Late fees?? We don't need no stinking late fees!

Dear Company-I-Dislike-Very-Much,

I'm so glad to be done with you, the magnitude of your asshat-ness is simply amazing. That being said, I'm trying to pay my final bill to you so I can destroy all of the papers in the "You" file. It's due today, and I received it yesterday, because you failed to process my change of address. When I call you to pay I get disconnected. It happened 6 times over the last 24 hours. When I finally got through to a rep this afternoon, she disconnected me again. I'm not going to continue to waste my valuable cell minutes to listen to your recording trying to sell me something. I'll mail the payment in the morning, and I'll be damned if I'm paying any late fees. I should charge you late fees, but of course it doesn't work that way. Please accept my payment, and shove the check squarely up your ass.

Thank you,
Crystal A.

**editor's note: Cori asked which company it is, since I have a lengthy list of companies I hate. It's Nextel. She's right, there are a few companies on my shit list, but rightfully so. Poor customer service is one of my biggest pet peeves, and it seems to be a trend for WAY too many big companies. One that I've had for years, and am very happy with is Directv. See?? I don't hate *everybody*!!