It wouldn't be as funny if it wasn't true

This was sent to me today by my friend Amy, and I about fell out of my seat laughing.

Dear Kotex,


I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of
"Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:


* Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.

* Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.

* Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.

* Try Kotex blah blah blah other products


Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a
functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that
drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See what
happens and report back. I'll wait.


While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate
from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will
be females who just ovulated. Look, females don't need or want tips for
living on feminine hygiene products. Veteran females have already concocted
their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol.

Printing out advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already
purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and enough to send a
girl running to the Always brand.


Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's not fun,
but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery
cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put it in a plain brown
wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in
among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a
blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the
store. So take your tips for living and shove them right up your . . .


Ovarily Yours,

Miss PMS