A record low

It's official, I've hit a total record low. Lovely, entertaining thoughts of throwing myself off the dam. Now, before you (in the off chance someone stumbles upon this) go emailing me the suicide hotline number, I'm not actually going to do it, it's just a nice thought at this point. It seems that everything deserves more attention than I do. NCAA 2008 DEFINITELY gets more attention, I have to listen to how the computer-generated recruits respond to his recruiting, as in "Watch how this makes him smile!!" as he offers them a guaranteed championship. I get to listen to him ask the cat how he's doing, and offer snuggles to him, while he tells me he'll come to bed as soon as his week 1 of the game is over. It's 0120, he just got into bed to watch sportscenter, which DEFINITELY gets more attention than I do (I certainly don't get his undivided attention multiple times a day, and it's not me he wakes up to and falls asleep to), but I can't tell you the last time he stayed up until 0100 on a work night to just hang with me. I don't understand why he doesn't just kick me out, it would hurt less. I'm jealous of a cat, an Xbox game, and a TV show, because I don't even get a percentage of the attention he gives those things. I'm so fucking lonely, and so miserable, I just want to spend a year in bed, because my dreams are way more interesting than my miserable fucking life.