Confessions

Jenn came clean with the world on her blog, and did a great service to the moms out there struggling with addiction. She posted this about an article on the "rise" of meth use among moms, and I think she is hit the nail on the head. Now it's my turn. I am a recovered addict. A mommy who ended up addicted to drugs in order to take on the world. I didn't do the NA/AA meetings like Jenn, I quit cold trukey, but I've relapsed once. And I battled again, hopefully I've won for good. That relapse almost cost me my children because it came in the midst of my divorce, with a medication prescribed to control my anxiety disorder. This happens every day around us, even though we think it could never happen to us, or our neighbors, friends, or family. I am not pointing the finger at society for my battle with addiction, I know all too well that I made that choice, took that rocky path. However, I do recognize the pressure of society to "do it all" when you are a parent. To cram 36 hours of activity into 24 hours a day, to function on little to no sleep, and still be Supermom at all costs. Will people judge me when the find out I've battled addiction? Of course, because in our minds addicts are only homeless bums who would rather get high than work. But as Jenn has said, this demon knows no social status. It's the young mother trying to stay afloat and raise her children, it's the soccer mom with a PDA full of PTA meetings, Scouts, playdates, and school functions. It's the wealthy socialite with lunch dates and charity functions. It could be your next door neighbor, one of the people in your car pool, your boss. It could be you. For Desperate Housewives fans, I know more than a few moms who could relate to Lynnette, frazzled, over-worked, out of control, and trying to get it all done. As I watched her addiction to Ritalin unfold, I told a close friend how I wish we could have the benefits of endless energy, without the pain of addiction to pills. She has 3 children of her own, and she agreed, it would be so great to be able to get it all done effortlessly. The most honest thing the writers of the show put in there was Lynette asking her friends why no one talks about the feelings of failure, though we all face them at some point. It would be so much easier if we supported each other, instead of telling every other parent out there how they are fucking it up. I'm sure you read about the Mommy Drive-bys at Chez Miscarriage. Well, they happen, every day, and it needs to stop. This job isn't easy, and no one knows all the answers. And when one of us falls down, we need to pick them up, help them brush off, and get through it.