Where's Yours?

This is a pretty neat site, especially if you are looking for outdoor activities to do with your family. It's sponsored by Nature's Valley (mmm, awesome granola bars), and users can add a pin to a location they enjoy in nature. I added one for whitewater rafting on the Deleware River in the Poconos. (Of course, it's been a few years, I was totally guessing the location... Anyway, go check it out, you're likely to find some cool spots in your area.

Pig

My MIL sent this to me. *wink*

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road...

They pass each other..
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells back out window, BITCH!

Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.

Thought for The Day: If only men would listen...

And this is why I don't hang out with many women....

Buzz mentioned the drama started at BlogHer over a post bashing "mommybloggers". That shit is hilarious, the ONLY reason I'm giving the dumbass who wrote it a link is so you can read the comments, and laugh at the arguements. Hey ladies, and this includes you, Sherri, why don't we all act like big girls? The closest thing I can compare this to is watching the guys talk shop, and bash each other's MOS, unit, division, etc. "Oh, infantrymen are nothing but stupid grunts." "Oh yeah? Well if you ain't Cav, you ain't shit." "Yeah, well, you're nothing but a finance REMF" (Rear-echelon motherfuckers, for those of you who aren't familiar with the term) Or, the different branches making fun of each other. So, when we are sitting here arguing over blogging, and bashing each other for the types of bloggers we are, especially at a convention created for WOMEN, we've officially hit a new low. I'm just going to print that post out, and hand it over next time one of my male friends asks me why I don't hook them up with a friend... because hanging out with women creates drama.

Edited: I said "dumbass who wrote it", and then realized this may actually be a pretty smart woman. There is no quicker way to bump up your stats, and your links, than piss off the "mommybloggers". A face-to-face with Dooce was mentioned in a later post, and Sherri has been posted a few times now about the whole drama. I don't know who she is, or what her stats were like before this, but I'd have to say this falls under the "bad press is better than no press" rule. WTG, enjoy the traffic while it lasts.

Birth Control in the US

It's funny how birth control is such a hot topic issue in a country where you can buy condoms at almost any store. The FDA is once again looking at the morning-after pill, Plan B, for OTC sales to women age 16 and older. This plan had stalled out for over a year, because of conservative opposition. Now, as for regular BC medications, I don't have an issue with them being prescription only, although I might feel differently if I did not have health insurance. However, Plan B must be taken within 72 hours to be effective (still only 89% effective, but better than nothing) which means getting a script, and getting it filled in time is difficult at best. This would be a huge stride in the right direction for women's reproductive rights at a time when the government is slowly chipping away at them.

On a separate note, why is this news? Ok, wow, an implantable BC method. I am pretty sure there has been one on the market in the US for a while now, called Norplant. What makes Implanon a big deal?? Anyone?

Randoms (I keep editing this to add more as the day goes on)

Shannon is in the middle of her Blogathon, so don't forget to go say "Hi!", and sponsor her!

Daxahol gave me today's line of the day... The ole “life gives you lemons, made lemonade” example has been overused, so try the “life gives you balls…suck em.”

I completely forgot that this weekend is BlogHer. Yeah, I had great intentions on attending this year, and visiting a few California friends in the process, but here I sit in KS, so you can see how well that worked out for me. I hope everyone attending is having a great time, and say "Hi!" to Grace for me!!

Conversation with a (single, kid-free) friend:
SF: (about friends moving across country) "We should totally go out to LA and see them."

Me: "Sounds great, but what do you propose I do with my kids?"

SF: "Don't they have kennels or something for that purpose?"

It was, of course, a joke, but it got me wondering... why aren't there kiddie kennels, staffed with SuperNanny wannabes, where you can go on vacation knowing your kids are learning, and being fed well-balanced meals? The alternative is sending them to the grandparents, where they are sure to be chocked full of sugar and junk, and come back spoiled rotten. Oh, crap... I'm about to do just that. Anyone know of a good Kiddie Kennel?

New hair product I am IN LOVE with... Aquage finishing spray. I heart it. Lots.

We don't watch the Wiggles in our house, but SJ has come up with a Wiggles drinking game. From the one or two episodes I've seen over time, I agree, we'll need a few cases of alcohol to play.

Conversation last night...
"So, Mike subscribes to a bunch of magazines. I open the mailbox and see Gentleman's Quarterly. My first thought is 'Hmm... I haven't seen this in a couple months."
Not everyone got it, which is a bit unsettling.

Obsession saved

Thank gawd, I don't have to give up on David Beckham after his little tighty-whitey pics, he's back to taking gorgeous pics again. Whew, that was a close one...

A vet??

A conversation between two of my friends last night. (They're roommates)

M: Remind me to call Yvette tonight.

B:Uh, ok.

B thinking: This is so going in the file of strange things M says. Why does she want to call a vet? We don't have any pets. And I don't know what ailment she's afflicted with, but I would think a human doctor would be a much better choice.

So, later in the evening, on the way out, B realizes she wasn't talking about a veterinarian, but one of her co-workers. You could almost see the lightbulb go on over his head, it was priceless. Meanwhile, I'm sitting in the backseat, and the first thing that comes to mind is "I'm so blogging this!"
Granted, the story is much better told in person, and even better if you know B, but the retelling to friends had me laughing most of the night.

Idiot of the Week 7/23-7/29/2006

Hat tip to Jay on this one. His 3 reasons for nominating this guy are as follows:

1. Shoves his granddaughter dangerously close to an elk to take a picture
2. Hits the woman who admonished him for doing so
3. Knocks down said woman's 82 year old father who is using a walker.

Bonus points for having outstanding child abuse warrants. Wow... someone might need some anger management.

For Shannon (Bumping up!!)

Most of you already know and love Shannon, AkaMonty, from The Daily Bitch. If you don't you should definitely be reading her site!! Anyway, she is doing a blogathon for the United Cerebral Palsy fund. This is a cause very close to her heart, because her son suffers from this crippling disease. So, go, and sponsor her, every little bit helps!! There are millions of causes out there, and this one is just as important as any other. We all opened up our hearts, and wallets last year in the aftermath of the hurricanes, and for various causes over the past few months, let's do it again to help those with CP.

In addition

I do have good news, though... (no, I didn't save a bunch of money on my insurance with Geico... USAA loves us more) I am minus the Twin Tyrants (stolen from Mark and his Tyrants) because their Sperm Donor (SD) is in town visiting. He brought his sister and her roommate, and when the 3 of them showed up yesterday I was already packing an overnight bag. Can you tell I needed a break? Well, I got distracted while swimming at a friend's house, and forgot to call and say goodnight, so I call at about 2130 (in the middle of "Rescue Me", that's dedication!!) to see how things were going. SD tells me they are still up, I mention to him their blankets and stuffed animals are in the bottom of the bag. Ooops... probably should have told him that to begin with! He calls me back about 15 minutes later to let me know that they went right to sleep after receiving their stuffed animals. Good deal. So, I have just the baby for most of this week, and she's asleep in the swing right now. Life is quiet, I don't have to watch Dora or hear bickering kids, I'm happy. Maybe now I can get caught up!!
(I do miss the little tyrants, though... as much as I hate to admit it!)

So behind!

I do still love you. Yes, YOU. I do read your blog, and I'm sorry for not commenting. I'm about 5 days behind on Bloglines, and it seems that you have been very busy writing posts, and I'm never going to catch up if you don't slow down a bit!! Now, I've drained my laptop battery, and must take a break from reading before I go blind.

UGH!!!!!

You know, this picture might have just ruined my slight obsession with David Beckham.

And if Dane Cook really is dating Jessica Simpson, I'll have lost all respect for him. The only good part is the break-up will bring some hilarious jokes.

That is all...

Coastie Rescue

Jake called me yesterday evening to let me know he was on his way to a water rescue, they were gearing up. He didn't have time to give me details, other than he had to get on his "Scuba Steve" gear, and you could hear the tension and excitement in his voice. I doubt very seriously that it was this rescue, considering Jake is stationed in Jacksonville, FL, but I'm dying to know what mission he was sent out on, and that he's ok. So, as soon as I can get ahold of him, I will update.

Anything to bump the last post down a bit...

Really, I can't bear to look at my stomach like that, that post might only make it another day or so, before it comes down. Anyway, It's not even 0645CST, I'm up, and NOT happy about it. I did go to bed shockingly early last night (9pm), but I hadn't gotten much sleep all weekend, so I guess I needed it. This getting up early crap is gonna kill me when I start working. I remember having to get up at the ass crack of dawn the last time I was working full time, and it damn near killed me. At least then, I had a Starbucks on the way to work, I don't get that luxury here, since the ONLY one in the area is completely on the other side of the town I'll be working in. Ugh!!! Anyone want to open a Starbuck franchise here? I'll totally be your manager, hell, I'll gladly work doubles!

Latest photo request

I cannot believe I am posting this, but I've also submitted it to The Shape of a Mother. Sandy asked to see my belly, in it's post-twins aftermath... and I've agreed to oblige.
May frighten the weak of heart, and/or small children!



So, while I weigh less now than I did when I got pregnant, I carry these so-called "badges of honor", at least until I'm done having children, and get some wonderful plastic surgeon to remove them. Call me vain, if you must, but I just can't find anything attractive about stretch marks covering my entire abdomen.

My new tattoo

I got a new tattoo this week it's on my left thigh, just below my hip. Bonus points if you know what it is, because so far only 2 friends knew what it was before I told them.

Dr. Phil

I don't normally get to watch any adult TV during the day, it's almost exclusively Nick Jr and Noggin in this house. However, tomorrows Dr. Phil show confronts an abusive boyf/husband (not sure if they are married or not) and the preview shows Dr. Phil getting up in the guy's face, asking him if it's intimidating to have someone bigger than you pushing you around. Of the few shows I've seen, I've grown to love Dr. Phil for his honesty, and I think this is one show everyone should see. I've been in a couple abusive relationships, I know what it does to you when you are constantly bullied and hurt by someone who is supposed to love you. Maybe if more abusers would get a reality check like Dr. Phil is dishing out to this punk, they could break the cycle, or at least the abused party would get out sooner. Some never make it out, and those of us that do usually wait way too long. Domestic violence is not something that should get a second chance, and no one should have to live in fear in their own home. I've been part of a few discussions where someone knows a neighbor or friend is being abused, but did nothing to step in out of fear of retaliation. If you suspect abuse, DO SOMETHING. I had my neighbors tell me after the fact that they used to hear us fighting, and were afraid to get involved. We shared a duplex, a simple anonymous call to the cops may have saved me a lot of pain and suffering. We've become so scared to do the right thing, because of the possible reprecussions that many people go against their instincts, and turn their heads to things they know are wrong. Don't... you may save someone's life, and if it were you, you would want someone to help, right?

Idiot of the Week 7/16-7/22/2006

I really struggled to find anyone truly worth of the award this week, but I think this guy will do. Man gets caught smuggling 6 eggs of endangered species in his underwear. Dude, did you REALLY think they were going to believe you had 8 balls? And your excuse of it being a surprise for your girlfriend, I'd be a little worried if a boyfriend presented me with a few endangered species as a surprise gift. How about diamonds, they always go over well. Dumbass!!!

Get Drunk Friday

12:25pm Saturday: Edited....
Wow, that's bad, I was that drunk by 10:25pm. I only made it to about midnight before it was decided that I should not be drinking anymore, and we left. I considered taking the audioblog down when I woke up this morning, but eh, what the hell, it can stay. I guess I should say that NORMALLY, I wouldn't have even started drinking until about that time, but I had gone out to dinner at 8, had a pre-dinner drink, we drank a bottle of merlot with our meal, and a post-dinner cocktail before we even headed to the bar. Merlot and I are not friends, because she snuck up on me, for sure. Thankfully, my hangover is pretty minimal, nothing 800mg of Motrin can't handle. Hope your Friday was as much fun as mine!!

First round of picture requests

Ok, here is RD 1 of the picture requests... I'm still taking requests, so comment, people!!!

Katy wanted to see where I kept my pills, p0rn, and liquor, you know... the things I use to relax. What are you trying to say, Katy?? *wink*

Pills are in my purse


Porn is actually in the upstairs bathroom cabinet. Technically, it's N's subscription to Playboy, but I do love me some Playboy. The best part of Nudie Magazine Day is finding the hidden bunny.


Liquor, the Corona is mine, the vodka and SoCo aren't, but here ya go...


Jay wanted a peek into my medicine cabinet, and out of the two in my house, this is the more interesting. Actually, the other cabinet in this bathroom has more stuff in it, and all meds are kept downstairs in the kitchen.

Boring, I know!

Mark wanted to see the box in the freezer where I keep the severed fingers from Get Drunk Fridays. Since my freezer is pretty small, there are no body parts, just some boring food. I generally don't sever any body parts during my drunken weekends, just the occasional spraying of Corona when flipping the bottle to sink the lime.


And lastly, my IRL friend (yes, I *do* have real friends... they don't ALL live in my computer. Wait, I met him online... DAMN!) B wanted me to post a picture of the gliders, to see if anyone else thinks they are fake. He is CERTAIN that they are not real animals, I've simply sewn wings onto rats, and made them up. Katy, please tell this man that they ARE real, and not anything like rats!!

I've got...

A job!! I start the beginning of September, since we're going on the cruise in August, and there are 5 weeks of training that I can't miss. I was pretty happy that I got a call within hours of submitting my resume on Tuesday, and got an interview today, then hired on the spot!! Yay me! The guy who interviewed me was concerned about my short work history over the past couple years, but when I explained to him why the jobs were short lived, and also that I could have lied on my application and claimed to have been a SAHM during that time, but felt I should be honest instead, he seemed satisfied with my response. It is an inbound call center for a major cell company (not the one I use, but he confessed his private cell is with the same company as mine, LOL), customer service/retention agent. I'm totally excited!!! Ok, I'll be taking pictures later for the first round of requests, so keep them coming. What would you like to see if you could come visit me?

Ok, it's that time again!!

Last year, (I think it was last year) I allowed y'all to make requests of pictures you wanted to see from my house. Since I'm having some blogger's block, I'm going to do it again. All reasonable requests will be fulfilled, along with a link to the requester (requestor??). Who doesn't love links??? So, if you came over to my house, where would you like to go snooping? If you don't want to snoop (yeah right, we ALL snoop once in a while!), what are you curious about? Very little is off limits, as long as it won't incriminate me, or get my site flagged, I'll take the pictures and post them. Come on, comment with your requests!

Idiot of the Week 7/9-7/15/2006

It looks like the LAPD cop who got shot by his toddler is our winner for IotW. Hopefully, he makes a full recovery, and learns to secure his weapon.

Hilarious!

Dane Cook making fun of Tom Cruise on Jimmy Kimmel... priceless!

IotW nominees

I've gotten 3 nominees for Idiot of the Week this week, so I thought I'd offer it up for a vote.

First up, woman calls 911 to get "cutie pie" cop to come back to her house. She was arrested for misuse of the emergency call system. Ok, lady... if you are THAT hard up for a date, why not GO DOWN TO THE STATION? Jeez, call the non-emergency line, walk in, whatever... don't call 911! (Thanks to my MIL for the link!)

Second, we have the 14 year old drunk driver. He was apparently the more sober driver between him and his father, so his father let him drive. He totalled the 2001 Mustang on the way home. Now, there are so many things wrong here. The father let the 14 year old drink, then he let him drive, and I don't know how tall this kid is, but I've driven my friend's Mustang (sober of course), and I have trouble seeing over the dash. At what point it seemed like a good idea to hand over the keys to a sports car to your drunk 14 year old, I don't know. I'd love to hear the thinking behind that one!! (Hat tip to Jay on this one)

Finally, we have the LAPD cop who was shot by his 3 year old son. He left his loaded service revolver in the backseat of his vehicle, the toddler got ahold of it, and shot him, accidentally of course. The child was not in a safety seat at the time of the incident. So many things wrong with this picture as well... (Again, thanks to my MIL for the link!)

Let the voting begin... My personal vote goes to the guy who let his drunk 14 year old drive.

Disorder in American Courts

I recieved this from my MIL, I hope it makes you chuckle...
These are from a book called DISORDER IN THE AMERICAN COURTS, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And it what ways do it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I cant remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
___________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one year old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one...
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh...
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And whose death was it terminated?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: All your responses must be oral, ok? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Thanks anyway

I don't know if it was the Darwin fish on the back of my van, or the fact that I have piercings in my face, or just her gut, but this lady circled around me a bit while I was sitting in the van at the commissary, gathering up stuff to do my grocery shopping. I kind of noticed her looking at me, and once I made eye contact she walked over, so I rolled down my window. She handed me one of those religious pamphlets, and said "This is for you." I thanked her, rolled my window back up, and continued what I was doing. The pamphlet ended up in the trash on the way in, and I saw her as I was getting peanut butter. I find it incredibly irritating when people push their religion on others, especially complete strangers. Anyone else get irritated by this? The worst part is the woman looked scared of me, like she might catch my "ungodliness" or something. Ugh!

Insert Title Here

There is change in the air. That is all...

Randomness abounds!

Said to me last week, but just popped in my head for some reason.

"You smell like Spring Break."

[Thinking} Huh? There is a Spring Break smell? I haven't been to the beach, or put on sunscreen, or any other smell that would remind me of Spring Break. Hmmm... Oh yeah, the" Need a margarita?" body scrub I used. This might explain it.

"Ok, that's my body scrub, it smells like margaritas."

"Yep, that's it. Spring Break."

Glad that's settled. Is Margarita the official smell of Spring Break?

Uh, ok... and some other randoms

I think Busy Mom said it best with WTF??

Also, I found this via Blogging Baby, The Shape of a Mother. It is NSFW, due to nudity, but is a new site dedicated to showing what the aftermath of child-bearing really looks like, no matter what Hollywood tells us. I don't know, I want plastic surgery pretty bad, I know it's shallow but I can't find the "beauty" of my stretch marks and sagging boobs. I want my 23 year old body to LOOK 23 years old, or at least something close to it. I may sumbit a picture anyway, strength in numbers and all that, but I still haven't come to terms with my ruined abs, and I'm not sure I ever will.

Best blog-line I've read so far? Over at Christine's "Reasons Why I Hate My Husband."
(Discussing the husband's weekend bout of depression)
"Ummm, anything I can do?"

"How about a blow job or some Chinese food?"

The Sweet and Sour Shrimp were excellent.
(I'm STILL laughing at that!)

Go offer Jenn some support, her dad is in the hospital.

Waiter discussing the World Cup and it's effect on his kitchen staff. Their Sous chef is Italian, but much of the other kitchen staff is Mexican, and once Mexico was eliminated they were rooting against Italy. Well, Italy's win proved entertaining for the staff. I was rooting for Italy, in case you were wondering, after England (*swoon* Beckham!!) was eliminated.

And finally, my playlist for the day.
DMB~ Typical Situation
DMB~ The Dreaming Tree
DMB~ Crazy
DMB~ Lover Lay Down
DMB~ Crush
Garth Brooks~ The Dance
Garth Brooks~ Good Ride Cowboy
Pat Green~ Wave on Wave
Pat Green~ Three Days
Rascal Flatts~ God Blessed The Broken Road
Rascal Flatts~ Fast Cars and Freedom
Rascal Flatts~ What Hurts The Most
Rascal Flatts~ I Melt
Tim McGraw/Faith Hill~ It's Your Love
Toby Keith~ American Soldier

A strange mix, I know.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

While out Friday night, I saw Kasey Kahne on the TV (no closed captioning, too noisy to hear it), apparently having won a race, but it was Friday night, so I couldn't figure out what he had won. I was with a bunch of non-race fans, so I was the only one paying attention. I got all excited when I noticed Kasey in Victory Lane, but said "Kasey won, but there's no race today. DAMMIT! I don't know what happened!!" The line of the weekend was delivered at that moment...

"I'm pretty sure there were left turns involved."

Thank you, Captain Obvious. How much did you pay for that nice degree you've got? Jerk.

RIAA vs Band Preferences

Did I mention we're going to see Dave Matthews Band in August? Well, a little bit of background for those of you unfamiliar with DMB. They do not mind their fans recording their shows, and file sharing their music. They are against the whole RIAA "Sharing is stealing" thing, because they know that bands start out with word of mouth, and if it weren't for sharing most bands wouldn't ever get a record deal. DMB is obviously very successful, they tour nearly non-stop, and sell out huge arenas. Anyway, the dilemma is I want to tape the show, but I know that my camera will be confiscated if security catches it. DMB can say "Let our fans tape the show", but security and the area they are playing will stop the fans anyway. I'll have my cell, so I can take short voice clips, and pictures, but no video. Still, a quick search of my*space shows that it IS possible to sneak the cameras in, so how do these people pull it off?? I think I'd be more likely to risk it if we were sitting up close, but we're doing lawn seating. (I've seen them at the Tweeter Center in Camden, NJ, lawn seating, and Veteran's Stadium in Philadelphia, I prefer lawn seating for their shows.) Anyway, I may try to sneak in a handheld digital voice recorder, if nothing else. Damn recording industry nazis!!

Kiddie randoms

Some randoms from the munchkin crew this week. I picked them up from pre-school Thursday, and Maddie's teacher said Mads had INSISTED she see "my mommy's pretty nails". Now, I have strong natural nails, but they are in horrible disrepair right now, as I've been working on refinishing the dining table. I don't know if Mads was thinking of my toenails, which are usually painted, but weren't at the time. So, completely baffled, I showed the teacher my hands, and we had a good laugh about it. If nothing else, my daughter still thinks I'm beautiful. *melt*
Of course, with the cute comes the not-so-cute. My Coke is sitting behind me on the accent table. Mads just reached over, and took a sip, I barely caught her out of the corner of my eye. Hey!! You're not allowed to drink Mommy's soda!
Conversation a few minutes ago.
Shane: "Mommy, Daddy is TWENTY EIGHT!"
Me: "Yes, buddy, he is."
Madison: "Mommy, you're 24!!"
Me: "No baby, I'm 23. I'll be 24 in September, in a couple months." (We've been discussing birthdays a lot lately, since they just had theirs, and Nate's was 8 days later)
Mads: "But WHY?? You're 24!!"
Me: *sigh* "Not yet, baby, I will be in a couple months."
There is no convincing her, and since everything is either "yesterday" or "tomorrow" wth Shane, he's decided tomorrow is my birthday. Maybe I should take advantage of the situation.

We took the kids to the zoo in Manhattan (no, not the REAL Manhattan, the town next to us here in Hell Kansas.) over the holiday weekend, and they each got a stuffed animal. Mads got a tiger, and Shane an otter. They took them to show and share on Thursday, still unnamed. Mads and her teacher decided on Tina the Tiger, but Shane still hadn't picked a name for his poor otter. I think we've decided on Obi the Otter. Why in the world I'm allowing MORE stuffed animals in this house is beyond me, I must be getting weak in my "old" age.

Anyone have any advice on nose picking? I swear, at any given moment you can look at my beloved son and his finger is piled up his nose. We cannot seem to stop this habit, he'll just cover his face or hide somewhere, and continue digging for gold. Oh, the joys of little boys. Ewwwww.... Of course, Maddie has been known to dig as well, the evidence on the wall next to her bed tells it all. Someone please tell me this stops...

Who said having children wasn't any fun?

Sharing the (link) love!

Some things that struck me as link-worthy today:

The guest post over at The Daily Bitch

The torn-up credit card application, found via Meritt. (Go wish Meritt and her hubby a happy anniversary!!) Check this out, it's unbelievable. I'm horrible about just tearing them up, and throwing them in the trash.

Buzz finally fufilled my ECF request, with some ultra-yummy David Beckham. Oh, there are other hotties over there, too. But LOOK! David Beckham!

IotW 7/2-7/8/2006

A hat tip to Jay on this one. Man abducts 4 year old girl, is caught when his vehicle is towed. He snatched the girl from the arms of her aunt, and a god samaritan gave chase. Because of the holiday weekend, there were quite a few police officers on patrol. The man parked his car blocking a driveway, and it was towed, leading to his arrest, and the safe return of the child. This story has a happy ending, and for that I'm glad this guy is such an idiot.

I was a horrible hostess!!

I did not fulfill my obligation to pimp out Melanie's blog, with only one post devoted to her oh-so-cool site. So, this is my make-up post... go check her out. If you aren't reading her site already, you don't know what you're missing!!! Now go on... get out of here!! Shoo!!!

Remember the CrazyRedneckGuy??

The one who pulled a gun on us on the highway? Well, I received a letter from the county attorney today, he was granted a diversion. He has to pay $642 in court costs and fines, relinquich his gun to the county sheriff, and refrain from using illegal drugs and/or alcohol. He also has to write us letters of apology, sent through the courts. If he violates any of the terms of the diversion it will be revoked. I am LIVID. A diversion means this won't even go on his record as long as he follows the terms. No jail time, not even fucking community service, for pulling a gun on 3 adults and 3 small children. N doesn't know yet, because he just got off a 24 hour shift and is asleep. Paul doesn't either because he's in San Diego on leave. I'm sure they will be just as furious when they find out. What a disgrace to our justice system.

Happy 4th of July!!!

I hope y'all had a wonderful, and safe holiday weekend!! Ours has been fairly uneventful, we took the kids to the zoo on Sunday, and we had a great time even though it was hotter than hell. Actually, most of the weekend was spent inside, because of the heat. I did attend a BBQ, out by the lake. When I arrived, most of the people there had been drinking for hours, and the host was beyond drunk. They guys started lighting off fireworks (with a tiki torch no less), and throwing them into the circle of chairs the rest of us were sitting in. Kids across the street were shooting roman candles at each other, and here we've got a bunch of grown men setting a WONDERFUL example by trying to kill themselves and their friends. Here's my advice... keg + fireworks + a tiki torch = disaster. Do not try this at home, folks!! Apparently, after I left, the guy who hosted it ended up burning his hand with the fireworks fiasco. Poor N got stuck with CQ duty today, a 24 hour shift. I'm sure it'll be an interesting one, since any trouble that occurs with the unit has to be called into CQ. So, I hope you have enjoyed your Independance Day, and the hangover gods are merciful to you tomorrow!

Slacking (IotW 6/25-7/1/2006)

I've been slacking on the Idiot of the Week thing again! I suck. Anyway, I've found my winner, woman robs bank, her note demanding the money was written on the back of a piece of mail, WITH HER ADDRESS ON IT. Apparently, the teller was an accomplice, and was also arrested, but wow, could you be and dumber??