Anyone know where I can get a body double??

I'm sitting here muttering explicatives because I've managed to double-book appointments today at 2, and had to call and cancel one. The one that got the ax was a surgery consult for a lump in my breast (Oooohhh, FUN!! Cancer scares at 23 are the BEST!!!), which is NOT something you really want to stress about for another MONTH, but my other appointment was very difficult to get, and I can't afford to miss that. When I called the surgery clinic to explain and cancel, the guy said "Well, what's the other appointment for, if you don't mind my asking?" in a grumpy tone. I told him, and explained that it took me 2 months to GET that appointment, and I HAVE to keep it. Fine, he cancels, I hang up, and immediately call the central appointment line (this is how military healthcare works) where I'm on hold listening to "Bumblebees" or some other equally annoying classical music, until I can reschedule. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Then, I decide to look in my phone, and realize I have not only those appointments today, but FIVE appointments next week, including shots, and checkups for the kids (Why no, they COULDN'T consolidate those appointments, I'll be spending all afternoon running from clinic to clinic in the hospital!!), plus an appointment for myself all in one day. FUCKKKKKKK!!!!!!! I need a body double, but I'll settle for a few DoubleShots from Starbucks. Now, excuse me while I go mutter more cuss words on my way to the doctor's office. It's no wonder I'm a basketcase!