Entertainment review

So, I'm one of those people who hasn't seen any movie you bring up. Conversations tend to go like this. "Have you seen XYZ?" Nope. "How about ABC?" Nope. "Really??? EVERYONE has seen that!!!" Nope not me.
You get the idea... movies are generally not my thing. Anyway, Deuce brought over a bunch, one I had seen (Crash), one I had attempted to watch, and didn't follow (Munich), and a few others I hadn't seen yet. We ended up watching "The Notebook", which I really enjoyed, even though I teared up at the end. My great-grandmother had Alzheimers, and that story really struck a chord with me.
We also watched "The Producers", which was hilarious. I normally wouldn't watch a musical, but Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick are awesome in this, and it had me cracking up. I'll always see Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller in my mind, no matter how old he gets, but this was a different role for him, and he did it fabulously.

Now, onto book reviews. I've read 4 Stuart Woods novels in the past two weeks, and I'm hooked. He has a series similar to the "Alex Cross" series by James Patterson (Kiss the Girls, Roses are Red, Along Came a Spider), his character is Stone Barrington. I really enjoyed the Stone Barrington novels, as well as his other novels. The one I finished today was actually not up to par with his others, in my opinion. It's called "Blood Orchid", and my only complaint stemmed from continuity issues. There were little mistakes made that affected the continuity of the story, and became distracting. Still, a fast read, and well worth picking up if you enjoy that genre. I'll be picking up a few more, since I borrowed these to pass the time while my friends are in training, and have only one book left to read. (Sidenote to Patterson fans: His new book, "Cross", is out the second week of November, and he's onto his wife's killer. This should be the best Alex Cross book yet!)

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Fall back

This weekend's time change totally screwed me up. I usually look forward to the time change in fall, an extra hour of sleep is always a good thing. However, my friend Deuce came over last night to watch movies, and sometime near the end of the second movie I fell asleep. I woke up at what I thought was 3:15 or so, left him on the couch, and went to bed. This morning, the kids woke up at the crack of dawn, and wouldn't go back to bed. I was up and down for a while, and finally Deuce came up to my room to see if I was getting up. I look at my watch, it reads 10:15, ok cool, I'm up. We go downstairs, and he looks at his cell and says "I can't believe it's only 9:20." Aw man!! Stupid time change!!!

So, Deuce is one of my favorite friends. His name is actually Justin, but we all call him Deuce, including my kids. He's leaving, getting out of the Army, very soon. We thought he'd still be here when our crew got back from training next month, but he found out this week that may not happen. If he's gone before everyone gets back they will be really disappointed... I'm just sad he's leaving, period. The funny thing about it is he's the only lower enlisted in our crew, which is mostly commissioned officers. So, I met this whole crew, and Deuce and I were pretty much instant friends, he's just that great of a person. I'm gonna miss him!!

My friend Tasha and I are taking our kids to the local zoo for trick-or-treating this afternoon. Shane is SO excited about being Spiderman, and Madison is going to be an angel, at least for the day. We've finally reached the point where they understand trick-or-treating, because they remember getting candy last year, so it's all I've heard about for weeks. God help me, I'm going to have 2 sugar-high 4 year olds running wild for the next week or so. Thankfully, I get to go back to work tomorrow!

Filed In: Daily Insanity

Ouch!!

So, I spent last night, and today laid up with back pain. That is possibly the worst feeling, because you're pretty much helpless. I called in to work, ended up going in for an hour during mid-morning, and coming right back home. After a couple hours on the couch with a heating pad, no kids to tend to, and a good book, I'm feeling better.
Thanks to all of you who commented and emailed your support, it means a lot to me. I've got some great friends, am dating a wonderful guy, and am doing just fine. The kids are slowly coming to understand what's going on, and are handling it well, considering.
So, has the year totally flown by for all of you? I cannot believe it's almost November!! I haven't done ANY Christmas shopping, and it's unlikely I'll be able to go on Black Friday this year, so I need to get a move on it. We're not doing anything notable for Thanksgiving, pretty much the entire month of November is going to boring. I've got to go shopping this weekend for a ball gown (KState is having Homecoming this weekend, so l should find a ton of sales), and I'm taking the kids to the local zoo for Trick-or-treating rather than try to go around the neighborhood on Halloween.

Untitled

Well, there is a fairly good reason I haven't been posting much as of late. Beyond working full-time again, there have been a lot of changes in the Insanity household. Nate and I separated a few months ago, before our cruise. A few of you know that, from emailing with me, but I figure the only way to get back into writing (which I crave so much, but have felt unable to do) is to come out with it here. There have been some rough moments, but it's a fairly amicable split. It's been incredibly painful for everyone involved, not just us and the kids, but our families, our friends (nothing like a split to show you who your friends are). So, things have been turned upside down, to say the least. I started this blog shortly before our wedding, and have written through some hard times in the past 2 years. This is probably the hardest of them all, the last thing we expected, or wanted to go through.

So, yes... changes. From the biggest things, to the smallest, everything changes. Six months ago I was a SAHM, living with my husband, and planning out the next decade of our lives. Today I'm a single mom, dating again, and trying to figure out what tomorrow brings, who has time to worry about next year? My appearance has changed, my interests have changed, my opinions have changed... I've gone through a metamorphosis of sorts, and I hope that whatever the end result is, I come out better for it. After all, isn't that what life is? Constantly evolving until you've reached some specified point, a stage of some sort of completion? I hope so...

Drama Drama Drama!

You know, at 24 I never thought life would be so much like middle school. I swear, drama everywhere. First, there is my ex-friend, who posted on a message board we belong to about how she lost a friend who was very important to her, a very obvious reference to me. Bullshit... if I was so important, we'd still be friends. And since one of the reasons she gave for not wanting to be friends was her "finding God" again, and my non-Christian beliefs, I wanted to suggest a Bible study when she needed suggestions for a girls' night out. I kept that one to myself, but it was tough.
Then there is work. We're only a few weeks into our training, and already there is a sexual harassment issue. The 19 people in my training class are ages 18-43, we're all adults, yet most of them act like children. So, another employee walked into our room yesterday, some comments were made and lewd looks given (she is a very attractive woman), and people were written up for it. So, my friend and I were talking, and she decided we should create a reality show about our job. We'll sell it to MTV and call it "Training Room". We'll vote people off, much like "Survivor", except instead of torches they have to hand over their ID badges and log off their computers. We'll have a confession room, a la "The Real World", where people can vent about each other. There will be the cliques and gossiping, it'll be great. Last one standing gets a promotion and raise, the rest are banished to Cubicle Hell. *sigh* It's a grown-up version of middle school, really.

Race Fever

I'm in total race fan mode, with the Chase to the Nextel Cup well under way. Today's race was Talladega, one of the most exciting of the year, and it didn't disappoint. Of course, any of you who watch NASCAR know what I mean, the wreck on the final lap is going to lead to some nice revenge next week. Vickers may have won, but taking out Little E and Jimmy Johnson in the process is pretty shitty. And for the love of god, every time a Hendrick team driver has won a race in the past two years, they've dedicated it to the victims of a plane crash that killed some members of the Hendrick family. The crash was 2 freaking years ago, it's time to close that book. You don't see drivers dedicating wins to Earnhardt Sr. anymore, and while it's sad that those people died, it's time to move on! So, Vickers looked like a schmuck, I nearly stroked out during the race (Kasey had a good shot at winning, so close...) and Junior fans everywhere are out for blood. God, I love the Chase! (And no, my driver is not going to win the cup, but it's still exciting!)

Eyebrow ring v2.0

So, I woke up a few weeks ago with my eye nearly swollen shut, and my eyebrow ring infected. I figure it was from taking it in and out for interviews and work, so I let it close up. I had it redone Friday, let's hope this one will heal better. I'm on a dangerous kick though, I got this one slightly to the side of my original one, and will probably get a second one in the same spot my first one was soon. Plus, I was discussing some other piercing with my piercer, and may have them redone... I'll be airport securities worst nightmare. Really, though, I'm having way too much fun with body mod, which tends to happen when I'm going through lots of change, like I am now. I guess that's one advantage of working in a call center... I'm dealing with large corporations all day, but they can't see me, so I don't really have to look the part.

Vacation update

Anon pointed out that I never posted about our vacation. I totally forgot, with surgery and starting a new job, so here goes. Sorry about that!!!
So, once we finally got to Galveston and onto the ship, we got some time to explore the ship, which is HUGE. You can see the pics on my Flickr, I never did try the big slide in the main pool. So, they had art auctions most nights, with free champagne. I spent an insane amount of money on art, stupid free champagne did it. Wonderful pieces, but still, my wallet still hurts from that! So, we missed the sit down dinner the first night, but went the second night, for the formal dinner. There is a picture of us with the crew, Carnival really has a fabulous crew, and I think I want to work on a ship after my kids are grown. It seems like the coolest job ever! So, we spent the first night and day at sea, with pretty good weather, although it was pretty windy. We finally got to Progreso, which is a really neat city to explore. We went into the downtown area, and had breakfast at this little Mexican cafe, amazing food, and it only cost us about US$6. So, we walked around, shopped, and then headed to the beach. I had my hair braided, then we rented a waverunner. The water was great, we rode around for a while, and then went combing the beach for shells. Of course, at this point we're drinking Coronas, and thoroughly enjoying the sunshine. So, we board again, another night at sea, with rain. There were tons of things to do... shows, kareoke, casino, just hang out on the deck, pretty much whatever you could think of to do. I spent a decent amount of time hanging out on the decks, or sitting by the windows reading. One thing about cruise ships, or at least this one... they are FREEZING cold. So cold that when we would get off the ship, my camera took 20 minutes or so to adjust, and take a decent picture. So, we get to Cozumel, and the weather is kinda iffy. We rented a scooter, and took the long way around the entire island. I didn't like Cozumel as much as Progresso, the people were pushy, there wasn't as much to do unless you wanted to spend a shitload of money, and the public beaches weren't very convenient. We actually never made it to the public beach, but we did have brunch at this awesome place by the water, with the best fresh salsa I've ever had. We did go down on the sand for a bit while waiting for our food. We made it back to the downtown area near the port, and had to hunt down a tattoo shop to buy a replacement stud for my lip ring, lost on the scooter ride. Some more shopping, and we headed back to the port, for drinks at Senor Frogs. Finally, the weather had cleared up, but now it was so freaking hot we could barely breath, so we got back on the ship a bit early. The rest of the cruise was a blur of drinks, dancing, laying out, and just being lazy. We did end up in the casino, although we swore we wouldn't, but it was a lot of fun. All said, it was a great time, I highly recommend Carnival for an affordable cruise experience. The only thing I would have changed was choosing an adults only cruise, because there were close to 400 kids, and the parents of some of them were not the most observant people. Thank god for the topless deck, no kids allowed, for some peace and quiet. So, go on over to my Flickr badge, and check out the pics. :)

Ow

Someone please pass me some asprin, and ear plugs. My head is killing me, and the kids have some kind of sensor that tells them to turn up the volume on everything when mom has a headache. That is all.

The Answer

Normally, I wouldn't use Allen Iverson's nickname for such a somber post, but I got my answer on my friendship. It's not lack of time, or personal issues, it's me. I've had a couple of seriously painful blows in the past week, and honestly this one hurts the most. I sent one last email after posting about it, simply saying I missed her, and our friendship, but I wouldn't bother her again if I didn't hear back. Well, I heard back tonight, and basically I'm a shitty friend with too much drama, and my beliefs (or lack thereof) in God all add up to the end of a great friendship. I'm crushed, really... I know I'm not perfect, and I know that she's seen me through a lot of really hard and dramatic times, but I tried my best. Criticism for the choices I make in my marriage are painful enough, because I don't expect everyone to do things the same way, and I've made some non-traditional choices in that department, but the part about my kids always getting on my nerves being a problem for her hurts the most. Yeah, my kids are in a rotten stage, and they usually do have me at my wits end, but I looked up to this friend (whose children are all older than mine) for advice and support in that area. I never realized this would cost me my best friend.
So, I shed a few tears, and mourn the loss of a friendship, but it's not the first time, and won't be the last. Moments like this are the reason my signature on my email is the Maya Angelou quote "You did then what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." I really try to live my life by that, learn lessons and do better. Goodbye, friend... thank you for the past few years, I hope I brought something positive to the table during that time.

Birth control for the masses

How to know you're raising little terrors? I fell asleep on the couch this afternoon before dinner. I was only asleep for about 30 minutes, but when I woke up my daughter was wearing my lipstick, my wallet was empty of all money, and the chocolate bar in my purse was gone. OK, no big, I got my money back from them, the lipstick wasn't destroyed, and all was ok. Well, I was just making the rounds, picking up the house, and noticed 2 pills on the dining room floor. At first I panicked, because one of them looked like a medication I take that could be very dangerous for them. Then I noticed the other was identical, except it was lighter in color. Oh shit, those are my birth control pills. I run upstairs, grab the pack from my purse, and EVERY PILL is missing. There were 10 actives, and 7 inactives left in the pack. I go get the little insert, because the kids have been asleep for 4 hours, and this happened 2 hours before bedtime. It says no serious illness has been found with accidental overdose in young children. OK, no need to rush to the ER or call poison control. I don't know which one, if either of them may have ingested them, but if they did, someone is going to have a whole lot of hormones running through them tomorrow. Ugh... who said parenting is easy?

Still here!

My lack of posting is because I started a new job this week, and have been busy as hell. Yesterday was my 24th birthday, and I definitely participated in Get Drunk Friday in honor of my birthday. We had a big party hosted by a couple of my friends, it was actually a joint party for me and another friend who shares my birthday. So, I'm alive and well, and hope to return to posting regularely very soon. Have a great weekend!

Filed In: Daily Insanity

On a serious note

I'm pretty sad about my best friend... she's just stopped talking to me, and I don't know why. We've been friends for a couple years, and seen each other through some hard times, but suddenly she just dropped out of my life without so much as an explanation. My emails have been blown off, under the guise of being too busy at the moment. I've given things a couple months to settle down, and still nothing. Have you lost a close friend? I'm fairly used to it, because military life doesn't lend itself to long term friendships very often, but this was a non-military friend, and someone I used to talk to daily. I'm really depressed about it, I miss her. Life goes on, of course, but good friends are hard to find, and it's hard to not feel like I wasn't a good enough friend, or did something wrong that made her discard our friendship. :(

True Friendship

TRUE FRIENDSHIP


Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of
promises that really speaks to true friendship:



(1) When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against
the son of a bitch who made you sad.

(2) When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

(3) When you smile - I will smile, knowing you finally got laid.

(4) When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

(5) When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to quit whining.

(6) When you are confused - I will use small words.

(7) When you are sick - I will stay the hell away from you until you are
well again. I don't want whatever you have!

(8) When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Healthy eating

On the urging of a good friend, who was concerned because my body wasn't healing from cuts, among other things, I've promised to improve my eating habits. Ok, I admittedly don't have great eating habits, and they could definitely use a revamp. This weekend that was down the drain, because I ended up so sick from the pain meds I was lucky to keep anything down. Since I'm feeling better, I decided to work on keeping my promise. What's your typical diet like? I can't imagine cramming all of the recommended servings in every day, that seems like an awful lot of food, and I don't want to pack on a bunch of weight. I know I *should* eat what I prepare for the kids, but that's damn near impossible. I don't know the first thing about eating healthy, and I certainly don't drink enough water (although I've been working on that.) Being an incredibly picky eater doesn't help, although I love fruits and veggies, and those are the things I lack most in my diet, go figure. So, any suggestions??

Weekend update

Thank you for all your well-wishes and concern!! I'm feeling ok, a little sore, but should be fine in a couple days. This weekend was pretty bland after the surgery, I spent Friday at a friend's apartment recovering sans kids, and didn't have my laptop, so I didn't get caught up on blog reading until today. I FINALLY made it through all of my bloglines, and realized how much I miss everyone!! I stayed in Friday night (obviously), and spent Saturday sick from the pain meds, so when I tried to make it out with my friends on Saturday night, it didn't work out, I ended up coming right back home and going to bed. Sunday we did go out, although I wasn't 100% (freaking out because Kasey won, while at a rather yuppie college bar is funny, no one really understands why you're so excited), and yesterday was spent at home relaxing. How was your weekend??

Still Alive!!

I'm still alive, I've just been busy as hell, and haven't had time to post anything. I had surgery today (outpatient, I'm fine), so I'm resting and recouperating for the day. I'm still insanely behind on reading all of your posts during my vacation, so please excuse my lurking!!

Summer Anthem

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado "I'm only trying to get inside your brain To see if you can work me the way you say It's okay, it's alright I got something that you might like"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

The funny thing is this has been my summer anthem, and is currently one of my ringtones.

Back to reality

Well, we're back in KS. I'm in the process of putting my house back in order, and trying to unpack everything. Here's a synopsis, I'll give the full report when I've had some more rest.

Get to Dallas Saturday afternoon, in-laws pick up kids, we see a kick ass DMB concert. They closed with the most amazing version of Rapunzel, the whole show was just insanely energetic, as usual.
Start driving towards in-laws house before heading to Galveston, something tells me to double check that we don't need our birth certificates for the cruise. OH SHIT! We do, and it has to be originals, which are at home. HAUL ASS to D/FW airport, book flight to Kansas City for me, N drives to his parents. I drive the 3 hours to Ft. Riley, get BCs, sleep a couple hours, and head back to KC to fly into Houston. This brings us to 11am Monday, the ship leaves mid-afternoon. Drive to Galveston, board, sail, awesome day in Progresso/Meridia, sail, rainy but fun day in Cozumel, sail (and whenever I say "sail", I mean spend WAY too much money, and drink way too much alcohol), get back to the states yesterday morning, drive to Central TX to pick up kids, eat, rest for a couple hours, drive home. Get home this morning, try to normalize as quickly as possible. Stay tuned for the full report and some pictures.

Vacation time!!

We leave 7am tomorrow for Dallas, and I'm such a procrastinator that I haven't even packed yet! I have to get my van in for new tires this morning, pack for me and the kids, pick up some last minute items, and drive the sugar gliders to the lady I got them from, about 2 hours away. This is going to be the LONGEST day ever. Thank god for Starbucks!!! So, I'll probably have internet access at some points during the trip, I know they offer wireless on the ship, but I intend to spend a great deal of time drunk and laying in the sun, so not too much blogging will happen. I promise to post some great pictures when I get back, and visit (and comment on) every single blog in my Bloglines. Adios!!

Only me

I swear I am the ONLY person in the world who can injury themselves in the stupidest ways. For example, I regularly fall UP the stairs. I did yesterday, carrying the kids food, and bent my nail back past the nailbed. Then, while out last night, I managed to cut my arm on my jeans. There was NOTHING in my pockets, I was not near anything sharp, but I moved my arm, skimmed my leg, and suddenly I'm bleeding, and have an inch long split in my forearm. I go outside, and call Nate to see if he thought I should go for stitches (how I expected him to DX it over the phone I don't know, but I did), and it was decided it was too shallow to need stitches. Still, I've got two butterflies and a guaze pad taped to my arm now. Ridiculous... So, at the end of the night, I walk into my friend's apartment to get my stuff and head home, and realize I've lost one of the beads to my eyebrow ring on top of everything else. I'm falling apart here, and it's only Friday!!!

Cock Soup

Go visit Karla, and read about the most unusual birthday gift ever. My bday is next month, and I can only hope my friends are creative enough to come up with something so hilarious... after all, blog fodder doesn't produce itself, ya know?!

Wired

A sign of our world, I'm sitting here on my laptop, listening to my MP3 player, and text messaging. Shane is plaing his VSmile, and Mads is watching some TV. A few people I know are doing an "unplugged" month, no computers, no TV, etc... I don't think I could survive. I like my electronic luxuries, thankyouverymuch!

Filed In: STFU, K? THX!

WIC re-vamp

The WIC program, a program providing supplemental foods to pregnant/nursing women, and children birth through age 5, is undergoing it's first signifigant change since it's conception. I have been on WIC for most of the last 5 years, and since the programs are state-run, each state is different, but runs within the same guidlines. A certain amount of milk, eggs, cheese, specific cereals, peanut butter or beans, and 100% juice is allotted to each child over age 1. (There is a different list for pregnant/nursing mothers, and formula is provided for non-nursing children up to age 1) They have decided to reduce the amount of juice and add fruits, veggies, and whole grain breads to the list. I think this is a wise move, because the juice is the one part of the program I NEVER use all of. I have more Juicy Juice in my pantry than any human can possibly need, and have often decided to forgo the juice, or give it to a neighbor rather than continue to build my supply. Juice makers are not pleased with this, since it means less profit for them, but I think more than 6-8 oz of juice a day (of course, my children get the rest of their servings in other forms) for a small child is TOO MUCH, and WIC currently provides for much more than that. Considering about half of the children in America are eligble for this program, it could definitely make a difference in bringing healthy foods into low income homes. Think about it, a mom is shopping, and can buy the cheapest white bread for $1, or whole grain bread for $2 or more. This doesn't seem like much, but to a family on a budget, it is. Those fresh veggies that provide way more nutrition than canned or frozen are also more expensive, and some children living in low income homes never get the opportunity to experience them. Excellent move on the government's part here!

I quit.

Today, Shane cut off his mohawk with safety scissors. Then Mads let him cut her hair. It was horrible, she has bald spots, and her once shoulder length hair is now a pixie cut.

Aftermath...


Waiting to get it fixed...


After the salon. It doesn't look too bad from the front, but there are a couple of noticable bald spots on the back, and it's going to be hell growing back in.


I'm exhausted, I don't think I can take any more of this stuff!! Call your parents tonight, and apologize for every evil thing you ever did. Grrrr.

Weekend Recap

Well, my Saturday was much better than my Friday night. My friend Meegan and I convinced another friend of ours to host a party, because he has a loft above tha bar we hang out at, and it's an incredibly cool place. So, it was originally going to be a toga party, but we couldn't find enough women to make it anywhere near an even ratio, so we scrapped that idea, lest it be 2 girls, and 20 guys... awkward. So we showed up with an insane amount of alcohol, everyone else brought some as well, and we got to drink, laugh, and act like idiots all night long. I had my camera, and one of the guys who lives there had his as well, so lots of incredibly hilarious photos were taken, I'll only post a few.

The beginning of the night, part of the crew.


Me and one of our hosts, Mike (Apparently I decided to attack him for a picture. Oops!)


Our other host Joe, and Mike the Pilot (we actually do call him "Mike the Pilot", to differentiate between him and Joe's roommate.)


Of course, today wasn't so great, because Kasey wrecked on the last lap of the race, and got a DNF. Not. Happy. Oh well, shit happens. I'm tired and cranky, but it was well worth it. Of course, I haven't got an Idiot of the Week this week, although Floyd Landis is a prime candidate. I'm slacking, so we'll just give it to him. Congrats, dumbass... you can't get away with doping on the Tour de France.

Cranky

After a week of tantruming kids and more stress than one could possibly imagine, I'm not a happy camper tonight. I'd go as far as saying I'm downright pissed off at the world. Oh, and it's Get Drunk Friday, and guess who is remaining painfully sober. Yep... not a good night.

Once again, I'm incredibly behind!

I had finally caught up with everyone's blogs, and then I find myself way behind again. Ugh... either way, I made it through most of my bloglines, and if I didn't comment it's only because my eyes are about to start bleeding from too much time staring at the computer. Go give Katy some support, Clint just came down on orders for Iraq, when they thought he was non-deployable. That's a tough thing to deal with (actually this time last year the same thing happened to us, but the orders were cancelled 5 days before his flight), especially when she only has until October to prepare.

Argh!!

So, I finished my donation for Shannon's Blogathon, and I must say that the United Cerebral Palsy fund makes donating a bit of a headache. Shannon is trying to pack for her trip, and I'm bugging her for her address, because it's demanding I provide an honoree complete with name and address. What happened to anonymous donations? Is anyone else having this problem, or am I just retarded? (Don't answer that...) Seriously, I think I make my life harder than need be. Either way, go donate!! The Blogathon is over, but this disease still needs support.

A reminder

I was looking through my Flickr album, and the pictures of Maddie in her cast, and thought I should write about what happened to her again, in hopes that it prevents another baby from getting hurt. In Novermber 2004, my daughter woke up, stood up in her toddler bed, and broke her leg. You can read the original post about it here. She caught her foot in the slats circled in red.

She then fell over the railing, and hit her knee on the floor, causing a spiral fracture of her left femur. Nate had gotten the kids up that morning, and didn't instantly realize anything was seriously wrong, he just picked her up to comfort her. When he realized she was really hurt badly, he laid her down and yelled for me. I came into my living room to find my daughter screaming, one leg an inch shorter than the other. She spent the rest of the day, and the entire night in traction at one of the best hospitals in the country, they had to keep her so doped up on morphine she was near comatose. They set her leg the next morning, in a hip spica cast.

She spent 4 weeks in that cast, my baby spent her Christmas in that awful thing. She then spent 2 weeks in a walking leg cast. We were lucky, because although the break was severe, it didn't require surgery, which could have stunted her growth plates. This entire nightmare was caused by a railing that is supposed to protect your children. Believe me when I say the 6 inch fall off the bed is much safer. These beds are still on the market, sold under the Graco name, and manufactured by Simplicity. We bought ours at Walmart, and I've seen them at the Walmart here recently. Graco did a recall on over 3 million beds in March of 2005, because of similar injuries, but because they don't MANUFACTURE this one, it was not included, and the design never changed. The CPSC sent an investigator to our home, and filed a report about Madison's injury, I called both Graco and Simplicity, but nothing was done to prevent this from happening to another child. Please, when shopping for a toddler bed for your child, do NOT buy a bed with this type of railing. Honestly, you can skip the toddler bed altogether, a twin mattress on the floor may not look as cute, but it's a lot safer. I knew at least 5 other parents who had this bed at the time of Maddie's injury, and thankfully they got rid of them after hearing what happened to my daughter. If you have one like it, please do the same!!!

Retail Therapy

So, I was pining over some shoes yesterday, and kind of going "Eh, I don't need to spend $60 on a pair of heels." I mentioned this to a (male) friend, and he said "Hell, most of my shoes cost more than that... that's not too bad." Well, all the excuse I need, if a straight guy doesn't see any problem with it, it must be reasonable. So, I ordered shoes... (neither pair ended up being $60 anyway... sales rock!)

Thing is, this first pair, I have a pair very similar, but dressier, that I wore to a ball. I'm kinda having buyer's remorse, I should have at least ordered them in brown instead of black. Oh well!


Second pair... so cute!! I cannot wait to get them in. I ordered a shirt, too, because it put me over $100, and therefore I got a discount anyway. Ahhh... feel better now!


I don't know if it will have quite the same effect, but I will get some instant gratification shopping therapy later, I have to go to the mall and buy running shoes. Does that even count for a girl with a new-found love of shoes?!

A year ago...

So, I decided to look back into my August 2005 archives, and see what was going on a year ago. There were some good posts in there, like this, this, this, this, and this. What the hell happened, that I have nothing substantial to write about anymore? (Actually, I know the answer, but we're not going to discuss that.) The only bittersweet part of looking back is references to a friend who I've just lost contact with. (Not for lack of trying, I don't know what happened to our friendship.) Still, it's pretty neat to go back and read your old stuff. What were you writing about a year ago, assuming you've been blogging that long?

As a bonus, here are some posts from early 2005 as well.

More Eye Candy

First up, Tony Stewart, although he's packing on some weight this year.


Keeping with the NASCAR theme, Carl Edwards for Tonya


And for Jazzy, a double shot of Matts... (I have no idea who the second Matt is, I've never watched Gilmore Girls!)

Message in a bottle

This is so neat, a virtual message in a bottle, and you can receive messages that come "on shore". I sent out three so far... try it out!!

Eye Candy requests

Marsha pointed out that Mike Rowe, from Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs, is a hottie, and should make my lineup. I also neglected to add my love, Joaquin Phoenix, and babyfaced Kasey Kahne, so we'll throw them into the mix as well. Any other hotties you guys want to see? It'll brighten your day! *wink* I'll even take requests for females, in the name of equality.






Of course, I had to choose a pic of him winning. ;) Now if he wins the Brickyard this Sunday my weekend will be complete!

Reverting

Apparently I've reverted to toddlerhood, at least in my eating habits. I've been eating pretty much nothing but burritos with melted cheese for the last couple days. Suddenly, I completely understand why kids can eat nothing but chicken nuggets or mac and cheese for days on end... mmmm comfort food. Hey, at least it's not pints of Ben and Jerry's!!!

After a day like today... (edited)

I've decided on my own version of Buzz's ECF, and it's only Tuesday. Og, and unlike the great Buzz, I'm being totally selfish and only posting for my choices. *wink*

Nicole must have been thinking along the same lines, because she posted this and this... mmmmm!!

The gorgeous D. Beckham. I don't care what anyone says... Metro is hot.


Mmmm... some Vin Diesel (Again, the metro is HOT)


And Allen Iverson looking oh-so-adorable with one of his babies (I think it's Tiaura, but hard to tell)... who can resist a cute Daddy pic? (Anyone who says he is a thug gets their ass kicked. I mean it!)


Edited 2 Aug 06: It's only 0951 CST, and I already have a headache. I think I'll leave this post at the top until I feel better. Mmmmm... eye candy.

UGH!!!!!

I've swept the floors 3 times today, cleaned the house up, and have done tons of laundry, but it still looks like a freaking tornado came through!! The kids have the habit of peeling crayons, which means I keep sweeping up wrappers. I am considering unwrapping all crayons before giving them to the kids, just to keep my sanity! Then there is the dog who refuses to poop outside. WTF?? The piles of laundry that never seem to be done, the errands than keep getting put off, and of course I forgot yogurt for the gliders at the store today. ARGH!!!! Not having a fun day!!

Where's Yours?

This is a pretty neat site, especially if you are looking for outdoor activities to do with your family. It's sponsored by Nature's Valley (mmm, awesome granola bars), and users can add a pin to a location they enjoy in nature. I added one for whitewater rafting on the Deleware River in the Poconos. (Of course, it's been a few years, I was totally guessing the location... Anyway, go check it out, you're likely to find some cool spots in your area.

Pig

My MIL sent this to me. *wink*

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road...

They pass each other..
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells back out window, BITCH!

Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.

Thought for The Day: If only men would listen...

And this is why I don't hang out with many women....

Buzz mentioned the drama started at BlogHer over a post bashing "mommybloggers". That shit is hilarious, the ONLY reason I'm giving the dumbass who wrote it a link is so you can read the comments, and laugh at the arguements. Hey ladies, and this includes you, Sherri, why don't we all act like big girls? The closest thing I can compare this to is watching the guys talk shop, and bash each other's MOS, unit, division, etc. "Oh, infantrymen are nothing but stupid grunts." "Oh yeah? Well if you ain't Cav, you ain't shit." "Yeah, well, you're nothing but a finance REMF" (Rear-echelon motherfuckers, for those of you who aren't familiar with the term) Or, the different branches making fun of each other. So, when we are sitting here arguing over blogging, and bashing each other for the types of bloggers we are, especially at a convention created for WOMEN, we've officially hit a new low. I'm just going to print that post out, and hand it over next time one of my male friends asks me why I don't hook them up with a friend... because hanging out with women creates drama.

Edited: I said "dumbass who wrote it", and then realized this may actually be a pretty smart woman. There is no quicker way to bump up your stats, and your links, than piss off the "mommybloggers". A face-to-face with Dooce was mentioned in a later post, and Sherri has been posted a few times now about the whole drama. I don't know who she is, or what her stats were like before this, but I'd have to say this falls under the "bad press is better than no press" rule. WTG, enjoy the traffic while it lasts.

Birth Control in the US

It's funny how birth control is such a hot topic issue in a country where you can buy condoms at almost any store. The FDA is once again looking at the morning-after pill, Plan B, for OTC sales to women age 16 and older. This plan had stalled out for over a year, because of conservative opposition. Now, as for regular BC medications, I don't have an issue with them being prescription only, although I might feel differently if I did not have health insurance. However, Plan B must be taken within 72 hours to be effective (still only 89% effective, but better than nothing) which means getting a script, and getting it filled in time is difficult at best. This would be a huge stride in the right direction for women's reproductive rights at a time when the government is slowly chipping away at them.

On a separate note, why is this news? Ok, wow, an implantable BC method. I am pretty sure there has been one on the market in the US for a while now, called Norplant. What makes Implanon a big deal?? Anyone?

Randoms (I keep editing this to add more as the day goes on)

Shannon is in the middle of her Blogathon, so don't forget to go say "Hi!", and sponsor her!

Daxahol gave me today's line of the day... The ole “life gives you lemons, made lemonade” example has been overused, so try the “life gives you balls…suck em.”

I completely forgot that this weekend is BlogHer. Yeah, I had great intentions on attending this year, and visiting a few California friends in the process, but here I sit in KS, so you can see how well that worked out for me. I hope everyone attending is having a great time, and say "Hi!" to Grace for me!!

Conversation with a (single, kid-free) friend:
SF: (about friends moving across country) "We should totally go out to LA and see them."

Me: "Sounds great, but what do you propose I do with my kids?"

SF: "Don't they have kennels or something for that purpose?"

It was, of course, a joke, but it got me wondering... why aren't there kiddie kennels, staffed with SuperNanny wannabes, where you can go on vacation knowing your kids are learning, and being fed well-balanced meals? The alternative is sending them to the grandparents, where they are sure to be chocked full of sugar and junk, and come back spoiled rotten. Oh, crap... I'm about to do just that. Anyone know of a good Kiddie Kennel?

New hair product I am IN LOVE with... Aquage finishing spray. I heart it. Lots.

We don't watch the Wiggles in our house, but SJ has come up with a Wiggles drinking game. From the one or two episodes I've seen over time, I agree, we'll need a few cases of alcohol to play.

Conversation last night...
"So, Mike subscribes to a bunch of magazines. I open the mailbox and see Gentleman's Quarterly. My first thought is 'Hmm... I haven't seen this in a couple months."
Not everyone got it, which is a bit unsettling.

Obsession saved

Thank gawd, I don't have to give up on David Beckham after his little tighty-whitey pics, he's back to taking gorgeous pics again. Whew, that was a close one...

A vet??

A conversation between two of my friends last night. (They're roommates)

M: Remind me to call Yvette tonight.

B:Uh, ok.

B thinking: This is so going in the file of strange things M says. Why does she want to call a vet? We don't have any pets. And I don't know what ailment she's afflicted with, but I would think a human doctor would be a much better choice.

So, later in the evening, on the way out, B realizes she wasn't talking about a veterinarian, but one of her co-workers. You could almost see the lightbulb go on over his head, it was priceless. Meanwhile, I'm sitting in the backseat, and the first thing that comes to mind is "I'm so blogging this!"
Granted, the story is much better told in person, and even better if you know B, but the retelling to friends had me laughing most of the night.

Idiot of the Week 7/23-7/29/2006

Hat tip to Jay on this one. His 3 reasons for nominating this guy are as follows:

1. Shoves his granddaughter dangerously close to an elk to take a picture
2. Hits the woman who admonished him for doing so
3. Knocks down said woman's 82 year old father who is using a walker.

Bonus points for having outstanding child abuse warrants. Wow... someone might need some anger management.

For Shannon (Bumping up!!)

Most of you already know and love Shannon, AkaMonty, from The Daily Bitch. If you don't you should definitely be reading her site!! Anyway, she is doing a blogathon for the United Cerebral Palsy fund. This is a cause very close to her heart, because her son suffers from this crippling disease. So, go, and sponsor her, every little bit helps!! There are millions of causes out there, and this one is just as important as any other. We all opened up our hearts, and wallets last year in the aftermath of the hurricanes, and for various causes over the past few months, let's do it again to help those with CP.

In addition

I do have good news, though... (no, I didn't save a bunch of money on my insurance with Geico... USAA loves us more) I am minus the Twin Tyrants (stolen from Mark and his Tyrants) because their Sperm Donor (SD) is in town visiting. He brought his sister and her roommate, and when the 3 of them showed up yesterday I was already packing an overnight bag. Can you tell I needed a break? Well, I got distracted while swimming at a friend's house, and forgot to call and say goodnight, so I call at about 2130 (in the middle of "Rescue Me", that's dedication!!) to see how things were going. SD tells me they are still up, I mention to him their blankets and stuffed animals are in the bottom of the bag. Ooops... probably should have told him that to begin with! He calls me back about 15 minutes later to let me know that they went right to sleep after receiving their stuffed animals. Good deal. So, I have just the baby for most of this week, and she's asleep in the swing right now. Life is quiet, I don't have to watch Dora or hear bickering kids, I'm happy. Maybe now I can get caught up!!
(I do miss the little tyrants, though... as much as I hate to admit it!)

So behind!

I do still love you. Yes, YOU. I do read your blog, and I'm sorry for not commenting. I'm about 5 days behind on Bloglines, and it seems that you have been very busy writing posts, and I'm never going to catch up if you don't slow down a bit!! Now, I've drained my laptop battery, and must take a break from reading before I go blind.

UGH!!!!!

You know, this picture might have just ruined my slight obsession with David Beckham.

And if Dane Cook really is dating Jessica Simpson, I'll have lost all respect for him. The only good part is the break-up will bring some hilarious jokes.

That is all...

Coastie Rescue

Jake called me yesterday evening to let me know he was on his way to a water rescue, they were gearing up. He didn't have time to give me details, other than he had to get on his "Scuba Steve" gear, and you could hear the tension and excitement in his voice. I doubt very seriously that it was this rescue, considering Jake is stationed in Jacksonville, FL, but I'm dying to know what mission he was sent out on, and that he's ok. So, as soon as I can get ahold of him, I will update.

Anything to bump the last post down a bit...

Really, I can't bear to look at my stomach like that, that post might only make it another day or so, before it comes down. Anyway, It's not even 0645CST, I'm up, and NOT happy about it. I did go to bed shockingly early last night (9pm), but I hadn't gotten much sleep all weekend, so I guess I needed it. This getting up early crap is gonna kill me when I start working. I remember having to get up at the ass crack of dawn the last time I was working full time, and it damn near killed me. At least then, I had a Starbucks on the way to work, I don't get that luxury here, since the ONLY one in the area is completely on the other side of the town I'll be working in. Ugh!!! Anyone want to open a Starbuck franchise here? I'll totally be your manager, hell, I'll gladly work doubles!

Latest photo request

I cannot believe I am posting this, but I've also submitted it to The Shape of a Mother. Sandy asked to see my belly, in it's post-twins aftermath... and I've agreed to oblige.
May frighten the weak of heart, and/or small children!



So, while I weigh less now than I did when I got pregnant, I carry these so-called "badges of honor", at least until I'm done having children, and get some wonderful plastic surgeon to remove them. Call me vain, if you must, but I just can't find anything attractive about stretch marks covering my entire abdomen.

My new tattoo

I got a new tattoo this week it's on my left thigh, just below my hip. Bonus points if you know what it is, because so far only 2 friends knew what it was before I told them.

Dr. Phil

I don't normally get to watch any adult TV during the day, it's almost exclusively Nick Jr and Noggin in this house. However, tomorrows Dr. Phil show confronts an abusive boyf/husband (not sure if they are married or not) and the preview shows Dr. Phil getting up in the guy's face, asking him if it's intimidating to have someone bigger than you pushing you around. Of the few shows I've seen, I've grown to love Dr. Phil for his honesty, and I think this is one show everyone should see. I've been in a couple abusive relationships, I know what it does to you when you are constantly bullied and hurt by someone who is supposed to love you. Maybe if more abusers would get a reality check like Dr. Phil is dishing out to this punk, they could break the cycle, or at least the abused party would get out sooner. Some never make it out, and those of us that do usually wait way too long. Domestic violence is not something that should get a second chance, and no one should have to live in fear in their own home. I've been part of a few discussions where someone knows a neighbor or friend is being abused, but did nothing to step in out of fear of retaliation. If you suspect abuse, DO SOMETHING. I had my neighbors tell me after the fact that they used to hear us fighting, and were afraid to get involved. We shared a duplex, a simple anonymous call to the cops may have saved me a lot of pain and suffering. We've become so scared to do the right thing, because of the possible reprecussions that many people go against their instincts, and turn their heads to things they know are wrong. Don't... you may save someone's life, and if it were you, you would want someone to help, right?

Idiot of the Week 7/16-7/22/2006

I really struggled to find anyone truly worth of the award this week, but I think this guy will do. Man gets caught smuggling 6 eggs of endangered species in his underwear. Dude, did you REALLY think they were going to believe you had 8 balls? And your excuse of it being a surprise for your girlfriend, I'd be a little worried if a boyfriend presented me with a few endangered species as a surprise gift. How about diamonds, they always go over well. Dumbass!!!

Get Drunk Friday

12:25pm Saturday: Edited....
Wow, that's bad, I was that drunk by 10:25pm. I only made it to about midnight before it was decided that I should not be drinking anymore, and we left. I considered taking the audioblog down when I woke up this morning, but eh, what the hell, it can stay. I guess I should say that NORMALLY, I wouldn't have even started drinking until about that time, but I had gone out to dinner at 8, had a pre-dinner drink, we drank a bottle of merlot with our meal, and a post-dinner cocktail before we even headed to the bar. Merlot and I are not friends, because she snuck up on me, for sure. Thankfully, my hangover is pretty minimal, nothing 800mg of Motrin can't handle. Hope your Friday was as much fun as mine!!

First round of picture requests

Ok, here is RD 1 of the picture requests... I'm still taking requests, so comment, people!!!

Katy wanted to see where I kept my pills, p0rn, and liquor, you know... the things I use to relax. What are you trying to say, Katy?? *wink*

Pills are in my purse


Porn is actually in the upstairs bathroom cabinet. Technically, it's N's subscription to Playboy, but I do love me some Playboy. The best part of Nudie Magazine Day is finding the hidden bunny.


Liquor, the Corona is mine, the vodka and SoCo aren't, but here ya go...


Jay wanted a peek into my medicine cabinet, and out of the two in my house, this is the more interesting. Actually, the other cabinet in this bathroom has more stuff in it, and all meds are kept downstairs in the kitchen.

Boring, I know!

Mark wanted to see the box in the freezer where I keep the severed fingers from Get Drunk Fridays. Since my freezer is pretty small, there are no body parts, just some boring food. I generally don't sever any body parts during my drunken weekends, just the occasional spraying of Corona when flipping the bottle to sink the lime.


And lastly, my IRL friend (yes, I *do* have real friends... they don't ALL live in my computer. Wait, I met him online... DAMN!) B wanted me to post a picture of the gliders, to see if anyone else thinks they are fake. He is CERTAIN that they are not real animals, I've simply sewn wings onto rats, and made them up. Katy, please tell this man that they ARE real, and not anything like rats!!

I've got...

A job!! I start the beginning of September, since we're going on the cruise in August, and there are 5 weeks of training that I can't miss. I was pretty happy that I got a call within hours of submitting my resume on Tuesday, and got an interview today, then hired on the spot!! Yay me! The guy who interviewed me was concerned about my short work history over the past couple years, but when I explained to him why the jobs were short lived, and also that I could have lied on my application and claimed to have been a SAHM during that time, but felt I should be honest instead, he seemed satisfied with my response. It is an inbound call center for a major cell company (not the one I use, but he confessed his private cell is with the same company as mine, LOL), customer service/retention agent. I'm totally excited!!! Ok, I'll be taking pictures later for the first round of requests, so keep them coming. What would you like to see if you could come visit me?

Ok, it's that time again!!

Last year, (I think it was last year) I allowed y'all to make requests of pictures you wanted to see from my house. Since I'm having some blogger's block, I'm going to do it again. All reasonable requests will be fulfilled, along with a link to the requester (requestor??). Who doesn't love links??? So, if you came over to my house, where would you like to go snooping? If you don't want to snoop (yeah right, we ALL snoop once in a while!), what are you curious about? Very little is off limits, as long as it won't incriminate me, or get my site flagged, I'll take the pictures and post them. Come on, comment with your requests!

Idiot of the Week 7/9-7/15/2006

It looks like the LAPD cop who got shot by his toddler is our winner for IotW. Hopefully, he makes a full recovery, and learns to secure his weapon.

Hilarious!

Dane Cook making fun of Tom Cruise on Jimmy Kimmel... priceless!

IotW nominees

I've gotten 3 nominees for Idiot of the Week this week, so I thought I'd offer it up for a vote.

First up, woman calls 911 to get "cutie pie" cop to come back to her house. She was arrested for misuse of the emergency call system. Ok, lady... if you are THAT hard up for a date, why not GO DOWN TO THE STATION? Jeez, call the non-emergency line, walk in, whatever... don't call 911! (Thanks to my MIL for the link!)

Second, we have the 14 year old drunk driver. He was apparently the more sober driver between him and his father, so his father let him drive. He totalled the 2001 Mustang on the way home. Now, there are so many things wrong here. The father let the 14 year old drink, then he let him drive, and I don't know how tall this kid is, but I've driven my friend's Mustang (sober of course), and I have trouble seeing over the dash. At what point it seemed like a good idea to hand over the keys to a sports car to your drunk 14 year old, I don't know. I'd love to hear the thinking behind that one!! (Hat tip to Jay on this one)

Finally, we have the LAPD cop who was shot by his 3 year old son. He left his loaded service revolver in the backseat of his vehicle, the toddler got ahold of it, and shot him, accidentally of course. The child was not in a safety seat at the time of the incident. So many things wrong with this picture as well... (Again, thanks to my MIL for the link!)

Let the voting begin... My personal vote goes to the guy who let his drunk 14 year old drive.

Disorder in American Courts

I recieved this from my MIL, I hope it makes you chuckle...
These are from a book called DISORDER IN THE AMERICAN COURTS, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And it what ways do it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I cant remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
___________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one year old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one...
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh...
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And whose death was it terminated?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: All your responses must be oral, ok? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Thanks anyway

I don't know if it was the Darwin fish on the back of my van, or the fact that I have piercings in my face, or just her gut, but this lady circled around me a bit while I was sitting in the van at the commissary, gathering up stuff to do my grocery shopping. I kind of noticed her looking at me, and once I made eye contact she walked over, so I rolled down my window. She handed me one of those religious pamphlets, and said "This is for you." I thanked her, rolled my window back up, and continued what I was doing. The pamphlet ended up in the trash on the way in, and I saw her as I was getting peanut butter. I find it incredibly irritating when people push their religion on others, especially complete strangers. Anyone else get irritated by this? The worst part is the woman looked scared of me, like she might catch my "ungodliness" or something. Ugh!

Insert Title Here

There is change in the air. That is all...

Randomness abounds!

Said to me last week, but just popped in my head for some reason.

"You smell like Spring Break."

[Thinking} Huh? There is a Spring Break smell? I haven't been to the beach, or put on sunscreen, or any other smell that would remind me of Spring Break. Hmmm... Oh yeah, the" Need a margarita?" body scrub I used. This might explain it.

"Ok, that's my body scrub, it smells like margaritas."

"Yep, that's it. Spring Break."

Glad that's settled. Is Margarita the official smell of Spring Break?

Uh, ok... and some other randoms

I think Busy Mom said it best with WTF??

Also, I found this via Blogging Baby, The Shape of a Mother. It is NSFW, due to nudity, but is a new site dedicated to showing what the aftermath of child-bearing really looks like, no matter what Hollywood tells us. I don't know, I want plastic surgery pretty bad, I know it's shallow but I can't find the "beauty" of my stretch marks and sagging boobs. I want my 23 year old body to LOOK 23 years old, or at least something close to it. I may sumbit a picture anyway, strength in numbers and all that, but I still haven't come to terms with my ruined abs, and I'm not sure I ever will.

Best blog-line I've read so far? Over at Christine's "Reasons Why I Hate My Husband."
(Discussing the husband's weekend bout of depression)
"Ummm, anything I can do?"

"How about a blow job or some Chinese food?"

The Sweet and Sour Shrimp were excellent.
(I'm STILL laughing at that!)

Go offer Jenn some support, her dad is in the hospital.

Waiter discussing the World Cup and it's effect on his kitchen staff. Their Sous chef is Italian, but much of the other kitchen staff is Mexican, and once Mexico was eliminated they were rooting against Italy. Well, Italy's win proved entertaining for the staff. I was rooting for Italy, in case you were wondering, after England (*swoon* Beckham!!) was eliminated.

And finally, my playlist for the day.
DMB~ Typical Situation
DMB~ The Dreaming Tree
DMB~ Crazy
DMB~ Lover Lay Down
DMB~ Crush
Garth Brooks~ The Dance
Garth Brooks~ Good Ride Cowboy
Pat Green~ Wave on Wave
Pat Green~ Three Days
Rascal Flatts~ God Blessed The Broken Road
Rascal Flatts~ Fast Cars and Freedom
Rascal Flatts~ What Hurts The Most
Rascal Flatts~ I Melt
Tim McGraw/Faith Hill~ It's Your Love
Toby Keith~ American Soldier

A strange mix, I know.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

While out Friday night, I saw Kasey Kahne on the TV (no closed captioning, too noisy to hear it), apparently having won a race, but it was Friday night, so I couldn't figure out what he had won. I was with a bunch of non-race fans, so I was the only one paying attention. I got all excited when I noticed Kasey in Victory Lane, but said "Kasey won, but there's no race today. DAMMIT! I don't know what happened!!" The line of the weekend was delivered at that moment...

"I'm pretty sure there were left turns involved."

Thank you, Captain Obvious. How much did you pay for that nice degree you've got? Jerk.

RIAA vs Band Preferences

Did I mention we're going to see Dave Matthews Band in August? Well, a little bit of background for those of you unfamiliar with DMB. They do not mind their fans recording their shows, and file sharing their music. They are against the whole RIAA "Sharing is stealing" thing, because they know that bands start out with word of mouth, and if it weren't for sharing most bands wouldn't ever get a record deal. DMB is obviously very successful, they tour nearly non-stop, and sell out huge arenas. Anyway, the dilemma is I want to tape the show, but I know that my camera will be confiscated if security catches it. DMB can say "Let our fans tape the show", but security and the area they are playing will stop the fans anyway. I'll have my cell, so I can take short voice clips, and pictures, but no video. Still, a quick search of my*space shows that it IS possible to sneak the cameras in, so how do these people pull it off?? I think I'd be more likely to risk it if we were sitting up close, but we're doing lawn seating. (I've seen them at the Tweeter Center in Camden, NJ, lawn seating, and Veteran's Stadium in Philadelphia, I prefer lawn seating for their shows.) Anyway, I may try to sneak in a handheld digital voice recorder, if nothing else. Damn recording industry nazis!!

Kiddie randoms

Some randoms from the munchkin crew this week. I picked them up from pre-school Thursday, and Maddie's teacher said Mads had INSISTED she see "my mommy's pretty nails". Now, I have strong natural nails, but they are in horrible disrepair right now, as I've been working on refinishing the dining table. I don't know if Mads was thinking of my toenails, which are usually painted, but weren't at the time. So, completely baffled, I showed the teacher my hands, and we had a good laugh about it. If nothing else, my daughter still thinks I'm beautiful. *melt*
Of course, with the cute comes the not-so-cute. My Coke is sitting behind me on the accent table. Mads just reached over, and took a sip, I barely caught her out of the corner of my eye. Hey!! You're not allowed to drink Mommy's soda!
Conversation a few minutes ago.
Shane: "Mommy, Daddy is TWENTY EIGHT!"
Me: "Yes, buddy, he is."
Madison: "Mommy, you're 24!!"
Me: "No baby, I'm 23. I'll be 24 in September, in a couple months." (We've been discussing birthdays a lot lately, since they just had theirs, and Nate's was 8 days later)
Mads: "But WHY?? You're 24!!"
Me: *sigh* "Not yet, baby, I will be in a couple months."
There is no convincing her, and since everything is either "yesterday" or "tomorrow" wth Shane, he's decided tomorrow is my birthday. Maybe I should take advantage of the situation.

We took the kids to the zoo in Manhattan (no, not the REAL Manhattan, the town next to us here in Hell Kansas.) over the holiday weekend, and they each got a stuffed animal. Mads got a tiger, and Shane an otter. They took them to show and share on Thursday, still unnamed. Mads and her teacher decided on Tina the Tiger, but Shane still hadn't picked a name for his poor otter. I think we've decided on Obi the Otter. Why in the world I'm allowing MORE stuffed animals in this house is beyond me, I must be getting weak in my "old" age.

Anyone have any advice on nose picking? I swear, at any given moment you can look at my beloved son and his finger is piled up his nose. We cannot seem to stop this habit, he'll just cover his face or hide somewhere, and continue digging for gold. Oh, the joys of little boys. Ewwwww.... Of course, Maddie has been known to dig as well, the evidence on the wall next to her bed tells it all. Someone please tell me this stops...

Who said having children wasn't any fun?

Sharing the (link) love!

Some things that struck me as link-worthy today:

The guest post over at The Daily Bitch

The torn-up credit card application, found via Meritt. (Go wish Meritt and her hubby a happy anniversary!!) Check this out, it's unbelievable. I'm horrible about just tearing them up, and throwing them in the trash.

Buzz finally fufilled my ECF request, with some ultra-yummy David Beckham. Oh, there are other hotties over there, too. But LOOK! David Beckham!

IotW 7/2-7/8/2006

A hat tip to Jay on this one. Man abducts 4 year old girl, is caught when his vehicle is towed. He snatched the girl from the arms of her aunt, and a god samaritan gave chase. Because of the holiday weekend, there were quite a few police officers on patrol. The man parked his car blocking a driveway, and it was towed, leading to his arrest, and the safe return of the child. This story has a happy ending, and for that I'm glad this guy is such an idiot.

I was a horrible hostess!!

I did not fulfill my obligation to pimp out Melanie's blog, with only one post devoted to her oh-so-cool site. So, this is my make-up post... go check her out. If you aren't reading her site already, you don't know what you're missing!!! Now go on... get out of here!! Shoo!!!

Remember the CrazyRedneckGuy??

The one who pulled a gun on us on the highway? Well, I received a letter from the county attorney today, he was granted a diversion. He has to pay $642 in court costs and fines, relinquich his gun to the county sheriff, and refrain from using illegal drugs and/or alcohol. He also has to write us letters of apology, sent through the courts. If he violates any of the terms of the diversion it will be revoked. I am LIVID. A diversion means this won't even go on his record as long as he follows the terms. No jail time, not even fucking community service, for pulling a gun on 3 adults and 3 small children. N doesn't know yet, because he just got off a 24 hour shift and is asleep. Paul doesn't either because he's in San Diego on leave. I'm sure they will be just as furious when they find out. What a disgrace to our justice system.

Happy 4th of July!!!

I hope y'all had a wonderful, and safe holiday weekend!! Ours has been fairly uneventful, we took the kids to the zoo on Sunday, and we had a great time even though it was hotter than hell. Actually, most of the weekend was spent inside, because of the heat. I did attend a BBQ, out by the lake. When I arrived, most of the people there had been drinking for hours, and the host was beyond drunk. They guys started lighting off fireworks (with a tiki torch no less), and throwing them into the circle of chairs the rest of us were sitting in. Kids across the street were shooting roman candles at each other, and here we've got a bunch of grown men setting a WONDERFUL example by trying to kill themselves and their friends. Here's my advice... keg + fireworks + a tiki torch = disaster. Do not try this at home, folks!! Apparently, after I left, the guy who hosted it ended up burning his hand with the fireworks fiasco. Poor N got stuck with CQ duty today, a 24 hour shift. I'm sure it'll be an interesting one, since any trouble that occurs with the unit has to be called into CQ. So, I hope you have enjoyed your Independance Day, and the hangover gods are merciful to you tomorrow!

Slacking (IotW 6/25-7/1/2006)

I've been slacking on the Idiot of the Week thing again! I suck. Anyway, I've found my winner, woman robs bank, her note demanding the money was written on the back of a piece of mail, WITH HER ADDRESS ON IT. Apparently, the teller was an accomplice, and was also arrested, but wow, could you be and dumber??

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

New renter!!

My new renter is one of my favorite blogs, Melanie over at Plaid Toaster. Melanie has twin girls that just turned 6, so go wish them a happy belated birthday. She also celebrated her birthday last week, and, like me, June is a financial HELL month for her, with her birthday, the girls' birthday, and a bunch of other Gemini family members. I swear y'all, this is the other pea in my pod... go visit, you'll love her!

Black bra, pink shirt...

N sent me this picture from the pharmacy, with the message "Black bra, pink shirt... verdict?" Well, the verdict is "GUILTY!" of fashion faux pas... BIG TIME. Ladies, come on now... what would possess you to wear a dark bra under a light shirt?? I'm seeing this WAY too often lately, and it's making me sick. Please, invest in a light colored bra, it'll do wonders to improve the white trash look you're currently rocking.

An update on the credit situation

The energy company in question called me back, and played a recorded conversation to see if I recognized the voice of the person who opened the account. Of course, I didn't (hard to tell when all the person had to do was say "Yes" in response to some questions), nor did I know the number they used. She said the number came back as a possible cell phone, but even the area code is one I've never heard of. I explained that I wouldn't respond to Mrs. (Ex's last name), which the rep on the recording used, and that since I was a military dependent, anyone who got their hands on my ID card could easily copy down my name, social, spouse's social, and my birthdate. This is one of the dangerous things about the ID that I have to carry everywhere, and show multiple times a day. She agreed to take the record off, and it will be removed from my credit report. I'm quite pleased with how quickly they got back to me, and this rep was much more considerate and helpful than the first one I spoke with. The funny thing is if I COULD have used that energy company when living in TX, I would have... I had way too many problems with TXU, and would have switched given the chance. So, all's well that ends well, I suppose, now I just need to keep a close eye on my credit reports.

Bon Voyage...

My darling husband decided to surprise me with plans to take a cruise in August! We never had a honeymoon, and haven't been on a vacation together EVER, so I'm totally excited. We're going to drive down to the Dave Matthews Band concert in August, and my in-laws will be keeping the kids while we drive down to Galveston, and take a 5 day cruise to Meridia and Cozumel! This is going to be my first cruise, I'm praying all goes well weather-wise. The downside is the idea came because N has gotten orders for Korea, which is a one year unaccompanied tour. He may or may not end up going, but if he does I'll be staying here for another year, alone. Either way, we're going to make the best of this, and celebrate our second anniversary (December) a bit early, out at sea on our way to a beautiful beach in Mexico. SO. EXCITED!!!!

Go!!

Don't forget to go visit my renter, Scooter! You might find some great new music for your summer fun.

"Baby" Gym

Oh, the kids are SO going to "Baby" Gym tonight (open gymnastics play at a gym in the next town over) to burn off some energy. They are going absolutely crazy, bouncing off walls and running into each other. On days like this, "Baby" Gym is the best ten bucks ever spent!!!

Credit

I pulled my credit report today, because we're planning on buying a house next year, and want to clean up as many blemishes as possible before then. Imagine my surprise to find a delinquent account for an electric company I've never had. This is one of the major companies in TX, however I always had TXU when living in TX, so I disputed it through the reporting agency, and called the creditor. When I explained that I had never had an account with them, she asked for my TX address. The address she gave me as the service address is a couple hours away from ANYWHERE I lived in TX! UGH!!!! So, I'm like "What do I do to prove this wasn't mine, and that I didn't live there?" Of course, she said the reporting agency would dispute it (no shit, Sherlock, I know that!), and they would figure it out from there, but that takes 30 days, and they (electric company) could still say "Yeah, it belongs to her, it stays on the report." Meanwhile, I'm like "Ok, I have supporting documents to show I lived in a different town at the time, WTF?" So, I'm waiting for someone to return my call, although I'm not sure WHY because I was speaking to the fraud department to begin with, but this is more of a pain in the ass than I need on a Friday. Today's lesson?? Check your credit report.

Total Bullshit

We've been here at Fort Riley for 13 months now, and today was the FIRST FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting since I've been here. Now, the FRG is set up to keep spouses informed, and have a "chain of concern" for spouses to use when they need assistance from the unit. I was very active in my FRG at Fort Hood, it was a well organized, and active group. Usually the Captain's wife is the head of the group, and I was very close to mine. However, when I got to Riley, not a SINGLE person from the FRG called to welcome us here, to inform us of anything going on, etc. A couple months later, when N came down on orders for Iraq (they were cancelled 5 days before his flight), still no one contacted me, this is when the FRG is supposed to stand up and be there for the families. Now, the unit is disbanding, basically they will no longer exist by the end of next year, and between now and then everyone is either leaving or consolidating. So, today there was a MANDATORY meeting. I signed in, spent 20 minutes (it was a 2 hour meeting), and left. It made my blood boil to hear the LTC speak of keeping the same FRG contacts we already "know", such as N's CPT's wife. Well, I don't know who knows these people, but I have only met this woman twice, and both times were at a Baby Gym that we both happened to take our kids to. This unit has been a disgrace to their families, very few social events, no regular updates for the family members, hell the soldiers don't even know what's going on half the time. Where have these people been for the last year+, and why NOW are we being required to attend these meetings?? Just total bullshit, and I want no part of it. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that our next unit is more organized, and more family-oriented.

Flies

Ok, I've got a problem. Being outdoors with the kids is hard enough when it's close to 100 degrees, but the bigger problem is the flies. They aren't the horsefly biting kind, just plain ol' houseflies that will NOT leave me alone. I went and bought a bug zapper last night (OMG we look so White Trashy now!!), which works wonders at night, but is not so effective during the day. I've got bug spray on me, my clothes, and the camp chairs that are on our porch, but the flies laughed at the bug spray, and continue to swarm me. How do you get rid of these fuckers? The trash can is a decent distance from the house, so that's not the problem. My neighbor uses those fly trap bags out back by her dogs and over the picnic table, but they smell bad and gross me out. Anyone know how to keep the damn things away? Otherwise, I'll be spending the rest of the summer inside, and we all know how well THAT works with the kids.