Basic Training

Let me start this by saying we're settled in, life has calmed down, and I'm very happy to be reporting that!! Now, onto the funny.

Nate was shining his boots last night, and shaping his beret, and other fun stuff that comes with finally getting his uniforms issued. He was going through all the standard issue stuff, showing me a couple things that have changed since his last enlistment, like brown Under Armour shirts and better boots and the such. Of course, they Army still issues brown BVDs to soldiers, the standard drawers of the BDU. He held them up and said "Brown tighty whiteys... these will never get worn." I said "No one wears them, except in Basic... why does the Army even bother?!" which conjured up a story about his basic training experience. He casually mentions he never wore them, even then. As a matter of fact, his exact phrase was "Every time they checked, my balls were hanging out." You KNOW I had to have him elaborate on this one. You see, my husband has been known to go "commando". Actually, until a few months ago he still did, he finally started wearing boxers. I assumed he would have taken heed of the regulations in Basic, where you wear what you are issued no matter what. Of course, I should have known better. Nate didn't wear underwear before Basic, and he wasn't about to start just because some drill sergeant said so. Well, they check. As in underwear inspections. I've asked him repeatedly if he's making that up, and he swears it's true. Anyway, when one of these inspections would arise, they would be told to line up in formation and drop their pants. Every time, it would be this... (The following tale is my re-telling of a 8 year old conversation. Bear (bare?!) with me!!)

"A****! Where are your underwear?!"
"In my wall locker, Drill Sgt."
"Why are they not on your person?! Next time you will be wearing underwear!"
"Yes, sir."

Fast forward to the next inspection:
"A****!! I thought I told you to wear underwear! What is your aversion to underwear?!"
"Sorry, Drill Sgt. I promise I'll wear them from now on."

Next inspection:
"DAMMIT A****! I thought I told you to wear underwear!! Where are your underwear?!"
"Sorry Drill Sgt. I forgot. Next time, I promise."
"Dammit, A****! start wearing underwear!"

And later...
A female decided to hold inspection.
Female: "All right, line up in formation..."
Drill Sgt: (interrupting) "WAIT!!!! STOP!!! Stop! A****?!"
Nate: "Yes, sir?"
DS: "A****, are you wearing underwear?"
Nate: "No, sir."
DS: "Why not, A****?! Dammit, A****! What is the problem with underwear? Why will you not wear them?!"
Nate: "Don't like them, sir."
DS: "That's it... you will wear underwear!!"
So, given the choice between punishment and underwear what did Nate choose? Come on, have you been paying attention here?

He says it's the one thing that got him in trouble every time. He did many a push-up for his dislike of briefs. The Army should so put that on their site in the stories from Basic section. It might make those 9 weeks more bearable.