And the award for Miss Obnoxious 2005 goes to...

Her. This one finally pushed me over the edge. She posted about her neighbors who share the duplex she lives in. Apparently they are slobs, currently child-less slobs, but slobs no less. Here are my favorite quotes from the original post.

"... While they aren't anything like our typical friends, and no one else in the neighborhood cares for them, we like them. But why oh why can't my cleanliness rub off on them, or at least her???"
(She goes on to describe how disgusting the house is, and how it's from "pure laziness".)

"I've gone up to both of them on their days off, and offered to help them clean and have even told them I'd clean their entire downstairs for $100 (which is great considering the condition of the house). But Noooooooo! they like their dirty mess, I guess."

"...I've even told her I don't like going in her house because it's so dirty."

"I know I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but it's not just me who complains to them. They know all of the neighbors prefer not to go in their house because it's so unsanitary."

"I guess I've offered all I can, and all I can do is sit back and hope they need my help at some point? :) But honestly, how does ANYONE live like that??? YUK!!!!"

OK, first of all, this is not the 1st (or 10th) time we've heard about her wonderfully perfect and clean house. We get it, you're PERFECT! Second, this comes a couple days after she posted it has been 1 year since she found out her husband had a hooker overseas. So can we all say "Overcompensate much?" She repeatedly mentions in the responses she is not going to report them to CPS (neighbor *may* be pregnant), or post command (military housing has strict cleanliness standards) because she is SUCH a good friend, but she thinks they are lazy for not cleaning up. Um, I know I talk shit about all my good friends behind their backs, don't you? Someone mentions her mother had low self esteem, and could only feel better about herself by criticizing others, but this point went over Miss Obnoxious' head. So let's recap...

Miss Obnoxious 2005 is a better housekeeper than you, buys expensive things all the time, has a credit score near 800, her baby deserves to win awards for cuteness, her marriage is perfect, her president is right, her religion should rule our country, and anyone who doesn't think so should be treated as second class. (But honestly, we're ALL second class compared to HER!) She promises to tell you these points constantly, but continue to beg for your sympathy because her hubby strayed. Personally, I can't blame her hubby, her perfection must be too much to handle.

Landslide victory if you ask me!

** Disclaimer: If you are reading this thinking I must be the biggest bitch ever, you're right, but that's irrelevant. This woman would grate the nerves of any normal person, but the board we belong to is too well regulated for me to tell her so there. If you disapprove of my snarkiness please feel free to send me hatemail... I'll gladly make fun of that too. Cjaping at yahoo dot com. :)