warning us to stock up on food, water, and medications, because there is going to be a pandemic of the bird flu. A few of the members really feel this is a threat, and are sort of freaking out. Personally, I think it's a scare tactic, the US loves a good scare, and tends to freak out over nothing. Of course, fear, like sex, sells. So, what do you think? Are we all going to die of the bird flu, or is this another case of mass hysteria? If bird flu suddenly kicks our country's collective ass, I will be sccrewed, because I have NO intention of stocking up to prepare for it. One of these days there is going to be a real threat, and many of us will ignore it, because we're the country who cried wolf.

Reason #6,329,871 why I hate KS

I'm tired of the spackle that is in my sinus cavities every morning, and the need to stick Vaseline up my nose every night. This weather sucks. I grew up with cold weather, but I really don't remember this crap. Aren't you glad I'm sharing?

No shit, sherlock

I think most of us have been saying this for a while now. Glad to see someone is starting to take notice.

Ants

I swear to you, there is something wrong with my daughter. She's beautiful and sweet, but holy shit, she cannot sit still. Ever. She'll fall over when standing in one spot because she's squirming around in a constant state of motion. Sitting on the couch? She's fidgiting like a crack head. Sitting at the table? She'll fall out of her seat at least 3 times during every meal. I'm beginning to wonder if she has any kind of control over herself, because I've seen meth heads who were calmer. If you ask her to stop, she either ignores you, or says "I'm not dooooing anyfing!!", and shoots you a look like you have a dick growing out of your forehead. Almost all of her bumps and bruises, as well as her broken leg in 2004, were at least partially because she won't. Stop. Moving. Serious issues.

My children and my bank are trying to kill me

They've conspired against me. Apparently, this is "Cause Crystal to stroke out" week, and everyone is in on the fun! The children have learned to block out my voice, therefore they can run around getting into everything they are not supposed to be into, without the hassle of hearing mommy yell. My bank, or the postal service, has decided that the check I sent in to deposit (we bank with a TX bank, because I heart them, or at least I did until this week) is better off in the lost dimension of nothingness. You see, this sizable check was sent last week, the same day I sent out Thank You cards from Christmas. (Shut UP, I'm a slacker!) So, my mom told me that my Grandad received the TY card in NJ, but my bank (approximately 650 miles away) still hasn't received the check. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, except we've had some larger than normal expenses, and without that check my checking account is in double digits. Low double digits. NOT GOOD. So, I freak out, and hope that it appears, or I'll stroke out before payday. That is, if the kids don't kill me before then. Perhaps I should increase my life insurance this afternoon. Gah... I want my mommy.
Oh, yeah... the gliders tried to escape at the shoppette, too. Blood pressure is through the roof! If anyone has any sedatives they'd like to share, please let me know.

Leave a trail of breadcrumbs next time

My next door neighbor came home from Iraq this weekend. Another neighbor had told me he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, and today I saw him in action. He drove down our street, past our houses (we share a carport), and pulled in the driveway 2 houses down. I know he doesn't know them, because they moved in after we did, so I was curious. A few seconds later, he got back in his truck, pulled out of their driveway, and into ours. This guy drove past his own house, with all of the personalized "Welcome Home, Sgt. X" banners, into someone else's driveway, thinking it was his. Wow.

**Update**
The neighbor of the hosue he pulled into is a friend of mine. I went to say hi to her, and she was outside when he pulled up this morning. He actually didn't believe her when he got out of his car, and she told him it wasn't his house. Wow... genius!

The sound of my head hitting the wall

I am bored. Boooorrrrrrrrreeeeddddddddddd. I'm not bored enough to start cleaning (all housework gets done at night whenever possible), but definitely bored enough to start drooling soon. I've taken to messing with the dog's hair, and if I don't find something to do real soon, I'm going to end up painting her nails. Where'd I put that purple nail polish? Somebody help me!

Bump in the night

Let me set the scene for you. It's 3am, I've just snuggled into bed, but I'm having trouble sleeping. *!*!CRASH*!*!
There is a moment of consideration, like "Do I REALLY need to know what that was?" before I finally get up, grab my glasses, and trudge downstairs. Focusing my eyes in the dim light, I see a furball streak across the computer desk. Mind starts to process that... wait a minute! That's not right. HOLY SHIT! The gliders are loose! I notice one of the doors to the cage is open, and their pouches are empty. I grab a pouch, thinking they'll jump in, but the scoff at the idea. After all, it's playtime!! Ohshit, ohshit, ohshit! I run upstairs, and do the completely reasonable thing. I shake Nate awake, saying "Honey, I need HELP!", nearly giving him a stroke and causing him to shit his pants at the same time. "Sorry about that, no one is killing us, but the gliders are LOOSE!" So, we managed to get one of them back into the cage on their own, and lure the other with a mealworm. (Which, btw, was the crash... they knocked over the mealworm container, and broke it.) All is back to normal, except N's heart rate, and we head back to bed. Aren't you glad you don't live at my house?

Miss Alien

The new Miss America?





She looks like a freaking alien. (Though we love her, because she's a Sooner!!) Her eyes are set too far apart or something, I can't put my finger on it, but there were MUCH prettier women in that pageant. We watched about 5 minutes of it, and the girls were saying how they wanted to eat when it was over. Honey, have a french fry. It won't kill you. Why are we telling little girls that the way to be beautiful is to starve yourself? I know it's the age old question, but I was surprised at how blatant they were about it last night. So, congrats Miss Alien from Oklahoma (or as Shane says it "Omahoma") I hope you enjoyed your post-pageant binge.

The taxman givith, and the taxman taketh away

As I was filing our taxes the other day, I pondered the tax system. Let me say first, the IRS is not the agency I want to fuck with. They don't scare me, but they make me uneasy, because one mistake and those guys will be on you faster than an angry loan shark. So, I respect their authority and do what I'm told, so to speak. If you work for the IRS, please don't audit me. Anyway, I was thinking about the dollar, and the way we're taxed. I have this theory that every dollar is eventually taxed out. Follow me on this journey, walk with me here...
I make $1.00. I use that dollar to buy something, and pay tax on my purchase. Let's say sales tax is 8%, so 8 cents is tax. (For those of you that flunked basic math) The store then has to pay tax on their income, so more of the dollar is gone. Another portion of the dollar goes to the company that manufactured the goods, and they pay income tax on it as well. Yet another portion of the dollar goes to pay Sally, who works at the store, and Jane, who works at the manufacturing plant. They both pay income tax on their part. Everyone in the scenario (except me, because I spent my whole dollar) then goes on to use their portions (after tax) to purchase goods, and pay tax on those. The cycle continues, until eventually there is nothing left of the dollar, the taxman has it all. Make sense?

**All of this is without taking into account tax brackets, shelters, and refunds. We're just talking basics here, so please don't jump on me about the politics of it all.**

So, logically, it can't possibly happen like this, but it seems like it must. After all, I pay taxes on income, taxes on the things I buy with the income, and so on. So, for those of you who majored in economics, can you give me some insight here? Sure, I should have paid close attention in school, but then what would would I blog about?

Never-stay-at-home mom

I am a SAHM. This is usually a wonderful thing, but it can also be the hardest job imaginable. So, today I went and registered my children for day care. No, I'm not getting a job... I'm putting my children in day care for a couple hours a week, so I can do whatever the hell I like during that brief period of time. (There are parenting Nazis writing me emails right now. Please refer to my hate mail policy if you choose to proceed with your ranting. Thank you!!) Yes, you read that correctly, the kids will go to day care so I can relax. GASP!! After I had a slight mental breakdown, my wonderful and amazing husband decided I needed a break, and that the price of hourly day care is a pittance when weighed against my sanity. So, time to fess up. How many of you SAHMs have some kind of help, be it a relative who takes the kids so you can grocery shop in peace, a babysitter who comes so you can hide out and write, or a daycare where they can participate in activities you don't have to clean up? If you don't, do you wish you could? On the other side of the fence, do you think it's selfish and damning my children to a life of therapy? (It's ok if you do, I'm willing to take that chance.) For you SAHMs (or dads!) what is your day like? Do you feel like pulling your hair out at the end of the day, or are you just skipping along in a joy of parenting? I don't know about the rest of you, but I have NO idea how to play with preschoolers. They spend most of their day playing with each other, because I haven't got the slightest idea how to entertain them. And for that matter, why do I feel the NEED to entertain them? Who made me cruise director? No one entertained me at that age, and I was an only child! I'm begining to think we parents have just lost sight of reality, and are beating ourselves up over nothing.

From Cori to Katy to me

Cori and Katy took it, so I jumped on the bandwagon. I'm 3% stupid according to this test. How about you?

A matter of opinion

We found out something this weekend that has really been on my mind. I'm interested in your opinions, especially those of you who are or have been divorced.

A friend's ex-wife has custody of their 2 year old son, and lives many states away. She's been dating a convicted sex offender, and has introduced him to her son. Our friend is obviously horrified by this, and very concerned for his child. Now, I know it mentions sex offenders in my divorce decree, to the effect of the parent must notify the other parent if they marry or live with a convicted offender. Unfortunately, that doesn't apply for dating one. I asked our friend what this guy was convicted of, because that can make a difference. Some convicted and registered offenders are "Romeo and Juliet" offenders, an 18 year old dating a 16 year old, or whatever. Not this guy, he was convicted of molesting a child(ren). Whoa. Now, as a mother, I can't imagine dating someone that I knew molested children. What could she be thinking?? I told our friend he needs to take her to court, and gain custody of his son, now!! This is just appalling!

Now for the opinion part. Do you think this situation should be covered by a divorce/custody agreement? Do you think it should be permitted, an adult should be allowed to date whomever they want? Should it be an automatic cause for loss of custody? Personally, I think we have a hard enough time protecting our children from those we don't know are molesters, why in the hell would we invite one into our lives? What happens if this child is harmed by this sick fucker? Nothing can erase that! And even if I were single and childless, I don't think I could get into bed with someone who likes to touch children. That's a special kind of sicko, and I'd want no part of it! Ok, go ahead... sound off.

Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

FX decided back in November (it slipped under my radar) that is would not be renewing "Over There". I'm crushed, I LOVED that show! They renewed "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", which I thought was a stupid show, yet axed such an awesome drama. Excuse my while I go console myself with chocolates.

Helllllllllloooooooooooo

Um, hi. I'd write, but I have nothing. to. say. We went out Thursday night, and my body kicked my ass for it. After running around on Friday, and recovering yesterday, I finally feel normal again. We're busy bonding with the new "babies", who are even cuter than their pictures, and they are warming up to us nicely. We had a houseful of infantry guys today, for football and lasagna. The Colts lost, which was a shocking blow to N. That about sums it up. See? Nothing to talk about. Well, that's a lie, I was going to blog about the kid who was shot by the SWAT team in FL, but haven't gotten to it. Here's the reader's digest version of my rant. Kid was old enough to know better, shouldn't have taken ANY gun to school, especially not a gun made to look real. Once the police showed up, he definitely knew better than to brandish it towards them. Duh. We wouldn't be in an uproar about this if the kid had done somthing like lay on the train tracks and been killed. What he did was equally stupid, and I have no sympathy at all. None. I hope his parents don't get a red cent in lawsuits (which I'm sure will be filed shortly).What are your thoughts?

Thursday Things

Want a cool new read? Go check out MDMHVONPA and his Twin Tyrants over at White Lightining Axiom: Redux. I love his site, probably because his twins are the same age as mine, and put us to task with equal vigor. The difference? He's better at writing the tales. Go, shoo... check him out! Oh, and say hi for me!!

Our new additions!!

Meet the newest additions to our little family! We're adopting these little guys from a wonderful woman in the area. We meet our new sugar gliders tomorrow afternoon, and I'm beside myself with excitement!! Who wouldn't be... aren't they cute?? Fred and Ginger are twins, they are about 1 year out of pouch, and very bonded to each other. I hope they love their new home with us!!

Better late than never!!

Hey you... yeah you, behind that rock! Did you know it is National De-Lurking week? last year we had a measly little day, but this year we're de-lurking (it is SO a word, Sheryl said so!!!) for a whole WEEK! Except, it's Wednesday and I'm just getting to my de-lurking post, so I get a half week. Either way, that means all (10) of you who stumble over here from time to time need to stop being shy, and say hello!! Help a girl out here, if you don't comment, it starts to look like I'm talking to myself. You know what they do with people who talk to themselves, dontcha?

Monkey business

Only in this family:

I had told my MIL that N and I had kissed and made up after a little bickering. She emailed me back with "Woohooo! Kissin + makin up = more little apes??" That's love right there... with a desire for more grandkids mixed in. I know I'm lucky to have such a cool relationship with Nate's mom, even if she does have ulterior motives.

Feelin' fine

Thanks for all of your well wishes, I'm feeling better today. The kids are still driving me nuts, but that's their job, right? I hope y'all are having a good day!! Dont forget, if you know anyone from Wisconsin, you can bring them some culture and teach them to dance!! Fun for the whole family!

Beware: I bite!!

I'm just really not in a good mood tonight. I don't want to talk to anyone, except my Cori, and she's not around. (Of course, I mean this as no offense to my friends both IRL and in my computer, it's just the foul mood I'm in!! *muah* Love y'all!) The kids have been rotten all week, I'm none too impressed with any adults right now either, and all in all I'm ready for Monday, a chance to at least start fresh!! In the meantime, I suggest running in the other direction if you see me, unless you are coming to lavish me with gifts and Starbucks. I prefer mocha fraps with at least 1 extra shot of espresso, and caramel drizzle. Just so you know.

Meet Your New Mommy **Updated**

We're watching "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy". The mom from Ft. Lauderdale, FL went to a Wisconsin farm. She's got a hairstyle and clothes from the 1980s, and an attitude that would make you want to slap her. Since arriving in Wisconsin, she's talked down to the teenage kids about the house, brought out a bag of children's books, and children's books written in English and French, telling them they are going to learn French, and learn about culture, made the family run at the crack of dawn rather than do their chores, freaked out trying to revive a dead chicken, and "taught" the kids the Electric Slide. The best part?
"They don't have dancing in Wisconsin. We play music in Florida and dance, I just want to bring a little culture to this family."
HOLY CRAP! Did you know they don't have DANCING in WISCONSIN!! They've never heard music either, and the animals in Wisconsin "aren't used to the heat" like she is, since she's from FLORIDA. The woman is INSANE.... and no one will say anything to her!! She's just going on and on and on about how much she's helping these people. The family seriously hates her, but is too polite to say "Stop insulting us, we're not 3, nor do we live in a bush in a 3rd world country. Thanks!"

If you are on the west coast, you totally need to watch this tonight!!!

Update: For those of you who missed it, the second half is next Friday. You have GOT to catch the end of this one!

Motivational Speaker

Maddie is upstairs singing "Shaney's a winner, Lyssa's a winner, Shaney's a winner, Lyssa's a winner. All MYYYYYY friends are winNNNNNEEEERRRRRRRRSSSSS!!!"

They're supposed to be cleaning, so why isn't she singing the clean-up song?

Stark

One of our toilets started leaking this weekend, with a suspected cracked tank. N turned off the water, and called housing to put in a work order for it. Cool beans, they weren't sure if anyone would be working yesterday (this was not an "emergency" since we have 2 bathrooms) so it would probably be early this morning when someone came to fix it. I remembered this while I was in the shower, and prayed I hadn't missed the maintenance guy. Jump out, towel off, and head downstairs to the laundry room (in a towel) to get my robe from the dryer. No sooner do I pull the robe out than the doorbell rings. SHIT! I wrap up tight in my robe, take a deep breath, and open the door. I was expecting our usual maintenance man, he's a really nice older guy, I wouldn't feel too compelled to crawl under a rock and die. Um, no... it's some guy I've never seen before, about my age, and looking completely shocked to see me standing there, looking like a drowned rat. "Good morning, it's blatantly obvious I just stepped out of the shower, be very grateful my husband bought me this nice long robe for Christmas. The broken toilet is up there, excuse me while I get some freaking clothes, and wring out my hair. Thanks!" Actually, that's what I should have said, but mostly I just stammered and pointed like an idiot. The best part? The tank IS cracked (duh, didn't we tell them that??), therefore Mr. Repair Guy will be back at 3 to replace it.

Ugh, this is just not my day...

Dogtags and DFAS

Some military tidbits are on my mind tonight, so you'll have to bear with me.

You know you're a military wife when you break a sweat feeding body armor through the sewing machine, all the while cursing because you know you'll be ripping the rank back off in a month. (I'm NOT complaining, the promotion is worth it!)

While we're on the topic of sewing crap onto gear... it drives me INSANE when the nametags and rank are not the same color as the gear (tan on green, etc). Also irritating? The body armor is often in green camo, but worn over DCUs (desert uniforms). Doesn't that just negate any camoflauging the uniforms provided? Hell, soon they'll all be wearing the new ACUs, which look like a computer threw up on you, and NOTHING will match. This irritates my Virgo type-A personality.

There is some TEENY, TINY print on N's LES (that's like a paystub for you civilian folk) that says his life insurance premiums went up a buck, for traumatic injury protection. I mean, it's only a dollar, but would it kill these people to let us know what the "protection" is? I mean, what if we're paying a dollar to find out they will give us 75 cents in the event of a "traumatic injury"? Why do I have to ask the Google Gods these things?!

The artillary at night doesn't bother me, I rarely notice it anymore. However, if the kid next door doesn't stop revving his engine, and idling with that fart can muffler on his POS Honda, I may kill him. We get it, your dick is huge because you have a 4 cylinder "race" car that's as old as you are. Knock it off already!!

Hyphenated house numbers suck. I'm tired of explaining "No, DASH 1, not apartment 1."

I love hearing TAPS at the end of the night...

Men in uniform are hot. And don't get me started on the guys carrying rifles. Yum!

I'm really excited to pin my husband next month. I REALLY wish I could teach someone else to take a decent picture with my camera, I may just pick up a disposable for the occasion. Prepare for lots of pictures and cheesy gushing.