I feel pretty!!

Heather from Swank Webstyle has given me my first blog makeover!! I feel like a beauty queen!! It's making me all giddy, and causing the overuse of exclaimation marks!! So... go ahead, tell me how gorgeous I am, you know you want to, dah-ling. While you're at it, please head on over to Swank, and let them treat you like the royalty you are!! Really, there are tons of design companies out there, but check out the designers' portfolios at Swank, they are sure to have something to fit your needs!

Bummer

In case you haven't already noticed, today is a multi-post kind of day. I'm thinking that as the weather gets colder, and the snow gets deeper, you'll see more of me around, because there is only so much one can do indoors. Besides, I need some excuse to not clean my house, it's haunting me, but I can't seem to muster up enough drive to get scrubbing.

Now for the regularly scheduled programming. I might have mentioned before how military healthcare sucks the big one. Still, every once in a while you find a "diamond in the rough", a doctor who takes excellent care to a new level. I had found that with a Colonel here, he's a nurse practitioner who actually took the time to listen, treat, and problem solve with me. I called to make a follow up for my Happy Pills (take that, Tom CrazyCruise!) and found out he has taken over the administration of Clinic 1 (he had mentioned that last time I saw him). This means he has very few actual appointments, but he had conveyed his ideas for bettering the health clinics for our families, and I think he's going to really make a difference as head of the clinic. So, I requested an appointment with another practitioner in Clinic 1, even though it is not my "assigned" clinic, because I think I'm better off sticking with someone who is operating under his instruction. It's all too rare to find quality healthcare in the US, and even more so in the military health system (they are exempt from malpractice suits, making it appealling for lower quality civilian docs to work for the military hospitals). So, here's hoping the practitioner I see is as wonderful as my (self-admitted) former hippie Colonel, and practices the same type of "Mind, body, spirit" medicine. I really hope we as Americans find a better system for taking care of our citizens, where quality care is affordable for all, and doctors don't have to go bankrupt treating everyone. Wouldn't that be nice?

All you can eat

If I hear the words "I'm hungry!!" one more time, I might snap. Believe me when I say my kids are well fed, they have healthy meals and snacks throughout the day, with water available at all times, and juice and milk with meals. So when, in the last few days, my son has acted like a bottomless pit, it's more than a bit irritating. I'm not talking normal growth spurt eating, I'm talking about finishing breakfast, putting his bowl in the sink, and immediately telling me he's starving. Repeat the same scenario at lunchtime, and and then dinner, but when I offer a healthy snack he refuses it. So... you're hungry, but only for junk food? Um, nice try. Any ideas to satiate the hungry, hungry hippo without buying the whole grocery store and needing a forklift to get him in his carseat? I'm at a loss here. On the flipside of that, my itty-bitty Princess still seems to be at a growth standstill. Perhaps Shane stole all of the growing genes in utero, leaving Mads to be a sprite. Maybe she'll grow up to be like me, and survive on Coke** alone. There are worse things, I suppose.

**No, we don't allow our 3 year olds to drink Coke. We're not that horrible at parenting!!

Randomness

A few random points for everyone today. First of all, I logged into Bloglines today to find Buzz has returned to us!! Go say "Hi!" and scold him for leaving us for so long!
Next is the age old question of comments. I've had this discussion before, but somehow never acted upon it, so this time I shall try harder. I enjoy emailing responses to comments, but too often Haloscan doesn't actually send all of the comments. So, from now on I'll be replying to your witty banter in the comments section. I know MDMHVONPA (btw, can we get a shorter nickname for you, dude? You're killing me here!) is among the many who reply in comments, and I often find myself checking back to see what he has to say. So? Check back for more witty banter!!
Also, go over to Cori's and check out her new pretty digs. She got herself a makeover, and I'm planning to get a bit of a lift here as well.
Lastly, who gave my son the drama pill this morning? Come on, step up, so I can kick your ass. Really, one more croc tear over the silliest slight might push me over the edge, into the Valium Housewife club. Y'all might think I'm kidding, but I'm really not.

Perfect Match

I watch my friend's daughter, Yalyssa, a few days a week. She's a year younger than my kids, almost to the day. Shane and Yalyssa are 2 peas in a pod. Two arguing peas to be exact. They argue over anything and everything, all day long. For example, their daddies work together, but they love to argue over who's daddy is at work. They also like to argue over what toys from TV commericals belong to whom, which movie is "theirs", who gets to do what, and anything else they can find. It was endearing at first, but it got old quick. I'm constantly telling them to stop arguing, stop tattling on each other, just be nice to each other!! Of course, it's not mean-spirited arguing, just the two of them vying for Alpha Kid status. I swear these two are gonna grow up and marry, only to fight over who gets te remote, and which family to spend Thanksgiving with.

Delicioso!

My friend Yeida is Puerto Rican, as in "actually from Puerto Rico". The girl can cook!! She made some empanadas on Thanksgiving, a regular batch with green olives, and a batch for Nate without the olives. YUMMY!!! I'm eating the last two non-olive ones (they aren't nearly as good as the others) and told N we totally need to buy a deep fryer, and have Yeida teach me to make them. I'm a little in love....

Blogging Business

Cori and I were discussing all things blogging, and the topic of blogging to make a buck came up. Now, I'm not talking about putting some ads, or a Paypal button on your site to try and bring in a little extra income. I understand, and even have ads of my own. What we were talking about was the overly aggressive ads, and constant blogging about your latest get-rich-quick blogging idea. People like Busy Mom make a penny or two off their ads without beating us over the head with them. That's awesome, and more power to them for having enough traffic to pull it off. Others spend 95% of their blog time alienating their readers with this idea to make a bundle, or the latest ad idea to get rich. That's obnoxious. Seriously. If this hits a bit too close to home, you should really think about it, and analyze your stats. You're annoying your readers.

Auntie Em!! **updated**

We've been having some severe storms today, and we actually had a tornado touchdown less than a mile from my house. Our housing area is fine, other than lost power for about an hour, but another housing area has been trashed. Roofs ripped off, windows blown out, bad, but so far we think everyone is ok. The tornado was relatively minor, thankfully. It's been an interesting day, to say the least. How are you doing today?

CNN covered the story here... scroll down to Tornado Damage, apparently 30 homes were hit on post, and 17 families are now homeless. The good news is there aren't majro housing shortages here, so these families should be easily relocated, but it's still scary!!

Tag!

Addict did the "back when" meme, and passed the baton to anyone who wanted it. I've done this meme before, but it's been while, so I thought I'd give it another go. I'm not tagging anyone, so if you''d like to do it just let me know in comments!!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was 13, in 8th grade, and getting grounded a lot. I was rebellious, and my parents were strict.

What were you doing 5 years ago?
Shamefully, I must admit I was doing drugs 5 years ago. It'll be 5 years in February since I cleaned up.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Sitting in the hospital with my baby girl, her little leg badly broken.

5 snacks you enjoy
chips and dip
Twizzlers
chocolate
sharp cheese and crackers
cinnamon toast

5 songs to which you know all the lyrics
Whats Your Fantasy remix (Ludacris f. Shawna, Foxy Brown, and someone else I can't think of right now)
Fast Cars and Freedom (Rascal Flatts)
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song (the show is on, and I do know the theme song!!)
Crazy (DMB)
Ants Marching (DMB)

5 things you'd do if you were a millionaire
Pay off debt
Buy a second vehicle
Invest
Invest
Invest

5 Bad Habits
Smoking
picking at my skin
staying up too late
bitching
cussing

Five things you like doing
surfing the net (DUH)
sleeping
shopping
baking
scrapbooking (I'm SUCH a mom!)

5 things you would never wear again
Never say never, lest it come back to bite me in the ass

5 favorite toys
Laptop
sewing machine
digital camera
um... that's it for me

So, who's playing along??

Signs

There are a few possibilities here, and they are all painful.
A. I'm getting old, and arthritis is setting in.
B. I'm too acclimated to warm weather, and the cold is causing the pain in my joints
C. I spend too much time on the computer (which only accounts for the pain in my hands)

**Sigh** Pass the Motrin...

The Deals!! The DEALS!!

Oh my... there are some GREAT deals going on today. Yeida and I were at the PX at 5am, and there were already people waiting to get in. We were in and out in 20 minutes, I bought the kids a 20" flat screen TV/DVD player for their room for $100 I am now hearing Wal*mart had theirs at $89, but that wasn't the case when we got to Wal*mart at 6:40am. We cleaned up at Wal*mart, because they were matching any advertised price, so we brought all of our ads and got discounts all around. Next to Target, who was the least impressive of all the stores, their deals suck, they didn't price match, they just bit the big one. We grabbed some breakfast and headed to Kmart, where I got in a verbal altercation. You see an old woman was walking down the middle of the drive, and I had to hit my brakes because I didn't see her. I beeped my horn to let her know I was behind her, and then noticed her middle-aged daughter about 20 feet behind me. I say "noticed" because she alerted me by calling me a bitch. Feeling pretty bad about not noticing the older woman, and having to stop short, I apologized as we were walking in.
(Me) I'm sorry!! I wasn't trying to be a bitch, I really didn't see her.
(Her... 5 seconds later as we're walking away) Yes, you were! (trying to be a bitch)
(Me) Excuse me?? I was trying to apologize for my mistake, and you want to look at me and assume I'm an asshole.
(Her, snickering) Right, sure you are. I said OK!!
(Me) No, what you SAID was "Yes you were!", when I'm trying to be nice and apologize.
(Her) Right, whatever you say...
(Me) Fine, FUCK YOU, LADY!!

That's what I get for trying to do the right thing, I am gonna stop being polite to people. Either way, for all of the people who acted like asses this morning, karma is a bitch, so I'm sure it will be promptly paid back. I tried to be very nice, even when people were acting like complete idiots. The best part of the day (besides saving a ton of money) was shopping with my friend, we had such a blast. I wish more people would enjoy the shopping fun, rather than get all twisted out of shape. We laughed so much, and felt so giddy, definitely a fun time bonding over sales!
So, in addition to the TV, I bought a portable DVD player, a toy chest, 2 dvds, slippers for Yeida's daughters, stocking stuffers, a blanket for the playroom, and gifts for Nate. (I'd totally tell you the AWESOME deals I got on his stuff, but he reads my blog and I don't want to ruin the surprise.) Among some of Yeida's awesome deals, the Dora Talking Kitchen for $69, Pegasus Barbie horse for $18, V-smile cartidges for $14, a breadmaker for $24, a Batman dress up set for $10, and a "The Longest Yard" for $7. So, did you find any deals today?? Hopefully, no one got in any fights!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

To all (3) of my American readers, have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble Gobble!! To everyone else, have a great day!

Here is the required "What I'm thankful for" post. Bear with me as I get sappy while reflecting on the blessings of my life. This year I am most grateful the progress my family has made. We've come so far in the past year, and overcome many struggles. I'm thankful for my wonderful husband and beautiful children, the home we share and the things we can provide each other. I'm thankful for all the struggles we've seen, as they've made us appreciate the good things all that much more. I'm grateful for my friends, both "in real life" and online, and for the opportunity to meet new people every day. I'm thankful for life, even when it kicks my ass. And of course, I'm thankful for Coke... how else would I get through the day!! :) I hope that all of you can find things in your life to be thankful for, and don't forget to tell those you love that you appreciate them. Enjoy your holiday!!!

More Black Friday Insanity!

Target is doing a tuck in and wake up call for Black Friday sales. N saw the commercial, and signed me up... I will be getting a nighty-night message from Brad Paisley (YUM!) and a wake up from Kermit the Frog. I don't know if I'll be getting any sleep (I'm so freakin' excited!!), but I think this is a cute little idea! Want a wake up call of your own? Go here, and choose your caller, or email me and I'll harass you at half past crack o'dawn!

Thinking...

I wonder if Santa and the Easter Bunny get holiday pay. They probably bank working their magic on the holidays!!

We have officially reach the start of the cooking marathon. Like any sport, endurance is found by starting out at a reasonable pace. Tonight I have started with the pies, my house is filling with the sweet, inviting scent of the classic apple pie.

I'm also chugging along on the kids' playroom... I've cut the fabric for the window dressings, and framed some pictures. I found 2 different calendars for $1 a piece, the photographs from the calendars make beautiful prints. Gotta love that budget decorating!

So, tell me about *your* Thanksgiving plans!

**On a more personal note, could y'all think a few good thoughts for my family? My mom called tonight to tell me my Grammy was taken to the hospital this weekend, and may not make it. I'm heartbroken, and feeling guilty that I live so far away from the rest of my family. Thanks.

WTF Kids' shows

I can stand most of the shows on Nick Jr and Noggin, but every once in a while a show just really drives me nuts. The one that irks me the most (besides Calliou on PBS, my kids are not allowed to watch that whiney little brat) is Max and Ruby. First, the theme song makes you want to kick someone, or at least yell a lot. Then there are the characters. A nearly non-verbal little bunny named Max (age 3), and his big sister named Ruby (age 7). Max is a little brat, never doing what he's told. Ruby is an insufferable, bossy know-it-all who is constantly talking down to Max. There is a Grandma that comes around once in a while, but for the most part there are never any adult bunnies around. WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? Why is Ruby parenting this toddler? Who is supposed to be parenting Ruby? Why does she have to be so annoying? What will she scold Max for next?! See?!?! This show makes me want to throw things at the TV and hit my satellite receiver with a hammer. Not fun!!

Santa is NOT a millionaire!!

Cori and I were discussing the Xbox 360 phenomenon, people camped out last night to buy it when it was released, planning on reselling them on Ebay. At first this seemed absurd, could one really make THAT much profit one these things? Well, apparently you can, they are selling on eBay for up to $2,000. Even if you bought it for $800, you'd make a pretty penny.
On the flip side of that, who spends that kind of money on a Christmas gift? You could wait 3 months and get it for retail price, but people are actually willing to spend thousands to get it now. There is something really wrong with that. I'm all for making your kids happy for Christmas, but even Santa has his limits. Can we say "spoiled"?? There are people starving in this world, and Americans throw away money like it's nothing just to satisfy their need for instant gratification.
For the record, I think Microsoft is a shitty company for doing this. They were supposed to release twice as many systems, and were conveniently short come today. Can we say "marketing ploy"?

Regularity

There is no one more "regular" in this world than my son. Ever morning N gets the kids up and feeds the breakfast. As soon as Daddy leaves Shane is standing by my bed telling me he has to poop. Well, go then, son... have a good time! There is nothing like waking up to wipe someone's butt before you even have your contacts in, or even have your first Coke of the day. (Duh... of course I drink Coke to wake-up instead of coffee. Are you new here?) The end result is I know I can stay in bed when N is telling me "Hon, I'm leaving!!" without worrying the kids will be unattended, because Shane will come get me before N turns the street corner. Ah, the joys of parenting.

Weighing my options

Everyone has to make difficult decisions from time to time. College or a job, marry this person or live the single life, breast or bottle... you get the idea. I'm facing a choice right now, and it's a tough one to say the least. You see, I'm a fairly small chick, and I try to keep my weight down. However, I've gained about 10 pounds in the last year, and while not overweight, I could stand to lose those extra pounds. Unfortunately, there is a problem. My tatas look better than they have in years, thanks to the extra weight. My jeans are too tight, but my cups runneth over. Do I give up a nice rack to get my smaller waistline back, or proudly flaunt a bit of spare tire that brought the titty fairy? Of course, the cat is out of the bag, we are trying to have a baby, so all of this may be for nothing, but in the meantime a decision must be made. Oh, the heartache...

Priceless

A little background, we're trying to have another baby. My grandmom called this morning to chat, and asked how things were coming on the baby front. I expressed my frustration at getting my hopes up, then seeing negative tests month after month. She suggested basal temp charting, and I told her we had already started that, but it was a royal pain in the ass. Her response? "You don't have to take it down *there*, do you? I thought you could take it orally!!" No Gram, not a LITERAL pain in the ass, it was a figure of speech! I about fell out of my chair laughing, explaining it was a pain because I don't wake at the same time each day, so N takes my ORAL temperature while I'm half asleep. Gotta love family, who else would be so concerned with the state of your butt?

Black Friday

I am SO excited for Black Friday this year. Our main gift to the kids is a playroom with a TV/DVD player, so I'll be hitting the deals at the PX and Walmart for the Black Friday/Saturday deals. YAY!! Do you brave the mobs on Black Friday, or wait for sales after the weekend? If you ARE a Black Friday shopper, go to GottaDeal for sneak peeks at sales at some of the major retailers. You can see what's going to be on sale before the ads are released, and plan out your morning. Enjoy!!

A Majority

"Evil Liberal" Michael Moore has compiled the recent polls by CNN, CBS,ABC, NBC, AP/Ipsos, USA Today, and other polling resources on the President's handling of Iraq, the war (remember people, we are no longer at "WAR" according to the administration) in general, and military strength. Ignore the fact that the compilation is hosted on Michael Moore's site, do your own research into the validity of the polls if you'd like, and then ponder the results of the various polls. The majority of Americans have lost faith in our President, and feel that we are continuing a huge mistake in Iraq. People want to bash Democrats for denouncing the administration, but the sad truth is the majority of Americans now agree with them. You say it weakens the solidarity to speak publicly against the presidency? Well, these polls are public knowledge, the "enemy" can see them just as easily as we can. Maybe it's time for a change, time to admit mistakes and start fixing the problems. Clinton was impeached for getting a blow job and lying about it, why isn't Bush impeached for invading a country and lying about it? His lies have been much more detrimental to the American public. You wanna talk "family values"?? I VALUE my FAMILY, and don't want my husband to die over someone else's deception. Speaking against the war does not mean we don't support the troops, on the contrary, we support utilizing the troops appropriately, and not taking unnecessary risks with their well being. Soldiers are not expendable items, they are fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, sons and daughters, and we need to remember that before throwing them into harm's way for all the wrong reasons.

Why Insurance Companies Suck

In general, we're very lucky to have our insurance. We don't pay anything for most situations, no premiums, etc. However, I have to be seen by a post doc, or get authorization to go off post. Well, I need to be seen ASAP, it's not an EMERGENCY situation (life, limb, eyesight, or unbearable pain), but it is pretty urgent**, at least to me. Here's the TMI, I've broken out with some cystic acne, and the left side of my face is swollen like a balloon. It's all fun and games until somebody's face blows up! So, I call for an appointment, nothing on the schedule for my preferred provider, I'll take first available. Oh, that's 10 days from now. FUN! No "same day" appointments (read: "urgent care") available either. Well, this is not good. I'm told by patient appointments to either call back Monday to see if there are any cancellations, or go to the ER. Do I REALLY want to go to the ER over some acne? No. Do I really want to deal with another 10 days of pain and swelling on my face? No. This is humiliating enough (and yet, here I am blogging about it!!) I am not very happy. I call TriCare for some suggestions on what to do, and after talking to an idiot for 10 minutes, I'm no better off. Let's see, the advice she gave me.
*I don't know what your question is.
*Since your doctor is no longer there, you have to call Patient Advocate for a referral off post. (My doc IS here, there are just NO appointments in ANY of our clinics) Oh. Nevermind.
*Go to an urgent care facility (Where can I find one I am allowed to go to?) I don't know, I'm in Colorado
*Go to the ER. (Even though it's not REALLY an emergency?) Well, no.
*Call for a referral to an offpost provider. (How long does that take?) I don't know, just let them know your doctor is no longer here and you need a referral. (Didn't we just have this conversation? My doctor IS here. Even still, I'd see ANY doc who can see me. I JUST CANNOT GET AN APPOINTMENT!
*Well, go to an Urgent Care or the ER. (Um, thanks. You've been a great help)

So, I guess I've got to decide if I want to go to the ER for a giganormous zit that has fucked up my whole face, or throw a bag over my head and hope for the best until after Thanksgiving. I'll probably go into the ER and beg for a cortisone shot, and some Xanax. I hate military healthcare.

**I'd like to go on record saying I'm not being a priss here. I have suffered through some horrible and humiliating breakouts, continuing with school, work, and life in general. However, this is particularly ouchie and the whole swollen face/lymph nodes thing sucks.

Happy 13 months!!

I was editing my profile on Blogger, and realized I totally missed my 1 year blogoversary! How could I have forgotten? Anyway, it's been 13 months of blogging, and I'm so grateful for those of you who read my mindless blather. This is my 526th post, I'm nearing 20K visitors (thanks Mom!!) and my goal for the next year is to write as well as many of you, to achieve even a small portion of your witty success. So, if y'all want to send gifts, I'm registered with Cash, and Amazon.com. Now, let's PAR-TAY!!

Better idea

Yesterday, Muzikdude discussed the world of childbirth, and the insane debate over natural v. drugged. For the record, I had a c-section (Twin A aka Shane was breech) and I plan to do it again. I don't care if you do it with heavy narcotics or have the baby in your bathtub naturally, because you are not me, just please don't criticize the "other" side. It's nobody's business except the mother and her doctor/midwife/doula. Anyway, back to my better idea. I would GLADLY go back to Monday, 3 June 2002, and do it all over again, naturally and without any pain medication if it meant I could be heavily sedated for the toddler years. Wouldn't that be nice? No more migraines from tantruming preschoolers, no more sore throats from yelling "Don't kick your sister/brother/the dog/me!!", no more anxiety over lost naps and failed potty training. It's like a tattoo, one night of pain for years of beauty... I'd SO sign up for that. (I considered changing my "plan" to sedate the children rather than me, but I figured it wouldn't be as successful.) Now, where did I leave that bottle of Motrin??

CYA

There is a new disclaimer above my hate mail notice, simply because I have the feeling my words will one day bite me in the ass. Bite away at me, but since my husband is practically government property I'd rather him not pay for any babble-assing I do here. Just sayin'...

Um... Okaaaay.

This is the second day in a row I've received search hits for wanting to um, be with their mom. Uh... EWWWW! Where do these people come from? (Actually the latest one is from Virginia. Be ashamed, Centreville, Virginia!) Just remember, before you type in your deepest secrets for the Google Gods to solve, people have statcounters, and we know how to use them. Ew! I need to go wash my blog now!

Reports from the fly on the wall

Shane undressed Madison's Lala (barbie doll, don't ask me why they are called Lalas) and Madison brought her to me for re-dressing. While I dressed Lala in her pretty party gown, Madison pipes in with "Lala has hipples (nipples) like us!! And armpits like us, too!!" We've been working on body parts, letting the kids bathe themselves with instruction, and the two parts they really know are nipples and pits. Greeeaaaaat. Something tells me this will bite me in the ass one day.

You like me! You really like me!!

At least SOME people still love me, and I'm getting some linky love from somewhere because I'm finally back to Marauding Marsupial. I hate being a Rodent, and my pouch really does cover up that troublesome belly area!

An interesting sidenote, quite a few of the links Google reports for my site are right wing conservative sites. These are sites I've never been to or commented on, but I receive referred visitors from them all the time. I can't find my site linked on theirs, and I think I've made it fairly obvious which side of the fence I sit on. (Of course, there are plenty of intelligent conservatives I consider blogfriends, I'm not damning the group as a whole! Yes, YOU are one of them!) Any ideas how I get the links? Am I a target to the right wing bloggers? Surely I haven't even registered a blip on their radar... have I?

Dark Sided!!!

I just thought I'd use that title because y'all are sort of causing me to have a little breakdown of my own. Hi, I'm Crystal, and I'm neurotic. You don't comment, and I start worrying. I start babbling uncontrollably here, hoping something, ANYTHING will spark enough interest to get some comments. When the verbal diarrhea runs out, I then start pestering my husband, wanting to know why, WHY does the internet hate me all of a sudden?? Am I no longer good enough, has the blogosphere broken up with me and I didn't know it? I knew I should have had that Altoid, and would it kill me to put on some lipstick? I really need to do my hair, no one wants to read a blog with bad hair, and I cringe to even think about my manicure! Then N starts thinking maybe he married a completely insane woman, and should have me committed, or at least heavily medicated. We're still newlyweds, people! Our first wedding anniversary is next month, and y'all are gonna have him thinking I'm crazy! How will you feel if you come by one day and see a post from N telling you he's put me in a nice padded room? It'll be ALL YOUR FAULT, you know! All because you couldn't take the time to comment! Do the right thing, here... I'm counting on you!

**Editor's note: I may have exaggerated the above details just a teensy bit, but believe me, the neurosis is real.

Logic-less

Your IQ Is 125

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Um... I'm logically stupid? Funny thing is this quiz is pretty close to my actual IQ. Maybe I really don't have much logical sense.
Come on... find out how smart you are! ;)

Spoiled? No way!!

Loki has staked her claim as Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Pooches. Here she is on her "throne" of dirty BDUs.


And to my complete humiliation, I had to go to Target, 20 miles away, because the dog needed a sweater. She shakes like a crackhead, and with the snow yesterday we figured we'd have to do something to keep her warm. Just like you can only act like a complete fool in Wal*mart without getting dirty looks, you can only find doggie apparel at Target. Designer (Isaac Mizrahi) apparel no less. I refused to be THAT yuppie, if I'm not wearing designer tags, my dog sure as hell isn't going to get them. None the less, I lurked to the doggie clothing section, praying for the floor to swallow me whole, and picked out the cheapest cold weather apparel they had. Do you know what I had to spend on this damn sweater? $12.99!! This is ME, who shops at thrift stores, and cringes at the thought of paying retail. To top it off, the sweater is too small, and needs to be exchanged. See for yourself.

Always a bridesmaid...

I'm #2 in this search. Go figure, a daddy blogger is #1. **Sigh**

WAKE UP!!

Y'all don't really think you can just traipse through here and not say hello, do you?? I don't care if you are commenting just to tell me I'm a babbling idiot, at least say something!! If you don't, I'm forced to obsessively check my stats to make sure people are still coming here, and wondering what I've done to make everyone hate me. Waahhhhh.... do I smell or something?

Name v.3.0

The dog's name has been changed again. "Precious" is too cutesy for my taste. I think we've settled on Loki, this one should stick. This is why parents start thinking of baby names early in pregnancy, the hospital would have a fit if we had to come up with names on the spot and kept changing them. Shane was always Shane Jacob, but Madison was originally going to be Brooklyn Nicole. At 7 months pregnant, I decided I didn;t want to use Brooklyn because I disliked the name "Brook", and people would probably call her Brook. She became Madison Elizabeth, or if you ask her "Princess Madison Withabev".

Back Asswards

I just read the latest Army Times, and the weekly magazine always reaffirms my belief that the Army is more than a little screwed up. The latest "issue" is recruiting, because for all of the recruiting shortages this summer, the goals were met for October. Still, the one thing the Army DIDN''T do then was target prior service recruits. They've finally decided to do that, now offering huge bonuses and retained rank to fomer soldiers. N would have fallen into this category!! We didn't receive any bonus, and he gave up one rank when coming back in, a $300/month pay cut. So, in addition to fighting tooth and nail to get back in, getting no re-enlistment bonus while new recruits were getting record amounts of money, and not getting choice of duty station (another common "perk" for soldiers re-enlisting, our "choices" were Alaska, Korea*, or Kansas) we've lost approximately $1800 to date (N's RE-promotion should happen next month). Sometimes I really want to throttle everyone in the Dept. of the Army.

*Korea is a hardship tour, the kids and I cannot accompany. N already served there for 1 year, it wasn't tops on our list.

Gourmet

This evening I prepared some sauteed pork and tofu, served with rice, carrots, and green beans. We ate (frozen) cheese ravioli for dinner. So, who did I make the other meal for? The freaking dog!! There is homemade dog food sitting in my refrigerator. Oh, and I'll tell you about my trip to Target later. I need a drink, I'm becoming one of "those" people!!

God Warrior Bobblehead!!

A nod to mdmhvonpa for this link. Ebay auction, currently at $350 at 12:30pm CST. Talking bobblehead doll of the now-infamous Trading Spouses breakdown. Turn of your speakers (NSFW) for a remix of the God Warrior. This shit is priceless. Anyone got a ringtone yet??

This is not a test

There is snow on the ground. This is not a test, we have confirmed snow on the ground. I'm NOT prepared for this!!

Just my honest opinion

I'm getting sick and tired of hearing about prisoner abuse by US soldiers. Everyone is all "OMG!! They mistreat the detainees!!", but why?? Do you think American soldiers and civilians captured by extremists are treated well? Sure, if getting your head chopped off and your body burned is good treatment. These people show us NO sympathy, Americans captured are tortured, murdered, and violated in every way. So what, if someone stripped the prisoners and laughed at them?? We didn't chop their heads off. So what if they were mentally and physically tormented? Do you think they wouldn't do the same, or worse to us?? This is war, people, whether the government calls it "war", or "winning the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people". (That is really how this situation is referred to currently) They are trying to kill as many Americans as possible, and we're trying to invite them for tea and krumpets. Fuck that. Fuck the "civil rights" because our constitution only guarantees those to AMERICAN CITIZENS, and the Geneva Conventions is a bunch of bullshit. If they (GOD FORBID) captured my husband, do you think they'd give him 3 squares and a comfy bed? NO! They'd torture him, try to get information from him, and then kill him. They don't follow Geneva Conventions, they don't have "rules of engagement" and they don't give two shits about Americans at all. They want YOU to die, they want me to die, they want to kill our babies, our elderly, our innocent citizens everywhere simply for being American. Fuck that... capture them, get information from them by any means, kick their asses from here to next week, and call it a day. That's just my opinion, of course, but I've lost all ability to sympathize with people who want nothing more than shedding of American blood.

Bring back TO

It's not a popular opinion, but I really want the Eagles to bring back Terrell Owens. The Eagles are my "home team", and I really like T.O., flaws and all. Who doesn't love seeing him do the "eagle", or whatever endzone hijinks he thinks up? Besides, we need him. Case in point, it is 4th quarter, 9 seconds left, and the Eagles are down by 1 because of an interception TD return. They are about to try a 60 yard field goal. Riiiiigghhhhhht. Just bring back T.O., ya idiots!!
P.S. Akers did NOT make the FG, the Eagles lose again.

Engrish

I stumbled upon this site, and have been laughing my ass off. Here is one of my favorites, notice the sign underneath it for the beauty salon. They can get "Cut, color, and perm" right, but they call their restaraunt "Poo".

Are you freaking joking??

I went to Yahoo!, and noticed these weird little things on my weather forcast. Not rain, but little.... SNOWFLAKES? I haven't seen snowflakes on a forecast in years, I'm so not ready for this!! It won't be cold enough tomorrow to stick, but apparently we will still get some snow. Holy crap. I grew up in the northeast, so snow is no big thing to me, but I've been acclimatized to warm weather in the last few years. **Sigh** Pass the cocoa, and add a little Bailey's if you don't mind.

"I AM A GOD WARRIOR!!!"

Nod to Yvonne for this link. Dark Sided (NSFW!!!)

Meet the newest addition **UPDATED**

We adopted her yesterday from a local shelter, she's a 4 year old Japanese Chin. We're struggling with names, her "original" name was Asia, but she doesn't respond to it so we felt comfortable changing it. We chose Keiko, but the kids are having trouble with it, calling her Tico after the squirrel from Dora the Explorer. So, N and I decided to put it to you, my wonderful readers, to help us name our dog. I'm leaning towards an Oriental name, but am open to all suggestions. What do you think??




She's been the perfect dog for us, very laid back and quiet, content to lay on the couch and watch the activity. She's a "toy" breed, I'm currently making her dog food because finding kibble small enough for her isn't exactly easy, and she's turned her nose up all all store-bought food. The best part about adopting an older dog is she is housebroken, gotta love that. Now if she only had a name!

UPDATE: I think we've decided on Precious, as she has a princess personality, but Princess is one of Madison's nicknames. Stay tuned to see if the name sticks.

Browser bashing

Actually, I'm not bashing any of the browsers, I just thought that was a cute title. Ben was discussing "optimizing" sites for FF, and how most of his readers were using IE like him. I decided to check, and found that I had one visitor using IE (that was Ben), one using Netscape, and one using Firefox. (Gimme a break, it's a slow day) My site is best viewed in FF, it looks kinda bizarre in IE. So, to my IE readers, sorry about that. Psst... you'll love Firefox if you give it a try, I'm just saying. Anyway, the split stats made me wonder... what browser do YOU use??

Safety notes

Note to self: Stay away from computer when really drunk. Failure to do so can result in ebarrassment. I considered taking down my drunk blogging post, but it was actually pretty funny. If you need me, I'll be recovering on my couch.

Thank you anehueserbusgch

This drybjjk blof is brought you byb the people who make bud light. Drunk bloggin is fun!! Exceot I can;t focus on the screeen. tghe Bud llitght people have some preytty col theme parks, I went on my firstr roller coasster at Bushe gardens. in Virgina. Anyway, we're ce.ebraying N's recovery woth a few beers. amd beer is good. Actualuly beer tastes like ass, but tbe effeccts are good. You shold totally try it someyime. Goodnite/

We're surviving

We are still alive and fairly well. N came through the surgery just fine, and has been a model patient here at home. There was no nerve damage, which is good. He was so cute after waking up from the sedation, all mumbly and incoherent. Anyway, I'll update soon, I promise. How are y'all doing?

Oral-maxillioWHAT?

N is going in this afternoon to get a wisdom tooth removed. This is after a long dance around the situation, not by him, but by the doctors. He had hif first ever cavity filled a couple weeks ago after going in because of pain from the wisdom tooth. They referred him to oral surgery for the extraction of the tooth because it's impacted. The idiots at Oral-Maxillofacial surgery decided the molar with the new filling might need a root canal instead of the wisdom tooth needing to come out. So, an appointment on Friday was to remove brand new filling, check root, and if it was NOT the cause of the problem they would refill cavity, sedate N, and remove the wisdom tooth. This is getting ridiculous. THEN, the oral surgeon had to go to ER, a child came in needing emergency surgery. So, N was sent home with the filling v.2, and and appointment for the 30th to have surgery. **Sigh** They told him to call on Monday if he was still in a great deal of pain, and they'd fit him in sooner. Sooner ended up being today at 12:15pm. That's great, he won't be suffering all month, but instead of being on quarters for the weekend for recooperation, he's gonna miss some work this week. Oh, and there is a good chance the surgery will cause some nerve damage, like a numb chin. Yay!! Either way, I told N I may audioblog his drunken ramblings after surgery if he isn't a good patient in recovery. I'm evil like that.

Salt in the proverbial wound

What is worse than losing your basketball game 112-2? Having the whole country find out about it. Ouch.

Slumber-less party

The kids are having their first "sleepover" tonight. It's actually a dual purpose night, because Yeida and her hubs wanted to go out, and we had already promised the kids they could have a sleepover this weekend. Yeida and Enrique stayed until bedtime, since they are headed to a "big kid" party, so really N and I got off easy. The kids are SO CUTE together, even though there are 3 girls and Shane. Shane is gonna grow up thinking he's a pimp daddy, surrounded by females. So, as I type this, we're doing the "Go. To. SLEEP!" thing that parents do. It's not unusual to catch our children acting up after lights out, but add two more tired pre-schoolers and it's self-inflicted insanity. It's definitely worth it though, the kids all love each other!! Now, let's pray N and I make it to morning!

Turn back time

This morning I was having a bit of trouble waking up. My loving husband woke me up, and I told him I wanted to sleep some more.

N: What time do you want me to set the alarm for??
C: 9:00
N: It's 9:30, baby...
C: Ok (zzzzzzzzz)

N: Baby, time to get up...
C:I don't want to
N: What time do you want me to set the alarm, then?
C: 9:30
N: It's 9:40. I'll be your alarm clock. Cryssy... time to get up, baby.
C: You're talking too much. Go away
N: I'm sorry
C: It's fine, just go away!!

Aren't you glad you don't have to wake me up every morning? Poor N deals with my combat sleeping, and non-morning personality. I finally got up when the kids got into bed with me, because their wake up calls usually involve little fingers up my nose, or pulling up my eyelids. I do love my husband for putting up with my ass.

Dateline: To Catch a Predator

We're watching Dateline, and it's about online predators. They've set up decoy chats, "young teens" (12, 13, & 14 year olds) who are chatting with older men looking to meet them. The men then showed up to a house expecting the teens to be alone and waiting for them. Sexually explicit chats with both girls and boys, and 19 men showed up to meet in 3 days. Well, most of them ran when they saw the reporter come from the shadows, but a few sat and talked to the reporter, admitted what they were trying to do, etc. So far, they've had a Sergeant in the US Army (who also wanted to engage in be@sti@lity with the child), an emergency room doctor, a Special Ed teacher, and A RABBI. The rabbi had exchanged such explicit photos and chatting that they could show only tiny bits on TV, and was meeting a "13" year old boy. I'm so appalled and enraged, I cannot believe such disgusting people are holding such honorable positions. Seriously, how in the FUCK does something like this go through someone's brain?? The most insane part is that charges are not filed immediately, even though there is record of the crimes. The employers were notified in some cases, and the military in the cases of soldiers and sailors. We, as parents, need to do something about these people. Check your child's message archive in Yahoo! messenger, monitor online activity, and talk to your kids. I remember being approached online when I was a young teen, men asking perverse questions and trying to initiate contact. These disgusting criminals will stop at nothing to harm our children.

Hey, look!! Something shiny!!

Texas is known for it's speedy death penalty. They'll fry your ass in a hot minute if you do the crime. However, one man managed to hide from the grim reaper, at least for the time being. How do you let a death row prisoner just waltz out of jail? Apparently, all you need is some khakis and a pair of sneakers, plus and ID badge from the AG's office. Someone is definitely getting fired for this one.

Boo!!

I discovered something interesting this week. Apparently, Fort Riley has a few resident ghosties! This all came up when Yeida was telling me about another friend's quarters, and how her friend thought they were haunted. Her friend, Jo, had heard loud knocking after she moved in, and thought it was the front door. No one was there, so she thought it might be her kids. They were out cold, but the knocking persisted. On another occasion she heard someone calling "Momma!!" repeatedly. She thought it might be her son, but he was sleeping peacefully. She finally asked the spirit to stop, explained that they would be living in the quarters for a couple years, and didn't mean any harm. The noises stopped, but the ghost then started toying with electronics. The radio would come on by itself, often turned all the way up. Yeida was witness to this one day, the radio turned on, blaring at top volume. So, I decided to see what kind of ghost history I could find, because there are rumors of strange occurances happening on main post (the oldest part of the base). Many posts have ghost stories, often they are just silly rumors, but apparently the stories here are widely believed. General George Armstrong Custer was stationed here (many areas and buildings are named after him, I live up on Custer Hill), and some of the last battles with Native Americans were staged on these grounds. There was a Cholera outbreak in the 1800s that left much of the post dead. Custer was at Leavenworth at the time, and was court martialed for leaving his post to come to Riley and check on his wife. So, there are reports of men playing polo on the Infantry Parade Field, which used to be a polo field.There are also reports of a man riding horseback on the Lower Parade field early in the morning. A man is seen dressed in old-style clothing on horseback in stable 1 of the horse stables. A nurse is seen on Main Post, though I'm unclear on the building in particular. A woman who died during the Cholera outbreak is often seen by the trolly station, near the area her house once stood. There are many accounts of unexplained sightings and noises across the post. Anyone want to go ghost hunting with me??

Um... ok

This was an ad on Yahoo!... am I the only one who is thinking this is more than a bit tacky?? Yahoo! has had some pretty tacky ads lately, like the "morning after" pill ad with the fake IMs saying "OMG the condom broke!!", but I think this one takes the cake.

Shut it, lady!!!!

Every once in a while I encounter a person who decides they don't approve of my parenting. I'm not perfect. Are you? If you are, please come teach me. Still, in my non-perfection, I do the best I can for my kids. I don't beat them, I don't neglect them, I don't let them run wild. See, this is a no-win situation. If someone sees a child running around like a maniac, hitting, screaming, being a little terror, they think "Why doesn't that parent control their child?!" Tongues cluck, heads shake, and a parent is judged. Situation B, a stranger sees a parent spank an unruly child, and the stranger assumes the child is abused. There is no outcome that prevents a parent from being judged in the face of a public tantrum. I come from the "old" thinking, I'm not going to ask little Timmy why he feels so frustrated that he must throw things and kick me. I think a child should behave properly, and having a heart to heart in the bread aisle isn't going to get that done. My children are well behaved by most standards, but are NOT angels, and have their tantrums. Sometimes it's one child at a time, sometimes it's both, you just never know. Today was Shane's day. My friend Yeida picked us up to do some shopping. Shane unbuckled his carseat on the highway, something he sometimes does, but is NOT acceptable. I threatened to have Yeida pull over, and when he felt the car decelerate he promptly put his belt back on. Still, he pushed every limit, tested every rule, and by the time we got to the store he was nearly unbearable. Still, the show must go on, I am not in my van, and Yeida and I had to pick up some things. We bought the kids some chips to keep them happy, and Yeida's daughter, and Maddie were both fine. Shane was less than well-behaved. After 20 minutes or so, we were ready to check out, and I had spent the previous 20 minutes reprimanding my unruly son. Finally, as I paid for my items, I lost it, and told him I was taking him to Daddy at work, and Daddy would have his ass for not listening to me. An empty threat of frustration, but the WRONG thing to do at that time was shake your head. The lady nearby shook her head, and looked me in the eye, as if saying "So pathetic". Shane continued to flail and cry, trying to climb out of the cart and throw himself down. I said "Shane JACOB! I have had it!! Why is it I've been yelling at you since we got here? Why won't you BEHAVE?!" Aforementioned lady says "Well that's why! You keep yelling!" Oh, I flipped out. I told the lady I would raise these twins however I damn well pleased. Did SHE give birth to them? Did I ask HER opinion on parenting? Don't think so, asshole!! Yeida and I walked out the door, and the cashier came out after me and thanked me for saying something to that woman. In the car Yeida told me she was silently praying for the woman to keep it to herself, because she knew I'd tear her to bits. Of course, she was right, because if there is one thing I hate it's self-rightous people. So, if you see that woman flipping out with her tantruming child? Maybe you should give her a knowing smile, or a helping hand, but for the love of Dr. Spock, don't criticize. Especially if you live in a state where concealed weapons are legal. I'm just sayin'...

Trip recap!

We left Thursday afternoon, after a rocky start. Getting out of the house on time was just not destined to happen. The drive there was fairly uneventful, the most interesting things between here and Oklahoma are the overbearing signs of Christianity. For example, there is an "Adult Superstore" on the side of the interstate. In front of it is a huge sign that says "Jesus saves and heals. Pornography destroys" Of course, I mentioned the billboard that had my blood boiling in an earlier post. So, Oklahoma was also fairly uneventful. Cheap gas in Sooner Country made us want to pack up and move there. We finally got to the great state of Texas, and by the time we reached Central TX it was near dawn. A (too) quick nap, and we were out the door. Lunch with my MIL, some time on Fort Hood, and some random errands. We stopped by the tattoo shop to say hello, and decided to come back in the evening for some work. The kids spent an evening filled with junk food and toys, and overall spoiling by Oma. Saturday was relaxing, more spoiling for the kids, more relaxing by mommy and daddy. Saturday night was trick-or-treating. I've never seen the kids so excited. "You mean they give us CANDY?!? Hell yeah!!!" The sugar high turned into a sugar coma, and all was well. Sunday was the day Jake had to be in San Antonio, so my in-laws drove him down there. Monday afternoon we left, unwillingly, and all was going fairly well untl we were about 16 miles from our exit. 3am, and I saw a car seemingly out of no where in my rearview. I asked N if it was a cop, and no sooner had he said "I hope not" than the lights flipped on. Shit, I knew I was speeding, I figured I was DONE FOR. The cop told me I was speeding in a work zone (the work zone had ended about 2 miles back) but let me off with a warning. Holy crap, I owe some good karma or something. We got home, got the kids upstairs, and got ourselves into bed by 4am. Poor N had to be at PT at 6:20, he got to sleep a bit on the ride home, but was totally miserable when the alarm went off. So, that sums up my weekend... how was yours?

Update

With all the travel and excitement, I almost forgot to update on Emily and the lumps in her breasts. They turned out to be harmless, we're all very grateful for that small blessing. Thank you for your concern and prayers, Emily and the rest of our family really appreciate it.

Main Break

Would you like to take a shower? Yeah, me too... except the freaking construction idiots hit our water main, and we have NO WATER. We didn't find this out until we went to give the kids a bath, so they got a babywipe bath. Ugh, this is gonna be a long night. I really need a shower, and was planning on cleaning my floors, so you can imagine how excited I am. Pass the perfume.

Home, sweet home

We're home. I did NOT want to come home, everyone had such a wonderful time at my in-laws. We miss Jake a lot, Shane cried for him the first night he was gone. I'll have a full update later, after the kids are in bed and the house is back together. I caught up with all of your blogs, so if I didn't comment it was just because I was short on time and energy. For now, I'll leave you with some pictures.

Edited: The pics will have to wait, I need to crunch them. Check back in a bit!