Frustrations

Generally, I try not to blog too much about my ex-husband, he just generally doesn't warrant space here. Tonight I am going to write about the "current events", because I need to vent these frustrations. He's pretty much been a non-participant in the kids' lives, and we're fine with that. He was abusive during our marriage, and is no longer the type of person I want influencing my children. A little background... We had planned to split custody before we formally started divorce proceedings. Things started to not add up with his behavior, and I finally felt I needed to request full custody, and discuss restraining orders. We battled on this for a few months in court, where I was ripped to pieces and accused of the most horrid things. Finally, the attorney ad litem found out he had been arrested for DUI 6 months earlier, but had managed to conceal it until he was sentenced, at which point it was in the paper. He had been driving the kids around on a suspended license, and none of us knew. I was granted primary custody, and there were strict guidelines to visitation because of his DUI. He's in the military, and was being uncooperative with signing papers and handing over financial documents, so I finally got in contact with his chain of command for assistance. Well, there were more surprises to be found. He was being kicked out of the Army, and had been lying to them about various things in the divorce. Namely, he was saying we were still married and therefore collecting benefits from the government that he was not entitled to. I brought them up to speed on our divorce, showed them that not only was it finalized months earlier, but I had remarried, and needed my name and social taken off his papers. His command warned him to not use my social or the kids' for any reason, including taxes. Well, I filed my taxes with N this week, and it was rejected by the IRS, because my ex had used my children's' socials and claimed them as dependents. I went immediately to his 1SG, and was dealt yet another shock. He's being court martialed instead of chaptered out. There wasn't just one DUI, plus he had been caught with drugs on multiple occasions. The final straw that led to the court martial was forgery of government documents and impersonating a senior non-commissioned officer. Now he had added tax fraud to those charges. Basically, they can't actively help me clear up the tax thing (the IRS will do that but it takes 2 months or so), but the 1SG said "If they want to press charges, we will turn him over." Mind you, my ex has not even told us he's leaving the military (we would need to know since the children have health care through him) let alone the rest of the sordid details. Thankfully, he has not tried to take the kids for visitation, I'm terrified to think where he would run with them given the chance. Luckily, this isn't like the civilian world, the military has him on restricted duty pending the CM, he can't go anywhere alone. I'm really just angry and frustrated that I've spent thousands on this custody battle (and owe thousands more), almost lost my children, and no one would listen to me. The judge didn't believe me, and I couldn't prove any of it at the time, because he had been flying under the radar, so to speak. The military tends to keep things quiet whenever possible, and he had avoided the civilian police 99% of the time. Now, I can't afford to go back to court, and he has every right to take the children out of my custody, provided he follows the court guidelines. (Unless the military sentences him to jail time) It's my job to protect my children, and my hands are somewhat tied. For someone with anxiety disorder already, this is pushing my mind to the darkest corners of worry and fear. My family keeps asking "What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he doing this?" and I honestly don't have an answer. All I know is when you have nothing to lose anymore, you'll try anything, and that terrifies me.