Just to prove my mind has officially left the building

Ok, I go to check my gmail acct, and notice that it seems Military.com all of a sudden decided to send me the last 3 weeks worth of newsletters, WTF is up with that?? So, I delete them, still confused by the occurance, and then realize I've apparently emailed myself. It wasn't until AFTER I deleted the email from myself that I realized my husband had never logged out, and I was looking at his inbox. Um, wow... it only took me 2 minutes to figure that out, I might still be in the running for "Idiot of the Week".

I'm still alive and not ignoring you!

The total lack in comments lately is probably because I haven't been visiting your sites, and have been pretty MIA lately. I am SO behind on my Bloglines feeds that I am afraid to even look, but don't worry, I'll have plenty of time to catch up this weekend. In the meantime, I've been swamped with real life, my ex husband is coming to visit the kids (thus the extra time this weekend, I'll have no mini-tyrants running around!) and I've got a stack of paperwork as tall as I am for my little fender bender last week. Gotta love insurance!! So, I promise, I'll come see all of you, really I do still heart everyone!! In the meantime, some interesting things of my day... I found an Iraqi 10,000 dinar with Saddam on it in one of my old notebooks, (no I won't tell you where I got it), in mint condition. I'm sure it's something collectors might be interested in, but to me it's just this bizarre and interesting piece of paper that I'd forgotten I had. I used to have monies from all over the world, because my grandfather worked overseas and would collect such things for me, and I have no idea what ever happened to them, guess a call to mom is in order. A discussion on geneology on another site prompted me to renew (or rather upgrade to an adult membership) my registration in the Mayflower Society, and to start the papers for my children to be registered, which is just more paperwork "fun". I seem to enjoy making my life complicated, but I figure I owe it to my children and the rest of my family who did the research on our lineage to keep up with it. I know Ammie is interested in such things, I'm sure some of you have also looked deep into your family tree. Any interesting ties out there? Spring cleaning has begun, and I keep stubmling across the strangest things, things I had either forgotten about, or never realized I had, which is surprising since we've moved so much recently. Speaking of moving, N and I are discussing his career options, schools, assignments, just general direction of the next couple years to further his Army career. Throwing a nice little bit of spice to that is the brand new regs on tattoos, allowing tattoos on hands and necks (previously not allowed, although exceptions were sometimes made like N's wedding ring being tattooed on) and now he wants to get his hands worked on. It's hard because it's a passion of his, but it doesn't always appeal, the tattoos he has now have caused him to meet poor reactions in professional situations, any more visible tattoos can make or break a promotion or job offer, even the article in Army Times discussed the cons of it for NCOs. Ahhhh, the world of body mod... will it ever be fully accepted? Probably not, and that's ok, we like standing out. Speaking of which, I keep asking N how long it's going to feel as if I have a fish hook in my face, he's never had a lip piercing, and Jake had one get infected, so meanwhile I'm seriously wondering how insane I am to subject myself to such pain. Note to self, facial piercings do not heal easily. I don't remember having this much trouble with my tongue, but then again it was right around my 21st, and I spent a lot of time intoxicated. This post has been brought to you by my completely scattered mind (I'm seriously more out of it than usual this month, and cannot wait for March... this has been the month from HELL), once again proving you really are taking a peek into my insanity. I'm off to catch up on some email... anyone have suggestions for "Idiot of the Week" yet??

One Smack Only

I submitted myself over at IT2M to get smacked, and found the review up today. Ok, so it was bad, only one smack... I'm bummed, but hoping to get resmacked with some changes to the site. Of course, you don't get to pick your reviewer, and I got the one I would least like to choose if given the chance, but hey, no use crying over it, right?? Anyway, thanks to the Bitches for the traffic, although I have to say I AM pissed no one had anything to say for Randy and the other fallen soldiers I had devoted the previous post to. I'm probably just a little sensitive about that because it should have been Nate. There's a long and personal story behind that, but Nate wasn't supposed to be out of the Army at that time, Randy was his "replacement", and my husband is alive today because only because another man is not. Pay a little fucking respect to those men and women, they aren't just names on a list.

For Randy *UPDATED*

We just had to look up the exact information on the death of one of Nate's friends and former soldier, so we could have a memorial bracelet made. I never had the pleasure of meeting this young man, but he was my age when he died, just barely an adult, but fully a hero. Nate had the pleasure of serving with, training, and pinning Randy to Sergeant, Randy actually took over Nate's position in their squad when N left.

This post is for SSG* Randy Rosenberg, of Berlin, NH, who is survived by his young widow Misty, and so many friends and family who love him dearly.

KIA 2004Jan24 Khalidiyah, Iraq by a Vehicle-based IED. SSG Rosenberg was assigned to B co 1/9 Cav, Fort Hood,TX

*promoted to Staff Sergeant post-humously for his honorable service and ultimate sacrifice.

This isn't the only person Nate or I know who lost their lives in Iraq, and I'm sure most of you know at least one as well, so remember each and every one of the 2273 2276 soldiers who have died to date.
They haven't been forgotten.

Idiot of the Week 2/13-2/19 Part 2

Tax breaks up to $25,000.00 for people who buy gas guzzling SUVs like the Hummer and the Excursion. No, that wasn't a typo, the $3,100 tax rebates for people doing the responsible thing and buying Hybrids are a mere drop in the bucket considering the $$$ AND "prestige" of driving the Big Boys. The shared Idiot of the Week award goes to the Republicans who thought up that idea. I may be biased, but I think this actually TRUMPS my self-piercing, making me runner-up. Let's take a vote!!

Lips part 2 AND Idiot of the Week 2/13-2/19!!!!

I went and had the other side of my lip done last night, by a PROFESSIONAL, and it is coming along much better. So, in light of my incredible stupidity in insisting N pierce me himself, I am awarding Idiot of the Week to myself!! I may add a bonus IOTW if I come across anything INCREDIBLY stupid, but for now, I take the cake. I'll post pictures as the swelling from the home iercing subsides.

Patience is a virtue, Stupidity is a curse

Patience is not something I have a lot of. I had decided this week to finally get my lip pierced. Normally this wouldn't present a problem, except there are about 6 places in a 40 mile radius, and they all open and close at stupid hour. (Monday and Tuesday noon-8, Thursday -Sunday noon -8 kind of thing)
We'll Nate and I have had our share of time in body mod studios. We've seen this done, it did a little research, and decided we could to it ourselves. I wanted to go get a piercing gun from Walmart, but N didn't feel comfortable doing it that way, so a thick needle won out. Can I just say OWWWWWW??????
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
We had trouble getting the hoop in, and finally gave up op the capture bead and just closed off the hoop instead. Did I mention ow?? Yeah.... so N feels really bad, but I practically begged him to do it, so I'm really no mad. Just sore. Send popsicles.




Christine asked for it... blame her if you are grossed out!!!

Update: Shortly after taking this picture, something told me it was not a good idea to keep it in, so I took it out, and will let the professionals handle it next time. The only shitty pat=rt if having so few parlors in this area!!

Idiot of the Week for 2/6-2/12

I almost forgot, y'll need to remind me and send me stories!!! Since I'm late on this one, I'm awarding our esteemed Vice President as Idiot of the Week, for shooting one of his buddies on a quail hunting trip. Quail are smallish birds, right? How do you mistake a small bird for GROWN MAN, that you know is with your party?? DUH!! Maybe he needs his eyes checked. At least there was a medical team there, since they are part of Dick's entourage in case his heart gives out again.

Tagged, part 1 ***Repost for Phil***

Major Dad tagged me with this meme (and Phil tagged me again!!), and I have nothing to talk about, so I cheerfully abliged. BTW, go check out Phil's site. He's a soldier, and although he and I don't agree on too much, he has a very interesting site about life on the "inside".

Four jobs I've held in my life: Deli clerk, bartender, sales rep, and customer service in a call center.

Four movies I could watch over and over: As Good As it Gets, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Lady and the Tramp (yes! the Disney version!!), um... that's it. I'm not a big movie buff.

Four places I've lived: Tabernacle, NJ; West Palm Beach, FL; Fort Hood/Killeen, TX; Fort Riley, KS

Four TV shows I love to watch: Roseanne (reruns on Nick at Nite!), Desperate Housewives, Over There, Wheel Of Fortune (I kick total ass at that game!)

Four websites I visit daily: Gmail.com, Bloglines.com, my online banking, Yahoo.com

Four of my favorite foods: Pizza, crispy chicken salad, manicotti, brownies

Four places I'd rather be: Texas, New Jersey, the Florida Keys, hanging out with Cori

Four albums I can't live without: What the hell are albums? (KIDDING!! Don't throw things at me!) Under the Table and Dreaming~ Dave Matthews Band, Before These Crowded Streets~ DMB, Live at Red Rocks~ DMB, Crash~ DMB (Can you tell I'm a huge fan?!)

So, I tag you. Yes, *you*! Leave me a comment if you play along.

Ewwww

Once again, the search results amaze me. I had not 1 or 2, but 10 different hits for $e*ual relations with one's mom, or admiration of one's mother's a$$. EWWWWWWWW. What the FU{K is wrong with people?!?!?!

A lag

You'll probably see a lag in postings for a little while. One of my best friends is getting a divorce, and moving back "home", so my days are spent dealing with insurance from my accident, and crying my eyes out. If you come here looking for happiness and sunshine this week, you might as well keep on moving. I promise I'll be back in the near future, so in the meantime, check out some of my commentors' blogs, and stuff on my blogroll. Oh, and send me idiot of the week submissions, I could use a good laugh.

Another do-over

Today, while dropping off donations for the Disabled Veterans thrift store, I backed into someone. It's my first accident, she wasn't in her vehicle, so luckily she wasn't hurt. My van has just a bit of surface damage to the rear right quarter panel, but her car's whole left taillight housing was ripped out. I almost cried, she was sweet about it, but I've never been so embarassed.So, we'll be dealing with the insurance company this week! Yay!! Also, we got newe id cards, and the lady who worked there was SO evil, I ended up complaining to the manager, and demanding an apology. She was called in to apologize, and her apology consisted of looking away from me, and saying "Im sorry, but.... blah blah blah". I told her I'd appreciate an apology without the "buts": we have a thing in our house that apologies don't come with "buts". She begrudgingly apologized, and I took what I could get. The supervisor told me he wants to fire her, but being a goverment employee it's nearly impossible, so I guess this isn't the fisrt incident. I'm goign to apply for a G pay job, those people make decent money, and I can do a MUCH better job than many of them. Asshats!!!

Then, I cancelled my Children's Place card, and had N cancel one of his higher interest cards. Hr spent 73 miinutes on hold, he was *going* to keep the care if they would match our rates from other cards, but after over and hour on hold, there was basically notihng they they could use to retain him. Oh, well, their loss!!

We cut Shane's hair back into a mohawk, per his request, and he looks SO cute!! All in all, it's not been a fun day, and I'm ready to go hide for the rest of the week,

The winner for "Idiot of the Week"

And the winner is....
Mr. Pot Dealer!!!

If you didn't catch the story, and 18 year old called the police in Utah because someone broke into his house and stole the pot he had intended to sell. The robber had broken a window and cut his arm. The police caught the guy, and called the "owner" to come identify the weed. He did, and was promptly arrested for possession in a drug-free zone with intent to distribute. DUUUUUHHHH!!!!

In the crosshairs

I looooooooove The Childrens Place clothing. However, there are thousands of children near most military bases, yet TCP never builds a store less than 40 minutes away. OK, fine, there is the website, which is shitty at best. When you finally get fed up, and drive out tho bumfuck to get to the clothes (which are affordable, and well made, they usually last my kids a full year if we buy a bit big), you're happy to just get what you need and leave. Well, I have a TCP credit card. It's issued by a bank that is another word for metropolis. This means you call one number for TCP issues/orders, and another for credit card issues. THEN they have this program that you can earn points, and be issued a 10% off pass after a certain amount of money spent. This involves yet ANOTHER number, because there are invariably problems with using your rewards. So, even with all the stresses, I LOOOOOOOVE their clothes, and buy them almost exclusively for my children. Now, with my CC, I asked for a credit increase a couple months ago, and was denied, even though I have NEVER been late, and often pay off in full. (My divorce ruined my other credit, but this card and a few others are spotless) So, I spend hundreds a year, to be given the run around when I need assistance with an order, and then I'm denied a measly $200 more in credit. I. Am. Pissed. So, I made my final payment tonight, and when their banker's hours open next week, I'll be telling them where to shove their goddamn card. What ever happened to taking care of the customer? What happened to treating them with respect, and giving them advantages for being a good customer. Three years of faithful spending with these people, and they don't give a shit about me, so fuck them. P I S S E D!!!! I guess I'll buy off Ebay, or find another company who knows how to treat good customers. So, this is to make up for all of the wonderful recommendations I've made to other moms, encouraging them to shop at this store. Don't bother, you aren't worth shit to them.

Idiot of the Week 1/30-2/5/2006

I am going to go a little early with the idiot of the week this week, because my weekend is going to be insane. I'm still taking stories, so if you've come across anything extra stupid, pass it on to me!! For now, the nominees are Mr. "Someone stole my pot" (a quick nod to Phil on that one), Miss "check forger who can't spell" (sadly enough, I know someone who made that mistake forging military documents) and 100 Swiss policemen who don't have a clue amongst them. Who do you think the award should go to? I'll take votes in comments until tomorrow afternoon!!

Houston?? **updated**

We have a problem. You see, we were planning on buying a big screen TV on Friday, just in time for Super Bowl. We're hosting a SB party here, and N got a little excited and invited every. one. we. know. I'm serious, if you HAVEN'T been invited, it's only because you haven't run into N in the last week. So, we're planning on squeezing half of Fort Riley into our small house, but the "main attraction" was the TV. Except everyone in this state apparently had the same ambitions, and there are NONE of the TVs that we wanted, in our price range, ANYWHERE in 150 miles. (Well, I can't say none, because I plan on hunting one down tomorrow, if I have to rent it from one of those rental places.) Oh, shit. So, I get to spend the next 2 days desperately calling every retailer in NE Kansas, hoping to find a TV. Shit, shit, shit. Actually, fuck, fuck, fuck. I think this dilemma calls for a "fuck!" or three. As if the rest of the party prep, plus N being in the field wasn't enough!!
On a brighter note, he was promoted today, I got to attend the ceremony, pin him, AND stick him with the pins. (Tradition, but some people complained like little whiners, so the military doesn't allow it as "hazing" anymore, but I'm not military, so bite me) It was a pretty cool experience for me, I am so proud!!

Update: Problem solved, thanks to our friendly Ripoff Rent-a-center. I figure a 1 month rental (the minimum allowed) for under $200 is a small price to pay to save my husband's ass (and mine by proxy) from humiliation. Happy Super Bowl everyone! Party at my house!!

Is the job REALLY that bad?

I cannot figure out this whole "postal shooting" thing. Apparently, a former postal employee killed a bunch of people at a mail processing plant, then herself, this week. Another victim, her neighbor, has been found as well. So, what is it with these people?! Why do postal workers lose their shit and kill everyone?! What is so freaking stressful about that job that they need to start shooting people? I think it's been a while since a mail worker went looney, I was a kid when the term "go postal" was really popular. So, what gives? Why all the disgruntled employees? They get paid well (considering it's not a job that requires much education), get good benefits, and a hell of a pension plan... I just don't get it. My job is harder than that, and the pay fucking sucks. Any postal employees want to chime in on this?

Attack of the meme

Cori had tagged me for this meme, but I wanted to wait until I talked to my mom, since it asked abotu childhood stories. So, I didn't forget, Cor... here you go!

1. Hum a jingle of which you know all the words.
How the fuck to you hum in type?! Anyway... Hmmmmm hmm hm hmmmmmmm hm hm hi hmmm hmm. It's the Backyardigans theme song, an earworm for me.

2. As a kid you played a board game over and over. And you cheated, you little bastard! What was the game?
I really didn't play too many board games, being an only child for most of my life. I did play cards though, my great-grandmother taught me to play card games. I cheated at Solitaire, how lame is that?

3. What is the name of a song you've been singing incorrectly all these years? What were you singing, and what should you have been singing?
I'm really good at lyrics, most of the time, so I can't think of one. I did, however have an embarassing moment when I was about 10, over the song I chose. We were in Key West, and I picked "Why Don't We Get Drunk" by Jimmy Buffett. My dad asked me why I chose that song ("Why don't we get drunk, and screw?" is the hook) and I told him it had a good beat. I really didn't know what the lyrics MEANT at the time, and couldn't figure out why they were laughing at me!!

4. What is the most embarassing childhood story your parents always drag out just to fuck with you for their own private enjoyment?
Um, I had to ask my parents, since they generally don't tease me much (granted, this may change when they meet N in March!!) There was this trip to Cape Cod when I was 11 or so, to visit my grandfather. It was us in one car, and my parents' best friends in another, all with NJ tags. By the time we get to CT I'm bored out of my mind, and pipe up with "LOOK! Another car with NJ plates!!" like it was a miracle of biblical proportions. My dad teased me the rest of the way to the Cape, saying "What are the odds of THAT?!" Then we got there, and I (remember, I'm too old to be having tantrums at this point) had a meltdown, threw myself on the ground, and freaked out. They took a picture of me, and when they showed me later I completely denied it, claiming they were tickling me. My mom found that picture this weekend, I'm sure I'll see lots of it when we visit!!
See? I wasn't always the poised and articulate being you see before you today. Ok, even *I* can't keep a straight face there! I tag no one, but invite everyone, this is a fun meme!

Rough and tumble

Right now my children look like abuse victims. I swear these two can get more bumps and bruises than any other beings on this planet. We've already discussed Maddie's inability to sit still, which leads to things like the bruise on her cheek, and the scrapes on her legs. There have been more than a few times the kids have bruises down their spines from jumping off things or falling down. Shane's got a bruise on the side of his nose from a fit last night, as well as bumps and bruises from roller skating yesterday. So, tell me the truth... is it just my kids? I'm just waiting for CPS to come knocking, thinking we've been torturing them. *sigh* How do you teach equilibrium?

"Oh Shit!!" moment of the day

Nothing like an "Oh SHIT!!" moment to get your blood pumping on a Monday. Mine came about 20 minutes ago when I realized I forgot to put my wedding rings back on after my shower. Ok, no biggie, I'll go get them. They aren't where I left them. OH SHIT! Ok, don't panic, they are surely still in here, let's look around. OH SHIT!!!! OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!! I can't find them!! Fast forward through 20 minutes of frantic searching, and the missing rings were finally located underneath the kids' bath toys. Pass the Xanax, I can't handle this shit! Is it too early to start drinking?

Idiot of the month

I've decided to do an "Idiot of the week" post, with the stupidest person or people in the news. Since it's the last week of January, these people win for the whole month. From now on, I'll choose 1 of the weekly "winners" for the idiot of the month award. So, if you stumble across something extraordinarily stupid, don't forget to send it my way.

A nice hat tip to MajorDad for this gem. What's the thought process there? "Wow, I'd REALLY like to get that John Deere tattoo, but I don't feel like driving all the way to the tattoo studio. Oh, here's a guy with a homemade machine, he can do it for me!!" (BTW, artists get upset when you call it a tattoo "gun", it's a machine!) So, dipshits in this apartment complex let some door-to-door tattoo guy use his homemade machine to give them some ink, and only God knows what else. Then they got sick. Well, no shit! So, these retards in Springfield, MO win the "Idiot of the Month" for January 2006!! Congrats, and don't forget to take that penicillin.

Love it! (NSFW!!!)

My wonderful hubs told me about the Kid From Brooklyn. Even better, he got the link from a Major in his unit! It's hilarious, check out Bat Day, under Videos. Make sure there are no kids or bosses around, and turn up the speakers.

Be afraid

Host Name 70-58-53-237.eugn.qwest.net
IP Address 70.58.53.237
Country United States
Region Oregon
City Eugene
ISP U S West Internet Services

If this is you, I'd be VERY careful what you search from now on. You're lucky I don't call the police in Eugene, Oregon on your sicko ass. That is all.

Bite me

I hate my cable company. Thankfully, I have satellite TV, but my fucking internet is always wonky. I hate that there is only one cable company we can use on post, I'd switch to Cox in a heartbeat if I could, but noooooo... Charter has a contract here. So, I pay for shitty service, and have no other choice. Just like Sprint and local phone service, fucking monopolies. Anyway, I'm having an insomniac night, and every time I go to check something out, it takes for-fucking-ever. I'm so not in the mood.

Some random thoughts.
I was watching Maury today, and they had transgender and transexuals on. The one dude, who was born a woman, had changed to a man with hormones and all. The thing is, I think his testosterone levels were too high, because dude was so hairy he looked like he was wearing a sweater. And? He had male pattern baldness. Now, I know MPB comes from genetics, but how the fuck does a biological woman end up with it?! Totally strange.
This post was bad enough when we first moved here, but now we're getting all of the troops back from Iraq, and it's a freaking madhouse. Apparently, people just do not know how to drive, or even live like normal people. There are huge lines everywhere, you'd think they'd hire more clerks in the stores considering the rapid influx of troops, but no... we all must wait for hours to buy Coke or whatever. There is this lady who works at the shoppette up the street, and is slower than molasses. She barely speaks English, and whenever she's on the register I want to punch her in the fucking face, or at scream at her for moving at a snail's pace. People like that make me not want to leave the house.
I need a good book. Any recommendations? The only thing I really don't read is romance.

Congrats

Head over here and congratulate SJ and her family on their new little boy!!

My Grammy died last night. She was very ill for a while now, and it was only a matter of time, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm really sad, because I can't make it for the funeral, and it's been a while since I last saw her. Please keep my family in your thoughts, especially my Grandad. Thanks.

Avian Flu for you?

A parents board I frequent was discussing the Oprah show on Avian Flu. I didn't see the show, but apparently Oprah was warning us to stock up on food, water, and medications, because there is going to be a pandemic of the bird flu. A few of the members really feel this is a threat, and are sort of freaking out. Personally, I think it's a scare tactic, the US loves a good scare, and tends to freak out over nothing. Of course, fear, like sex, sells. So, what do you think? Are we all going to die of the bird flu, or is this another case of mass hysteria? If bird flu suddenly kicks our country's collective ass, I will be sccrewed, because I have NO intention of stocking up to prepare for it. One of these days there is going to be a real threat, and many of us will ignore it, because we're the country who cried wolf.

Reason #6,329,871 why I hate KS

I'm tired of the spackle that is in my sinus cavities every morning, and the need to stick Vaseline up my nose every night. This weather sucks. I grew up with cold weather, but I really don't remember this crap. Aren't you glad I'm sharing?

No shit, sherlock

I think most of us have been saying this for a while now. Glad to see someone is starting to take notice.

Ants

I swear to you, there is something wrong with my daughter. She's beautiful and sweet, but holy shit, she cannot sit still. Ever. She'll fall over when standing in one spot because she's squirming around in a constant state of motion. Sitting on the couch? She's fidgiting like a crack head. Sitting at the table? She'll fall out of her seat at least 3 times during every meal. I'm beginning to wonder if she has any kind of control over herself, because I've seen meth heads who were calmer. If you ask her to stop, she either ignores you, or says "I'm not dooooing anyfing!!", and shoots you a look like you have a dick growing out of your forehead. Almost all of her bumps and bruises, as well as her broken leg in 2004, were at least partially because she won't. Stop. Moving. Serious issues.

My children and my bank are trying to kill me

They've conspired against me. Apparently, this is "Cause Crystal to stroke out" week, and everyone is in on the fun! The children have learned to block out my voice, therefore they can run around getting into everything they are not supposed to be into, without the hassle of hearing mommy yell. My bank, or the postal service, has decided that the check I sent in to deposit (we bank with a TX bank, because I heart them, or at least I did until this week) is better off in the lost dimension of nothingness. You see, this sizable check was sent last week, the same day I sent out Thank You cards from Christmas. (Shut UP, I'm a slacker!) So, my mom told me that my Grandad received the TY card in NJ, but my bank (approximately 650 miles away) still hasn't received the check. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, except we've had some larger than normal expenses, and without that check my checking account is in double digits. Low double digits. NOT GOOD. So, I freak out, and hope that it appears, or I'll stroke out before payday. That is, if the kids don't kill me before then. Perhaps I should increase my life insurance this afternoon. Gah... I want my mommy.
Oh, yeah... the gliders tried to escape at the shoppette, too. Blood pressure is through the roof! If anyone has any sedatives they'd like to share, please let me know.

Leave a trail of breadcrumbs next time

My next door neighbor came home from Iraq this weekend. Another neighbor had told me he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, and today I saw him in action. He drove down our street, past our houses (we share a carport), and pulled in the driveway 2 houses down. I know he doesn't know them, because they moved in after we did, so I was curious. A few seconds later, he got back in his truck, pulled out of their driveway, and into ours. This guy drove past his own house, with all of the personalized "Welcome Home, Sgt. X" banners, into someone else's driveway, thinking it was his. Wow.

**Update**
The neighbor of the hosue he pulled into is a friend of mine. I went to say hi to her, and she was outside when he pulled up this morning. He actually didn't believe her when he got out of his car, and she told him it wasn't his house. Wow... genius!

The sound of my head hitting the wall

I am bored. Boooorrrrrrrrreeeeddddddddddd. I'm not bored enough to start cleaning (all housework gets done at night whenever possible), but definitely bored enough to start drooling soon. I've taken to messing with the dog's hair, and if I don't find something to do real soon, I'm going to end up painting her nails. Where'd I put that purple nail polish? Somebody help me!

Bump in the night

Let me set the scene for you. It's 3am, I've just snuggled into bed, but I'm having trouble sleeping. *!*!CRASH*!*!
There is a moment of consideration, like "Do I REALLY need to know what that was?" before I finally get up, grab my glasses, and trudge downstairs. Focusing my eyes in the dim light, I see a furball streak across the computer desk. Mind starts to process that... wait a minute! That's not right. HOLY SHIT! The gliders are loose! I notice one of the doors to the cage is open, and their pouches are empty. I grab a pouch, thinking they'll jump in, but the scoff at the idea. After all, it's playtime!! Ohshit, ohshit, ohshit! I run upstairs, and do the completely reasonable thing. I shake Nate awake, saying "Honey, I need HELP!", nearly giving him a stroke and causing him to shit his pants at the same time. "Sorry about that, no one is killing us, but the gliders are LOOSE!" So, we managed to get one of them back into the cage on their own, and lure the other with a mealworm. (Which, btw, was the crash... they knocked over the mealworm container, and broke it.) All is back to normal, except N's heart rate, and we head back to bed. Aren't you glad you don't live at my house?

Miss Alien

The new Miss America?





She looks like a freaking alien. (Though we love her, because she's a Sooner!!) Her eyes are set too far apart or something, I can't put my finger on it, but there were MUCH prettier women in that pageant. We watched about 5 minutes of it, and the girls were saying how they wanted to eat when it was over. Honey, have a french fry. It won't kill you. Why are we telling little girls that the way to be beautiful is to starve yourself? I know it's the age old question, but I was surprised at how blatant they were about it last night. So, congrats Miss Alien from Oklahoma (or as Shane says it "Omahoma") I hope you enjoyed your post-pageant binge.

The taxman givith, and the taxman taketh away

As I was filing our taxes the other day, I pondered the tax system. Let me say first, the IRS is not the agency I want to fuck with. They don't scare me, but they make me uneasy, because one mistake and those guys will be on you faster than an angry loan shark. So, I respect their authority and do what I'm told, so to speak. If you work for the IRS, please don't audit me. Anyway, I was thinking about the dollar, and the way we're taxed. I have this theory that every dollar is eventually taxed out. Follow me on this journey, walk with me here...
I make $1.00. I use that dollar to buy something, and pay tax on my purchase. Let's say sales tax is 8%, so 8 cents is tax. (For those of you that flunked basic math) The store then has to pay tax on their income, so more of the dollar is gone. Another portion of the dollar goes to the company that manufactured the goods, and they pay income tax on it as well. Yet another portion of the dollar goes to pay Sally, who works at the store, and Jane, who works at the manufacturing plant. They both pay income tax on their part. Everyone in the scenario (except me, because I spent my whole dollar) then goes on to use their portions (after tax) to purchase goods, and pay tax on those. The cycle continues, until eventually there is nothing left of the dollar, the taxman has it all. Make sense?

**All of this is without taking into account tax brackets, shelters, and refunds. We're just talking basics here, so please don't jump on me about the politics of it all.**

So, logically, it can't possibly happen like this, but it seems like it must. After all, I pay taxes on income, taxes on the things I buy with the income, and so on. So, for those of you who majored in economics, can you give me some insight here? Sure, I should have paid close attention in school, but then what would would I blog about?

Never-stay-at-home mom

I am a SAHM. This is usually a wonderful thing, but it can also be the hardest job imaginable. So, today I went and registered my children for day care. No, I'm not getting a job... I'm putting my children in day care for a couple hours a week, so I can do whatever the hell I like during that brief period of time. (There are parenting Nazis writing me emails right now. Please refer to my hate mail policy if you choose to proceed with your ranting. Thank you!!) Yes, you read that correctly, the kids will go to day care so I can relax. GASP!! After I had a slight mental breakdown, my wonderful and amazing husband decided I needed a break, and that the price of hourly day care is a pittance when weighed against my sanity. So, time to fess up. How many of you SAHMs have some kind of help, be it a relative who takes the kids so you can grocery shop in peace, a babysitter who comes so you can hide out and write, or a daycare where they can participate in activities you don't have to clean up? If you don't, do you wish you could? On the other side of the fence, do you think it's selfish and damning my children to a life of therapy? (It's ok if you do, I'm willing to take that chance.) For you SAHMs (or dads!) what is your day like? Do you feel like pulling your hair out at the end of the day, or are you just skipping along in a joy of parenting? I don't know about the rest of you, but I have NO idea how to play with preschoolers. They spend most of their day playing with each other, because I haven't got the slightest idea how to entertain them. And for that matter, why do I feel the NEED to entertain them? Who made me cruise director? No one entertained me at that age, and I was an only child! I'm begining to think we parents have just lost sight of reality, and are beating ourselves up over nothing.

From Cori to Katy to me

Cori and Katy took it, so I jumped on the bandwagon. I'm 3% stupid according to this test. How about you?

A matter of opinion

We found out something this weekend that has really been on my mind. I'm interested in your opinions, especially those of you who are or have been divorced.

A friend's ex-wife has custody of their 2 year old son, and lives many states away. She's been dating a convicted sex offender, and has introduced him to her son. Our friend is obviously horrified by this, and very concerned for his child. Now, I know it mentions sex offenders in my divorce decree, to the effect of the parent must notify the other parent if they marry or live with a convicted offender. Unfortunately, that doesn't apply for dating one. I asked our friend what this guy was convicted of, because that can make a difference. Some convicted and registered offenders are "Romeo and Juliet" offenders, an 18 year old dating a 16 year old, or whatever. Not this guy, he was convicted of molesting a child(ren). Whoa. Now, as a mother, I can't imagine dating someone that I knew molested children. What could she be thinking?? I told our friend he needs to take her to court, and gain custody of his son, now!! This is just appalling!

Now for the opinion part. Do you think this situation should be covered by a divorce/custody agreement? Do you think it should be permitted, an adult should be allowed to date whomever they want? Should it be an automatic cause for loss of custody? Personally, I think we have a hard enough time protecting our children from those we don't know are molesters, why in the hell would we invite one into our lives? What happens if this child is harmed by this sick fucker? Nothing can erase that! And even if I were single and childless, I don't think I could get into bed with someone who likes to touch children. That's a special kind of sicko, and I'd want no part of it! Ok, go ahead... sound off.

Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

FX decided back in November (it slipped under my radar) that is would not be renewing "Over There". I'm crushed, I LOVED that show! They renewed "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", which I thought was a stupid show, yet axed such an awesome drama. Excuse my while I go console myself with chocolates.

Helllllllllloooooooooooo

Um, hi. I'd write, but I have nothing. to. say. We went out Thursday night, and my body kicked my ass for it. After running around on Friday, and recovering yesterday, I finally feel normal again. We're busy bonding with the new "babies", who are even cuter than their pictures, and they are warming up to us nicely. We had a houseful of infantry guys today, for football and lasagna. The Colts lost, which was a shocking blow to N. That about sums it up. See? Nothing to talk about. Well, that's a lie, I was going to blog about the kid who was shot by the SWAT team in FL, but haven't gotten to it. Here's the reader's digest version of my rant. Kid was old enough to know better, shouldn't have taken ANY gun to school, especially not a gun made to look real. Once the police showed up, he definitely knew better than to brandish it towards them. Duh. We wouldn't be in an uproar about this if the kid had done somthing like lay on the train tracks and been killed. What he did was equally stupid, and I have no sympathy at all. None. I hope his parents don't get a red cent in lawsuits (which I'm sure will be filed shortly).What are your thoughts?

Thursday Things

Want a cool new read? Go check out MDMHVONPA and his Twin Tyrants over at White Lightining Axiom: Redux. I love his site, probably because his twins are the same age as mine, and put us to task with equal vigor. The difference? He's better at writing the tales. Go, shoo... check him out! Oh, and say hi for me!!

Our new additions!!

Meet the newest additions to our little family! We're adopting these little guys from a wonderful woman in the area. We meet our new sugar gliders tomorrow afternoon, and I'm beside myself with excitement!! Who wouldn't be... aren't they cute?? Fred and Ginger are twins, they are about 1 year out of pouch, and very bonded to each other. I hope they love their new home with us!!

Better late than never!!

Hey you... yeah you, behind that rock! Did you know it is National De-Lurking week? last year we had a measly little day, but this year we're de-lurking (it is SO a word, Sheryl said so!!!) for a whole WEEK! Except, it's Wednesday and I'm just getting to my de-lurking post, so I get a half week. Either way, that means all (10) of you who stumble over here from time to time need to stop being shy, and say hello!! Help a girl out here, if you don't comment, it starts to look like I'm talking to myself. You know what they do with people who talk to themselves, dontcha?

Monkey business

Only in this family:

I had told my MIL that N and I had kissed and made up after a little bickering. She emailed me back with "Woohooo! Kissin + makin up = more little apes??" That's love right there... with a desire for more grandkids mixed in. I know I'm lucky to have such a cool relationship with Nate's mom, even if she does have ulterior motives.

Feelin' fine

Thanks for all of your well wishes, I'm feeling better today. The kids are still driving me nuts, but that's their job, right? I hope y'all are having a good day!! Dont forget, if you know anyone from Wisconsin, you can bring them some culture and teach them to dance!! Fun for the whole family!

Beware: I bite!!

I'm just really not in a good mood tonight. I don't want to talk to anyone, except my Cori, and she's not around. (Of course, I mean this as no offense to my friends both IRL and in my computer, it's just the foul mood I'm in!! *muah* Love y'all!) The kids have been rotten all week, I'm none too impressed with any adults right now either, and all in all I'm ready for Monday, a chance to at least start fresh!! In the meantime, I suggest running in the other direction if you see me, unless you are coming to lavish me with gifts and Starbucks. I prefer mocha fraps with at least 1 extra shot of espresso, and caramel drizzle. Just so you know.

Meet Your New Mommy **Updated**

We're watching "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy". The mom from Ft. Lauderdale, FL went to a Wisconsin farm. She's got a hairstyle and clothes from the 1980s, and an attitude that would make you want to slap her. Since arriving in Wisconsin, she's talked down to the teenage kids about the house, brought out a bag of children's books, and children's books written in English and French, telling them they are going to learn French, and learn about culture, made the family run at the crack of dawn rather than do their chores, freaked out trying to revive a dead chicken, and "taught" the kids the Electric Slide. The best part?
"They don't have dancing in Wisconsin. We play music in Florida and dance, I just want to bring a little culture to this family."
HOLY CRAP! Did you know they don't have DANCING in WISCONSIN!! They've never heard music either, and the animals in Wisconsin "aren't used to the heat" like she is, since she's from FLORIDA. The woman is INSANE.... and no one will say anything to her!! She's just going on and on and on about how much she's helping these people. The family seriously hates her, but is too polite to say "Stop insulting us, we're not 3, nor do we live in a bush in a 3rd world country. Thanks!"

If you are on the west coast, you totally need to watch this tonight!!!

Update: For those of you who missed it, the second half is next Friday. You have GOT to catch the end of this one!

Motivational Speaker

Maddie is upstairs singing "Shaney's a winner, Lyssa's a winner, Shaney's a winner, Lyssa's a winner. All MYYYYYY friends are winNNNNNEEEERRRRRRRRSSSSS!!!"

They're supposed to be cleaning, so why isn't she singing the clean-up song?

Stark

One of our toilets started leaking this weekend, with a suspected cracked tank. N turned off the water, and called housing to put in a work order for it. Cool beans, they weren't sure if anyone would be working yesterday (this was not an "emergency" since we have 2 bathrooms) so it would probably be early this morning when someone came to fix it. I remembered this while I was in the shower, and prayed I hadn't missed the maintenance guy. Jump out, towel off, and head downstairs to the laundry room (in a towel) to get my robe from the dryer. No sooner do I pull the robe out than the doorbell rings. SHIT! I wrap up tight in my robe, take a deep breath, and open the door. I was expecting our usual maintenance man, he's a really nice older guy, I wouldn't feel too compelled to crawl under a rock and die. Um, no... it's some guy I've never seen before, about my age, and looking completely shocked to see me standing there, looking like a drowned rat. "Good morning, it's blatantly obvious I just stepped out of the shower, be very grateful my husband bought me this nice long robe for Christmas. The broken toilet is up there, excuse me while I get some freaking clothes, and wring out my hair. Thanks!" Actually, that's what I should have said, but mostly I just stammered and pointed like an idiot. The best part? The tank IS cracked (duh, didn't we tell them that??), therefore Mr. Repair Guy will be back at 3 to replace it.

Ugh, this is just not my day...

Dogtags and DFAS

Some military tidbits are on my mind tonight, so you'll have to bear with me.

You know you're a military wife when you break a sweat feeding body armor through the sewing machine, all the while cursing because you know you'll be ripping the rank back off in a month. (I'm NOT complaining, the promotion is worth it!)

While we're on the topic of sewing crap onto gear... it drives me INSANE when the nametags and rank are not the same color as the gear (tan on green, etc). Also irritating? The body armor is often in green camo, but worn over DCUs (desert uniforms). Doesn't that just negate any camoflauging the uniforms provided? Hell, soon they'll all be wearing the new ACUs, which look like a computer threw up on you, and NOTHING will match. This irritates my Virgo type-A personality.

There is some TEENY, TINY print on N's LES (that's like a paystub for you civilian folk) that says his life insurance premiums went up a buck, for traumatic injury protection. I mean, it's only a dollar, but would it kill these people to let us know what the "protection" is? I mean, what if we're paying a dollar to find out they will give us 75 cents in the event of a "traumatic injury"? Why do I have to ask the Google Gods these things?!

The artillary at night doesn't bother me, I rarely notice it anymore. However, if the kid next door doesn't stop revving his engine, and idling with that fart can muffler on his POS Honda, I may kill him. We get it, your dick is huge because you have a 4 cylinder "race" car that's as old as you are. Knock it off already!!

Hyphenated house numbers suck. I'm tired of explaining "No, DASH 1, not apartment 1."

I love hearing TAPS at the end of the night...

Men in uniform are hot. And don't get me started on the guys carrying rifles. Yum!

I'm really excited to pin my husband next month. I REALLY wish I could teach someone else to take a decent picture with my camera, I may just pick up a disposable for the occasion. Prepare for lots of pictures and cheesy gushing.

High Resolution

It's that time again, time to make your resolutions for the new year. I'm not very good at keeping resolutions of any kind, let alone ones made for a whole year. This year, instead of making some extravagant list of things I'm committed to doing, I've embraced the idea of baby steps. I'm working on one resolution, which I began yesterday. I'm not revealing it yet, because that would hold me accountable, and I don't need the extra guilt on my mind. I've got enough guilt to last me until 2010, thankyouverymuch. However, I AM making some short and long term rewards for myself, so every time I think of quitting I say "I want XM radio." That's my 6 month reward, so I should be listening o commercial-free goodness by July. N says I should try to think of the most obnoxious, make-you-want-to-pierce-your-eardrums commercial on the radio, and how I never want to hear it again. Oddly enough, the worst one I could think of was from the car dealership we worked for in TX, it's truely nauseating. I want XM, I want XM, I want XM.... chant with me...

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year to all of you! It's not quite midnight on the east coast, but 2006 is quickly approaching. I hope each of you have a safe and wonderful 2006!!

The Stupidity Award goes to...

This kid. Hi, Mr. 16-year-old from Ft. Lauderdale. This is the real world calling, and we've got a very important message for you. You are an idiot. Simply havng Iraqi-born parents does NOT make you one of "them", and walking into a war zone as an American (minor) citizen could have gotten you killed. These people have no problem killing their own innocent citizens, so chopping the head off a US kid would be no skin of their nose.

A note to his parents, he's only 16. HOW THE HELL DID HE MAKE IT OUT OF THE COUNTRY WITHOUT YOU KNOWING?? I couldn't have made it across the state line without my parents finding out, let alone get a passport AND a visa, buy a plane ticket, and FLY TO A WAR ZONE! Where were you on this one? I hope he's grounded for a long time. My parents would have kicked my ass if the police had brought me back to the house, let alone the 101st Airborne of the US Army!

So, in honor of this incredible act of stupidity and incompetence, I am awarding Hassan family, of Ft. Lauderdale, FL, the Stupidity Award of 2005. Congrats!!

Fact or Quack?

I went for my second visit with the chiropractor today. This was where we went over my Xrays, and discussed treatments. We're paying out of pocket for this care, since Tricare is still in the Dark Ages, and any "alternative" medicine is not covered. Well, after 6 months of excrutiating pain, and countless bottles of Motrin and Tylenol, I'd had enough with MDs, and booked a consult withthe chiro. Um, to put it mildly, my shit is fucked up. I have whiplash in my neck, pinched nerves in 4 different areas, arthritis in my cervical and lumbar disks, and a whole plethora of other things a 23 year old should not have.

When we went over the Xrays today, (N and I both went, so we could all discuss it) the doc said "Are you SURE you haven't had any traumatic injury? Falls, bad car accidents, that sort of thing? The damage and degeneration here is far too advanced to be just from normal wear." I was certain there were no incidents, until N said "What about car wrecks with your ex?" You see, my ex was not the most cautious driver, and had wrecked his car quite a few times during the first couple years of our relationship. I was all "Nope, I wasn't in the car for most of his wrecks, except one small fender bender, barely a tap really. OH.... SHIT! I was!! I was with him when he totalled his VW into the back of a Suburban. Ohmigod! How could I have forgotten about that?!"

It was totally bizarre to see the damage from an accident I had forgotten about. I never even saw a doc after that accident, I felt fine, save some bruises on my knees and head. All this time I've been in pain, and never would have thought about that (among other things) being the cause. So, anyway, the treatment is costly, since it's not covered by insurance, but I had my first realignment today, and felt like a whole new person. I honestly cannot remember the last time I could sit up straight without lower back pain, or turn my neck without a shot of pain down my side. That is totally worth every penny, but I still want to kick someone's ass at Tricare. They'd better be careful, a couple more alignments, and I might feel good enough to do it.

Gifts!!

My doorbell rang this morning, and since I wasn't expecting anyone (especially not anyone who rings the bell) I cautiously opened the door. Our "substitute' mailman was standing there with a box from...
MY CORI! You see, whenever we haven't talked in a while (like more than 12 hours) we get all excited and say "I MISS MY CORI!!!" "I MISS MY CRYSTAL!!!" (editors note: I spelled my own name wrong at first, typing "Christal" Wow, I need a nap!) So, the return address said "Your Cori!!!", and I almost jumped up and down with excitement!! Inside were the coolest gifts. A card that has a "Leave it to Beaver" type mom and kids, and reads "I love my rotten, ungrateful children", an old book (she found it at some library, though I'm not really sure where) called "Crystal is my Friend", a Bad Taste Bears keychain from England, and a mini Tamagotchi. I had mentioned in passing that I had one in HS, and really wanted another, as childish as that sounds. So, Cori is the bestest friend ever, and found me cool and unique gifts for Christmas. Of course, I'm now worried that the Tinkerbelle purse I got her was lame, but what can you do? Thanks, Cori!!!

Brain eating monster

Have you ever been so stupified by something on tv, you've actually been rendered incapable of changing the channel? Yeah, it happens to me more than I'd like to admit. The radio is equally bad, I often find myself wondering why in the hell I'm still listening. Tonight, when I turned the TV on, Jimmy Kimmel's show was on. He had sent his aunt out to some KROQ event, where she was accosted by drunk idiots, and plain ol' idiots like Steve-o. Meanwhile, I'm reaching the point where I start drooling on myself, because all of my brain cells have run away. Suddenly, I remember that I have the magical remote, and the power to save myself before it's too late. Of course, I'm watching the Cosby Show now, because channel surfing is out of the question. If you find any little cells running around, they're mine, please don't step on them.

The basis of America

Breezy and I have been having a discussion on the phrase "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas. I thought I would open it up in a separate post, so we could all chime in. He states retailers in America should say "Merry Christmas" because American is mostly Christian and founded on Christian beliefs.
I say we should say "Happy Holidays", because many religions celebrate holidays during the Christmas season, we should be tolerant of ALL religions, and our country was founded by Christians but for the purpose religious freedom. We left England because we were being religiously prosecuted. The founding fathers wrote the 1st amendment to protect ALL religions, not just Christianity. It has nothing to do with being "PC", and everything to do with respect for others. One cannot tell just by looking what religous background someone has. For example, I was teasing Breezy, and told him he assumed I was Christian. My maiden name is Jacobs, I have Eastern European facial structure and coloring, I could very well be Jewish. (I'm not saying that to be offensive, I have been asked more than once if I'm of Jewish faith) I'm not, my coloring comes from Southern Europe, my ancestors who first came to America were Dutch and English, my mom's dad was Irish. We were raised Methodist, and I converted to the Baptist church as a teen, but have since left the church.
Ok, say you want strictly adhere to the religion of our founding fathers, as Breezy's argument suggests. They were Quakers. That means the ONLY acceptable sect of Christianity in America is Quaker. The Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, Baptists, Methodists, and other denominations of Christianity go against the basis of our country. You cannot have your cake and eat it, too.

So, I open this up to all of you, discuss amongst yourself. Breezy, since the discussion was originally between us, I open the floor for a rebuttal. You can post it in comments, or email me, and I'll post it here.

To each and every one of you

Happy holidays, and a safe and prosperous new year to all of you. I've enjoyed getting to know each of you, and look forward to all of the things the new year will bring us.

Apprentice Fireman

We just got a call from the newest Apprentice Fireman in the US Coast Guard. Jake graduated basic training today!! He's coming to see us about 2 January, on his way back to TX from Indianapolis. We're very proud of him, and excited to see the "new and improved" Jakey!!

Magical Christmas

Kim posted a story about how INSANE her parents are, and the great lengths they went to to keep the magic of Santa alive. Her story blows mine out of the water, so be sure to go read it.
Growing up, my mom and I lived in an apartment above my grandparents' house. We obviously did not have a chimney, so I remember questioning how Santa would get in. Mom explained that Santa knew we didn't have a chimney, so she left the front door unlocked, with a note for him to come in. (We lived in the country, locking doors was not common anyway) Ok, I'll buy that for a dollar, but mom decided to take it one step further. We had a very evil cat, he usually slept on my pillow (and bit my head when I moved) but he would often get up to prowl the living room and destroy whatever he can find. On Christmas Eve, mom sprinkled glitter and cookie crumbs on the stairs, and some puffs of cotton in the living room. I awoke on Christmas morning to find the mess, and wonder what happened to Santa. My mom explained that Santa must have startled Blackie (our cat, he was solid black, and I named him when I was 5. Cut me a break.) must have startled Santa, and scratched his suit, leaving some of the fluffly cotton from his cuffs behind. He left in such a hurry he was eating his cookies on the way out the door.
I ate it up, because mom's word was gospel, but looking back, my mom is a horrible liar! I can't wait to see the sparkle in my childrens' eyes when the magic fills their hearts, I hope that we can make each Christmas as special as my mom did.

Father Time

Has anyone else noticed how fast the year has flown by? Seriously, I feel like it was just last Christmas, Maddie was in a cast, we were barely scraping by, Nate and I had just gotten married, and we were fighting with the Army to let him back in. We've made it so far in the past year, in every facet of our lives, and I'm eternally grateful for that. However, if time could just slow down a teensy tiny bit, I wouldn't complain. My children are growing too fast, my life is moving too fast, and I'm not prepared at all. Do the years actually get shorter as you get older? If life is this fast at 23, I'm terrified of my 40s.

Hand Eye Coordination Test

This is pretty cool, I guess all those years of video games finally paid off. Give it a shot!

Just wondering

Have you ever put Chapstick in your chapped, cracked nose, because you couldn't find any vaseline? Yeah, me either. I hate winter!

Awesome gifts

We received my parents' Christmas gift to us today, a 6 piece luggage set. I'm totally excited, it's the perfect gift for newlyweds like us, and it's going to come in handy for our trip to NJ in March. So, what's one of your favorite gifts? On the flip side, what "perfect" gift have you found for someone? I usually struggle with gift ideas, so when I do find a "perfect" gift it makes my whole day!

Sins

We had a wonderful time celebrating our anniversary last night! "Walk the Line" was an awesome movie, totally worth seeing! The original plan was changed on the spur of the moment, and we drove out to Topeka to go to a casino. I'd never been to a casino before, so it seemed like a fun idea. We didn't make it out there until midnight, and stayed until nearly dawn. Driving back was *real* fun since it had started to snow. Anyway, we're recooperating today, and definitely had a night to remember.

To my husband

Happy anniversary honey, I love you. Here's to many, many more.

5 random facts

Becky tagged me with the 5 random things meme, so here goes.

1. I used to play the flute. I wasn't ever very good. I couldn't even remember how to play the scales when I went to visit my parents in 2003.

2. I have to sleep with socks on, and I have to rub my feet against the sheets to fall asleep. In all honesty, I change my socks about 3 times a day, I'm a little OCD about them.

3. I learned to waterski at age 7. My grandfather bought me skis and drilled holes in them, so he could tie them together while I learned.

4. I love the ocean, and hate lakes. Lakewater grosses me out.

5. I didn't go on a rollercoaster until I was 12. I was terrified, and it took 2 tries before I actually stay in the seat and rode the coaster. I'm a big wuss.

Nate's home!!!

A fielding during the holiday season is always a crappy idea! I have way too much to do already, and N not being home was not helping. Anyway, I got a new haircut today, I'll take pictures tomorrow. Even more exciting (for me) I finished my Christmas shopping!! Now I just need to get to the post office and mail the gifts going out of state, and I'll be good to go. The downside? I'm STILL not done with the kids' playroom, and I totally need to get my ass in gear. I'll work on it again tomorrow, I swear!! Maybe my neverending headache will finally go away if I get that damn room finished. Anyone know where I can find some elves??

Not surprising

It's hard to believe this is even news, I assumed it was common sense. The conservatives keep saying the economy is doing well, but apparently they don't care about the low income citizens. Kanye West made a lot of people mad saying "George Bush doesn't care about black people." I think the more accurate statement is "The government doesn't care about poor people."

For our anniversary

N and I will celebrate our first wedding anniversary on Friday. When we got married we were B-R-O-K-E, and our rings reflect that. Mine still isn't sized to my ring finger, and N's has taken a beating, so we decided to buy new ones. Here are our new wedding rings, N's will be here tomorrow!





Update: I gave N his ring tonight, because he apparently already knew I bought them. Um, I don't know how I ruined that surprise!! Anyway, he LOVES it, it's lighter and fits better than his old ring, so he's happy! I can't wait to get mine!!

Execution

First let me say I am a supporter of capital punishment. Many of my fellow liberals are not, but I think there are many crimes that deserve such a fate. The execution this morning of Stanley "Tookie" Williams has caused uproar from both sides of the fence. He maintained his innocence until death, but the reality is he was the founder of the Crips, a lethal street gang that has killed many. Even IF he did not kill the 4 people he was convicted of murdering, one can say with almost certainty he has taken the life of at least one person in his gang years. Do I think he redeemed himself? Yes and no. He had done wonderful things to promote peace and denounce gangs during the final years of his life, but he also supported murderers like Mumia Abu Jamal, and the message of hate and racism they spread.
Do I think Tookie should have been executed? No. The only reason I feel he should have been granted clemency is the message his execution sends. He tried to turn his horrible crimes and the violence he started into a message of peace. Killing him shows young people who are headed to that decision, whether they join the gang or do something better for themselves, that no matter how hard you try to redeem yourself, the "man" will get you. These young people already distrust authority, and it's easy for gang members to plant the seed in their mind when they see how the authorities handled this case. Why bother obeying the law when you think it won't get you anywhere anyway? I'm not saying the mentality is correct, just that it's real.
Now, back to Mumia Abu Jamal, he's a Black Panther, and has been convicted of murdering Philadelphia Police Officer Daniel Faulkner. I think they should fry his ass from here until next week, not because killing a police officer is worse than killing 4 civilians, but because he has made no apologies for any of his actions, and continues to spew forth hate and racism from Death Row. (He is now serving life in prison, apparently a judge overturned his death sentence conviction). That's where I stand, in case you were wondering.

Shameless plug

My sexy, wonderful husband has a MySpace account, and asked me if I'd give him a shameless plug. He keeps in touch with his brothers and friends from his hometown there, and would LOVE to have my awesome readers head over there and leave a comment or two. So, go on... check him out, tell him how awesome he is and remind him he is OH SOO LUCKY to be married to me. ;)

To Yeida

My empanadas just don't taste as good as yours. Can I hire you to be my empanada maker? The pay sucks, but I make a mean lasagna! Love ya!

I do not love thee

I had to get up at 5:45am to take N to work, because he is going to the field today, and I needed to keep the van. It's been a while since I had to get up that early on a regular basis, but one thing has not changed, I hate 6am. What is there to love about the ass crack o' dawn, especially in the winter? It was cold, and dark... people are cranky and drive like assholes. I have so much respect for my husband and his ability to get up early, and actually function. I'm so NOT a morning person, and I'm grateful he works so hard to spare me that alarm clock. You know you're in bad shape when Coke won't wake you up, I think I'll need a DoubleShot by midday.

How old is too old

To have a baby? I belong to a message board at a fertility charting site, and there are a bunch of women who are in their late 40s, and early 50s that are trying to conceive. One woman has 10 kids, and at age 52 is trying to have another. From the sound of her posts, her husband is not thrilled with the idea, he's reluctantly supportive at best. How old is too old? I think at 52 it's a bit unreasonable, you are at best beginning menopause, and pregnancy can be dangerous. My mom had my brother at just 36, and it was much, much harder on her than her pregnancy at 18 with me. What do you think? Would you be actively trying to have a baby at that age?

I love you guys!!

I love coming here, posting, and getting such awesome comments. Meeta so graciously offered assistance in figuring out what to get my parents, and sharing her crafty ideas. And of course, the wonderful (and famous!!) Michele offered up one of her "favourite" (I love the "u" Canadians put into words, it seems so natural to me!) gift ideas, which happens to be PERFECT for this situation! Seriously, if you don't know and love these 2 beautiful ladies already, you need to go visit them!

Bring your ideas!

I want to get my parents something cool for Christmas (which is also mom's bday, ACK!) and am on a budget. We're going to visit them in March, but I wanted to send something special to them for the holidays. I have NO CLUE what to send! Any ideas? It can be crafted or store bought, as long as it's not boring. Help me out here, the clock is ticking!

**Sigh**

This is too freaking cold! In case you were wondering, it feels like -8. Fun!!

Moving right along

For those who were wondering, I'm not pregnant. (Hi mom, don't worry, I won't announce a pregnancy to my blog before telling you guys. Promise!!) So, that's that.
It's been snowing here, it snowed all day yesterday, and most of the night. We took the kids out to play in it, they had never been in real snow before, had only seen flurries a couple of times. They LOVED it!! We had to drag them back inside for hot chocolate, and they still wanted to play some more. We made snow angels, and "snowballs" (the snow was too powdery and light to stick together, so it was more like handfuls of snow). The kids wanted Daddy to make a snowman, but the whole not sticking thing ended that endeavor. Really, it was fun all around, other than the snow down my pants from making a snow angel!
We got a few inches, hard to tell how much exactly because of the wind, but I shovelled the walk with about 2 inches, and another 2 fell after that, give or take an inch. It's expected to stay around, since temps will range from the low single digits to the mid-20s. Yay!!! *eye roll*
So, how are you doing today? Got all your Christmas/Holiday shopping done?

Yay!!!

Can I get a round of applause for my husband, who aced his promotion board today? He received nothing but compliments from the board, and they've asked him to go for the Audie Murphy Club, Post Soldier of the Quarter, and Post Soldier of the Year, as well as other honors. I'm so proud of him!!

Update: He was awarded Soldier of the Month for his unit! The Sergeant Major raved about his performance, and said he would have awarded him NCO of the Month at the same time if he could. :)

Um...

I think we have a problem with Loki. She's spayed, not to mention she's a GIRL, and she just humped N's arm. Like, full blown, going to town, just swallowed some Vi@gr@ humping. Perhaps we need to sit her down for a heart to heart.

Consider

How horrible would it be to eat 5 warm, gooey brownies. This is purely hypothetical, of course, I'm only asking for scientific purposes. How many hours at the gym might one have to put in to burn off all those calories? Do you think eating the rest of the brownies would burn off the calories from the first five? This ought to be a Harvard study.

Feels like 6

His father's son

N is definitely a "Type A" personality, and he has passed some traits onto our boy. Shane is more than a little OCD, one of his favorite complaints is "My shoes are dirty!!" So, I wasn't remotely surprised when I walked by him this morning, and noticed he only had two colors of Fruit Loops left in his bowl. A few minutes later he had only one color left. My 3 year old son eats his Fruit Loops by color. If that isn't anal, I don't know what is. Further proof that environment is more important than genetics.

Warning: Girl stuff ahead!

Seriously, if you are a guy, you may want to move along, this might gross you out. Don't say I didn't warn you!

I may have mentioned before that we are trying to have another child. We've been "officially" trying since June, and obviously not having much luck. Charting is a foreign concept to me, out of the 12 years I've been "a woman" (yes, I'm dancing around this, in case any boys ignored my warning.) I've written down my cycle approximately 6 times, and those have been in the last 6 months. So, keeping track of fertility signs, and all of the other crap that comes along with TTC, is becoming increasingly frustrating. I officially know more about my body than I ever cared to... I've TMIed myself! So, it's that time again, time to be either heartbroken, or estatic. I'd really appreciate some cooperation from my body, even if it was bad news, because waiting sucks. It really sucks. And, if it's bad news, the waiting for next month sucks even more. I think it was much easier the first time around, when I didn't even think about taking a pregnancy test until someone said "Do ya think...?" Family planning isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Exhaustion

It's been a busy 36 hours, there is just a ton of real life crap going on, and it's tiring me out. Isn't this supposed to be the weekend? Weekends are supposed to be lazy and wonderful. Bah!!

Ewwww

One of the worst sensations in the world is Super Glue on your skin. It SUCKS.

What not to do, Insanity style...

Taking a page from Tish's book blog, I'm bringing you a special edition of what not to do at a military checkpoint. Many people have never had the pleasure of driving through the gates of a military post since 9/11. At first there were armed soldiers at the gates, checking IDs, and filling out passes for visitors. Currently, there is a private security firm that mans our borders, and gives the illusion of safety. (Believe me, it's just an illusion) You'll find that these tips also apply for airport checkpoints, as the procedures are very similar. Now, here are a few things that are unwise when encountering the security checkpoint.

*Do not joke with the guards about having loads of C4 in your trunk. The same applies to handguns, live grenades, machetes, drugs, and other contraband. They don't think it's funny, and you won't either when they disassemble your vehicle like you're smuggling illegals from Mexico.

*Do not leave your photo ID on post, and then try to return to post. They won't let you in, no matter how much you cry, plead, or bribe them. Especially if you bribe them with donuts.

*Do not make rent-a-cop joke in earshot of the guards. They have the ability to do "random" checks on vehicles, and can make the checks as long and painful as they like. Unless you want to find your ass sitting on the sidewalk while they tear apart your car and call the FBI for a background check, you should try and be nice to these folks.

Lastly, (and this actually happened in front of me yesterday) DO NOT stop in the outgoing lane to talk to the guards. Besides holding up traffic leaving post, you are stopping on the guards blind side, and they do carry loaded weapon. One trigger-happy guard could make those directions you're asking for useless, unless you were already on your way to the city morgue.

So, I hope you have found this useful and educational. Next time you encounter an armed guard, stay calm and don't make any sudden moves. They're like wild animals, you don't want to spook them.

Bah!

I am nearing my snapping point with these munchkins. I should have read the fine print on my contract about playing ref to their many squabbles per minute. Things I've said in the last 10 minutes (sparing you the conversations while at the doctor's office) "STOP IT! SIT DOWN!! DON'T TOUCH THAT!! It's NOBODY'S movie! It's NOT your toy, it's on TV!! Just EAT your SNACK! Don't touch her snack! Don't make me call your daddies!! (they work together, one phone call does it all!) Get away from there!! KNOCK IT OFF! Stop picking your nose!! SIT SIT SIT!!! HEY!!! DON'T TOUCH!!"

Add that on a loop, and you have my afternoon. YAY!!

I am working on a post about being a parent, music, and Kanye West. That should be interesting, if I ever get it written. I will try to be less boring, but I make no promises before bedtime. Don't touch the dog!! Oh, sorry... habit.

I feel pretty!!

Heather from Swank Webstyle has given me my first blog makeover!! I feel like a beauty queen!! It's making me all giddy, and causing the overuse of exclaimation marks!! So... go ahead, tell me how gorgeous I am, you know you want to, dah-ling. While you're at it, please head on over to Swank, and let them treat you like the royalty you are!! Really, there are tons of design companies out there, but check out the designers' portfolios at Swank, they are sure to have something to fit your needs!

Bummer

In case you haven't already noticed, today is a multi-post kind of day. I'm thinking that as the weather gets colder, and the snow gets deeper, you'll see more of me around, because there is only so much one can do indoors. Besides, I need some excuse to not clean my house, it's haunting me, but I can't seem to muster up enough drive to get scrubbing.

Now for the regularly scheduled programming. I might have mentioned before how military healthcare sucks the big one. Still, every once in a while you find a "diamond in the rough", a doctor who takes excellent care to a new level. I had found that with a Colonel here, he's a nurse practitioner who actually took the time to listen, treat, and problem solve with me. I called to make a follow up for my Happy Pills (take that, Tom CrazyCruise!) and found out he has taken over the administration of Clinic 1 (he had mentioned that last time I saw him). This means he has very few actual appointments, but he had conveyed his ideas for bettering the health clinics for our families, and I think he's going to really make a difference as head of the clinic. So, I requested an appointment with another practitioner in Clinic 1, even though it is not my "assigned" clinic, because I think I'm better off sticking with someone who is operating under his instruction. It's all too rare to find quality healthcare in the US, and even more so in the military health system (they are exempt from malpractice suits, making it appealling for lower quality civilian docs to work for the military hospitals). So, here's hoping the practitioner I see is as wonderful as my (self-admitted) former hippie Colonel, and practices the same type of "Mind, body, spirit" medicine. I really hope we as Americans find a better system for taking care of our citizens, where quality care is affordable for all, and doctors don't have to go bankrupt treating everyone. Wouldn't that be nice?

All you can eat

If I hear the words "I'm hungry!!" one more time, I might snap. Believe me when I say my kids are well fed, they have healthy meals and snacks throughout the day, with water available at all times, and juice and milk with meals. So when, in the last few days, my son has acted like a bottomless pit, it's more than a bit irritating. I'm not talking normal growth spurt eating, I'm talking about finishing breakfast, putting his bowl in the sink, and immediately telling me he's starving. Repeat the same scenario at lunchtime, and and then dinner, but when I offer a healthy snack he refuses it. So... you're hungry, but only for junk food? Um, nice try. Any ideas to satiate the hungry, hungry hippo without buying the whole grocery store and needing a forklift to get him in his carseat? I'm at a loss here. On the flipside of that, my itty-bitty Princess still seems to be at a growth standstill. Perhaps Shane stole all of the growing genes in utero, leaving Mads to be a sprite. Maybe she'll grow up to be like me, and survive on Coke** alone. There are worse things, I suppose.

**No, we don't allow our 3 year olds to drink Coke. We're not that horrible at parenting!!

Randomness

A few random points for everyone today. First of all, I logged into Bloglines today to find Buzz has returned to us!! Go say "Hi!" and scold him for leaving us for so long!
Next is the age old question of comments. I've had this discussion before, but somehow never acted upon it, so this time I shall try harder. I enjoy emailing responses to comments, but too often Haloscan doesn't actually send all of the comments. So, from now on I'll be replying to your witty banter in the comments section. I know MDMHVONPA (btw, can we get a shorter nickname for you, dude? You're killing me here!) is among the many who reply in comments, and I often find myself checking back to see what he has to say. So? Check back for more witty banter!!
Also, go over to Cori's and check out her new pretty digs. She got herself a makeover, and I'm planning to get a bit of a lift here as well.
Lastly, who gave my son the drama pill this morning? Come on, step up, so I can kick your ass. Really, one more croc tear over the silliest slight might push me over the edge, into the Valium Housewife club. Y'all might think I'm kidding, but I'm really not.

Perfect Match

I watch my friend's daughter, Yalyssa, a few days a week. She's a year younger than my kids, almost to the day. Shane and Yalyssa are 2 peas in a pod. Two arguing peas to be exact. They argue over anything and everything, all day long. For example, their daddies work together, but they love to argue over who's daddy is at work. They also like to argue over what toys from TV commericals belong to whom, which movie is "theirs", who gets to do what, and anything else they can find. It was endearing at first, but it got old quick. I'm constantly telling them to stop arguing, stop tattling on each other, just be nice to each other!! Of course, it's not mean-spirited arguing, just the two of them vying for Alpha Kid status. I swear these two are gonna grow up and marry, only to fight over who gets te remote, and which family to spend Thanksgiving with.

Delicioso!

My friend Yeida is Puerto Rican, as in "actually from Puerto Rico". The girl can cook!! She made some empanadas on Thanksgiving, a regular batch with green olives, and a batch for Nate without the olives. YUMMY!!! I'm eating the last two non-olive ones (they aren't nearly as good as the others) and told N we totally need to buy a deep fryer, and have Yeida teach me to make them. I'm a little in love....

Blogging Business

Cori and I were discussing all things blogging, and the topic of blogging to make a buck came up. Now, I'm not talking about putting some ads, or a Paypal button on your site to try and bring in a little extra income. I understand, and even have ads of my own. What we were talking about was the overly aggressive ads, and constant blogging about your latest get-rich-quick blogging idea. People like Busy Mom make a penny or two off their ads without beating us over the head with them. That's awesome, and more power to them for having enough traffic to pull it off. Others spend 95% of their blog time alienating their readers with this idea to make a bundle, or the latest ad idea to get rich. That's obnoxious. Seriously. If this hits a bit too close to home, you should really think about it, and analyze your stats. You're annoying your readers.

Auntie Em!! **updated**

We've been having some severe storms today, and we actually had a tornado touchdown less than a mile from my house. Our housing area is fine, other than lost power for about an hour, but another housing area has been trashed. Roofs ripped off, windows blown out, bad, but so far we think everyone is ok. The tornado was relatively minor, thankfully. It's been an interesting day, to say the least. How are you doing today?

CNN covered the story here... scroll down to Tornado Damage, apparently 30 homes were hit on post, and 17 families are now homeless. The good news is there aren't majro housing shortages here, so these families should be easily relocated, but it's still scary!!

Tag!

Addict did the "back when" meme, and passed the baton to anyone who wanted it. I've done this meme before, but it's been while, so I thought I'd give it another go. I'm not tagging anyone, so if you''d like to do it just let me know in comments!!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was 13, in 8th grade, and getting grounded a lot. I was rebellious, and my parents were strict.

What were you doing 5 years ago?
Shamefully, I must admit I was doing drugs 5 years ago. It'll be 5 years in February since I cleaned up.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Sitting in the hospital with my baby girl, her little leg badly broken.

5 snacks you enjoy
chips and dip
Twizzlers
chocolate
sharp cheese and crackers
cinnamon toast

5 songs to which you know all the lyrics
Whats Your Fantasy remix (Ludacris f. Shawna, Foxy Brown, and someone else I can't think of right now)
Fast Cars and Freedom (Rascal Flatts)
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song (the show is on, and I do know the theme song!!)
Crazy (DMB)
Ants Marching (DMB)

5 things you'd do if you were a millionaire
Pay off debt
Buy a second vehicle
Invest
Invest
Invest

5 Bad Habits
Smoking
picking at my skin
staying up too late
bitching
cussing

Five things you like doing
surfing the net (DUH)
sleeping
shopping
baking
scrapbooking (I'm SUCH a mom!)

5 things you would never wear again
Never say never, lest it come back to bite me in the ass

5 favorite toys
Laptop
sewing machine
digital camera
um... that's it for me

So, who's playing along??

Signs

There are a few possibilities here, and they are all painful.
A. I'm getting old, and arthritis is setting in.
B. I'm too acclimated to warm weather, and the cold is causing the pain in my joints
C. I spend too much time on the computer (which only accounts for the pain in my hands)

**Sigh** Pass the Motrin...