Early death wish Wake-up call

I'm not a morning person, and even y'all know that! Anyway, this morning my phone rings... it goes *something* like this...

**cue Gold Digger, my default ringtone telling me it's not someone I have saved in my phone, ID says caller "Unknown"**
Me: Hello? (silently wishing death on person calling)
Caller: Hey
Me: (recognizing voice of friend, calling from office phone) Um, what's up??
Caller: Are you making breakfast?
Me: Uh... no, I'm laying in bed
Caller: N said you'd be making breakfast, so I can come over and eat.
Me: Hahahaha... Oh, you're serious? No really, have we met? I don't get up until 9.
Caller: Where's N?
Me: (fully opening eyes) Not in bed... hang on, I'll find him.
Caller: So you're not making breakfast? N said you would be.
Me: No, I don't eat breakfast, unless he meant it as a euphemism for morning sex, and I'm too mean in the morning to do that either. Oh shit, N is making breakfast... WTF?!
Caller: What's he making?
Me: Eggs, and biscuits, are you really coming over to eat? (should note that friend lives about 25 minutes away, and wouldn't be able to go home to eat after PT)
Caller: Yeah, I'll be over in a few... let me talk to N.

Hand phone to N, with patented death glare.

Now, when he showed up I was all "Hi, have we met?? I'm Crystal, and I'm NOT a morning person. You're lucky I like you!!" (Sidenote: He and N are like brothers separated at birth, if I didn't know better I'd SWEAR they were related, so he can get away with more than most people.)
At this point he informs me I'm supposed to be up at 7:30am making breakfast, so he can eat at 7:45. After I stop laughing hysterically, catch my breath, and finish my cigarette I explain to him that he's more than welcome to eat at my house anytime, but I don't do mornings, and if he wants MY cooking he'd best bring his ass to dinner. Dinner I can do, and do well, but waking me up requires safety gear and bribes.

Making breakfast at 7:30... hahahahahahaha.... that shit never gets old. Had it been almost anyone else they would have become breakfast rather than eaten here. You want me to get up and cook in the morning, you'd better offer something more than just gracing me with your presence... Starbucks is a good start.