Lessons learned

I've been learning a couple of valuable life lessons lately. There are very few people in this world who you can trust, and all too often people that you think are your friends are really out to stab you in the back. This is especially true in today's military life, it's one of the darker sides to our unique world.

Nate and I grew up in small towns, where everyone knew you, and your family, and had for generations. Most of my life was spent with the same friends I had gone to pre-school with, people that I had known since I was in diapers, whose parents had gone to school with my mom and uncle, etc. Back home, there were always people you could trust, you could depend on them, and we would all give the shirts off our backs for one another. We are still like that, but when you're military, and you move around a lot, you have to learn to make friends quickly, or stay to yourself. Of course, after I got stabbed in the back by a few military wives I had made "friends" with at Ft. Hood, I made up my mind to not get too close to anyone, because apparently I have SUCKER tattooed on my forehead. Hey, I'm not perfect, but I try to be a good friend, and not to hurt anyone, but it seems to mean drama will find me. Regardless, being social creatures, we made some friends here, and I broke my own rule of not allowing anyone to get to close to us.

It's usually pretty easy for the guys to create tight bonds, especially if they have been deployed together. The wives usually end up friends by proxy, because you always need someone to help you stay sane when your spouse is gone. Secrets are shared, recipes traded, favors exchanged and so on. Unfortunately, there always seems to come a point where things go wrong, usually because of the other stress thrust onto us, one too many deployments, a few too much time in the field, etc. Sometimes it's a divorce, sometimes it's a falling out between spouses, sometimes some bad blood between the soldiers, but whatever the reason the former friends are now sworn enemies. It's never as simple as "You leave me alone, I'll leave you alone, done." because the soldiers still have to work as a unit, there are mandatory events to attend, and so on.

Ultimately, it's the one thing I hate most about the military life. We actually thrive on being a military family, not everyone can, but we enjoy it. It is challenging at times, but can be greatly rewarding, yet when it gets ugly, it is really ugly. The good news is you can always move onto the next post, and work with a clean slate. Now, how much longer until we can leave this place?