Next up... family affairs

My wonderful blog friend Tish has been giving us a tour of the nutty branch on her family tree. Come on, admit it... we all have a branch (or 10) that makes you wonder how much lead paint their mothers were exposed to. If you can't figure out which family member that is, be careful, you are probably the nut! My family? They aren't so much crazy as tempermental. We're the ones who embarass everyone, because we're loud, and we all lack that censor in our brain that keeps us from blurting out tacky things. I've fallen victim to the missing gene, I shouldn't be around anyone easily offended. So, let's pick one member of my family to discuss. I'll go with my step-grandfather, so no current family members will be offended if they get ahold of this. You see, he was my Grandmom's second husband, and the only grandfather I knew on that side. He is boisterous, likes to drink, and is a wealthy buisnessman, so this can lead to embarassing situations. One time, when I was a pre-teen, my parents, a couple of their friends, and I drove up to Cape Cod to visit him. Upon our arrival, he took us all out to a nice seafood restaurant on the Cape, where he had a reservation for 15. Well, they screwed it up, so we waited for about 30 minutes while they arranged some tables together for us, and my grandfather passed the time with some Miller Lites. By the time we get seated, he's had a bit much to drink, and decides he's mad. He refuses to order himself food, but tells me (an 11 year old) to order a 3 lb lobster. (After all, he *is* the man who taught me how to eat those yummy beasts!) So he's picking at my lobster, and eating half of his wife's dinner (but he wasn't hungry at all!), all the while wearing sunglasses inside at night, and saying "Thes ish bullshet. BULLSHET!" People are looking at us like we're insane, the poor waitress looked like she might quit on the spot, his wife is rolling her eyes and shushing him, my parents and their friends are hysterical, and me? I'm enjoying my lobster with Grandpop Lew, oblivious to it all! What did I care, I was his princess, dammit!